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Roommate refuses to get a job! What do I do?

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MisterLogical

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Me and my room mate share a car, that we borrow from a friend but its not really ours. Our friend said we can use it as long as we pay them for gas. I had a job but it was minimum wage and it was temporary so it only lasted a few months. So I got a new job recently and its long hours, it has 12 hour shift for 6-7 days a week. I agreed since I running out of money and need a new one. My room mate had a warehouse job too but they recently got fired. They wont say why, or even bother asking the employer why they got fired they just kind of said "Whatever" and left the job. So I recently told my friend where to go and who to talk to in order to get a job with the company I am working with right now, however they said they do not feel like working 10 hour shifts. I am really angry, since the idea was to get us both jobs with this company so we could go to work together and I would not be taking the car from him and he would not have to struggle getting a job while I am at the warehouse because I took the only form of transportation. I am really angry. What do I do about this? When anyone asks them about anything or why they do stuff they just quietly walk away and ignore you. This is frustrating. When they screw up they do not care why, or try to fix it they just kind of leave. This is pissing me off. How do I make them TRY?
 
MisterLogical said:
Me and my room mate share a car, that we borrow from a friend but its not really ours. Our friend said we can use it as long as we pay them for gas. I had a job but it was minimum wage and it was temporary so it only lasted a few months. So I got a new job recently and its long hours, it has 12 hour shift for 6-7 days a week. I agreed since I running out of money and need a new one. My room mate had a warehouse job too but they recently got fired. They wont say why, or even bother asking the employer why they got fired they just kind of said "Whatever" and left the job. So I recently told my friend where to go and who to talk to in order to get a job with the company I am working with right now, however they said they do not feel like working 10 hour shifts. I am really angry, since the idea was to get us both jobs with this company so we could go to work together and I would not be taking the car from him and he would not have to struggle getting a job while I am at the warehouse because I took the only form of transportation. I am really angry. What do I do about this? When anyone asks them about anything or why they do stuff they just quietly walk away and ignore you. This is frustrating. When they screw up they do not care why, or try to fix it they just kind of leave. This is pissing me off. How do I make them TRY?
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You can't and I applaud his/her operating mode. When you get pissy aboout his/her behavior, just walk away, don't engage. I love it! Smart person. I hope soon they find a job that doesn't require the 10-12 hours that you're willing to sacrifice. As for the car, etc, clearly if he/she isn't putting their fair share of gas, they need to take the bus or walk or ride a bike. Simple.

You can't control others, getting pissed about it is of no use and only reflects badly on you.
 
MisterLogical said:
Me and my room mate share a car, that we borrow from a friend but its not really ours. Our friend said we can use it as long as we pay them for gas. I had a job but it was minimum wage and it was temporary so it only lasted a few months. So I got a new job recently and its long hours, it has 12 hour shift for 6-7 days a week. I agreed since I running out of money and need a new one. My room mate had a warehouse job too but they recently got fired. They wont say why, or even bother asking the employer why they got fired they just kind of said "Whatever" and left the job. So I recently told my friend where to go and who to talk to in order to get a job with the company I am working with right now, however they said they do not feel like working 10 hour shifts. I am really angry, since the idea was to get us both jobs with this company so we could go to work together and I would not be taking the car from him and he would not have to struggle getting a job while I am at the warehouse because I took the only form of transportation. I am really angry. What do I do about this? When anyone asks them about anything or why they do stuff they just quietly walk away and ignore you. This is frustrating. When they screw up they do not care why, or try to fix it they just kind of leave. This is pissing me off. How do I make them TRY?
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Another thought crosses my mind. Perhaps he/she simply doesn't want to work and live with you. I know that no one in their right mind would choose to both live and work with me. I'm just not that enjoyable to be around 24/7, any sane person would need time away.
 
Summerwind said:
You can't and I applaud his/her operating mode. When you get pissy aboout his/her behavior, just walk away, don't engage. I love it! Smart person. I hope soon they find a job that doesn't require the 10-12 hours that you're willing to sacrifice. As for the car, etc, clearly if he/she isn't putting their fair share of gas, they need to take the bus or walk or ride a bike. Simple.

