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Is hate a Choice?

Is Hate a Choice?


  • Total voters
    41

Gwendoline

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Is hate a choice? If it is, why would anyone choose it? It's not good for us or anyone around us. Bad for emotional / physical health. Has a way of making us look / sound ugly, and it ties our insides up in knots. Poisons relationships, spreads ill-will, creates unnecessary stress, and it also has a tendency to escalate / turn into violent / aggressive behaviour if left unchecked. Hate dehumanises people, which is one of the worst things it does.

Special Note: Hate is a natural reaction / emotion to certain things. It is a very human thing to feel hate at times. I'm not talking about the kind of hate we feel in the moment that passes quickly, or at least, passes reasonably quickly, I am not talking about a natural reaction of hate that is triggered in us in an "immediate" situation happening around us. I am talking about an "attitude of hate". An attitude of hate that "prevails" and becomes part of persons prominent makeup - a part of their constant dialogue - where a person expresses strong hatred towards others in the shape / form of attacking / scapegoating / one particular group or another, be they women or homosexuals or Jews, and on.

Is hate a choice? If yes, why choose it? It's incredibly destructive as a behaviour / and it cuts us off from genuine human engagement with others. Hate doesn't seem to have much going for it. What do you think?

Please choose whichever answer/s resonate with you.
 
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I tend to think that the term "hate" is NOT an accurate term for what you are describing, Gwendoline. Hate is an extreme emotion and does not reflect what most people feel towards otherness. Fear is a more accurate term.

I think the term hate, when used in this fashion, is a form of hyperbole. We hate individuals, we do not hate groups. Hate is too intense an emotion to sustain and direct towards an entire class of people.

I think that these feelings of fear towards otherness are deeply engrained, and are a residue of our primate selves and our tribal natures, which developed as a genetic means of self-protection. Primates with these responses survived, others without them did not. So, genetically, this is deeply wired into our selves. We fear others because they might harm us, and because they are unfamiliar. When the unfamiliar becomes familiar, we no longer fear it.

So, in a sense, these feelings of fear directed towards a group that fits the definition of "other-ness" can be unlearned, but it is often an unconscious process of exposure.

I think it may also be taught during the developmental years.

Also, I don't think the poll choices accurately reflect my feelings about this issue.
 
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I agree with Catz, hate is taught, though sometimes it is a natural reaction to things one does not understand.
 
It is taught, but still a choice. One can choose to hate or move past the teaching or situation that caused the hate in the first place.
 
I think hate/fear is something that we're taught before we are old enough to develop critical thinking skills, and that we all have engrained prejudices.

It's interesting that some get through that "taught hatred" to go over to the other side, while some others seem to remain in a state of "hating" and do not seem to get past it. Unlike having chosen it, it seems more like something they get "stuck" in.
 
It's interesting that some get through that "taught hatred" to go over to the other side, while some others seem to remain in a state of "hating" and do not seem to get past it. Unlike having chosen it, it seems more like something they get "stuck" in.

I sometimes wonder if it has to do with the type of personality we have. I'm an ENFP, my boyfriend is an INTJ, my brother is an INTJ. My parents are ISTJs.

That S results in a very black/white perspective on life that is very rules focused. Coupled with the J's, you get people who remain remarkably consistent at following externally imposed rules throughout their entire lives. The N's, on the other hand, are intuitives, and see the world more as shades of gray. Even though my parents raised my brother and I in an atmosphere of racial intolerance, where my mom constantly made denigrating comments about people of color, neither my brother or I caught the disease of racism. We're both naturally curious and exploratory, the polar opposites of my parents.

I think the racism "gene" is much like the religion "gene." People have it, by nature, and it dictates their behaviors throughtout their lives. Often, to an extent that they don't even realize.
 
It's interesting that some get through that "taught hatred" to go over to the other side, while some others seem to remain in a state of "hating" and do not seem to get past it. Unlike having chosen it, it seems more like something they get "stuck" in.

Sorry, the poll was not up when I commented. I voted a choice, though I do think it is taught to a degree. Still, a person has the ability to choose to get past the hate and get to know those they dislike. Many in my family are racist, but I have softened them greatly over the years. My best friend is a black guy and my family loves him. The rest of my friends consist of Indians, Chinese, Turkish, Nicaraguan, and Polish. So even though I come from a very close minded family, I have chosen to embrace all that I meet.
 
Other: you make it seems as if Hate is a bad emotion. On the contrary it is and was quiet useful for the survival of the species. Just because some have unfounded hate, doesnt mean hate is wrong in general terms.
 
I tend to think that the term "hate" is NOT an accurate term for what you are describing, Gwendoline. Hate is an extreme emotion and does not reflect what most people feel towards otherness. Fear is a more accurate term.

I think the term hate, when used in this fashion, is a form of hyperbole. We hate individuals, we do not hate groups. Hate is too intense an emotion to sustain and direct towards an entire class of people.

I think that these feelings of fear towards otherness are deeply engrained, and are a residue of our primate selves and our tribal natures, which developed as a genetic means of self-protection. Primates with these responses survived, others without them did not. So, genetically, this is deeply wired into our selves. We fear others because they might harm us, and because they are unfamiliar. When the unfamiliar becomes familiar, we no longer fear it.

So, in a sense, these feelings of fear directed towards a group that fits the definition of "other-ness" can be unlearned, but it is often an unconscious process of exposure.

I think it may also be taught during the developmental years.

Also, I don't think the poll choices accurately reflect my feelings about this issue.

Hate is exactly the word I wanted to use. Fear is underneath, but the hate is on top, and that is what is expressed.

