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Modern Phone Etiquette

Lutherf

Lutherf

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So you call someone's cell and they don't answer. The reason for your call is just casual or not particularly important. Say, for example, you just want to know if they would like to meet for lunch tomorrow. It's just past lunch time today so you've got roughly a whole day to sort this out.

Anyway, you call and they don't answer so you leave a voice message. 5 minutes go by and they still haven't called back so you immediately try their work number, send a text and call the cell again. Is that really necessary? Is it so damned important that you answer your phone right ****ing now that all this stuff is necessary?

I mean, I have clients answering their phone while we're meeting. It's just kind of normal these days. I even find myself answering my office phone is my secretary has stepped out even when I have a client. I apologize but I do it anyway.

Anyway, if I get a call and either don't recognize the number or know from who's calling that it's not important I don't answer. If I'm in a meeting I turn the phone off. Am I just being a cranky old fart in all this or am I missing a change in etiquette?
 
I move that we, as people, stop letting the phone ring a dozen times. In the old days, missing a phone call would leave one wondering who called. In today's world, we know who called. Please, don't give me 2 minutes to get to the phone; I'm probably not answering because I'm busy at the moment and I'll check my phone to see who called and can then call back.

Let the phone ring once or twice. Anything more is just annoying and unnecessary.

Get off my lawn.
 
I'd be annoyed if anyone called to just ask if I want to go out for lunch - just text me.

I'd be SUPER annoyed if anyone continued to call me and leave messages.

I remember back in the days of instant messaging, I had a friend who would type "Hi!" and when I wouldn't answer right away because I wasn't at my computer or I was busy, he would keep typing things like "Are you there?" "Hello?" "Hello????????" Ugh.
 
Lutherf said:
So you call someone's cell and they don't answer. The reason for your call is just casual or not particularly important. Say, for example, you just want to know if they would like to meet for lunch tomorrow. It's just past lunch time today so you've got roughly a whole day to sort this out.

Anyway, you call and they don't answer so you leave a voice message. 5 minutes go by and they still haven't called back so you immediately try their work number, send a text and call the cell again. Is that really necessary? Is it so damned important that you answer your phone right ****ing now that all this stuff is necessary?

I mean, I have clients answering their phone while we're meeting. It's just kind of normal these days. I even find myself answering my office phone is my secretary has stepped out even when I have a client. I apologize but I do it anyway.

Anyway, if I get a call and either don't recognize the number or know from who's calling that it's not important I don't answer. If I'm in a meeting I turn the phone off. Am I just being a cranky old fart in all this or am I missing a change in etiquette?
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Work: I call the cell. If no answer, I hang up and send a text. I never leave a v/m unless it's a long winded affair and I do not need an answer right away.

Private: I call the cell. If no answer, I leave a voice mail and wait for a response.
 
Lutherf said:
So you call someone's cell and they don't answer. The reason for your call is just casual or not particularly important. Say, for example, you just want to know if they would like to meet for lunch tomorrow. It's just past lunch time today so you've got roughly a whole day to sort this out.

Anyway, you call and they don't answer so you leave a voice message. 5 minutes go by and they still haven't called back so you immediately try their work number, send a text and call the cell again. Is that really necessary? Is it so damned important that you answer your phone right ****ing now that all this stuff is necessary?

I mean, I have clients answering their phone while we're meeting. It's just kind of normal these days. I even find myself answering my office phone is my secretary has stepped out even when I have a client. I apologize but I do it anyway.

Anyway, if I get a call and either don't recognize the number or know from who's calling that it's not important I don't answer. If I'm in a meeting I turn the phone off. Am I just being a cranky old fart in all this or am I missing a change in etiquette?
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I'm with Josie. I'd be annoyed before we even got as far as the repetitive calls.

The entire idea of a phone call is already sort of a rude concept. We only put up with it because that was our only choice. Now, we have texting as a much less intrusive and obnoxious alternative when you want to ask an unimportant, 6-word question, such as, "Do you want to get lunch?"

Don't call me at all for stuff like that. It's annoying. Phone calls are for things that are urgent, complex, or business-related.

To my mind, that's the modern phone etiquette.

Yes, some people also have some degree of expectation you respond quickly as well. But what you describe is definitely overkill and annoying.
 
Depends on who I'm communicating with. People have different standards. I'm sort of in that middle generation between the old way and the new way. My older friends don't text that well and they prefer to talk by phone. The younger generation is anti-social and doesn't like to use their voice, so I just text.

