How to handle the boozers at get togethers.

Personally, I am not much of a drinker, I will partake as little as possible and still be sociable. I don't really feel comfortable around inebriated people. I prefer to be around my family sober. My extended family, including my older kids and ex wife, seems get their buzz on earlier and earlier at get togethers. This year at our family Xmas, the rum, gin and vodka came out at 2: oo pm. Folks were louder, and more obnoxious before they even had dinner, let alone the gift exchange. I just kept disappearing periodically and returning. I am rude when I am gone, but uncomfortable there. How do I navigate this so that everyone is happy if they want to be drunk, when I want them to be sober. They really want me to be happy and enjoy myself.


Does anybody here 'get' this problem?

btthegreat said:

Personally, I am not much of a drinker, I will partake as little as possible and still be sociable. I don't really feel comfortable around inebriated people. I prefer to be around my family sober. My extended family, including my older kids and ex wife, seems get their buzz on earlier and earlier at get togethers. This year at our family Xmas, the rum, gin and vodka came out at 2: oo pm. Folks were louder, and more obnoxious before they even had dinner, let alone the gift exchange. I just kept disappearing periodically and returning. I am rude when I am gone, but uncomfortable there. How do I navigate this so that everyone is happy if they want to be drunk, when I want them to be sober. They really want me to be happy and enjoy myself.


Does anybody here 'get' this problem?

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Take a valium.

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In the last year I’ve developed a condition where I really shouldn’t drink very much and on top of that, or perhaps because of it, when I have indulged a bit, it doesn’t hit me the same way.

Unfortunately in Western Society alcohol is such a fundamental aspect of socialization, that not doing it can often leave one feeling ostracized in many social situations or at the very least, uncomfortable.

If I were to make a suggestion, speak to someone, or a couple of people that you feel comfortable with in your family, explaining how you feel, it doesn’t need to be a sit down with the whole family, dramatics are never the answer but just say how you feel and see if there’s a way to make it all good, best I can think of.

But yeah, it’s tough, I first realized it when I was younger, I was a big drinker, perhaps dangerously so, then I got a job where I saw drinkers at their worst and it put me off quite a bit, being sober amongst drunks is a... test sometimes.

btthegreat said:

Personally, I am not much of a drinker, I will partake as little as possible and still be sociable. I don't really feel comfortable around inebriated people. I prefer to be around my family sober. My extended family, including my older kids and ex wife, seems get their buzz on earlier and earlier at get togethers. This year at our family Xmas, the rum, gin and vodka came out at 2: oo pm. Folks were louder, and more obnoxious before they even had dinner, let alone the gift exchange. I just kept disappearing periodically and returning. I am rude when I am gone, but uncomfortable there. How do I navigate this so that everyone is happy if they want to be drunk, when I want them to be sober. They really want me to be happy and enjoy myself.


Does anybody here 'get' this problem?

Click to expand...

Oregon allows recreational marijuana. Mellow out.

btthegreat said:

Personally, I am not much of a drinker, I will partake as little as possible and still be sociable. I don't really feel comfortable around inebriated people. I prefer to be around my family sober. My extended family, including my older kids and ex wife, seems get their buzz on earlier and earlier at get togethers. This year at our family Xmas, the rum, gin and vodka came out at 2: oo pm. Folks were louder, and more obnoxious before they even had dinner, let alone the gift exchange. I just kept disappearing periodically and returning. I am rude when I am gone, but uncomfortable there. How do I navigate this so that everyone is happy if they want to be drunk, when I want them to be sober. They really want me to be happy and enjoy myself.


Does anybody here 'get' this problem?

Click to expand...

I volunteered as 'designated driver' on many an occasion. Watching drunks in their natural habitat became a bit of fun for me.

As long as they are drunk and happy all is good.

Accept it or stop going

btthegreat said:

Personally, I am not much of a drinker, I will partake as little as possible and still be sociable. I don't really feel comfortable around inebriated people. I prefer to be around my family sober. My extended family, including my older kids and ex wife, seems get their buzz on earlier and earlier at get togethers. This year at our family Xmas, the rum, gin and vodka came out at 2: oo pm. Folks were louder, and more obnoxious before they even had dinner, let alone the gift exchange. I just kept disappearing periodically and returning. I am rude when I am gone, but uncomfortable there. How do I navigate this so that everyone is happy if they want to be drunk, when I want them to be sober. They really want me to be happy and enjoy myself.


Does anybody here 'get' this problem?

Click to expand...

When people get older they, get smarter in a lot of ways. One of those ways is that they don't go to family Xmas gatherings that they don't enjoy. I'm at that stage in life that if I don't enjoy being with certain people or around large crowds that annoy me, I simply don't go. Life's too short.

HumblePi said:

When people get older they, get smarter in a lot of ways. One of those ways is that they don't go to family Xmas gatherings that they don't enjoy. I'm at that stage in life that if I don't enjoy being with certain people or around large crowds that annoy me, I simply don't go. Life's too short.

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I have always done the Irish goodbye. It serves me well and people rarely remember that my wife and I disappeared without saying goodbye. I get credit for my attendance and soon enough I get the feck out.