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Need advice

ClaraD

ClaraD

DP Veteran
Joined
Jun 20, 2018
Messages
48,004
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Location
Somewhere in the Low Country
Gender
Female
Political Leaning
Slightly Liberal
Yesterday, just after lunch I saw a fatal accident. Car veered off the left side of I 26 and hit a tree. They were doing about 70 to 75 when they went off the road. I think he fell asleep, not positive, but I think that happened. The car ignited quickly, it was a Jeep Wrangler 4 door. I think a Renegade or a Sahara. When I first saw it it was just a flash of blue and was obstructed by other traffic, which is heavy and bottlenecked in that area. In fact, I would have sworn it was a van until I was out of my car sprinting towards the wreck. The fire was all around the driver, I would have been burned pretty badly had I tried to get to him(I did receive a few minor burns anyway) and he wasn't awake, leaning over the wheel and fire burning quite intense there. I went for the passenger in a split decision and pulled him out of the car, by the time I was extracting him through the rear door another few people arrived to help to get him out. Someone had a fire extenguisher but the fire was really intense and was catching the woods on fire at this point, so he backed off.
The passenger, has had 3 surgeries in the past 24 hours, I am not a big woman and he was near 200 lbs, which I didn't realize at the time. He had internal bleeding in his intenstines, they said his ileum was shredded and destroyed, he has a broken spine in the lumbar area and had pins and a rod placed in his legs, both femurs were broken, one beyond repair. He is clearly in ICU and on a vent. I learned the driver was his best friend, I am destroyed. I wonder what I did wrong, I just don't know how I could go back to the car, I was physically taxed. I don't think the other young man was alive, but I keep playing it again and again wondering what if. Dorchester county sheriff was there, quite a few, highway patrol and of course serveral EMTS showed up and a parole officer that happened upon the scene as we were pulling him from the wreck and she directed me what to do, took my phone and spoke to 911 giving orders. What if the other guy was still alive and I was wrong that he appeared already expired? What if I didn't do everything I could? He burned in his car, it is killing me. I didn't sleep one second last night. My body is tired and I have very sore muscles and my heart aches, but what if I didn't do everything I could? What if he was still alive and I let him stay in the car?
Worse yet, what if someone ran him off the road and I simply just didn't see it?
The highway patrol of course interviewed me and another witness(she actually was there right behind me so saw a little less than I did...but no one in front of us stopped. That area is known for cars moving from one lane to another quite frequently because it is right after a weigh station.
I have PTSD and have had it for 8 years, it affected me, but I am just really upset at what I could have changed.

The passenger says he was asleep so he doesn't know what happened.
 
ClaraD said:
Yesterday, just after lunch I saw a fatal accident. Car veered off the left side of I 26 and hit a tree. They were doing about 70 to 75 when they went off the road. I think he fell asleep, not positive, but I think that happened. The car ignited quickly, it was a Jeep Wrangler 4 door. I think a Renegade or a Sahara. When I first saw it it was just a flash of blue and was obstructed by other traffic, which is heavy and bottlenecked in that area. In fact, I would have sworn it was a van until I was out of my car sprinting towards the wreck. The fire was all around the driver, I would have been burned pretty badly had I tried to get to him(I did receive a few minor burns anyway) and he wasn't awake, leaning over the wheel and fire burning quite intense there. I went for the passenger in a split decision and pulled him out of the car, by the time I was extracting him through the rear door another few people arrived to help to get him out. Someone had a fire extenguisher but the fire was really intense and was catching the woods on fire at this point, so he backed off.
The passenger, has had 3 surgeries in the past 24 hours, I am not a big woman and he was near 200 lbs, which I didn't realize at the time. He had internal bleeding in his intenstines, they said his ileum was shredded and destroyed, he has a broken spine in the lumbar area and had pins and a rod placed in his legs, both femurs were broken, one beyond repair. He is clearly in ICU and on a vent. I learned the driver was his best friend, I am destroyed. I wonder what I did wrong, I just don't know how I could go back to the car, I was physically taxed. I don't think the other young man was alive, but I keep playing it again and again wondering what if. Dorchester county sheriff was there, quite a few, highway patrol and of course serveral EMTS showed up and a parole officer that happened upon the scene as we were pulling him from the wreck and she directed me what to do, took my phone and spoke to 911 giving orders. What if the other guy was still alive and I was wrong that he appeared already expired? What if I didn't do everything I could? He burned in his car, it is killing me. I didn't sleep one second last night. My body is tired and I have very sore muscles and my heart aches, but what if I didn't do everything I could? What if he was still alive and I let him stay in the car?
Worse yet, what if someone ran him off the road and I simply just didn't see it?
The highway patrol of course interviewed me and another witness(she actually was there right behind me so saw a little less than I did...but no one in front of us stopped. That area is known for cars moving from one lane to another quite frequently because it is right after a weigh station.
I have PTSD and have had it for 8 years, it affected me, but I am just really upset at what I could have changed.