You can't control others, getting pissed about it is of no use and only reflects badly on you.
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It matters when them having an income affects more than one person and the fact we are sharing a vehicle

Summerwind said:
Another thought crosses my mind. Perhaps he/she simply doesn't want to work and live with you. I know that no one in their right mind would choose to both live and work with me. I'm just not that enjoyable to be around 24/7, any sane person would need time away.
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Well we both live here, if They really wanted to leave they need to get a job and get enough money to move out. They said they like it here though and they would not leave. Since they like this house, this city, and they are perfectly content staying in this same spot forever.
 
MisterLogical said:
It matters when them having an income affects more than one person and the fact we are sharing a vehicle.
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A vehicle which is also not yours. As I said, then don't share the vehicle or get the owner of the vehicle to tell the other he/she no longer has permission. You don't have the right nor apparently the personal clout with this person to force your desires onto him/her. Don't like it? Get another roommate, don't share the car, whatever, but you cannot force someone else to get a job, particularly not that specific job.
 
sounds like you need a new room mate. as i read this there's nothing you can do, other than calculate roughly exactly how much gas you'll need to get somewhere and back, and keep an emergency supply in a small gas can hidden in the tire well.
 
I have two roomies. One is 67 years old and still works as a caregiver. The other is 24 and is a car electronic mechanic. If they don't have a job to pay their room rent, out they go. No ands, ifs or buts.
 
QuadpolarNutjob said:
sounds like you need a new room mate. as i read this there's nothing you can do, other than calculate roughly exactly how much gas you'll need to get somewhere and back, and keep an emergency supply in a small gas can hidden in the tire well.
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Well I can figure out the gas, and I will have enough to cover it, but I going to need a new ride in a few days. Since they wont let me take the car all the time since they said my room mate also needs it for his job(Which he could have had over there).
 
MisterLogical said:
Me and my room mate share a car, that we borrow from a friend but its not really ours. Our friend said we can use it as long as we pay them for gas. I had a job but it was minimum wage and it was temporary so it only lasted a few months. So I got a new job recently and its long hours, it has 12 hour shift for 6-7 days a week. I agreed since I running out of money and need a new one. My room mate had a warehouse job too but they recently got fired. They wont say why, or even bother asking the employer why they got fired they just kind of said "Whatever" and left the job. So I recently told my friend where to go and who to talk to in order to get a job with the company I am working with right now, however they said they do not feel like working 10 hour shifts. I am really angry, since the idea was to get us both jobs with this company so we could go to work together and I would not be taking the car from him and he would not have to struggle getting a job while I am at the warehouse because I took the only form of transportation. I am really angry. What do I do about this? When anyone asks them about anything or why they do stuff they just quietly walk away and ignore you. This is frustrating. When they screw up they do not care why, or try to fix it they just kind of leave. This is pissing me off. How do I make them TRY?
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You can't make people try to do anything they don't want to do - you can only dictate your own life.

If you are content with your job and certain you'll keep it then look to move in with a new roommate that's closer to work - or just get a smaller, more affordable place for yourself. Consider carpooling, perhaps (how much less money would you spend if you paid someone to pick you up?)

The only time in life you MUST tolerate someone's behavior when it's not compatible with yours is when you're married - and even then I'd question that.

Further, your roommate doesn't sound like the type of person you should WANT to work with all for the hopes of making transportation easy. You're in it now - you'd be in it in the future again.
 
