• This is a political forum that is non-biased/non-partisan and treats every person's position on topics equally. This debate forum is not aligned to any political party. In today's politics, many ideas are split between and even within all the political parties. Often we find ourselves agreeing on one platform but some topics break our mold. We are here to discuss them in a civil political debate. If this is your first visit to our political forums, be sure to check out the RULES. Registering for debate politics is necessary before posting. Register today to participate - it's free!

Women gain happiness from seeing their partner upset

Celebrity

DP Veteran
Joined
May 13, 2016
Messages
5,257
Reaction score
761
Location
VT, USA
Gender
Undisclosed
Political Leaning
Undisclosed
This type of study is one that goes against my gut instinct. My instinct was to reject its findings simply because I find it hard to believe that women enjoy male pain. Well, after about 10 seconds more of reading I found that the premise was a little more palatable. Science is tasty like that.

Surprisingly, the researchers found, women were more likely to report higher relationship satisfaction when they could read their partners’ anger or frustration than when they could identify their happiness. No, it’s not that women revel in their significant others’ distress; rather, it’s that they prefer negative emotion to withdrawal or silence. “For women, seeing their husband or boyfriend upset is a reflection of their partner’s emotional engagement. When women see their male partners sharing their negative emotions, they see it as a sign of connection, openness and communication. Women don’t like it when men distance themselves during conflict,” says the study’s lead author, Dr. Shiri Cohen of Harvard Medical School.

So my thoughts are as follows, if women really can't bear to be disconnected for even the smallest amount of time, that could lead to some problems in relationships. Women feel there is an incentive to expose men, and men do not want to be exposed, and thus men feel violated by prying women. This is especially true when men are held to a higher standard than women, or expected to perform.

For example, if a woman wants her partner to earn more money, the issue may double if her partner is not open to discussing money. Money is a sensitive issue for a lot of men and women.

On the other hand, women who are not granted access face a different problem. They must either coerce an insincere relationship, or cultivate a stagnant relationship. In the long term, that might mean she risks over-committing to a non-functional relationship in order to compensate.

It is ironic that women expect men to perform to a certain degree over a longer period of time than, say intercourse. Thus, a man should not force a woman to sexually perform, and the two partners may go their separate ways. But in some situations it is acceptable (according to women) for a woman to cause a man emotional distress if it is in the best interest of the relationship. In the short term, there is less at stake, but we still treat bodily autonomy (i.e. personal space) as more important than social autonomy (i.e. social space). His partner having a headache might be an immediately accepted reason to cease sexual relations, yet her partner having a headache might cast doubt on the nature of the relationship.

What Women Really Want in a Relationship | TIME.com

http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/fam-26-2-236.pdf
 
There are times when a man just knows the answer without a study being necessary.
 
There are times when a man just knows the answer without a study being necessary.

giphy.gif
 
So your title should've been "Women are happier when their significant other shares how he's feeling and why".
 
This type of study is one that goes against my gut instinct. My instinct was to reject its findings simply because I find it hard to believe that women enjoy male pain. Well, after about 10 seconds more of reading I found that the premise was a little more palatable. Science is tasty like that.



So my thoughts are as follows, if women really can't bear to be disconnected for even the smallest amount of time, that could lead to some problems in relationships. Women feel there is an incentive to expose men, and men do not want to be exposed, and thus men feel violated by prying women. This is especially true when men are held to a higher standard than women, or expected to perform.

For example, if a woman wants her partner to earn more money, the issue may double if her partner is not open to discussing money. Money is a sensitive issue for a lot of men and women.

On the other hand, women who are not granted access face a different problem. They must either coerce an insincere relationship, or cultivate a stagnant relationship. In the long term, that might mean she risks over-committing to a non-functional relationship in order to compensate.

It is ironic that women expect men to perform to a certain degree over a longer period of time than, say intercourse. Thus, a man should not force a woman to sexually perform, and the two partners may go their separate ways. But in some situations it is acceptable (according to women) for a woman to cause a man emotional distress if it is in the best interest of the relationship. In the short term, there is less at stake, but we still treat bodily autonomy (i.e. personal space) as more important than social autonomy (i.e. social space). His partner having a headache might be an immediately accepted reason to cease sexual relations, yet her partner having a headache might cast doubt on the nature of the relationship.