The passenger says he was asleep so he doesn't know what happened.
Click to expand...


Colorado's Good Samaritan Law protects people from legal liability if they act in an emergency situation to give aid to a person who is injured. The law is intended to encourage people to offer emergency aid without being worried about being sued



We all do the best we can.
 
Clara, you made that call with what was your best judgement. You saved a life. You acted with courage. I think you probably made the best call if the driver's side was engulfed.

I would urge you to talk to a minister, priest, or a professional counselor. You acted heroically and honorably. Don't beat yourself up.
 
ClaraD said:
Yesterday, just after lunch I saw a fatal accident. Car veered off the left side of I 26 and hit a tree. They were doing about 70 to 75 when they went off the road. I think he fell asleep, not positive, but I think that happened. The car ignited quickly, it was a Jeep Wrangler 4 door. I think a Renegade or a Sahara. When I first saw it it was just a flash of blue and was obstructed by other traffic, which is heavy and bottlenecked in that area. In fact, I would have sworn it was a van until I was out of my car sprinting towards the wreck. The fire was all around the driver, I would have been burned pretty badly had I tried to get to him(I did receive a few minor burns anyway) and he wasn't awake, leaning over the wheel and fire burning quite intense there. I went for the passenger in a split decision and pulled him out of the car, by the time I was extracting him through the rear door another few people arrived to help to get him out. Someone had a fire extenguisher but the fire was really intense and was catching the woods on fire at this point, so he backed off.
The passenger, has had 3 surgeries in the past 24 hours, I am not a big woman and he was near 200 lbs, which I didn't realize at the time. He had internal bleeding in his intenstines, they said his ileum was shredded and destroyed, he has a broken spine in the lumbar area and had pins and a rod placed in his legs, both femurs were broken, one beyond repair. He is clearly in ICU and on a vent. I learned the driver was his best friend, I am destroyed. I wonder what I did wrong, I just don't know how I could go back to the car, I was physically taxed. I don't think the other young man was alive, but I keep playing it again and again wondering what if. Dorchester county sheriff was there, quite a few, highway patrol and of course serveral EMTS showed up and a parole officer that happened upon the scene as we were pulling him from the wreck and she directed me what to do, took my phone and spoke to 911 giving orders. What if the other guy was still alive and I was wrong that he appeared already expired? What if I didn't do everything I could? He burned in his car, it is killing me. I didn't sleep one second last night. My body is tired and I have very sore muscles and my heart aches, but what if I didn't do everything I could? What if he was still alive and I let him stay in the car?
Worse yet, what if someone ran him off the road and I simply just didn't see it?
The highway patrol of course interviewed me and another witness(she actually was there right behind me so saw a little less than I did...but no one in front of us stopped. That area is known for cars moving from one lane to another quite frequently because it is right after a weigh station.
I have PTSD and have had it for 8 years, it affected me, but I am just really upset at what I could have changed.

The passenger says he was asleep so he doesn't know what happened.
Click to expand...
You did everything you physically were capable of doing. No more can be asked of you.