MisterLogical said:
Me and my room mate share a car, that we borrow from a friend but its not really ours. Our friend said we can use it as long as we pay them for gas. I had a job but it was minimum wage and it was temporary so it only lasted a few months. So I got a new job recently and its long hours, it has 12 hour shift for 6-7 days a week. I agreed since I running out of money and need a new one. My room mate had a warehouse job too but they recently got fired. They wont say why, or even bother asking the employer why they got fired they just kind of said "Whatever" and left the job. So I recently told my friend where to go and who to talk to in order to get a job with the company I am working with right now, however they said they do not feel like working 10 hour shifts. I am really angry, since the idea was to get us both jobs with this company so we could go to work together and I would not be taking the car from him and he would not have to struggle getting a job while I am at the warehouse because I took the only form of transportation. I am really angry. What do I do about this? When anyone asks them about anything or why they do stuff they just quietly walk away and ignore you. This is frustrating. When they screw up they do not care why, or try to fix it they just kind of leave. This is pissing me off. How do I make them TRY?
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A: Never share a car, the owner owns the car.
B: Roomate is a deadbeat
C: Roomate won't pay rent, roomate eats the street
D: Find a better job, make more money.
E: Feel no guilt about it.
F: Get a spine and a thick skin
 
Aunt Spiker said:
You can't make people try to do anything they don't want to do - you can only dictate your own life.

If you are content with your job and certain you'll keep it then look to move in with a new roommate that's closer to work - or just get a smaller, more affordable place for yourself. Consider carpooling, perhaps (how much less money would you spend if you paid someone to pick you up?)

The only time in life you MUST tolerate someone's behavior when it's not compatible with yours is when you're married - and even then I'd question that.

Further, your roommate doesn't sound like the type of person you should WANT to work with all for the hopes of making transportation easy. You're in it now - you'd be in it in the future again.
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I can not keep it without transportation, that is the problem. Also the person letting me use the car originally said there was no problems but since our other room mate is using it too they are now suddenly upset. I am going to need to call in a lot of favors since my other room mate wont get off his ass and get a job! They say they are looking but they do not go the extra mile like I have been, and anytime I say hey lets go do job stuff a lot of times they get upset and say "No no im tired. Lets go out tomorrow, I dont want to look for work today". The only reason I found this job was because its in the city, and since I live in the middle of no where there we often have like 30 people fighting over one position doing something minor like "Working at hotopic" since that is the only opening once every five months, if we are lucky.
 
Eat it and take care of him. Whats wrong with you? Why do you hate the poor?
 
Well, I just gave the 67 year old a 30 day notice. Too difficult to live with her. She bitches about EVERYTHING. And nosey? omg. She also likes to sit out front near the window of the 24 year old and smoke her cigs. I told earlier that he didn't like the smell coming in his room and she just blew up. So, I said "I've had enough. Time for you to go". So that's that. I hope she leaves sooner, to be honest. I have given her chance after chance after chance and no way will I bend further. Enough already.
 
MisterLogical said:
Me and my room mate share a car, that we borrow from a friend but its not really ours. Our friend said we can use it as long as we pay them for gas. I had a job but it was minimum wage and it was temporary so it only lasted a few months. So I got a new job recently and its long hours, it has 12 hour shift for 6-7 days a week. I agreed since I running out of money and need a new one. My room mate had a warehouse job too but they recently got fired. They wont say why, or even bother asking the employer why they got fired they just kind of said "Whatever" and left the job. So I recently told my friend where to go and who to talk to in order to get a job with the company I am working with right now, however they said they do not feel like working 10 hour shifts. I am really angry, since the idea was to get us both jobs with this company so we could go to work together and I would not be taking the car from him and he would not have to struggle getting a job while I am at the warehouse because I took the only form of transportation. I am really angry. What do I do about this? When anyone asks them about anything or why they do stuff they just quietly walk away and ignore you. This is frustrating. When they screw up they do not care why, or try to fix it they just kind of leave. This is pissing me off. How do I make them TRY?
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Unfortunately you need to get rid of the roommate. Can you get another one? How is the unemployed roomie going to pay his share of rent?

I had roomies a number of times in my early days. It didn't save me money in the long run, because something always went wrong. They moved early, decided they'd move in with a boyfriend, wanted to live across town, leave because oops she's pregnant. So I'd end up losing the security deposit, incurring expenses to move, and end up in a tiny cheap apartment alone, anyway.

