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What Do You Think About Apologies?

What do you think about apologies (political or otherwise)?

  • They are signs of strength and growth

    Votes: 13 54.2%
  • They are signs of weakness and fear

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Other

    Votes: 10 41.7%
  • I'm too weak for this poll :(

    Votes: 1 4.2%

  • Total voters
    24

Cilogy

Pathetic Douchebag
DP Veteran
Joined
Sep 29, 2008
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Location
Texas
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Political Leaning
Independent
What do you think about apologies or saying "sorry?"

Now, consider that the apologies I'm talking about are not necessarily from senators or presidents or leaders, but from you and me too. Are apologies things that help with growth and strengthening your confidence/dignity? Or are they last resorts that show weakness and instability in your self-esteem? Or something else?

I knew a lot of kids my age back in high school who thought saying "sorry" was a weak move by anyone. And I still know many adults who think the same way. You always "gotta be a man" or "be strong" and "fight back" or some useless bull like that.

Is that the case in politics? When political leaders apologize for a mistake is it a sign of weakness or a sign of strength?
 
To me, an apology is a sign of strength of character. It shows that one's pride is not so rigid that the person refuses to admit that they erred and they can both take responsibility for their mistake and impress upon another person their regret of hurting them. An apology can make a difference.
 
What do you think about apologies or saying "sorry?"

I sat other, it depends on what you are apologizing for.

If you are truly sorry(not a "I'm only sorry because I was caught and I want you or the court to give me mercy" apology) for what you did to someone then sure apologize to that person. Other words its just a bogus and meaningless apology if you are not truly sorry for wronging that individual.


IF you are apologizing on the behalf of people who died a long time ago or people who are not sorry for their actions to a group of people who are no longer around then you are a ****ing weak willed moron who thinks that saying I'm sorry will magically make things better.

No politician has any business doing this seeing how they are our elected representatives and what ever they do they do in our name so it is we the people are really saying sorry not the politicians. Politicians apologizing to Japan for the atomic bombing have no business doing so because as stated above they doing this is really us apologizing. Anyone apologizing to Japan for us dropping atomic bombs on them is basically saying "**** you, you should have died" to all our WWII.Politicians apologizing to native Americans,same reasons as stated above about politicians apologizing for slavery.

I am not ashamed about anything our forefathers did, a lot of us are a product or result of the actions of our forefathers and others in past.
 
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Nothing about being weak at all.
It shows strength to me that someone can admit their mistakes and make attempts to rectify it.

For me, i'd respect my politicans more if they said sorry.
Not apologising when you are in the wrong and you know it would bring that person down in my estimates
 
What do you think about apologies or saying "sorry?"

Now, consider that the apologies I'm talking about are not necessarily from senators or presidents or leaders, but from you and me too. Are apologies things that help with growth and strengthening your confidence/dignity? Or are they last resorts that show weakness and instability in your self-esteem? Or something else?

I knew a lot of kids my age back in high school who thought saying "sorry" was a weak move by anyone. And I still know many adults who think the same way. You always "gotta be a man" or "be strong" and "fight back" or some useless bull like that.

Is that the case in politics? When political leaders apologize for a mistake is it a sign of weakness or a sign of strength?

As CC and Laila have said I think it shows a strong character.
I'd like to see more people here suck it up and say they're sorry instead of making basement whine threads.

(BTW, I always like your polling questions. Pretty thought provoking imo.)
 
it works like that:

you want some benefits but you need to screw some people over to get them. for example you need to get the OIL but you know it will leave a million innocent people dead. so what do you do ?

you do it anyway ! then after you collect your pay check you come out into the public and apologize for making a "mistake".

now what's worse - murdering people and then aplogizing for it ( Tony Blair ) or murdering people and not apologizing for it ( Dick Cheney )

what would Jesus do ?

maybe we should ask Iraqi children what they think ? ( oops they're dead ! ) :rofl

the answer is - apologize if you still want to kill more. that way you get re-elected and can continue with your business.
 