Firefighters and EMT's have to make the same choices you did. They have to make an on the spot determination of who they can help, and who is simply unsavable. I've known firemen who have to do this everyday and they say the first time they had to respond to such an accident, there was the same kind of second guessing and guilt that you're going through right now, so don't think you're alone in that feeling.

When people have internal bleeding they typically need to be on their way to the hospital within 15 minutes (give or take), or they will probably die before they ever get to the emergency room.

By pulling the young man out when you did, you bought him extra minutes that no doubt made the difference. You helped save his life.

You're a hero for that man and his family. :2grouphug
 
ClaraD said:
Yesterday, just after lunch I saw a fatal accident. Car veered off the left side of I 26 and hit a tree. They were doing about 70 to 75 when they went off the road. I think he fell asleep, not positive, but I think that happened. The car ignited quickly, it was a Jeep Wrangler 4 door. I think a Renegade or a Sahara. When I first saw it it was just a flash of blue and was obstructed by other traffic, which is heavy and bottlenecked in that area. In fact, I would have sworn it was a van until I was out of my car sprinting towards the wreck. The fire was all around the driver, I would have been burned pretty badly had I tried to get to him(I did receive a few minor burns anyway) and he wasn't awake, leaning over the wheel and fire burning quite intense there. I went for the passenger in a split decision and pulled him out of the car, by the time I was extracting him through the rear door another few people arrived to help to get him out. Someone had a fire extenguisher but the fire was really intense and was catching the woods on fire at this point, so he backed off.
The passenger, has had 3 surgeries in the past 24 hours, I am not a big woman and he was near 200 lbs, which I didn't realize at the time. He had internal bleeding in his intenstines, they said his ileum was shredded and destroyed, he has a broken spine in the lumbar area and had pins and a rod placed in his legs, both femurs were broken, one beyond repair. He is clearly in ICU and on a vent. I learned the driver was his best friend, I am destroyed. I wonder what I did wrong, I just don't know how I could go back to the car, I was physically taxed. I don't think the other young man was alive, but I keep playing it again and again wondering what if. Dorchester county sheriff was there, quite a few, highway patrol and of course serveral EMTS showed up and a parole officer that happened upon the scene as we were pulling him from the wreck and she directed me what to do, took my phone and spoke to 911 giving orders. What if the other guy was still alive and I was wrong that he appeared already expired? What if I didn't do everything I could? He burned in his car, it is killing me. I didn't sleep one second last night. My body is tired and I have very sore muscles and my heart aches, but what if I didn't do everything I could? What if he was still alive and I let him stay in the car?
Worse yet, what if someone ran him off the road and I simply just didn't see it?
The highway patrol of course interviewed me and another witness(she actually was there right behind me so saw a little less than I did...but no one in front of us stopped. That area is known for cars moving from one lane to another quite frequently because it is right after a weigh station.
I have PTSD and have had it for 8 years, it affected me, but I am just really upset at what I could have changed.

The passenger says he was asleep so he doesn't know what happened.
Click to expand...

Doesn't sound like you could have changed anything other than not stopping to begin with. Driver was probably well on his way to dead anyway if not already there. High speed sudden stop impacts are often fatal. Don't be shocked if passenger doesn't survive in the end either.
 