You can't make people do things they don't want to do. You have seen the character and initiative of your roomie. You know the deal. So either be prepared to support the deadbeat, or get a new roommate.

If I were you:
I'd MOVE, or start advertising on Craig's List for a new roomie ASAP (check background references thoroughly of the new roomie)
If it's my apartment, I'd serve an eviction notice on the roomie as soon as I got a new roomie. He gets 30 days' notice.
If it's the deadbeat's apartment, I'd move to the cheapest but clean little apt I could find, in as safe a neighborhood as I could get
I'd live very close to public transportation
I'd continue to borrow the car, if possible. If not, I'd use the public transportation.
I'd work out a plan to get a better job and make more money in the future. Do you have any vocational plans?
I'd save every penny I could to get a used car, if that's necessary to get around in your city.

I would NOT bank my future, even six months into the future, on sharing expenses with someone who doesn't want to work or has the ethics or character to carry his/her own weight.
 
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MisterLogical said:
Me and my room mate share a car, that we borrow from a friend but its not really ours. Our friend said we can use it as long as we pay them for gas. I had a job but it was minimum wage and it was temporary so it only lasted a few months. So I got a new job recently and its long hours, it has 12 hour shift for 6-7 days a week. I agreed since I running out of money and need a new one. My room mate had a warehouse job too but they recently got fired. They wont say why, or even bother asking the employer why they got fired they just kind of said "Whatever" and left the job. So I recently told my friend where to go and who to talk to in order to get a job with the company I am working with right now, however they said they do not feel like working 10 hour shifts. I am really angry, since the idea was to get us both jobs with this company so we could go to work together and I would not be taking the car from him and he would not have to struggle getting a job while I am at the warehouse because I took the only form of transportation. I am really angry. What do I do about this? When anyone asks them about anything or why they do stuff they just quietly walk away and ignore you. This is frustrating. When they screw up they do not care why, or try to fix it they just kind of leave. This is pissing me off. How do I make them TRY?
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I had a roommate like that, he refused to even work at a mcdonalds, because he would rather die of starvation than start at the bottom with no skills. He was the shining example of "I am holding out for middle management", but he ended up moving back to west virginia having his father pay his way since no one would hand him a high end dream job, and his only work experience was in the army.


Sometimes you have to stop paying his share of food,and everything else and make him go without until he learns he needs to get a job because no one will care for him because he is lazy.
 
MisterLogical said:
Me and my room mate share a car, that we borrow from a friend but its not really ours. Our friend said we can use it as long as we pay them for gas. I had a job but it was minimum wage and it was temporary so it only lasted a few months. So I got a new job recently and its long hours, it has 12 hour shift for 6-7 days a week. I agreed since I running out of money and need a new one. My room mate had a warehouse job too but they recently got fired. They wont say why, or even bother asking the employer why they got fired they just kind of said "Whatever" and left the job. So I recently told my friend where to go and who to talk to in order to get a job with the company I am working with right now, however they said they do not feel like working 10 hour shifts. I am really angry, since the idea was to get us both jobs with this company so we could go to work together and I would not be taking the car from him and he would not have to struggle getting a job while I am at the warehouse because I took the only form of transportation. I am really angry. What do I do about this? When anyone asks them about anything or why they do stuff they just quietly walk away and ignore you. This is frustrating. When they screw up they do not care why, or try to fix it they just kind of leave. This is pissing me off. How do I make them TRY?
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In other words roommates suck.
 
I have had to take many jobs to make ends meet. Someone who wants to live lazy like that needs to get the boot. We get people at the apartment complex here too, literally parading the grounds looking for suckers stupid enough to take them in and to pay their bills. Be very careful with someone who does not want to contribute. You have every right to be angry. Many roommates will not tell you their true intentions.

We have hordes of prostitutes here who will literally tote their spawn from building to building hoping someone is stupid enough to pay them any attention.
 