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Apologies are a sign of respect, to indicate the desire to make peace and resolve conflict between aggrieved parties. When they are accompanied by the will to make difficult changes and sincere efforts at reconciliation, they are the means by which frith is restored and confidence is built in the good intentions of the party who apologizes.

An apology that is not marked by the desire to change and the willingness to atone, however-- and this is the vast majority of political apologies-- are a sign of weakness and hypocrisy, that the person apologizing is not strong enough to bear the consequences of their own decisions. It is begging for mercy from a party that they intend to continue to offend

In many cases, it is a refusal or even an inability to justify one's own actions, either to the offended parties or to their own sense of propriety. An apology is offered as a substitute for moral consistency and self-examination.
 
I think they certainly can be a sign of strength and growth but it depends on the apology and how serious one is about it. Especially in politics, lots of people are sorry... sorry they got caught, not sorry for what they did initially. The same thing is true in religion as well, you get plenty of preachers who get caught with their hands in the cookie jar who are plenty sorry because they might lose their jobs or get prosecuted for their crimes.

Frankly, I don't believe most of the apologies that people in the public sector make because I don't think most of them are genuine. They got caught, it caused their careers potential harm, they're using an apology as a means to save political face, but in the end, they don't change their minds, they just pay lip service to it.
 
lots of people are sorry... sorry they got caught

yeah. wouldn't it be nice if they would come out on a random occasion and say " i am sorry for not paying taxes, stealing money from the state, accepting bribes and cheating on my wife " - you know, just out of the blue ?

but no. they always have to wait until somebody comes up with the evidence that they did it, until its all over the news - THEN they are sorry.

a million dollar smile one day - crying the next. what a coincidence that their conscience ALWAYS awakens the moment they get caught.

why do we have a separate word for "apology" in this language ? we already have words "lies" and "punishment" which are sufficient.

there is the kind of apology when you lie because you don't want to be punished. and the kind where you don't lie and ask to be punished.

but no it wasn't enough for the liars. they invented "apology" which means you act like you are being punished while avoiding any actual punishment.

apologies just like religion are used by liars to take advantage of the gullible.
 
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Apologies are a sign of strength--no question about that.

I have had to work on learning to apologize. My mother, for the most part, was a very loving mother. However, if I upset her and apologized, she would say, "You're not sorry." In other words, she would reject my apology. The constant rejection of my apologies slowly caused me to develop a difficulty with apologizing. Sigh. That is one thing I will NEVER do to another person.
 
Apologies are a sign of strength--no question about that.

I have had to work on learning to apologize. My mother, for the most part, was a very loving mother. However, if I upset her and apologized, she would say, "You're not sorry." In other words, she would reject my apology. The constant rejection of my apologies slowly caused me to develop a difficulty with apologizing. Sigh.

Were you actually sorry for what you did and remorseful when you apologized to your mother or did you apologize because you do not want your mother to be mad at you?


That is one thing I will NEVER do to another person.

So you would take a "I'm only sorry because I was caught so please take mercy on me" apology or a" I'm only sorry because I did something to piss you off and I do not want you mad at me anymore" apology?

One of the things wrong with society is we teach children to apologize for things they are not sorry for with the idea that someone saying I'm sorry makes things better. Thats why we have pedophile scum who murdered and raped children offering bogus apologies at a trial to the loved ones of that child he raped and killed and preachers offering bogus apologies when they get caught doing something they shouldn't.
 
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Not me. I'm going to gloat at my trial.
 
Were you actually sorry for what you did and remorseful when you apologized to your mother or did you apologize because you do not want your mother to apologize.

I'm confused by the second option? I apologized to my mother because I didn't want her to have to apologize to me?

Anyway, I was probably sincere initially when I apologized. I stopped showing sincerity when my apologies were consistently rejected and not intentionally (i.e., I wasn't intentionally not showing sincerity--it was a defense mechanism). That likely only added fuel to the fire.

My mother believed (and I think she still does to some extent) that a parent should never have to apologize to their child. Give me a break.


So you would take a "I'm only sorry because I was caught so please take mercy on me" apology or a" I'm only sorry because I did something to piss you off and I do not want you mad at me anymore" apology?