Personally I prefer texts for short, trivial things or for sending reminders. For anything more I prefer voice conversations.
 
I can see a age difference in this thread. Me being on the older side. People wanting text messages vs. an actual voice conversation. People wanting instant replies to voice messages or text rather than just letting it slide till the person contacts you or you have time to call them back.

Glad I don't have a smart phone. My old flip phone does just fine. I can make phone calls or leave a voice message. If the person doesn't call back, oh well. I just move on.

What ever happened to personal contact and communication?
 
mike2810 said:
I can see a age difference in this thread. Me being on the older side. People wanting text messages vs. an actual voice conversation. People wanting instant replies to voice messages or text rather than just letting it slide till the person contacts you or you have time to call them back.

Glad I don't have a smart phone. My old flip phone does just fine. I can make phone calls or leave a voice message. If the person doesn't call back, oh well. I just move on.

What ever happened to personal contact and communication?
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All of it is person contact and communication.
 
Josie said:
All of it is person contact and communication.
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You see it that way. I don't. Hence the age difference I stated. For me personal contact is voice or eye to eye contact. Not some text, not some tweet.

but hey, each to their own.
 
mike2810 said:
You see it that way. I don't. Hence the age difference I stated. For me personal contact is voice or eye to eye contact. Not some text, not some tweet.

but hey, each to their own.
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Back in the day, months-old letters were considered to be more personal than the new-fangled telephone. :)
 
mike2810 said:
I can see a age difference in this thread. Me being on the older side. People wanting text messages vs. an actual voice conversation. People wanting instant replies to voice messages or text rather than just letting it slide till the person contacts you or you have time to call them back.

Glad I don't have a smart phone. My old flip phone does just fine. I can make phone calls or leave a voice message. If the person doesn't call back, oh well. I just move on.

What ever happened to personal contact and communication?
Click to expand...

That's the one. If they can't be bothered to talk to me, **** 'em.
 
Lutherf said:
So you call someone's cell and they don't answer. The reason for your call is just casual or not particularly important. Say, for example, you just want to know if they would like to meet for lunch tomorrow. It's just past lunch time today so you've got roughly a whole day to sort this out.

Anyway, you call and they don't answer so you leave a voice message. 5 minutes go by and they still haven't called back so you immediately try their work number, send a text and call the cell again. Is that really necessary? Is it so damned important that you answer your phone right ****ing now that all this stuff is necessary?

I mean, I have clients answering their phone while we're meeting. It's just kind of normal these days. I even find myself answering my office phone is my secretary has stepped out even when I have a client. I apologize but I do it anyway.

Anyway, if I get a call and either don't recognize the number or know from who's calling that it's not important I don't answer. If I'm in a meeting I turn the phone off. Am I just being a cranky old fart in all this or am I missing a change in etiquette?
Click to expand...

Answer to the bolded, no. That's just overbearing and intrusive. A person has no idea what the person they are calling, on a cell phone, is up to.

That's a person I don't want to go to lunch with.

And I don't think this is a modern concept. If this occurred back in the day with landlines and all, I'd feel the same way.
 
Lutherf said:
So you call someone's cell and they don't answer. The reason for your call is just casual or not particularly important. Say, for example, you just want to know if they would like to meet for lunch tomorrow. It's just past lunch time today so you've got roughly a whole day to sort this out.

Anyway, you call and they don't answer so you leave a voice message. 5 minutes go by and they still haven't called back so you immediately try their work number, send a text and call the cell again. Is that really necessary? Is it so damned important that you answer your phone right ****ing now that all this stuff is necessary?

I mean, I have clients answering their phone while we're meeting. It's just kind of normal these days. I even find myself answering my office phone is my secretary has stepped out even when I have a client. I apologize but I do it anyway.

Anyway, if I get a call and either don't recognize the number or know from who's calling that it's not important I don't answer. If I'm in a meeting I turn the phone off. Am I just being a cranky old fart in all this or am I missing a change in etiquette?
Click to expand...

One of the top-10 interview don'ts is texting during your interview or taking a call. Astonishing that folks have to be told this.

I am able to walk into a building without a phone embedded in my hand. I can also eat out without the phone on the table and while talking with my dining partner(s) at the same time.

Ha, phones are the tool of the devil! They enslave you! Train you to salivate at the sound of a bell! They exist only so that other people can bug you!

I had an answering machine in 1979. :twisted:
 
Texts??

Lawn, off it!
 
