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Progress? Mental Breakdown? What am I experiencing Here?

truthatallcost

truthatallcost

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Over the past two weeks I've been experiencing a change that I can't quite figure out. It began when my dad, who is 65, had a health scare, and it looked like he might not make it. Thank God he did pull through and is on the mend now, but it seemed to trigger a mental change in me. I began to go through insomnia, losing a few hours of sleep each night, which progressed to eventually literally not sleeping 3 nights in a row. Not even a brief doze. I had to take time off from work because I couldn't concentrate.
During the worst of the insomnia, I was filled with deep regret for all the people I'd ever harmed in my life, some from this website. Especially the ones I'd said the meanest things to, like Serenity, Chagos, Captain Courtesy,Hatuey, Dianna and Janfu. I apologize for being an asshole at times.

I've come to realize in the past several days that politics isn't that important to me, and is probably a distraction from the real meaning of life, which I'm trying to figure out here.

Damn, I've made myself vulnerable here, which I painstakingly try to avoid, and I realize some of you would be well within your rights to tell me to F off.

What do you think? Any comments are welcome.
 
truthatallcost said:
Over the past two weeks I've been experiencing a change that I can't quite figure out. It began when my dad, who is 65, had a health scare, and it looked like he might not make it. Thank God he did pull through and is on the mend now, but it seemed to trigger a mental change in me. I began to go through insomnia, losing a few hours of sleep each night, which progressed to eventually literally not sleeping 3 nights in a row. Not even a brief doze. I had to take time off from work because I couldn't concentrate.
During the worst of the insomnia, I was filled with deep regret for all the people I'd ever harmed in my life, some from this website. Especially the ones I'd said the meanest things to, like Serenity, Chagos, Captain Courtesy,Hatuey, Dianna and Janfu. I apologize for being an asshole at times.

I've come to realize in the past several days that politics isn't that important to me, and is probably a distraction from the real meaning of life, which I'm trying to figure out here.

Damn, I've made myself vulnerable here, which I painstakingly try to avoid, and I realize some of you would be well within your rights to tell me to F off.

What do you think? Any comments are welcome.
Click to expand...

Even though he made it, you may be mourning.

It has a way of making us re-think our lives.


Good luck on your journey. Pack lightly
 
What about Jews, Muslims and other minority groups?
 
truthatallcost said:
Over the past two weeks I've been experiencing a change that I can't quite figure out. It began when my dad, who is 65, had a health scare, and it looked like he might not make it. Thank God he did pull through and is on the mend now, but it seemed to trigger a mental change in me. I began to go through insomnia, losing a few hours of sleep each night, which progressed to eventually literally not sleeping 3 nights in a row. Not even a brief doze. I had to take time off from work because I couldn't concentrate.
During the worst of the insomnia, I was filled with deep regret for all the people I'd ever harmed in my life, some from this website. Especially the ones I'd said the meanest things to, like Serenity, Chagos, Captain Courtesy,Hatuey, Dianna and Janfu. I apologize for being an asshole at times.

I've come to realize in the past several days that politics isn't that important to me, and is probably a distraction from the real meaning of life, which I'm trying to figure out here.

Damn, I've made myself vulnerable here, which I painstakingly try to avoid, and I realize some of you would be well within your rights to tell me to F off.

What do you think? Any comments are welcome.
Click to expand...

I have no idea what had been going on between you and the people you mentioned but I thought this post was moving.
 
truthatallcost said:
Over the past two weeks I've been experiencing a change that I can't quite figure out. It began when my dad, who is 65, had a health scare, and it looked like he might not make it. Thank God he did pull through and is on the mend now, but it seemed to trigger a mental change in me. I began to go through insomnia, losing a few hours of sleep each night, which progressed to eventually literally not sleeping 3 nights in a row. Not even a brief doze. I had to take time off from work because I couldn't concentrate.
During the worst of the insomnia, I was filled with deep regret for all the people I'd ever harmed in my life, some from this website. Especially the ones I'd said the meanest things to, like Serenity, Chagos, Captain Courtesy,Hatuey, Dianna and Janfu. I apologize for being an asshole at times.

I've come to realize in the past several days that politics isn't that important to me, and is probably a distraction from the real meaning of life, which I'm trying to figure out here.

Damn, I've made myself vulnerable here, which I painstakingly try to avoid, and I realize some of you would be well within your rights to tell me to F off.

What do you think? Any comments are welcome.
Click to expand...

Well, advice from anyone here in no substitute for visiting a physician, for both what you worry are potential psychological issues as well as your physiological issues.