ClaraD said:
Yesterday, just after lunch I saw a fatal accident. Car veered off the left side of I 26 and hit a tree. They were doing about 70 to 75 when they went off the road. I think he fell asleep, not positive, but I think that happened. The car ignited quickly, it was a Jeep Wrangler 4 door. I think a Renegade or a Sahara. When I first saw it it was just a flash of blue and was obstructed by other traffic, which is heavy and bottlenecked in that area. In fact, I would have sworn it was a van until I was out of my car sprinting towards the wreck. The fire was all around the driver, I would have been burned pretty badly had I tried to get to him(I did receive a few minor burns anyway) and he wasn't awake, leaning over the wheel and fire burning quite intense there. I went for the passenger in a split decision and pulled him out of the car, by the time I was extracting him through the rear door another few people arrived to help to get him out. Someone had a fire extenguisher but the fire was really intense and was catching the woods on fire at this point, so he backed off.
The passenger, has had 3 surgeries in the past 24 hours, I am not a big woman and he was near 200 lbs, which I didn't realize at the time. He had internal bleeding in his intenstines, they said his ileum was shredded and destroyed, he has a broken spine in the lumbar area and had pins and a rod placed in his legs, both femurs were broken, one beyond repair. He is clearly in ICU and on a vent. I learned the driver was his best friend, I am destroyed. I wonder what I did wrong, I just don't know how I could go back to the car, I was physically taxed. I don't think the other young man was alive, but I keep playing it again and again wondering what if. Dorchester county sheriff was there, quite a few, highway patrol and of course serveral EMTS showed up and a parole officer that happened upon the scene as we were pulling him from the wreck and she directed me what to do, took my phone and spoke to 911 giving orders. What if the other guy was still alive and I was wrong that he appeared already expired? What if I didn't do everything I could? He burned in his car, it is killing me. I didn't sleep one second last night. My body is tired and I have very sore muscles and my heart aches, but what if I didn't do everything I could? What if he was still alive and I let him stay in the car?
Worse yet, what if someone ran him off the road and I simply just didn't see it?
The highway patrol of course interviewed me and another witness(she actually was there right behind me so saw a little less than I did...but no one in front of us stopped. That area is known for cars moving from one lane to another quite frequently because it is right after a weigh station.
I have PTSD and have had it for 8 years, it affected me, but I am just really upset at what I could have changed.

The passenger says he was asleep so he doesn't know what happened.
Click to expand...

My God, that's...I..

You did so much more than others would. You did all you were capable of doing. You saved the life you could save. Who could ask more? Do not ask more of yourself. And while I've never been to a therapist, perhaps one might help.....even it just to keep talking it through. I don't know. But there is absolutely nothing you failed to do. I know "don't let yourself think that" is useless, but don't.
 
ClaraD said:
Yesterday, just after lunch I saw a fatal accident. Car veered off the left side of I 26 and hit a tree. They were doing about 70 to 75 when they went off the road. I think he fell asleep, not positive, but I think that happened. The car ignited quickly, it was a Jeep Wrangler 4 door. I think a Renegade or a Sahara. When I first saw it it was just a flash of blue and was obstructed by other traffic, which is heavy and bottlenecked in that area. In fact, I would have sworn it was a van until I was out of my car sprinting towards the wreck. The fire was all around the driver, I would have been burned pretty badly had I tried to get to him(I did receive a few minor burns anyway) and he wasn't awake, leaning over the wheel and fire burning quite intense there. I went for the passenger in a split decision and pulled him out of the car, by the time I was extracting him through the rear door another few people arrived to help to get him out. Someone had a fire extenguisher but the fire was really intense and was catching the woods on fire at this point, so he backed off.
The passenger, has had 3 surgeries in the past 24 hours, I am not a big woman and he was near 200 lbs, which I didn't realize at the time. He had internal bleeding in his intenstines, they said his ileum was shredded and destroyed, he has a broken spine in the lumbar area and had pins and a rod placed in his legs, both femurs were broken, one beyond repair. He is clearly in ICU and on a vent. I learned the driver was his best friend, I am destroyed. I wonder what I did wrong, I just don't know how I could go back to the car, I was physically taxed. I don't think the other young man was alive, but I keep playing it again and again wondering what if. Dorchester county sheriff was there, quite a few, highway patrol and of course serveral EMTS showed up and a parole officer that happened upon the scene as we were pulling him from the wreck and she directed me what to do, took my phone and spoke to 911 giving orders. What if the other guy was still alive and I was wrong that he appeared already expired? What if I didn't do everything I could? He burned in his car, it is killing me. I didn't sleep one second last night. My body is tired and I have very sore muscles and my heart aches, but what if I didn't do everything I could? What if he was still alive and I let him stay in the car?
Worse yet, what if someone ran him off the road and I simply just didn't see it?
The highway patrol of course interviewed me and another witness(she actually was there right behind me so saw a little less than I did...but no one in front of us stopped. That area is known for cars moving from one lane to another quite frequently because it is right after a weigh station.
I have PTSD and have had it for 8 years, it affected me, but I am just really upset at what I could have changed.

