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"Suck It Up"

CMPancake

CMPancake

No gods, no masters.
DP Veteran
Joined
Oct 13, 2014
Messages
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Location
Tacoma
Gender
Male
Political Leaning
Socialist
BLUF: I had thoughts of self-harm, I finally got help after having no other choice but to inform my CoC that BH turned me away due to the hospital having their annual inspections. After going to the emergency room because I had enough self-awareness to take care of myself I was finally admitted to a three day ward. I am in an infinitely better place now and finally receiving treatment for my issues instead of being turned away.

The long story is pretty long, one day at work, work related stress finally broke me. While there was something stressful that triggered a full on breakdown, it was that on top of a bunch of my own personal issues I wasn't handling that lead me down a deep, dark hole. At the time, I didn't want to live anymore, and I didn't want to cause anymore suffering for myself or other people. Not my ex-fiance, not my strained family, and most certainly not anyone that has to work with me. Thankfully, I had a friend who with their shiny pair of brass balls quite literally saved my life and took me with them to Behavioral Health. However my trip there to a walk-in was at a bad time for the 13th floor, they were having annual inspections, and my plan for self harm was alcohol related. I was given an ASAP important and was told quite nicely to "Suck It Up." My friend who had taken me there had none of it, and at that point we went to my Chain of Command, where they raised all hell and got me in to finally take care of me. All it took was an entire day.

The reason why I'm sharing this as a big ole' post is because I want people to know that mental health plays such a massive role on your overall health than what most poeple realize, and that getting that help for your mental health is a hill worth dying on. Now getting talk therapy, and medication I have more energy, I sleep better, and I'm even performing better in physical activities with more self-confidence and self-esteem. On top of it, going to Behavioral Health, I am still with a security clearance, and have been working on mission with healthier methods to cope with stress.

Look out for one another, and take care of one another. I probably wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for just one friend and a Chain of Command that fought tooth and nail for me. Don't let what happened to me happen to you, or anyone you work with.
 
CMPancake said:
BLUF: I had thoughts of self-harm, I finally got help after having no other choice but to inform my CoC that BH turned me away due to the hospital having their annual inspections. After going to the emergency room because I had enough self-awareness to take care of myself I was finally admitted to a three day ward. I am in an infinitely better place now and finally receiving treatment for my issues instead of being turned away.

The long story is pretty long, one day at work, work related stress finally broke me. While there was something stressful that triggered a full on breakdown, it was that on top of a bunch of my own personal issues I wasn't handling that lead me down a deep, dark hole. At the time, I didn't want to live anymore, and I didn't want to cause anymore suffering for myself or other people. Not my ex-fiance, not my strained family, and most certainly not anyone that has to work with me. Thankfully, I had a friend who with their shiny pair of brass balls quite literally saved my life and took me with them to Behavioral Health. However my trip there to a walk-in was at a bad time for the 13th floor, they were having annual inspections, and my plan for self harm was alcohol related. I was given an ASAP important and was told quite nicely to "Suck It Up." My friend who had taken me there had none of it, and at that point we went to my Chain of Command, where they raised all hell and got me in to finally take care of me. All it took was an entire day.

The reason why I'm sharing this as a big ole' post is because I want people to know that mental health plays such a massive role on your overall health than what most poeple realize, and that getting that help for your mental health is a hill worth dying on. Now getting talk therapy, and medication I have more energy, I sleep better, and I'm even performing better in physical activities with more self-confidence and self-esteem. On top of it, going to Behavioral Health, I am still with a security clearance, and have been working on mission with healthier methods to cope with stress.

Look out for one another, and take care of one another. I probably wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for just one friend and a Chain of Command that fought tooth and nail for me. Don't let what happened to me happen to you, or anyone you work with.
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you are a very strong person for sharing. ive been working 16-17 hour days for 25 years to try and get my boy into college. i failed. he joined the army and is doing quite well. ive been in the dark and its horrible.

everyone has demons some people just dont understand that some are worse than others. thank you for your service and we as a nation owe you greatly.
 
Sincerely glad you’ve found something that’s working for you.
 
I'm so sorry to hear you've been suffering with these problems, and vastly relieved that you had a friend ready to support you through that difficult time. Thank you for having the courage to share your story. *hugs*
 
CMPancake said:
BLUF: I had thoughts of self-harm, I finally got help after having no other choice but to inform my CoC that BH turned me away due to the hospital having their annual inspections. After going to the emergency room because I had enough self-awareness to take care of myself I was finally admitted to a three day ward. I am in an infinitely better place now and finally receiving treatment for my issues instead of being turned away.