Lutherf said:
So you call someone's cell and they don't answer. The reason for your call is just casual or not particularly important. Say, for example, you just want to know if they would like to meet for lunch tomorrow. It's just past lunch time today so you've got roughly a whole day to sort this out.

Anyway, you call and they don't answer so you leave a voice message. 5 minutes go by and they still haven't called back so you immediately try their work number, send a text and call the cell again. Is that really necessary? Is it so damned important that you answer your phone right ****ing now that all this stuff is necessary?

I mean, I have clients answering their phone while we're meeting. It's just kind of normal these days. I even find myself answering my office phone is my secretary has stepped out even when I have a client. I apologize but I do it anyway.

Anyway, if I get a call and either don't recognize the number or know from who's calling that it's not important I don't answer. If I'm in a meeting I turn the phone off. Am I just being a cranky old fart in all this or am I missing a change in etiquette?
Click to expand...

If they're 35 or under, when in doubt, text. Lol

Actual calls should be reserved for more official business, or used as a last resort if you can't get their attention otherwise. Frankly, even that's risky.
 
I'm under 35.. Perhaps it's a cultural thing but people here wouldn't generally get annoyed if someone called to ask them to have lunch. Much easier than texting back and forth to sort out time, place, etc and it's much more personal than just a text. I don't give out my phone number to people I don't want to talk to talk to or keep in touch with either.
 
Perhaps it is just me, but outside of preferring to hear someone's voice, I really don't care either way. Most of the time, I find these social rules we "create" silly.
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
I'm with Josie. I'd be annoyed before we even got as far as the repetitive calls.

The entire idea of a phone call is already sort of a rude concept. We only put up with it because that was our only choice. Now, we have texting as a much less intrusive and obnoxious alternative when you want to ask an unimportant, 6-word question, such as, "Do you want to get lunch?"

Don't call me at all for stuff like that. It's annoying. Phone calls are for things that are urgent, complex, or business-related.

To my mind, that's the modern phone etiquette.

Yes, some people also have some degree of expectation you respond quickly as well. But what you describe is definitely overkill and annoying.
Click to expand...

It seems that a few people had this answer and, frankly, it's not something I had considered. My first thought is always "phone call". It's just something that's kind of been baked in over the past 50 years. If I don't get an answer or get their voice mail I then text. That's where it stops. Unless it's a house on fire emergency I don't try any other contact.

One other thing, when people do call they rarely ask "do you have a minute?" any more. They generally just start rolling along with whatever they have to say and don't even think that maybe you're on the way out the door or in line at the bank or whatever.
 
Fiddytree said:
Perhaps it is just me, but outside of preferring to hear someone's voice, I really don't care either way. Most of the time, I find these social rules we "create" silly.
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It's not so much the call or the text or whatever. It's the idea that if I don't answer immediately then I'm ignoring them or blowing them off or something. That's what drives me nuts. Well, that and group texts.
 
Lutherf said:
It's not so much the call or the text or whatever. It's the idea that if I don't answer immediately then I'm ignoring them or blowing them off or something. That's what drives me nuts. Well, that and group texts.
Click to expand...

If people think you're aloof, they tend to not bother you with such trivialities.
 
Fiddytree said:
If people think you're aloof, they tend to not bother you with such trivialities.
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Nobody who has ever met me thinks I'm aloof. That may be part of my problem.:lol:
 
Lutherf said:
It's not so much the call or the text or whatever. It's the idea that if I don't answer immediately then I'm ignoring them or blowing them off or something. That's what drives me nuts. Well, that and group texts.
Click to expand...

Hmmm, where does this sense of urgency--this immediacy--come from?
 
Lutherf said:
It's not so much the call or the text or whatever. It's the idea that if I don't answer immediately then I'm ignoring them or blowing them off or something. That's what drives me nuts. Well, that and group texts.
Click to expand...

Bingo! That's what I mean.

I don't have any issues with folks calling me. I talk, it's no big deal. I do have a problem with calling work, texting, and then calling my cell number because I didn't answer the first call.
 
nota bene said:
Hmmm, where does this sense of urgency--this immediacy--come from?
Click to expand...

It's OCD or ADD or one of those things. We didn't have that stuff growing up so I'm pretty sure that cell phones, computers and cable TV caused it all.
 
Gina said:
Bingo! That's what I mean.

I don't have any issues with folks calling me. I talk, it's no big deal. I do have a problem with calling work, texting, and then calling my cell number because I didn't answer the first call.
Click to expand...

Hmmm...maybe we both know a lot of the same people.:lol:
 
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