I have an honest question?

CanadaJohn said:

I believe there have been lots of scientific studies and research projects on the issue of attraction along the human spectrum and it has been concluded, without equivocation, the precise reason is "damned if I know".

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That's for damn sure. My experience is that what I ordinarily think of myself as attracted to, is not what is attracted to me, so my mental image, and reality, are often very different. So what I have concluded, without equivocation, is that I want it all, damnit. :lol:

Beaudreaux said:

I have a niece that is a lesbian. She is one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen in my life - she dates women that are also very beautiful. She does not like the "butch" look.

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I have a niece who is lesbian, who should have been a boy. There is no doubt in my mind that she was probably originally a male, that didn't completely form in utero. THat being said, her choices in women are usually not overly feminine, but not masculine either- really rather neutral on the fem/masculinity scale. My niece is masculine in the same way that Helen Degeneris is. Beautiful, but not feminine.

herenow1 said:

If you are drawn to women, why are you drawn to women who look and act like men? This is a genuine question. I guess the same could be asked for a gay male dating a very effeminate male. I guess it's hard for me to understand.

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I am hetero, but I have quite a few friends who are not. Most of the lesbians that I know are older (in my age range), and they didn't live their entire lives as lesbian, but decided late in life, after failed relationships with men who treated them badly, to form romantic relationships with other women. They usually tend to go for women who are very masculine, in my experience.

herenow1 said:

I've always wondered what I'm about to ask, and have never asked a gay person, so I wanted to ask where I know I'll get honest responses from gay people.

I've noticed that many lesbian women date women who look a lot like men. There have been times that even I was unsure if the female was in fact female. My question is;

If you are drawn to women, why are you drawn to women who look and act like men? This is a genuine question. I guess the same could be asked for a gay male dating a very effeminate male. I guess it's hard for me to understand.

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Not being gay I have no real inclination, but I imagine even in same sex relationships that 'opposites attract' is still an effect.

I'm often attracted to females that are different than me in many respects, especially, since I'm kind of introverted, and don't need another reclusive person to help me hide more. I need a lace to offset my leather.

lizzie said:

I am hetero, but I have quite a few friends who are not. Most of the lesbians that I know are older (in my age range), and they didn't live their entire lives as lesbian, but decided late in life, after failed relationships with men who treated them badly, to form romantic relationships with other women. They usually tend to go for women who are very masculine, in my experience.

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I have known quite a few lesbians. Some are like that, others are not. I think it takes all kinds of people.. I know a couple of lesbians who are very feminine, and some that have been described as 'dyke'. The younger ones seem a lot less defensive about things.

lizzie said:

I have a niece who is lesbian, who should have been a boy. There is no doubt in my mind that she was probably originally a male, that didn't completely form in utero. THat being said, her choices in women are usually not overly feminine, but not masculine either- really rather neutral on the fem/masculinity scale. My niece is masculine in the same way that Helen Degeneris is. Beautiful, but not feminine.

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Unless she is a woman with complete AIS (which would have been diagnosed by the time she was a teenager for certain, because AIS women don't menstruate), that's not possible.

All embryos, no matter what their chromosomes are, start on a female development path. Males don't start to diverge until about halfway through the first trimester, if I recall correctly. The only thing that will feminize the development of an XY male embryo once it begins to differentiate is insensitivity to androgens, AIS.

While complete AIS is sometimes missed at birth because the baby looks so female, it is always caught later. AIS women don't menstruate, and usually have health problems that require gonad removal in their late teens or early 20's. They also have no or very little body hair, and odorless sweat -- hyperfeminine, basically.

In all likelihood, she just conceptualizes her gender in a way that doesn't agree with social "norms." That doesn't make her less of a woman. Those norms aren't some kind of rule of nature. We didn't have make-up and high heels in the early days of humanity, after all, and some cultures still don't. None of those things dictate gender or define what is or isn't a woman.

herenow1 said:

I've always wondered what I'm about to ask, and have never asked a gay person, so I wanted to ask where I know I'll get honest responses from gay people.

I've noticed that many lesbian women date women who look a lot like men. There have been times that even I was unsure if the female was in fact female. My question is;

If you are drawn to women, why are you drawn to women who look and act like men? This is a genuine question. I guess the same could be asked for a gay male dating a very effeminate male. I guess it's hard for me to understand.

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I think you're a bit young and confused. The vast majority of lesbians are attracted to very feminine women.