• This is a political forum that is non-biased/non-partisan and treats every person's position on topics equally. This debate forum is not aligned to any political party. In today's politics, many ideas are split between and even within all the political parties. Often we find ourselves agreeing on one platform but some topics break our mold. We are here to discuss them in a civil political debate. If this is your first visit to our political forums, be sure to check out the RULES. Registering for debate politics is necessary before posting. Register today to participate - it's free!

Dealing with tremendous loss.

ThoughtEx.

Banned
DP Veteran
Joined
May 18, 2016
Messages
5,138
Reaction score
2,125
Location
North America
Gender
Undisclosed
Political Leaning
Other
Yesterday, my youngest child died. He wasn't even two years old. His sister brought home a chest cold from school and he caught it. I put him down for nap, and he didn't wake up. I feel like I'm lost right now, like Someone shot me and I just haven't realized I've been shot.

What do I do now? All I can think of his how much I want to hold him. How much I want to see his smile, and feel his baby kisses. I want him to run down the hallway, and yell boo. I want to hear him sliding the sugar bin across the floor one more time. I want so many things, but there is no way for me to have them.

I feel like I've failed him, that it was my job to protect him, and I failed. He was my son, and I let him die. And I don't know how to not feel that. Today a police officer watched me cry so hard he had to give me a hug. And he cried with me.

My wife and daughter are just as upset as I am, and I don't know how to comfort them, when I need the same comfort. I just miss him, more than I have ever missed anything in my entire life.

His name was Lex, and I don't know if I can feel joy without him.
 
My prayers are with you and your family.
 
I came very close to that with a three year old daughter with the flu.

I have no answers for you except to mention that they say that the pain matures into something more bearable.

I dont really know how long that takes.
 
Last edited:
No words will suffice really :(

You never really know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. I am so sorry. Please accept my condolences for your family's loss. Just awful. Stay close to your friends and loved ones and don't be afraid to reach out and lean on everyone for support.
 
Wow. I have no words. Can't even imagine what you're going through right now.
 
My lord but my heart goes out to you! Don't be afraid to lean on family and friends and your faith if you practice one. And there are family counseling services that can help in these kinds of matters too. Even though I don't know you, I feel deeply for you. No parent should have to go through what you are now, take care of yourself. See to your wife and other children and as difficult as you may find it? Don't blame yourself and don't task yourself for this unfortunate turn of events. Your son, whom I am sure loved you, would not want to see you do that. I'd wager. Go with God.
 
All my thoughts and prayers for you and yours and my heartfelt condolences for the loss of your beloved, Lex.
 
Thanks everyone, I wish I had the words to describe this better. I'm just laying here awake right now, I can't close my eyes without seeing his face. I just miss him so much.
 
Yesterday, my youngest child died. He wasn't even two years old. His sister brought home a chest cold from school and he caught it. I put him down for nap, and he didn't wake up. I feel like I'm lost right now, like Someone shot me and I just haven't realized I've been shot.

What do I do now? All I can think of his how much I want to hold him. How much I want to see his smile, and feel his baby kisses. I want him to run down the hallway, and yell boo. I want to hear him sliding the sugar bin across the floor one more time. I want so many things, but there is no way for me to have them.

I feel like I've failed him, that it was my job to protect him, and I failed. He was my son, and I let him die. And I don't know how to not feel that. Today a police officer watched me cry so hard he had to give me a hug. And he cried with me.

My wife and daughter are just as upset as I am, and I don't know how to comfort them, when I need the same comfort. I just miss him, more than I have ever missed anything in my entire life.

His name was Lex, and I don't know if I can feel joy without him.

Oh my god. I'm so sorry.

I've lost a lot, but I have no idea what you're going through.

I just want you to know it isn't your fault. You haven't failed him. No reasonable person would have expected you to do anything differently than you did. Unfortunately, the extremely young are sometimes quite fragile. Sometimes babies pass without even seeming to be ill at all. I have no doubt that if it had looked like anything more than a bug, you'd have acted accordingly. But you can't save him from the unforseeable. Please don't let this guilt you don't deserve to carry grind on you. I'm sure Lex wouldn't want you to feel that way either.