The passenger says he was asleep so he doesn't know what happened.
Click to expand...

If the driver was engulfed in flames, he was more than likely dead already and unable to be saved. Any effort expended on your part to save him could have possibly resulted in the survivor dying. You have to let it go and understand that you did everything logically and it is the way it should be. One survived, instead of two that didn't.
 
swing_voter said:
Colorado's Good Samaritan Law protects people from legal liability if they act in an emergency situation to give aid to a person who is injured. The law is intended to encourage people to offer emergency aid without being worried about being sued



We all do the best we can.
Click to expand...

We are in South Carolina. This happened in Dorchester county. I'm not as much worried about legal liability as I am just really sad
 
Rest in peace

Bless you, you did everything you could. You made the right decisions, rescued the person you could get to.

Pray for the dead & injured.

Rest up, tend to your burns & muscles, feel better. You answered the call, & did the best you could.

There is no higher praise.
 
ClaraD said:
We are in South Carolina. This happened in Dorchester county. I'm not as much worried about legal liability as I am just really sad
Click to expand...
You may be saddened, but you're a hero. A saddened hero, is still a hero. We need more people like you in the world. I hope you soon get over the emotionality of the event, and move on in whatever way is appropriate for you.
 
Re: Rest in peace

southwest88 said:
Bless you, you did everything you could. You made the right decisions, rescued the person you could get to.

Pray for the dead & injured.

Rest up, tend to your burns & muscles, feel better. You answered the call, & did the best you could.

There is no higher praise.
Click to expand...
No there isn't. Agreed. What she did was a heroic act.
 
Wow.

It's normal to keep going over and over your choices during big events. It's useful in trying to ensure for *future* crisis you can be more "prepared". It's an attempt to learn from crisis. But do not try and use hindsight in the aftermath to judge yourself , that's not fair.

Because in reality, that hero, ClaraD, ran to a burning car and saved a guy, with adrenaline pumping and apparently without much concern for personal safety. Comfort her...she did good. Tears and hugs for her.

I'd probably find a way to distract myself for a day or two, let that rawness fade some....a drink or two if you're not an alcoholic.
 
Mach said:
Wow.

It's normal to keep going over and over your choices during big events. It's useful in trying to ensure for *future* crisis you can be more "prepared". It's an attempt to learn from crisis. But do not try and use hindsight in the aftermath to judge yourself , that's not fair.

Because in reality, that hero, ClaraD, ran to a burning car and saved a guy, with adrenaline pumping and apparently without much concern for personal safety. Comfort her...she did good. Tears and hugs for her.

I'd probably find a way to distract myself for a day or two, let that rawness fade some....a drink or two if you're not an alcoholic.
Click to expand...

Not a alcoholic and strangely enough you are the 3rd person to say take a drink and relax. A sheriff's deputy, my minister(yeah he did) and now you....so maybe a glass of Sangria
 
Parrish said:
Clara, you made that call with what was your best judgement. You saved a life. You acted with courage. I think you probably made the best call if the driver's side was engulfed.

I would urge you to talk to a minister, priest, or a professional counselor. You acted heroically and honorably. Don't beat yourself up.
Click to expand...

I talked to my pastor last night. He only briefly spoke to me, but he said there is a purpose for everything that happens and there is a lesson for all involved including him. I'm not sure what the lesson is, but this young man's grandma said the same thing. The deceased young man turned 29 on Dec 4. This young man turns 29 on December 8th. They had traveled from Jacksonville and were headed to North Carolina to go skiing. I'm not sure why they were on 26 instead of 95, but they were one exit from making it to 95. I have to wonder if he accidentally exited from 95 to 26 and was headed back or if they went to Charleston for a few hours
 
Clara, I agree with the others that you are truly a hero and did all that you could have possibly done in the situation. I admire your courage, many others would not have risked anything to help. You are a good person, very brave and selfless, and I commend you for that. Please be kind to yourself now, don't agonize and keep second guessing your actions, you did all that was possible and you should be good with that. I can't even imagine the emotions you've gone through and are still going through, seek help if need be, I wish you the best....hugs.
 