So this is what has worked for me when I have suffered from bouts of insomnia:

First, do not use any electronic visual device within an hour of going to bed. No television, no computers, no looking at your smart phone. The blue light emitted from these devices can affect your restfulness.

Second, do not be in bed until you are ready to go to sleep. If you want to read a book, or watch TV or play video games, do it sitting down and not laying down while in bed.

Doing that has helped me get past insomnia.

Also, being kind, loving and caring to everyone close to you, being forgiving to those you disagree with, and being honest and decent to everyone in your life helps weather many storms.
 
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truthatallcost said:
I've come to realize in the past several days that politics isn't that important to me, and is probably a distraction from the real meaning of life, which I'm trying to figure out here.
Click to expand...

It isn’t the meaning of life you're trying to figure out.
It’s the meaning of death.
 
Maybe you finally grew up? Only time will tell. Wishing the best for your dad and you, as well.
 
truthatallcost said:
Over the past two weeks I've been experiencing a change that I can't quite figure out. It began when my dad, who is 65, had a health scare, and it looked like he might not make it. Thank God he did pull through and is on the mend now, but it seemed to trigger a mental change in me. I began to go through insomnia, losing a few hours of sleep each night, which progressed to eventually literally not sleeping 3 nights in a row. Not even a brief doze. I had to take time off from work because I couldn't concentrate.
During the worst of the insomnia, I was filled with deep regret for all the people I'd ever harmed in my life, some from this website. Especially the ones I'd said the meanest things to, like Serenity, Chagos, Captain Courtesy,Hatuey, Dianna and Janfu. I apologize for being an asshole at times.

I've come to realize in the past several days that politics isn't that important to me, and is probably a distraction from the real meaning of life, which I'm trying to figure out here.

Damn, I've made myself vulnerable here, which I painstakingly try to avoid, and I realize some of you would be well within your rights to tell me to F off.

What do you think? Any comments are welcome.
Click to expand...

Wow. That's quite a large injection of uncertainty and obviously heart felt concern.

Thank goodness that you Dad's on the mend. I wish him well, and the best possible progress to full recovery.

Some are advising to seek out a physician, I think this wise. Apparently this isn't your normal routine, and you may need some help to restore that.

In that I also wish you well, and the best.

Hang in there.
 
truthatallcost said:
Over the past two weeks I've been experiencing a change that I can't quite figure out. It began when my dad, who is 65, had a health scare, and it looked like he might not make it. Thank God he did pull through and is on the mend now, but it seemed to trigger a mental change in me. I began to go through insomnia, losing a few hours of sleep each night, which progressed to eventually literally not sleeping 3 nights in a row. Not even a brief doze. I had to take time off from work because I couldn't concentrate.
During the worst of the insomnia, I was filled with deep regret for all the people I'd ever harmed in my life, some from this website. Especially the ones I'd said the meanest things to, like Serenity, Chagos, Captain Courtesy,Hatuey, Dianna and Janfu. I apologize for being an asshole at times.

I've come to realize in the past several days that politics isn't that important to me, and is probably a distraction from the real meaning of life, which I'm trying to figure out here.

Damn, I've made myself vulnerable here, which I painstakingly try to avoid, and I realize some of you would be well within your rights to tell me to F off.

What do you think? Any comments are welcome.
Click to expand...

I recently had a recent bad (possibly terminal) medical diagnosis, and would like to tell you my thoughts.

I think your father's expereince has caused you to reexamine your own fragility of life.

You are getting your priorities straight.
You are leaning what is important in your life and what is a mere distraction from it.

Follow your heart. It will lead you the right direction.
If it does not feel right to say or do, then it is not.

You will also find you are taking joy in the small things you see around you.
The small miracles others walk right past.

Once you are gone, all people will have is memories of you.
make sure their memories are pleasant.
This you have control over.
 
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truthatallcost said:
Over the past two weeks I've been experiencing a change that I can't quite figure out. It began when my dad, who is 65, had a health scare, and it looked like he might not make it. Thank God he did pull through and is on the mend now, but it seemed to trigger a mental change in me. I began to go through insomnia, losing a few hours of sleep each night, which progressed to eventually literally not sleeping 3 nights in a row. Not even a brief doze. I had to take time off from work because I couldn't concentrate.
During the worst of the insomnia, I was filled with deep regret for all the people I'd ever harmed in my life, some from this website. Especially the ones I'd said the meanest things to, like Serenity, Chagos, Captain Courtesy,Hatuey, Dianna and Janfu. I apologize for being an asshole at times.

I've come to realize in the past several days that politics isn't that important to me, and is probably a distraction from the real meaning of life, which I'm trying to figure out here.

