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Sexism vs. Misogyny

americanwoman said:
Being an independent woman is not for everyone but yes personally, I like my own paycheck, my own account, and not having to ask to buy a new pair of shoes if I want to.
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Well, according to a lot of female conservatives, you are either lying, brainwashed, or you're part of a special minority of women which included people like Margret Thatcher or Marine Le Pen who should be independent and career driven.
So you shouldn't worry about adopting gender roles.
Instead you should be pressuring women who are less confident into adhering to roles that you can reject because you're special, unlike those non-special women who need a man and children to survive
 
americanwoman said:
No but I have heard money is one of the top things couples fight about yet I have never once gotten into a fight with my husband about money. It might stand to reason if only one person is making the money, they might feel they have the most say about what the money gets spent on.

Love and money survey shows big changes in how couples manage finances | Money



It can go either way, that if one in the relationship makes a supposed frivolous purchase, it can cause friction. Now if I have my own money to spend on what I want and my husband has his own money to spend it on what he wants, that lessens the chances we will fight about each others purchases.
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The thing with marriages is that your incomes are supposed to be one anyway. If you're both making money or if only one person makes money the tension on silly spending will be there regardless. Sure, it might be worse if only one person is earning all the money, but then it might not be.
 
whateverdude said:
Well, according to a lot of female conservatives, you are either lying, brainwashed, or you're part of a special minority of women which included people like Margret Thatcher or Marine Le Pen who should be independent and career driven.
So you shouldn't worry about adopting gender roles.
Instead you should be pressuring women who are less confident into adhering to roles that you can reject because you're special, unlike those non-special women who need a man and children to survive
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Studies show that men and women are happier in traditional realtionships and the vast majority of people prefer more traditional outlooks on partners regardless of the preference on traditional vs modern. The thing that leftists and feminists didn't get in early days is that they represented a minority of women, and the thing they don't get today is that they represent a minority of people. As for me, I just laugh at the whole affair. The idea women were going to be happier trying to balance work and children is laughable, and the idea that the entire arrangement as it was in those days was nothing but sexist drivel is just ignorant.
 
whateverdude said:
Well, according to a lot of female conservatives, you are either lying, brainwashed, or you're part of a special minority of women which included people like Margret Thatcher or Marine Le Pen who should be independent and career driven.
So you shouldn't worry about adopting gender roles.
Instead you should be pressuring women who are less confident into adhering to roles that you can reject because you're special, unlike those non-special women who need a man and children to survive
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Um, no. I know a lot of conservative women who feel just like I do and if someone doesn't live like I do, I respect their choices and would not pressure anyone. Staying at home or working is everyone's own choice and each is just as good as the other.
 
Henrin said:
The thing with marriages is that your incomes are supposed to be one anyway. If you're both making money or if only one person makes money the tension on silly spending will be there regardless. Sure, it might be worse if only one person is earning all the money, but then it might not be.
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I don't know if you are married, but will you support your wife and if so, does she have buying privileges in that you wouldn't question what she has bought?
 
americanwoman said:
Um, no. I know a lot of conservative women who feel just like I do and if someone doesn't live like I do, I respect their choices and would not pressure anyone. Staying at home or working is everyone's own choice and each is just as good as the other.
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I meant conservative in a more politic sense. When I think of a "conservative" I tend to think of people who has strict views about how society ought to behave more so than their individual choices
 
Kal'Stang said:
I'll occasionally kill spiders for my wife. Other times I'll make her do it so that she can face her fear of spiders and conquer that fear.

Loving a woman does not mean that you protect her in every way imaginable. Loving a woman means that you help and support her in every way imaginable. Even if that means pushing them to do what they need to do in order to grow. Which means that on occasion, she should be facing her fears instead of running away from them. And that means making her do the ugly stuff. Such as killing spiders. And yes, even defending herself against another guy if necessary. Because YOU/I will not always be there to protect her. That is an impossibility because life is not that predictable. They need to be able to do things on their own and be just as much of a man independent person as you or I.

When I first met my wife she was naive as hell. Always spoke before thinking. Always trusting of everyone around her. Hell, the first night that we were introduced I waited after work until she got off of work (we worked in the same place) in order to walk her home. And she let me. Even though she thought I was maybe a pervert that was going to rape her the second I had a chance. I have encouraged her to grow. To become more thoughtful. I'll engage her in talks designed to broaden her mind. Now...now she's almost a completely different woman. More confident. More self assured. KNOWING that she can handle things now. At times I was deliberately mean to her in order to get her to the point that she is at now. 16 years of marriage this June. Lord knows what she's going to be like in another 16 years. Quite possibly she'll have grown beyond me. And I encourage it. Because I love her and want the best for her. If that means that I have to be mean to get her to that point then so be it. If that means that I will lose her then so be it. In the end, it will have been for her.

And I will have done it by treating her EQUALLY. By not coddling her. By not acting like some Man that thinks women always need protection from spiders. But by loving her.

That is what love is. Sexism is a poor substitute at best and is more about the person that is sexist than it is about the woman that he loves. "Oh look! I'm killing a spider for my fraidy cat significant other! Aren't I great!" "Oh look! I stood up to a guy while my fraidy cat significant other ran away! Aren't I brave! Screw that noise. I'd rather my wife grow than be kept in a bottle to be trotted out as some sort of trophy.
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You know every time you kill a spider it sends ripple shockwaves through the universe and the spider coven sends more and evil'er bigger spiders to your house right?
 
dirtpoorchris said:
You know every time you kill a spider it sends ripple shockwaves through the universe and the spider coven sends more and evil'er bigger spiders to your house right?
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This is the most terrifying thing I've read today. And I've read a few of whateverdude's threads today...so that's saying something. :p
 
americanwoman said:
Yes, I am much more happier working and earning my own money than being dependent on someone else's paycheck. Whether it's in an industrial plant or whatever.
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I agree 100%. I am very grateful to my parents for helping me with my disability. But I would have been much happier if I did not need anyone's help.
 
dirtpoorchris said:
You know every time you kill a spider it sends ripple shockwaves through the universe and the spider coven sends more and evil'er bigger spiders to your house right?
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Nah, we have a deal. If I see them outside I won't kill them. I see them inside then they are going to die. They seem to respect that for the most part. Just a few renegades is all I ever have to deal with. ;)
 
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