I don't know the path by which you should heal, or what to tell you. All I can say for sure is that you should get as much support as you need for everyone around you, And even just sharing your grief with your family is a way of supporting them and making them feel less alone too.

Take care of yourself.
 
I am so, so, so sorry for your tremendous loss. My thoughts are with you and your family in this sad time.
 
What would have been my first born died as well, 8 months into the pregnancy. It's been 22 years and we still feel tremendous grief even talking about it, especially when the anniversary rolls around. We visit his grave and ask questions like... who were you, who would you have become, did we do anything wrong or did we somehow fail you. We've done all the psychological work with ourselves, we know it's not our fault, but there is always that small piece.

My partner and I, our families comforted us in so many different ways, but it all rings hollow. In the end the only way to deal with grief is to grieve. You find micro-rests within the grief, where it doesn't feel so terrible. You find glimmers of normality before the next wave hits. Sometimes the micro-rests are only for a second. Eventually it becomes days, weeks, and months. You never forget -- ever. You just learn to live with it.

I'm sorry I don't have better advice. All I can give you is compassion and let you know you're not alone in how you feel. Sincerely...
 
Condolences, dude. I cant even imagine the pain youre going through right now.
 
Yesterday, my youngest child died. He wasn't even two years old. His sister brought home a chest cold from school and he caught it. I put him down for nap, and he didn't wake up. I feel like I'm lost right now, like Someone shot me and I just haven't realized I've been shot.

What do I do now? All I can think of his how much I want to hold him. How much I want to see his smile, and feel his baby kisses. I want him to run down the hallway, and yell boo. I want to hear him sliding the sugar bin across the floor one more time. I want so many things, but there is no way for me to have them.

I feel like I've failed him, that it was my job to protect him, and I failed. He was my son, and I let him die. And I don't know how to not feel that. Today a police officer watched me cry so hard he had to give me a hug. And he cried with me.

My wife and daughter are just as upset as I am, and I don't know how to comfort them, when I need the same comfort. I just miss him, more than I have ever missed anything in my entire life.

His name was Lex, and I don't know if I can feel joy without him.

I am very sorry to hear that.
 
Yesterday, my youngest child died. He wasn't even two years old. His sister brought home a chest cold from school and he caught it. I put him down for nap, and he didn't wake up. I feel like I'm lost right now, like Someone shot me and I just haven't realized I've been shot.

What do I do now? All I can think of his how much I want to hold him. How much I want to see his smile, and feel his baby kisses. I want him to run down the hallway, and yell boo. I want to hear him sliding the sugar bin across the floor one more time. I want so many things, but there is no way for me to have them.

I feel like I've failed him, that it was my job to protect him, and I failed. He was my son, and I let him die. And I don't know how to not feel that. Today a police officer watched me cry so hard he had to give me a hug. And he cried with me.

My wife and daughter are just as upset as I am, and I don't know how to comfort them, when I need the same comfort. I just miss him, more than I have ever missed anything in my entire life.

His name was Lex, and I don't know if I can feel joy without him.

Oh, God. I am so profoundly sorry for your family. Heartbroken for this terrible tragedy. There is no greater loss in this world than the loss of a child. God bless you.
 
Yesterday, my youngest child died. He wasn't even two years old. His sister brought home a chest cold from school and he caught it. I put him down for nap, and he didn't wake up. I feel like I'm lost right now, like Someone shot me and I just haven't realized I've been shot.

What do I do now? All I can think of his how much I want to hold him. How much I want to see his smile, and feel his baby kisses. I want him to run down the hallway, and yell boo. I want to hear him sliding the sugar bin across the floor one more time. I want so many things, but there is no way for me to have them.

I feel like I've failed him, that it was my job to protect him, and I failed. He was my son, and I let him die. And I don't know how to not feel that. Today a police officer watched me cry so hard he had to give me a hug. And he cried with me.

My wife and daughter are just as upset as I am, and I don't know how to comfort them, when I need the same comfort. I just miss him, more than I have ever missed anything in my entire life.