What Women Really Want in a Relationship | TIME.com

http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/fam-26-2-236.pdf

There is an old adage that suites this. Men marry women hoping they will never change while a woman will only marry a man she thinks she can change.
 
So your title should've been "Women are happier when their significant other shares how he's feeling and why".

Or maybe "We now understand why women provoke men into hitting them".
 
Or maybe "We now understand why women provoke men into hitting them".

That is not a point that this article makes. Is there something you are bringing to the table that makes you misinterpret it?
 
Indeed Hawkeye10's joke is offensive.

But believing in gender equality is incompatible with holding Hawkeye10 to a higher ethical standard then a respectable Guardian contributor Barbara Ellen.

Barbara Ellen said:
Some females might have periods in their life when they get "slap-happy", primarily when socialising, maybe when attention seeking, usually when drunk (guilty!).
 
Or maybe "We now understand why women provoke men into hitting them".

Jesus Christ, man. Stop trying to justify domestic violence there, Chris Brown.
 
So your title should've been "Women are happier when their significant other shares how he's feeling and why".

Whoa now, did you read the article instead of just the headline? That is NOT tolerated around here.
 
Or maybe "We now understand why women provoke men into hitting them".

May I quote you on this? Seriously. I want this as my new signature. I want as many people as possible to see how you think.
 
Indeed Hawkeye10's joke is offensive.

But believing in gender equality is incompatible with holding Hawkeye10 to a higher ethical standard then a respectable Guardian contributor Barbara Ellen.

There was no joke, poor quality women do provoke their men to hit them on a regular basis, and poor quality men fall for it.

Even suggesting that this is true is taboo in victim culture, but truth seekers dont respect taboos.
 
Q: What of those people who will say the woman does something to provoke the man?

Women who are in relationships with men who are violent are not responsible for the men's behavior. Only the man and the person who is behaving violently can stop behaving that way. Women who are in relationships with men who are violent cannot stop the man from being violent. Only the person who is behaving violently can stop that behavior, just like a situation with drug or alcohol abuse, only the person who is using the drug or alcohol can stop that behavior. Only if a person is over-eating, only the person who is over-eating can stop putting food in their mouth. No one else can make them do that. Women who are in relationships with violent men need to know that. However, they need to be responsible for keeping themselves safe.

A woman's responsibility in a domestically violent relationship is to keep herself safe and also to keep her children safe. And sometimes that may mean that she'll have to do things that she would prefer not to do such as distance herself from the man or get help outside of the family or call the police to have the man arrested because we do know that arrest and incarceration is a major impediment to some men's future violence, particularly men who do not have a history of being previously involved in the legal justice system. So women need to know that even though they cannot stop the man's violence, they are responsible for keeping themselves safe.
Interview: Susan Hanks, Ph.D.

Notice the total evasion of the question, which is the normal response. Had it been pressed again we likely would have gotten a lie.
 
May I quote you on this? Seriously. I want this as my new signature. I want as many people as possible to see how you think.

You would never do anything that nice for me..advertise that I am a truth seeker, a truth teller, a taboo breaker......
 
There was no joke, poor quality women do provoke their men to hit them on a regular basis, and poor quality men fall for it.

People on DP will never admit to that.
 
There was no joke, poor quality women do provoke their men to hit them on a regular basis, and poor quality men fall for it.

Even suggesting that this is true is taboo in victim culture, but truth seekers dont respect taboos.

One does not provoke a crime.

Does this thread need to be moved to the CT subforum?
 
There was no joke, poor quality women do provoke their men to hit them on a regular basis, and poor quality men fall for it.

Even suggesting that this is true is taboo in victim culture, but truth seekers dont respect taboos.

Another stroke of brilliance. I want to quote you.
 
One does not provoke a crime.

Does this thread need to be moved to the CT subforum?

Lol. You know so little about conflict.
 
Lol. You know so little about conflict.

Is there a misogyny signal, like The Bat Signal?

"Women cause themselves to be beat." So sick.
 
Back
Top Bottom