One of the things wrong with society is we teach children to apologize for things they are not sorry for with the idea that someone saying I'm sorry makes things better. Thats why we have pedophile scum who murdered and raped children offering bogus apologies at a trial to the loved ones of that child he raped and killed and preachers offering bogus apologies when they get caught doing something they shouldn't.

My point on that was made based upon an apology that was sincere.
 
I'm confused by the second option? I apologized to my mother because I didn't want her to have to apologize to me?

I changed it, it should read-


"Were you actually sorry for what you did and remorseful when you apologized to your mother or did you apologize because you do not want your mother to be mad at you?"

Anyway, I was probably sincere initially when I apologized. I stopped showing sincerity when my apologies were consistently rejected and not intentionally (i.e., I wasn't intentionally not showing sincerity--it was a defense mechanism). That likely only added fuel to the fire.

Your mother probably saw your apologies the same way mother saw my apologies when I used to get in trouble in school for fighting or something else followed by the usual "I promise I won't do it again, I swear I won't get into any more fights or anything else I am not supposed to". When you constantly do the same thing and apologize for it it, that apology looks fake.

My mother believed (and I think she still does to some extent) that a parent should never have to apologize to their child. Give me a break.


If its for disciplining a child then you shouldn't. That reinforces the idea in the child's head that the parent is wrong for punishing the child and therefore renders the parent's discipline useless since it will only be seen in the eyes of a child that the parent just being mean or just being angry.


My point on that was made based upon an apology that was sincere.

When your apologies were actually sincere as you claim, where they because you were sincerely remorseful for your actions towards your mother or were you just sincerely trying to just make her feel better or make peace?
 
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What do you think about apologies or saying "sorry?"

Now, consider that the apologies I'm talking about are not necessarily from senators or presidents or leaders, but from you and me too. Are apologies things that help with growth and strengthening your confidence/dignity? Or are they last resorts that show weakness and instability in your self-esteem? Or something else?

I knew a lot of kids my age back in high school who thought saying "sorry" was a weak move by anyone. And I still know many adults who think the same way. You always "gotta be a man" or "be strong" and "fight back" or some useless bull like that.

Is that the case in politics? When political leaders apologize for a mistake is it a sign of weakness or a sign of strength?

To me any apology doesn't mean anything unless the person has made or is making honest efforts to change or compensate for the damage. Absent that, "I'm sorry" is a PC way of saying "just let me off the hook."

In debate, "I'm sorry" is usually a weak attempt at trolling, used to mean "to bad".

In real life I hear "I'm sorry" to mean "I'm doing it anyway", so I don't give apologies in general much credit.
 
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I changed it, it should read-


"Were you actually sorry for what you did and remorseful when you apologized to your mother or did you apologize because you do not want your mother to be mad at you?"

Hmmm. I don't know if I can remember. I'm sure I apologized for the latter reason you mention at times. To me, if I say something without any intent to hurt my mother, and it hurts her feelings, I think an apology so that she's not upset with me would be appropriate.

Your mother probably saw your apologies the same way mother saw my apologies when I used to get in trouble in school for fighting or something else followed by the usual "I promise I won't do it again, I swear I won't get into any more fights". When you constantly do the same thing and apologize for it it, that apology looks fake.

I don't remember my apologies being based on things like that (behavior towards other people or behavior not directed at her). I would have more respect if she sat me down and said, "I keep hearing the same apology over and over again, and there is a point where I find them insincere." Something like that.


If its for disciplining a child then you shouldn't. That reinforces the idea in the child's head that the parent is wrong for punishing the child and therefore renders the parent's discipline useless since it will only be seen in the eyes of a child as the parent just being mean or just being angry.

I disagree, although not under all circumstances. If the discipline was worse than it needed to be, I think an apology would be appropriate. Or if the parent overreacts to something. For example, I yelled at my son when he spilled something the other day. He didn't do it on purpose. I apologized to him and told him I didn't need to yell. To me, an apology under those circumstances is appropriate (and warranted, IMO).


