lizzie
DP Veteran
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2009
- Messages
- 28,580
- Reaction score
- 31,554
- Location
- between two worlds
- Gender
- Female
- Political Leaning
- Libertarian
Although I am not Christian, I can completely understand where he's coming from on this. The same things generally apply when it comes to the qualities that I would look for in a husband, except that I think he went overboard a little on a couple of them.
These are applicable principles, whether you are a man or a woman.
I wouldn't want a "believer" in the same sense that he means it, but I would want someone who is open to my own views, and who isn't a hateful anti-religious ass.
The divorcee question would center around why the divorce happened. Did he get one because he just decided he didn't like his wife anymore, or did she want the divorce, or was is just simply a matter of an amicable separation without a lot of drama?
The older man situation doesn't apply to me, but the younger man question would. I wouldn't want a man who was significantly younger than I. It would be uncomfortable to me, unless the guy was exceptionally mature for his age.
I think the equivalent of the feminist issue for me, would be one of whether or not the man was what I would view as weak. I don't want a man whom I can push around. I have no respect for that. I am not a feminist, but I expect to be equal, and not dominant, nor submissive. My parents, who were very devout Christians, has an equal partnership. Neither was dominant over the other.
The sexy dresser- I can see where he's coming from on this. The applicable question would be, assuming it were a man, is, is he dressing like that for me, or to impress other women? If it's the latter, it's a problem, as it implies that he has issues with his desirability, and needs to validate it through other sexual attractions.
The loud mouth- understandable- that denotes a sense of insecurity and a strong need for attention. Both childish traits.
The wander-luster- This is something which needs to be balanced, on the part of both parties in a relationsip. Both should have outside interests, but if it reaches the point that their outside interests exceed their interest in each other, then that points to a problem.
Career woman- In this day and time, it's virtually impossible for both NOT to have careers, but what he's saying is probably that her career shouldn't dictate her life. Otoh, his career shouldn't supercede his marriage either. If it does, it will create discontent on her part, and cause her to drift and gravitate toward substitutes for what was once passion.
Devotion-less woman- Imo, this is very important. Without devotion to one another (and it is a two-way street), the marriage has little chance of survival. Devotion is one of the most important traits that we can develop as humans.
So, in spite of many people making fun of these points, they are traits which make for good marriage partners, whether you're a man OR a woman.