Damn, I've made myself vulnerable here, which I painstakingly try to avoid, and I realize some of you would be well within your rights to tell me to F off.

What do you think? Any comments are welcome.
Click to expand...

Feel some Love TAAC! You and me... in spite of the large chasm that separates us ideologically, we generally make each other laugh.

It probably comes as no surprise to you that I have mentored a few people in life. I like to say "Stay on task. Take Life in stride. You know I Love you. May our Best Times lie ahead!"

May you embrace Grace, Honor, Humor and Love. Let Love reign Supreme! Don't take Life too serious. No one gets out alive! I turn 62 on September 6th... just a few years younger than your Pops. I still got mine (84 years old). Peace to you and yours!
 
truthatallcost said:
Over the past two weeks I've been experiencing a change that I can't quite figure out. It began when my dad, who is 65, had a health scare, and it looked like he might not make it. Thank God he did pull through and is on the mend now, but it seemed to trigger a mental change in me. I began to go through insomnia, losing a few hours of sleep each night, which progressed to eventually literally not sleeping 3 nights in a row. Not even a brief doze. I had to take time off from work because I couldn't concentrate.
During the worst of the insomnia, I was filled with deep regret for all the people I'd ever harmed in my life, some from this website. Especially the ones I'd said the meanest things to, like Serenity, Chagos, Captain Courtesy,Hatuey, Dianna and Janfu. I apologize for being an asshole at times.

I've come to realize in the past several days that politics isn't that important to me, and is probably a distraction from the real meaning of life, which I'm trying to figure out here.

Damn, I've made myself vulnerable here, which I painstakingly try to avoid, and I realize some of you would be well within your rights to tell me to F off.

What do you think? Any comments are welcome.
Click to expand...

Parents either dying or almost often triggers profound change.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE
 
For insomnia, I believe there are over-the-counter medications for that. But I think the OP's situation has a psychological component to it so it probably won't be alleviated by a medicine.
 
truthatallcost said:
Over the past two weeks I've been experiencing a change that I can't quite figure out. It began when my dad, who is 65, had a health scare, and it looked like he might not make it. Thank God he did pull through and is on the mend now, but it seemed to trigger a mental change in me. I began to go through insomnia, losing a few hours of sleep each night, which progressed to eventually literally not sleeping 3 nights in a row. Not even a brief doze. I had to take time off from work because I couldn't concentrate.
During the worst of the insomnia, I was filled with deep regret for all the people I'd ever harmed in my life, some from this website. Especially the ones I'd said the meanest things to, like Serenity, Chagos, Captain Courtesy,Hatuey, Dianna and Janfu. I apologize for being an asshole at times.

I've come to realize in the past several days that politics isn't that important to me, and is probably a distraction from the real meaning of life, which I'm trying to figure out here.

Damn, I've made myself vulnerable here, which I painstakingly try to avoid, and I realize some of you would be well within your rights to tell me to F off.

What do you think? Any comments are welcome.
Click to expand...

Try not to take life too seriously, your never gonna get out alive.

Don't feel bad about being honest to others about your strong feelings, worthy folks think less of you if you gave them anything less.

When you lose those who matter, remember, that as long as you keep them alive, they never die. Your candor, is their candor, your wisdom, theirs. They made you, and you make them immortal, by passing the best of them on.
 
truthatallcost said:
Over the past two weeks I've been experiencing a change that I can't quite figure out. It began when my dad, who is 65, had a health scare, and it looked like he might not make it. Thank God he did pull through and is on the mend now, but it seemed to trigger a mental change in me. I began to go through insomnia, losing a few hours of sleep each night, which progressed to eventually literally not sleeping 3 nights in a row. Not even a brief doze. I had to take time off from work because I couldn't concentrate.
During the worst of the insomnia, I was filled with deep regret for all the people I'd ever harmed in my life, some from this website. Especially the ones I'd said the meanest things to, like Serenity, Chagos, Captain Courtesy,Hatuey, Dianna and Janfu. I apologize for being an asshole at times.

I've come to realize in the past several days that politics isn't that important to me, and is probably a distraction from the real meaning of life, which I'm trying to figure out here.

Damn, I've made myself vulnerable here, which I painstakingly try to avoid, and I realize some of you would be well within your rights to tell me to F off.

What do you think? Any comments are welcome.
Click to expand...

With a post like this, I really hope you're behing honest. If so, there's help out there if you need it. Don't be afraid to seek it out, even if you don't get the answers you wanted. Especially if you don't get the answers you wanted.
 
Felis Leo said:
Well, advice from anyone here in no substitute for visiting a physician, for both what you worry are potential psychological issues as well as your physiological issues.