When your apologies were actually sincere as you claim, where they because you were sincerely remorseful for your actions towards your mother or were you just sincerely trying to just make her feel better or make peace?

Does it really matter?
 
It depends on why the apology was offered. Motive is everything. Anybody with kids knows that the words mean almost nothing--it's the mentality behind them.

I'm in favor of someone apologizing or saying that they're sorry whenever the individual feels that it is the right thing to do. Sometimes, however, it's the right thing to do, not because you did anything wrong, but because you need to be seen as apologetic in the situation. Two people can both legitimately think that the are right, and in such a case, neither "should" apologize, but one may decide that the future rewards of a present apology are worth the trade off involved.

So, in conclusion, apologize when you feel it is the right thing to do, not only when you feel it's warranted.
 
Does it really matter?

Yes one is genuine and the other is fake. The general basic definition of apology is a written or verbal expression of remorse or sorrow for having wronged another. Simply apologizing to make someone feel better or to get on their good side is not a genuine apology. Apologizing because you actually feel genuine regret(not regretting the consequences,for example a someone in prison,someone who doesn't want their loved one to be pissed at them and etc) for your actions that have wrong another is what apology is supposed to be.
 
I really can't see how apologizing can be anything even near to 'showing strength'.
I do not think it is generally a sign of weakness, however.
I think it mostly depends on the situation.
 
I really can't see how apologizing can be anything even near to 'showing strength'.


Strength is sometimes wrapped in a cloak of weakness, humility, or shame.
 
Yes one is genuine and the other is fake. The general basic definition of apology is a written or verbal expression of remorse or sorrow for having wronged another. Simply apologizing to make someone feel better or to get on their good side is not a genuine apology. Apologizing because you actually feel genuine regret(not regretting the consequences,for example a someone in prison,someone who doesn't want their loved one to be pissed at them and etc) for your actions that have wrong another is what apology is supposed to be.

I think it would depend on the facts. Say I see a picture of Michelle Obama and I say, "I hate her dress." Jane Doe, a friend of mine, owns that dress and gets offended. Clearly, my words were not meant to insult her, but she feels insulted. Do I regret I said that? NO. I think her dress is ugly. Do I regret that Jane was insulted by it? Sure. In that circumstance, I would apologize so that she wouldn't be mad at me. I don't think that apology is fake.
 
I think it would depend on the facts. Say I see a picture of Michelle Obama and I say, "I hate her dress." Jane Doe, a friend of mine, owns that dress and gets offended. Clearly, my words were not meant to insult her, but she feels insulted. Do I regret I said that? NO. I think her dress is ugly. Do I regret that Jane was insulted by it? Sure. In that circumstance, I would apologize so that she wouldn't be mad at me. I don't think that apology is fake.

If the apology is for saying you think Mrs Obama's dress sucks then it is still bogus because you do not feel remorse or regret for saying what you said.
 
If the apology is for saying you think Mrs Obama's dress sucks then it is still bogus because you do not feel remorse or regret for saying what you said.

Right, but I think you miss the point that sometimes apologies are not based on your own intentions. I accidentally run into someone and cause them to fall down and injure themselves. I certainly didn't mean to injure them. Is my saying sorry that my actions hurt them inappropriate? NO.

P.S. My apology with the Michelle dress would be I was sorry my friend bought such an ugly dress. ;)
 
Apologies are a sign of weakness. Even when you are wrong you should never admit it.
 
I think apologies are an essential social skill.

When you find that you are, indeed, wrong, apologizing helps restore the balance in a personal or social relationship.

If you are apologizing because you sincerly believe you are wrong, it is a sign of strong character and good values.

If you apologize to someone because you fear their wrath, it is a sign of weakness...but indeed you might have good reason to fear their wrath, in which case it might be a sign of intelligence as well. :mrgreen:

If you apologize when you know you were right, just because you can't stand the idea of someone being mad at you or you're afraid your friends will be unhappy with you, that is a weakness of character: you fear to stand up for what is right unless it is also popular.
 
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