First, you had to raise your kids on their own without a male role model and a family role model (at least you haven't mentioned one). Statistics show that your kids are more likely to divorce themselves, perpetuating the destruction of traditional families.
There is zero evidence that they wouldn't have felt that way already due to my ex's flagrant affairs. Kids who grow up in a family where dad is cheating and mistreating mom are likely to repeat those behaviors, as well. Which is worse?
Secondly, your being an independent minded feminist may have contributed to the outcome of your marriage. If your husband was not able to deal with your non-traditional outlook, he may have become an abusive prick and stuck his dick in other women. These things do tend to take two to tango.
I had little choice in the matter. When I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter, my ex quit his job. That was a pattern that continued during the life of our marriage. He had over 20 different jobs in 10 years. He usually could only hold a job down for a year or less.
You can blame me for a lot, but had I been financially dependent on him, as a family, we'd have been screwed. I'd have liked to stay at home and take care of my kids, but that was never an option for me.
I never cared how much money he made, I cared that he was responsible and steady. He wasn't. I didn't beat him up about it, but it caused significant stress in our marriage.
I didn't start out as a ball-busting feminist, I was forced to work by necessity, and ended up being good at it. I didn't set out to emasculate him, if he felt unsuccessful professionally, that was largely a result of his own actions and choices.
I still believe that he has untreated mental illness. However, he refuses to seek help, so there was very little I could do.
My parents raised me that being a mother means doing what your family needs you to do. In my case, that meant earning a steady paycheck and ensuring we had groceries, a house to live in, clothes to wear, and health insurance coverage.
However, the assumption that I'm somehow responsible is typical. He didn't fulfill his commmitments to the marriage, so that must have been my fault, somehow. I wish I had a dollar for everytime I've heard that, especially from religious leaders.
During this time period, I should note that he never expressed any resentment of my professional success, in fact, he told me that he was proud of me. And he happily spent the money I earned.
The idea that you would use my story to attempt to cast aspersions on feminism in order to bolster your own paradigms is duly noted.
Thirdly, the combination of financial independence and non-traditional roles by women have disrupted the traditional family. Divorce for much lessor reasons than yours occurs regularly. People get tired of each other and when marriage is no longer fun and games and the real work starts, people have an easier time of ignoring their vows and quitting on each other.
These decisions are as often initiated by men as by women. This has little to do with feminism and everything to do with no-fault divorce laws. Please stop blaming the one on the other. The fact is that before feminism, men did this sort of thing to women routinely, and women had little recourse.
Now you want to blame us for having options. I find that disingenous.
This destabilizes a foundation stone in our society. Secondary effects of single parent families are stark.
One stable single parent beats the hell out of kids growing up in a home with high levels of conflict and instability between the parents. Look it up.
Let me say this again...I NEVER wanted to be divorced. I tried to make it work for 12 years. It was a MISERABLE life. I put up with it FOR MY KIDS. Finally, after his third affair, I thought, "What else am I teaching my kids by staying? Am I teaching my daughter that she doesn't have a right to be happy? Am I teaching my son to mistreat and abuse his own wife someday?"
Funny how the opponents of feminism never seem to care about perpetuating THOSE lessons. It's all about trying to shame women for making choices to protect ourselves and our kids.
Lastly, the instability of the family causes women to have children out of wedlock. This perpetuates the problems.
Teen pregnancies are at their lowest levels since the 1950s. It's funny how your claims here have very little substantiation. :roll:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15835429/
The birth rate among teenagers declined 2 percent in 2005, continuing a trend from the early 1990s. The rate is now about 40 births per 1,000 females ages 15 to 19. That is the lowest level in the 65 years for which a consistent series of rates is available.
The U.S. teen birth rate is still the highest among industrialized countries.