The long story is pretty long, one day at work, work related stress finally broke me. While there was something stressful that triggered a full on breakdown, it was that on top of a bunch of my own personal issues I wasn't handling that lead me down a deep, dark hole. At the time, I didn't want to live anymore, and I didn't want to cause anymore suffering for myself or other people. Not my ex-fiance, not my strained family, and most certainly not anyone that has to work with me. Thankfully, I had a friend who with their shiny pair of brass balls quite literally saved my life and took me with them to Behavioral Health. However my trip there to a walk-in was at a bad time for the 13th floor, they were having annual inspections, and my plan for self harm was alcohol related. I was given an ASAP important and was told quite nicely to "Suck It Up." My friend who had taken me there had none of it, and at that point we went to my Chain of Command, where they raised all hell and got me in to finally take care of me. All it took was an entire day.

The reason why I'm sharing this as a big ole' post is because I want people to know that mental health plays such a massive role on your overall health than what most poeple realize, and that getting that help for your mental health is a hill worth dying on. Now getting talk therapy, and medication I have more energy, I sleep better, and I'm even performing better in physical activities with more self-confidence and self-esteem. On top of it, going to Behavioral Health, I am still with a security clearance, and have been working on mission with healthier methods to cope with stress.

Look out for one another, and take care of one another. I probably wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for just one friend and a Chain of Command that fought tooth and nail for me. Don't let what happened to me happen to you, or anyone you work with.
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It is good you got help, though I can not say I understand where you are coming from, I worked in the motorpool while deployed, got busted down in rank with extra duty sometimes working 5 in the morning til midnight, sometimes extra duty that night was waived because I was working til 3 in the morning in the motorpool sometimes even 24 hour ops, working 24 hours straight getting about 8 hours sleep then back to 24 hours, the motor sergeant would coordinate work schedules to keep a constant workflow but we did not do this constantly over in afghanistan, rather only when it was mission essential for things like fuelers to keep the minimum number going, I was in aviation unit and if fuelers are broke, helicopters can't fly which means no medevacs etc, so at times it became critical to ensure x amount were up at all times, even if it meant working rediculous hours.


I however easily coped with it, for me the motor pool ecp and even extra duty I turned into a game, life is stressfull unless you have fun with what you do, though the fun at ecp was much less intense as I had to remain alert incase someone tried to come through with an ied rigged truck or try and drive through the old soviet minefeild to avoid showing their id card(that happened daily until the sergeant major told us to take the wire sown and if they are that stupid to drive through an uncleared minefield to avoid pulling out their id card they deserve to go boom). But to the point I never got too stressed out, I just made every situation more fun, however not everyone copes the same, and not every can just have two scoops of hooah in the morning and move on like I could.
 
CMPancake said:
BLUF: I had thoughts of self-harm, I finally got help after having no other choice but to inform my CoC that BH turned me away due to the hospital having their annual inspections. After going to the emergency room because I had enough self-awareness to take care of myself I was finally admitted to a three day ward. I am in an infinitely better place now and finally receiving treatment for my issues instead of being turned away.

The long story is pretty long, one day at work, work related stress finally broke me. While there was something stressful that triggered a full on breakdown, it was that on top of a bunch of my own personal issues I wasn't handling that lead me down a deep, dark hole. At the time, I didn't want to live anymore, and I didn't want to cause anymore suffering for myself or other people. Not my ex-fiance, not my strained family, and most certainly not anyone that has to work with me. Thankfully, I had a friend who with their shiny pair of brass balls quite literally saved my life and took me with them to Behavioral Health. However my trip there to a walk-in was at a bad time for the 13th floor, they were having annual inspections, and my plan for self harm was alcohol related. I was given an ASAP important and was told quite nicely to "Suck It Up." My friend who had taken me there had none of it, and at that point we went to my Chain of Command, where they raised all hell and got me in to finally take care of me. All it took was an entire day.

The reason why I'm sharing this as a big ole' post is because I want people to know that mental health plays such a massive role on your overall health than what most poeple realize, and that getting that help for your mental health is a hill worth dying on. Now getting talk therapy, and medication I have more energy, I sleep better, and I'm even performing better in physical activities with more self-confidence and self-esteem. On top of it, going to Behavioral Health, I am still with a security clearance, and have been working on mission with healthier methods to cope with stress.

Look out for one another, and take care of one another. I probably wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for just one friend and a Chain of Command that fought tooth and nail for me. Don't let what happened to me happen to you, or anyone you work with.
Click to expand...

Glad to see you're getting the help you need man. I was in BH for a week back in January because all this bull**** at the Great Place finally got to me. Helped a lot and am doing better because of it. Don't be afraid to open up about these problems to those that are willing to listen.
 
A very brave post. Good thoughts going your way, Pancake.
 
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