His name was Lex, and I don't know if I can feel joy without him.

Oh Good Lord, ThoughtEx! What an awful, awful thing to have to live through. I really can't write much because I can't think of any words that seem appropriate and that don't come over as glib and clichéd. We don't know one another, but I want you to know that I'm sending you my very best wishes for the safety and healing of your family and my sincerest condolences for your terrible, terrible loss. I'm so sorry.
 
Yesterday, my youngest child died. He wasn't even two years old. His sister brought home a chest cold from school and he caught it. I put him down for nap, and he didn't wake up. I feel like I'm lost right now, like Someone shot me and I just haven't realized I've been shot.

What do I do now? All I can think of his how much I want to hold him. How much I want to see his smile, and feel his baby kisses. I want him to run down the hallway, and yell boo. I want to hear him sliding the sugar bin across the floor one more time. I want so many things, but there is no way for me to have them.

I feel like I've failed him, that it was my job to protect him, and I failed. He was my son, and I let him die. And I don't know how to not feel that. Today a police officer watched me cry so hard he had to give me a hug. And he cried with me.

My wife and daughter are just as upset as I am, and I don't know how to comfort them, when I need the same comfort. I just miss him, more than I have ever missed anything in my entire life.

His name was Lex, and I don't know if I can feel joy without him.

My heart goes out across the miles to you, your wife, your daughter, and your families. May you find strength and comfort in the days and years to come. Bless you all. xxoo
 
I can't imagine how tragic something like that can be.
Deepest sympathies.

I hope your support network and community services can help you when you need them.
 
I'm certain that, if we could, we would help to carry the burden of your loss, but we can only empathize with you. Your child has passed, but your love has not. To be remembered with love is what we would all want. I'm old and most everyone has passed, but I treasure photos and memories triggered by small things. The three of you can certainly share your love and give one another strength to carry on. Perhaps establish a small goal in memory of Lex and set about accomplishing that goal. Your life is your friends, so reach out and touch them and feel some love come back to you.
/
 
Yesterday, my youngest child died. He wasn't even two years old. His sister brought home a chest cold from school and he caught it. I put him down for nap, and he didn't wake up. I feel like I'm lost right now, like Someone shot me and I just haven't realized I've been shot.

What do I do now? All I can think of his how much I want to hold him. How much I want to see his smile, and feel his baby kisses. I want him to run down the hallway, and yell boo. I want to hear him sliding the sugar bin across the floor one more time. I want so many things, but there is no way for me to have them.

I feel like I've failed him, that it was my job to protect him, and I failed. He was my son, and I let him die. And I don't know how to not feel that. Today a police officer watched me cry so hard he had to give me a hug. And he cried with me.

My wife and daughter are just as upset as I am, and I don't know how to comfort them, when I need the same comfort. I just miss him, more than I have ever missed anything in my entire life.

His name was Lex, and I don't know if I can feel joy without him.

I am staggered by your loss ThoughEX. My prayers are with you and your family and friends who grieve for your son's death.

The room you made in your heart at your son's birth has been changed, and I have no experience that can possibly know what that feels like.

I raise my eyes skyward to the memory of your son, and the joy his brief walk through life will bring to you forever.
 
So very sorry for your loss.
 
You have my utmost sympathies.
 
Something like this reminds us just how delicate life is.

My deepest condolence.
 
I am so sorry for you loss
Since I became a father this has been my greatest fear. It is a pain no one should have to bear.
As to your wife and daughter try and take some comfort in comforting them, nothing can take away the pain but being with loved ones can make it a bit less unbearable
You didnt mention how old your daughter was but if she is old enough to understand what happened make sure she doesnt blame herself.

Rest in peace Lex, I never knew you but you were obiously loved
 
Wow. You are clearly going through what is every parents greatest fear. I don't have any advice or words that can help fill the empty space in your heart and your home since I'm not sure how I would handle it or if I even could. I'm not much of a religious person, but it is times like these where faith provides its greatest solace. Nothing fills the void quite like the faith that every parting is merely temporary. Best wishes
 
Back
Top Bottom