ClaraD said:
Yesterday, just after lunch I saw a fatal accident. Car veered off the left side of I 26 and hit a tree. They were doing about 70 to 75 when they went off the road. I think he fell asleep, not positive, but I think that happened. The car ignited quickly, it was a Jeep Wrangler 4 door. I think a Renegade or a Sahara. When I first saw it it was just a flash of blue and was obstructed by other traffic, which is heavy and bottlenecked in that area. In fact, I would have sworn it was a van until I was out of my car sprinting towards the wreck. The fire was all around the driver, I would have been burned pretty badly had I tried to get to him(I did receive a few minor burns anyway) and he wasn't awake, leaning over the wheel and fire burning quite intense there. I went for the passenger in a split decision and pulled him out of the car, by the time I was extracting him through the rear door another few people arrived to help to get him out. Someone had a fire extenguisher but the fire was really intense and was catching the woods on fire at this point, so he backed off.
The passenger, has had 3 surgeries in the past 24 hours, I am not a big woman and he was near 200 lbs, which I didn't realize at the time. He had internal bleeding in his intenstines, they said his ileum was shredded and destroyed, he has a broken spine in the lumbar area and had pins and a rod placed in his legs, both femurs were broken, one beyond repair. He is clearly in ICU and on a vent. I learned the driver was his best friend, I am destroyed. I wonder what I did wrong, I just don't know how I could go back to the car, I was physically taxed. I don't think the other young man was alive, but I keep playing it again and again wondering what if. Dorchester county sheriff was there, quite a few, highway patrol and of course serveral EMTS showed up and a parole officer that happened upon the scene as we were pulling him from the wreck and she directed me what to do, took my phone and spoke to 911 giving orders. What if the other guy was still alive and I was wrong that he appeared already expired? What if I didn't do everything I could? He burned in his car, it is killing me. I didn't sleep one second last night. My body is tired and I have very sore muscles and my heart aches, but what if I didn't do everything I could? What if he was still alive and I let him stay in the car?
Worse yet, what if someone ran him off the road and I simply just didn't see it?
The highway patrol of course interviewed me and another witness(she actually was there right behind me so saw a little less than I did...but no one in front of us stopped. That area is known for cars moving from one lane to another quite frequently because it is right after a weigh station.
I have PTSD and have had it for 8 years, it affected me, but I am just really upset at what I could have changed.

The passenger says he was asleep so he doesn't know what happened.
Click to expand...

Sweetie, you saved one life instead of losing two. You made the right choice.

If it gets to be too bad, see your therapist. If you have PTSD, you should already have one.

Good job, sis.
 
ClaraD said:
Yesterday, just after lunch I saw a fatal accident. Car veered off the left side of I 26 and hit a tree. They were doing about 70 to 75 when they went off the road. I think he fell asleep, not positive, but I think that happened. The car ignited quickly, it was a Jeep Wrangler 4 door. I think a Renegade or a Sahara. When I first saw it it was just a flash of blue and was obstructed by other traffic, which is heavy and bottlenecked in that area. In fact, I would have sworn it was a van until I was out of my car sprinting towards the wreck. The fire was all around the driver, I would have been burned pretty badly had I tried to get to him(I did receive a few minor burns anyway) and he wasn't awake, leaning over the wheel and fire burning quite intense there. I went for the passenger in a split decision and pulled him out of the car, by the time I was extracting him through the rear door another few people arrived to help to get him out. Someone had a fire extenguisher but the fire was really intense and was catching the woods on fire at this point, so he backed off.
The passenger, has had 3 surgeries in the past 24 hours, I am not a big woman and he was near 200 lbs, which I didn't realize at the time. He had internal bleeding in his intenstines, they said his ileum was shredded and destroyed, he has a broken spine in the lumbar area and had pins and a rod placed in his legs, both femurs were broken, one beyond repair. He is clearly in ICU and on a vent. I learned the driver was his best friend, I am destroyed. I wonder what I did wrong, I just don't know how I could go back to the car, I was physically taxed. I don't think the other young man was alive, but I keep playing it again and again wondering what if. Dorchester county sheriff was there, quite a few, highway patrol and of course serveral EMTS showed up and a parole officer that happened upon the scene as we were pulling him from the wreck and she directed me what to do, took my phone and spoke to 911 giving orders. What if the other guy was still alive and I was wrong that he appeared already expired? What if I didn't do everything I could? He burned in his car, it is killing me. I didn't sleep one second last night. My body is tired and I have very sore muscles and my heart aches, but what if I didn't do everything I could? What if he was still alive and I let him stay in the car?
Worse yet, what if someone ran him off the road and I simply just didn't see it?
The highway patrol of course interviewed me and another witness(she actually was there right behind me so saw a little less than I did...but no one in front of us stopped. That area is known for cars moving from one lane to another quite frequently because it is right after a weigh station.
I have PTSD and have had it for 8 years, it affected me, but I am just really upset at what I could have changed.

