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I just wanted to pass some stuff along here. Most of it is probably common sense and not exactly a revelation to anyone here but I've found some tips and tricks that work for me so maybe they'll work for someone else too.
Now, when I'm talking "elderly" I'm not talking about just age. I'm talking more about people with mobility issues, cognitive issues and, perhaps, even incontinence issues. I'm also talking about making dining out an enjoyable experience for everyone involved and that includes restaurant staff, the person you're caring for and YOU! We're talking "quality of life" here, not merely convenience or "doing the right thing because I have to".
First, if the person you're taking out has incontinence issues then make sure they use the restroom before you take them out. Common sense, right? Well, sometimes we're in a rush, sometimes they may be anxious to get out and sometimes we just forget. Don't forget!
Second, think "ease of access". If the person you're caring for has mobility problems then don't pick a place where they have to walk 100 yards or go up a flight of stairs. That should be obvious. Also, don't pick a place where tables are packed in or your only option is a booth. Getting in and out of chairs is often easier than getting in and out of a booth. Also, some places have booths that are up on a little bit of a step. This can cause more hassle getting in and out.
Third, go when it isn't busy. You'll have more time to get everyone situated and staff will have more time to attend to things like slow decision making. Basically, it will give staff an opportunity to observe and understand the situation. If this means leaving the office early so you can get to a restaurant before 5 then take that as a win for you too!
Fourth, speaking of slow decision making, if the person you're caring for has cognitive issues then less decisions are better. That doesn't mean going to a place that only offers one thing. It means asking simple, straight forward questions such as "Would you rather have chicken or beef"? When you get that answer just suggest an item from the menu and you're more likely to get an "OK, that sounds good".
Fifth, if the person you're caring for has issues with hand or arm mobility you may need to cut up their food for them. Ask your server to do this in the kitchen or just make room to do it at the table. If the kitchen will do it you're WAY ahead of the game. When possible, suggest stuff that doesn't need to be cut up.
Sixth, go somewhere decent. Don't pick a place just because it meets all the other criteria. Pick a place you'll like too and one that will be comfortable for all involved. Sure, Chez Hoity Toity may not be the best choice but that doesn't mean that you have to go to McDonald's either. Make it a normal dining experience. After all, quality of life doesn't have to mean "compromise".
Seventh, if the person you're caring for has dementia or is prone to wandering off then don't leave them alone on the curb while you park the car. Is that obvious? It should be but, again, I've seen some things!
Eighth and final, get some variety in! Just because one or two places work for this kind of thing don't be afraid to try others. You may be surprised at what you find.
The bottom line to all of this is to make the experience as normal as possible for everyone. Don't make going out to dinner a huge production because that just causes unrealistic expectations, frustration and resentment. If you're caring for a loved one in this condition you likely don't have a ton of time left with them anyway so make it as enjoyable as possible while you can.
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Pro Tip -
Sometimes people with cognitive issues can be rather free with their speech and rather loud in their voice. Learn to smile and change the subject when a topic comes up that may not be appropriate for the time and place. Just sayin'
Now, when I'm talking "elderly" I'm not talking about just age. I'm talking more about people with mobility issues, cognitive issues and, perhaps, even incontinence issues. I'm also talking about making dining out an enjoyable experience for everyone involved and that includes restaurant staff, the person you're caring for and YOU! We're talking "quality of life" here, not merely convenience or "doing the right thing because I have to".
First, if the person you're taking out has incontinence issues then make sure they use the restroom before you take them out. Common sense, right? Well, sometimes we're in a rush, sometimes they may be anxious to get out and sometimes we just forget. Don't forget!
Second, think "ease of access". If the person you're caring for has mobility problems then don't pick a place where they have to walk 100 yards or go up a flight of stairs. That should be obvious. Also, don't pick a place where tables are packed in or your only option is a booth. Getting in and out of chairs is often easier than getting in and out of a booth. Also, some places have booths that are up on a little bit of a step. This can cause more hassle getting in and out.
Third, go when it isn't busy. You'll have more time to get everyone situated and staff will have more time to attend to things like slow decision making. Basically, it will give staff an opportunity to observe and understand the situation. If this means leaving the office early so you can get to a restaurant before 5 then take that as a win for you too!
Fourth, speaking of slow decision making, if the person you're caring for has cognitive issues then less decisions are better. That doesn't mean going to a place that only offers one thing. It means asking simple, straight forward questions such as "Would you rather have chicken or beef"? When you get that answer just suggest an item from the menu and you're more likely to get an "OK, that sounds good".
Fifth, if the person you're caring for has issues with hand or arm mobility you may need to cut up their food for them. Ask your server to do this in the kitchen or just make room to do it at the table. If the kitchen will do it you're WAY ahead of the game. When possible, suggest stuff that doesn't need to be cut up.
Sixth, go somewhere decent. Don't pick a place just because it meets all the other criteria. Pick a place you'll like too and one that will be comfortable for all involved. Sure, Chez Hoity Toity may not be the best choice but that doesn't mean that you have to go to McDonald's either. Make it a normal dining experience. After all, quality of life doesn't have to mean "compromise".
Seventh, if the person you're caring for has dementia or is prone to wandering off then don't leave them alone on the curb while you park the car. Is that obvious? It should be but, again, I've seen some things!
Eighth and final, get some variety in! Just because one or two places work for this kind of thing don't be afraid to try others. You may be surprised at what you find.
The bottom line to all of this is to make the experience as normal as possible for everyone. Don't make going out to dinner a huge production because that just causes unrealistic expectations, frustration and resentment. If you're caring for a loved one in this condition you likely don't have a ton of time left with them anyway so make it as enjoyable as possible while you can.
-------
Pro Tip -
Sometimes people with cognitive issues can be rather free with their speech and rather loud in their voice. Learn to smile and change the subject when a topic comes up that may not be appropriate for the time and place. Just sayin'