- Joined
- May 18, 2016
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- 5,138
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- Location
- North America
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- Other
Yesterday, my youngest child died. He wasn't even two years old. His sister brought home a chest cold from school and he caught it. I put him down for nap, and he didn't wake up. I feel like I'm lost right now, like Someone shot me and I just haven't realized I've been shot.
What do I do now? All I can think of his how much I want to hold him. How much I want to see his smile, and feel his baby kisses. I want him to run down the hallway, and yell boo. I want to hear him sliding the sugar bin across the floor one more time. I want so many things, but there is no way for me to have them.
I feel like I've failed him, that it was my job to protect him, and I failed. He was my son, and I let him die. And I don't know how to not feel that. Today a police officer watched me cry so hard he had to give me a hug. And he cried with me.
My wife and daughter are just as upset as I am, and I don't know how to comfort them, when I need the same comfort. I just miss him, more than I have ever missed anything in my entire life.
His name was Lex, and I don't know if I can feel joy without him.
What do I do now? All I can think of his how much I want to hold him. How much I want to see his smile, and feel his baby kisses. I want him to run down the hallway, and yell boo. I want to hear him sliding the sugar bin across the floor one more time. I want so many things, but there is no way for me to have them.
I feel like I've failed him, that it was my job to protect him, and I failed. He was my son, and I let him die. And I don't know how to not feel that. Today a police officer watched me cry so hard he had to give me a hug. And he cried with me.
My wife and daughter are just as upset as I am, and I don't know how to comfort them, when I need the same comfort. I just miss him, more than I have ever missed anything in my entire life.
His name was Lex, and I don't know if I can feel joy without him.