The passenger says he was asleep so he doesn't know what happened.
Click to expand...

Jeezus, you acted heroically to the best of your ability.
If it had been me, I would be very grateful to see you sprinting to my vehicle, and even if not successful, my last dying breath would have sounded something like "Thanks for at least trying."
 
ClaraD said:
We are in South Carolina. This happened in Dorchester county. I'm not as much worried about legal liability as I am just really sad
Click to expand...
And it's perfectly alright to feel that way.
 
ClaraD said:
Not a alcoholic and strangely enough you are the 3rd person to say take a drink and relax. A sheriff's deputy, my minister(yeah he did) and now you....so maybe a glass of Sangria
Click to expand...
Do whatever you need to feel better, just don't over do it, and be sure you're with your husband.

You're in shock and feeling depressed. You went through something traumatic, so that's to be expected.

I know you wish you could have saved the other man, too. That's how a good person thinks. But you're not superhuman, you're a mortal that did everything you could, and somebody will get to have Christmas with their family because of you.
 
ClaraD said:
Yesterday, just after lunch I saw a fatal accident. Car veered off the left side of I 26 and hit a tree. They were doing about 70 to 75 when they went off the road. I think he fell asleep, not positive, but I think that happened. The car ignited quickly, it was a Jeep Wrangler 4 door. I think a Renegade or a Sahara. When I first saw it it was just a flash of blue and was obstructed by other traffic, which is heavy and bottlenecked in that area. In fact, I would have sworn it was a van until I was out of my car sprinting towards the wreck. The fire was all around the driver, I would have been burned pretty badly had I tried to get to him(I did receive a few minor burns anyway) and he wasn't awake, leaning over the wheel and fire burning quite intense there. I went for the passenger in a split decision and pulled him out of the car, by the time I was extracting him through the rear door another few people arrived to help to get him out. Someone had a fire extenguisher but the fire was really intense and was catching the woods on fire at this point, so he backed off.
The passenger, has had 3 surgeries in the past 24 hours, I am not a big woman and he was near 200 lbs, which I didn't realize at the time. He had internal bleeding in his intenstines, they said his ileum was shredded and destroyed, he has a broken spine in the lumbar area and had pins and a rod placed in his legs, both femurs were broken, one beyond repair. He is clearly in ICU and on a vent. I learned the driver was his best friend, I am destroyed. I wonder what I did wrong, I just don't know how I could go back to the car, I was physically taxed. I don't think the other young man was alive, but I keep playing it again and again wondering what if. Dorchester county sheriff was there, quite a few, highway patrol and of course serveral EMTS showed up and a parole officer that happened upon the scene as we were pulling him from the wreck and she directed me what to do, took my phone and spoke to 911 giving orders. What if the other guy was still alive and I was wrong that he appeared already expired? What if I didn't do everything I could? He burned in his car, it is killing me. I didn't sleep one second last night. My body is tired and I have very sore muscles and my heart aches, but what if I didn't do everything I could? What if he was still alive and I let him stay in the car?
Worse yet, what if someone ran him off the road and I simply just didn't see it?
The highway patrol of course interviewed me and another witness(she actually was there right behind me so saw a little less than I did...but no one in front of us stopped. That area is known for cars moving from one lane to another quite frequently because it is right after a weigh station.
I have PTSD and have had it for 8 years, it affected me, but I am just really upset at what I could have changed.

