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Need advice

dairyair said:
You seemed to have done all you could do at the time under the set of circumstances.
Fall asleep at lunch time? Seems rather odd. Maybe the driver had some kind of attack? Heart attack/stroke?
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There is some background there. The man who died had his birthday 2 days before and the other young man celebrates on Dec 8. They were best friends. They had left Jacksonville and the night before were at the company Christmas party until late. They left early to head to North Carolina to go snow skiing. They never made it. None of us know why they weren't on 95 not even the family, unless he got off on the wrong exit accidentally or maybe they went to see Charleston. That track of highway sees fatalities quite often..
 
Parrish said:
Clara, you made that call with what was your best judgement. You saved a life. You acted with courage. I think you probably made the best call if the driver's side was engulfed.

I would urge you to talk to a minister, priest, or a professional counselor. You acted heroically and honorably. Don't beat yourself up.
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Agreed here. It’s normal to second guess ourselves in such situations, but she was using her best judgment. The passenger is lucky to be alive because of her heroic actions.
 
ClaraD said:
There is some background there. The man who died had his birthday 2 days before and the other young man celebrates on Dec 8. They were best friends. They had left Jacksonville and the night before were at the company Christmas party until late. They left early to head to North Carolina to go snow skiing. They never made it. None of us know why they weren't on 95 not even the family, unless he got off on the wrong exit accidentally or maybe they went to see Charleston. That track of highway sees fatalities quite often..
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If they were partying till the small hours they were probably still alcohol impaired when it happened. Not to mention driving tired. You did the best you could, which is much more than all those who drove on by did.
 
Manc Skipper said:
If they were partying till the small hours they were probably still alcohol impaired when it happened. Not to mention driving tired. You did the best you could, which is much more than all those who drove on by did.
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Bank of America doesn't allow alcohol at their parties and they weren't impaired. That's already been determined
 
ClaraD said:
Yesterday, just after lunch I saw a fatal accident. Car veered off the left side of I 26 and hit a tree. They were doing about 70 to 75 when they went off the road. I think he fell asleep, not positive, but I think that happened. The car ignited quickly, it was a Jeep Wrangler 4 door. I think a Renegade or a Sahara. When I first saw it it was just a flash of blue and was obstructed by other traffic, which is heavy and bottlenecked in that area. In fact, I would have sworn it was a van until I was out of my car sprinting towards the wreck. The fire was all around the driver, I would have been burned pretty badly had I tried to get to him(I did receive a few minor burns anyway) and he wasn't awake, leaning over the wheel and fire burning quite intense there. I went for the passenger in a split decision and pulled him out of the car, by the time I was extracting him through the rear door another few people arrived to help to get him out. Someone had a fire extenguisher but the fire was really intense and was catching the woods on fire at this point, so he backed off.
The passenger, has had 3 surgeries in the past 24 hours, I am not a big woman and he was near 200 lbs, which I didn't realize at the time. He had internal bleeding in his intenstines, they said his ileum was shredded and destroyed, he has a broken spine in the lumbar area and had pins and a rod placed in his legs, both femurs were broken, one beyond repair. He is clearly in ICU and on a vent. I learned the driver was his best friend, I am destroyed. I wonder what I did wrong, I just don't know how I could go back to the car, I was physically taxed. I don't think the other young man was alive, but I keep playing it again and again wondering what if. Dorchester county sheriff was there, quite a few, highway patrol and of course serveral EMTS showed up and a parole officer that happened upon the scene as we were pulling him from the wreck and she directed me what to do, took my phone and spoke to 911 giving orders. What if the other guy was still alive and I was wrong that he appeared already expired? What if I didn't do everything I could? He burned in his car, it is killing me. I didn't sleep one second last night. My body is tired and I have very sore muscles and my heart aches, but what if I didn't do everything I could? What if he was still alive and I let him stay in the car?
Worse yet, what if someone ran him off the road and I simply just didn't see it?
The highway patrol of course interviewed me and another witness(she actually was there right behind me so saw a little less than I did...but no one in front of us stopped. That area is known for cars moving from one lane to another quite frequently because it is right after a weigh station.
I have PTSD and have had it for 8 years, it affected me, but I am just really upset at what I could have changed.

The passenger says he was asleep so he doesn't know what happened.
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Nobody will know what the best possible choice was or if a better outcome existed. But I do know this: if I am ever in a similar situation, I hope that I act as you did.
 
How are you doing today, ClaraD? Been thinking about you. Hugs.
 
Lovebug said:
How are you doing today, ClaraD? Been thinking about you. Hugs.
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I am feeling a little better today, more exhausted than anything. I am still pretty sad, but I prayed on the side of the road today where it happened. I prayed for peace and healing for the young man who survived and prayed for the family of the young man who died.
I have learned much since that day. Last night was a tough night for him in the hospital. He has severe damage to the ileum, likely caused by the seat belt and the rapid velocity that he went forward when they hit the tree. He slid backwards a little and they held him today again in ICU, critical care. He may possibly go to a step down unit tomorrow depending on how he does tonight. We didn't think he remembered his friend dying, but he does. He said he woke up just a split second before they hit the tree and he said the Jeep was moving pretty fast at that moment. He remembers his friend expired as the flames popped up and he said he had a knife and tried to cut his friends seat belt off, but I came at that exact moment and while some are not religious here, I am not shy, I cried out in my head, God help me as I tried to free him and pull him out. A man showed up right at that moment when I was terrified and was actually thinking of crawling inside the car and pulling. I thank God for being able to block everything out and focus on what I had to do at that moment.
 
ClaraD said:
I am feeling a little better today, more exhausted than anything. I am still pretty sad, but I prayed on the side of the road today where it happened. I prayed for peace and healing for the young man who survived and prayed for the family of the young man who died.
I have learned much since that day. Last night was a tough night for him in the hospital. He has severe damage to the ileum, likely caused by the seat belt and the rapid velocity that he went forward when they hit the tree. He slid backwards a little and they held him today again in ICU, critical care. He may possibly go to a step down unit tomorrow depending on how he does tonight. We didn't think he remembered his friend dying, but he does. He said he woke up just a split second before they hit the tree and he said the Jeep was moving pretty fast at that moment. He remembers his friend expired as the flames popped up and he said he had a knife and tried to cut his friends seat belt off, but I came at that exact moment and while some are not religious here, I am not shy, I cried out in my head, God help me as I tried to free him and pull him out. A man showed up right at that moment when I was terrified and was actually thinking of crawling inside the car and pulling. I thank God for being able to block everything out and focus on what I had to do at that moment.
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Keep praying, as I will continue praying for you and all involved.
 
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