I'd shoot the roommate and bury him in a shallow grave somewhere desolate. Alternatively, stab the roommate and bury him in a shallow grave somewhere desolate. As you can readily perceive, the options leading to a shallow grave somewhere desolate are nearly limitless. Draw a few of these up in pictorial form and present them to your roommate for his selection of preference.
 
beerftw said:
I had a roommate like that, he refused to even work at a mcdonalds, because he would rather die of starvation than start at the bottom with no skills. He was the shining example of "I am holding out for middle management", but he ended up moving back to west virginia having his father pay his way since no one would hand him a high end dream job, and his only work experience was in the army.


Sometimes you have to stop paying his share of food,and everything else and make him go without until he learns he needs to get a job because no one will care for him because he is lazy.
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if he wanted to be lazy security was for him. pays more than McDonalds, and with military experience management is wide open.
 
This is a bad roommate and really he needs to go.
it seems that you can pay the way without him so no need to deal with him.

however there are things that you need to do in order to get rid of him.

talk to your landlord and explain the situation if it is an apartment then talk to the apartment manager.
if you can't get out of your lease and rent a single bedroom apartment off the people and leave him with the current one.

the other thing you can do is serve him notice of failure to pay. by being on the lease he has a legal obligation to help pay for it.
no you are not going to recover any of the money but to kick him out you still have to serve him notice.

after 30 days see if the landlord won't change the locks and give you another key.

before doing anything consult a legal expert to your local laws a they are all different.
 
MisterLogical said:
Me and my room mate share a car, that we borrow from a friend but its not really ours. Our friend said we can use it as long as we pay them for gas. I had a job but it was minimum wage and it was temporary so it only lasted a few months. So I got a new job recently and its long hours, it has 12 hour shift for 6-7 days a week. I agreed since I running out of money and need a new one. My room mate had a warehouse job too but they recently got fired. They wont say why, or even bother asking the employer why they got fired they just kind of said "Whatever" and left the job. So I recently told my friend where to go and who to talk to in order to get a job with the company I am working with right now, however they said they do not feel like working 10 hour shifts. I am really angry, since the idea was to get us both jobs with this company so we could go to work together and I would not be taking the car from him and he would not have to struggle getting a job while I am at the warehouse because I took the only form of transportation. I am really angry. What do I do about this? When anyone asks them about anything or why they do stuff they just quietly walk away and ignore you. This is frustrating. When they screw up they do not care why, or try to fix it they just kind of leave. This is pissing me off. How do I make them TRY?
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Maybe it's not easy, it was very hard for me almost 40 years ago.

I just moved out. Gave my notice, and the owner evicted my deadbeat roommate.
 
It's been 35 years since I had a roommate, and before then, I had several. The only roommates I didn't kick out were women. Not for sex, but rather they were willing to pick up the slack by taking care of the house. I am also more tolerant of what I see as faults in women, and I tend to get very adversarial with other men.
 
MisterLogical said:
Me and my room mate share a car, that we borrow from a friend but its not really ours. Our friend said we can use it as long as we pay them for gas. I had a job but it was minimum wage and it was temporary so it only lasted a few months. So I got a new job recently and its long hours, it has 12 hour shift for 6-7 days a week. I agreed since I running out of money and need a new one. My room mate had a warehouse job too but they recently got fired. They wont say why, or even bother asking the employer why they got fired they just kind of said "Whatever" and left the job. So I recently told my friend where to go and who to talk to in order to get a job with the company I am working with right now, however they said they do not feel like working 10 hour shifts. I am really angry, since the idea was to get us both jobs with this company so we could go to work together and I would not be taking the car from him and he would not have to struggle getting a job while I am at the warehouse because I took the only form of transportation. I am really angry. What do I do about this? When anyone asks them about anything or why they do stuff they just quietly walk away and ignore you. This is frustrating. When they screw up they do not care why, or try to fix it they just kind of leave. This is pissing me off. How do I make them TRY?
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There is far too much "we" in your life that contributes to your expenses and too much "I" that must work to pay those bills. You don't make them do anything - it appears that they wish to make you support them.
 
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