The passenger says he was asleep so he doesn't know what happened.
Click to expand...

I am neither a mental health professional nor a medical professional but I can tell you for sure that questioning whether you did everything you could is normal, at least in the short term. I can also tell you that the fact you did ANYTHING puts you far FAR above what most people would do.

Based on what you said, you evaluated the situation and took immediate action that was most likely to save a life. That doesn't mean that the other life couldn't have been saved but you are one person and can't bee in two places at once so taking the action most likely to succeed is the proper choice.

Dealing with life and death situations isn't supposed to be easy. It's also something we're not going to get 100% right 100% of the time. We are not the ones who get to decide who lives and who dies. We can only control what our response is and, in your case, you went well above and beyond expectations. It's OK to second guess yourself but there is no need to beat yourself up. You did what you could and what you should have done.
 
Clara I think you deserve an award for your heroism and bravery.
I was a news cameraman for years, mostly crash and burn stories like this.
It is seldom that we get to see someone with your kind of courage.
 
ClaraD said:
Yesterday, just after lunch I saw a fatal accident. Car veered off the left side of I 26 and hit a tree. They were doing about 70 to 75 when they went off the road. I think he fell asleep, not positive, but I think that happened. The car ignited quickly, it was a Jeep Wrangler 4 door. I think a Renegade or a Sahara. When I first saw it it was just a flash of blue and was obstructed by other traffic, which is heavy and bottlenecked in that area. In fact, I would have sworn it was a van until I was out of my car sprinting towards the wreck. The fire was all around the driver, I would have been burned pretty badly had I tried to get to him(I did receive a few minor burns anyway) and he wasn't awake, leaning over the wheel and fire burning quite intense there. I went for the passenger in a split decision and pulled him out of the car, by the time I was extracting him through the rear door another few people arrived to help to get him out. Someone had a fire extenguisher but the fire was really intense and was catching the woods on fire at this point, so he backed off.
The passenger, has had 3 surgeries in the past 24 hours, I am not a big woman and he was near 200 lbs, which I didn't realize at the time. He had internal bleeding in his intenstines, they said his ileum was shredded and destroyed, he has a broken spine in the lumbar area and had pins and a rod placed in his legs, both femurs were broken, one beyond repair. He is clearly in ICU and on a vent. I learned the driver was his best friend, I am destroyed. I wonder what I did wrong, I just don't know how I could go back to the car, I was physically taxed. I don't think the other young man was alive, but I keep playing it again and again wondering what if. Dorchester county sheriff was there, quite a few, highway patrol and of course serveral EMTS showed up and a parole officer that happened upon the scene as we were pulling him from the wreck and she directed me what to do, took my phone and spoke to 911 giving orders. What if the other guy was still alive and I was wrong that he appeared already expired? What if I didn't do everything I could? He burned in his car, it is killing me. I didn't sleep one second last night. My body is tired and I have very sore muscles and my heart aches, but what if I didn't do everything I could? What if he was still alive and I let him stay in the car?
Worse yet, what if someone ran him off the road and I simply just didn't see it?
The highway patrol of course interviewed me and another witness(she actually was there right behind me so saw a little less than I did...but no one in front of us stopped. That area is known for cars moving from one lane to another quite frequently because it is right after a weigh station.
I have PTSD and have had it for 8 years, it affected me, but I am just really upset at what I could have changed.

The passenger says he was asleep so he doesn't know what happened.
Click to expand...

You seemed to have done all you could do at the time under the set of circumstances.
Fall asleep at lunch time? Seems rather odd. Maybe the driver had some kind of attack? Heart attack/stroke?
 
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