So this is what has worked for me when I have suffered from bouts of insomnia:

First, do not use any electronic visual device within an hour of going to bed. No television, no computers, no looking at your smart phone. The blue light emitted from these devices can affect your restfulness.

Second, do not be in bed until you are ready to go to sleep. If you want to read a book, or watch TV or play video games, do it sitting down and not laying down while in bed.

Doing that has helped me get past insomnia.
Click to expand...

That's where I messed up, I was used to reading from my phone in bed right before going to sleep. I just took it for granted that I'd still be able to nod off.

Also, being kind, loving and caring to everyone close to you, being forgiving to those you disagree with, and being honest and decent to everyone in your life helps weather many storms.
Click to expand...

Words of wisdom Felis Leo. I'm going to need to learn how to do those things, as I admit I'm incapable of doing them.
 
truthatallcost said:
I'm sorry I spent so much energy opposing them, for the sake of the millions of good people who are Jewish and Muslim.
Click to expand...

I'll believe it when I see it. No rush. There'll be someone doing it when you have time and happen to pay attention to the forum for awhile, and we'll see.
 
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eohrnberger said:
Wow. That's quite a large injection of uncertainty and obviously heart felt concern.

Thank goodness that you Dad's on the mend. I wish him well, and the best possible progress to full recovery.

Some are advising to seek out a physician, I think this wise. Apparently this isn't your normal routine, and you may need some help to restore that.

In that I also wish you well, and the best.

Hang in there.
Click to expand...

Thank you so much! God bless you and your family.
 
PleasantValley said:
I recently had a recent bad (possibly terminal) medical diagnosis, and would like to tell you my thoughts.
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear that, I hope your situation isn't terminal. Wow, it really puts things into perspective to hear what others are going through.

I think your father's expereince has caused you to reexamine your own fragility of life.

You are getting your priorities straight.
You are leaning what is important in your life and what is a mere distraction from it.

Follow your heart. It will lead you the right direction.
If it does not feel right to say or do, then it is not.

You will also find you are taking joy in the small things you see around you.
The small miracles others walk right past.

Once you are gone, all people will have is memories of you.
make sure their memories are pleasant.
This you have control over.
Click to expand...

Powerful words....thank you so much for offering this wisdom.
 
Trippy Trekker said:
Feel some Love TAAC! You and me... in spite of the large chasm that separates us ideologically, we generally make each other laugh.

It probably comes as no surprise to you that I have mentored a few people in life. I like to say "Stay on task. Take Life in stride. You know I Love you. May our Best Times lie ahead!"

May you embrace Grace, Honor, Humor and Love. Let Love reign Supreme! Don't take Life too serious. No one gets out alive! I turn 62 on September 6th... just a few years younger than your Pops. I still got mine (84 years old). Peace to you and yours!
Click to expand...

Thanks for the beyond kind words Trippy! I never expected such an outpouring of kindness, since I haven't been one to give it freely. Your comment is a mega dose of positive energy, God bless you and your family!
 
Phys251 said:
With a post like this, I really hope you're behing honest. If so, there's help out there if you need it. Don't be afraid to seek it out, even if you don't get the answers you wanted. Especially if you don't get the answers you wanted.
Click to expand...

I'm being sincere here, I think I'm done with politics. It brings out the worst in me I think. I need to concentrate on doing something positive, hopefully helping other people in some way. I used to hope I'd get banned from here, just so I wouldn't fall into the same temptation of using this forum as a platform to vent onto others, as I knew it wasn't right even then.
 
truthatallcost said:
Over the past two weeks I've been experiencing a change that I can't quite figure out. It began when my dad, who is 65, had a health scare, and it looked like he might not make it. Thank God he did pull through and is on the mend now, but it seemed to trigger a mental change in me. I began to go through insomnia, losing a few hours of sleep each night, which progressed to eventually literally not sleeping 3 nights in a row. Not even a brief doze. I had to take time off from work because I couldn't concentrate.
During the worst of the insomnia, I was filled with deep regret for all the people I'd ever harmed in my life, some from this website. Especially the ones I'd said the meanest things to, like Serenity, Chagos, Captain Courtesy,Hatuey, Dianna and Janfu. I apologize for being an asshole at times.

I've come to realize in the past several days that politics isn't that important to me, and is probably a distraction from the real meaning of life, which I'm trying to figure out here.

Damn, I've made myself vulnerable here, which I painstakingly try to avoid, and I realize some of you would be well within your rights to tell me to F off.

What do you think? Any comments are welcome.
Click to expand...

Any comments? Ok, then, I’m highly skeptical.
 
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