I'm not particularly / at all talking about "most" people here - I am talking about an "element" of people that express strong hatred towards others / towards groups of people. It was my experience at PF to notice extraordinary "hate" being directed at groups of people - so it is a very real and relevant phenomena. This forum is SO VERY (thankfully!) unlike that in terms of the hate I witnessed at PF, where this poll was first conducted.

Your poll choice would come in under the heading of "Other" - that's why I put the option there.
 
Well Gwen most people who are filled with hate so far that it consumes them, actually just project their own insecurities. Unfounded emotions of any kind have an inner and personal story, most times the emotions have nothing to do with the target in question. Just my 2 cents.
 
Other: you make it seems as if Hate is a bad emotion. On the contrary it is and was quiet useful for the survival of the species. Just because some have unfounded hate, doesnt mean hate is wrong in general terms.

I don't think hate is a bad emotion. I already explained in the opening post about that. Perhaps you didn't read it. Hate is a very natural emotion. I am talking about the kind of hate that is ongoing, extreme, and probably quite unmanageable to a person.
 
First, It seems that generalized hatred towards a group is always being viewed as a bad thing. I don't think that is the case.

For example, I HATE pedophiles. I despise them. If I could, I would personally beat the crap out of each and every one of them if I could.

I don't think there is anything wrong with my hatred of these people.

I also don't think my hatred is because of an arbitrary distinction.

And that's the issue.

Hating an entire group of people for arbitrary reasons, such as race religion, gender, non-victimizing lifestyle choices, etc. is wrong, IMO.

Hating a group of people for specific reasons, such as for behaviors they engage in that harm others, is not necessarily wrong.

I hate lots of groups of people. I don't hate for arbitrary reasons though.

In fact, I would say that EVERYBODY hates some group of people. I think it's totally natural.

I think that bigotry stems form this natural inclination to hate abhorrent behaviors because bigots ignorantly apply abhorrent behaviors to a group based on arbitrary distinctions. They overgeneralize behaviors present in a subgroup to the main group because of arbitrary similarities between the subgroup and the main group.

Hatred itself is not bad, but bigotry is. Bigotry is a product of a combination of natural emotions and ignorance. It is not necessarily a "choice" because the ignorance is the primary cause. If it is willful ignorance, then it is clearly a choice. If it is ignorance bred from inexperience or teaching, it isn't necessarily a choice.
 
Sorry, the poll was not up when I commented. I voted a choice, though I do think it is taught to a degree. Still, a person has the ability to choose to get past the hate and get to know those they dislike. Many in my family are racist, but I have softened them greatly over the years. My best friend is a black guy and my family loves him. The rest of my friends consist of Indians, Chinese, Turkish, Nicaraguan, and Polish. So even though I come from a very close minded family, I have chosen to embrace all that I meet.

Do you think that you chose to embrace all that you meet - through watching your "closed minded family" and wanting to do better than them? Or was it something intrinsic to you? Something more to do with your own particular character? more than the affect of having closed minded people around you?
 
Well Gwen most people who are filled with hate so far that it consumes them, actually just project their own insecurities. Unfounded emotions of any kind have an inner and personal story, most times the emotions have nothing to do with the target in question. Just my 2 cents.

I agree with you. Projection is a huge element in how we treat others.
 
For most of us hate is a choice.

Now, that said, what about psychopaths who have no conscience and are born not made?

They behave hatefully. Do they really have choice.
 
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When people look inward and all that is staring back at them is a sense of worthlesness, unhapiness, and frustration, one way of dealing with it is through some honest soul searching and positive steps taken to elevate their self esteem. Few people take this route. More commonly, they joust at windmlls rather than turning inward, and their creation of groups to despise is their way of feeling better about themselves. Of course, ths is just an illusion since tearing down others doesn't really satisfy, but it offers the person a less than honest way of elevating themself.

I believe this works on the cultural as well as individual level as well, especially inasmuch as it is such an easy matter to exploit the chips people have on their shoulder as well as the doctrinaire nature of so many forms of hatred. Heck, those who hate Jewish people (and there is one working the forum who denies there is even such thing as Jewish people despite their 3500 year old history) have it down to such a degree they might as well be following a recipe.
 
Do you think that you chose to embrace all that you meet - through watching your "closed minded family" and wanting to do better than them? Or was it something intrinsic to you? Something more to do with your own particular character? more than the affect of having closed minded people around you?

I think it is an intrinsic difference with me. When I began college and came into contact with so many different groups of people, I began to become ever more intrigued with different cultures and histories. Also, as a scientist, I am natural curious, so I gravitate toward things I do not understand.
 
I sometimes wonder if it has to do with the type of personality we have. I'm an ENFP, my boyfriend is an INTJ, my brother is an INTJ. My parents are ISTJs.
.

:confused:

I am unfamiliar with this "personaility" test, or measurement you refer to. I'd like to know where I fall :crosses fingers for LMNOP:
 
Is hate a choice? If it is, why would anyone choose it? It's not good for us or anyone around us. Bad for emotional / physical health. Has a way of making us look / sound ugly, and it ties our insides up in knots. Poisons relationships, spreads ill-will, creates unnecessary stress, and it also has a tendency to escalate / turn into violent / aggressive behaviour if left unchecked. Hate dehumanises people, which is one of the worst things it does.

Special Note: Hate is a natural reaction / emotion to certain things. It is a very human thing to feel hate at times. I'm not talking about the kind of hate we feel in the moment that passes quickly, or at least, passes reasonably quickly, I am not talking about a natural reaction of hate that is triggered in us in an "immediate" situation happening around us. I am talking about an "attitude of hate". An attitude of hate that "prevails" and becomes part of persons prominent makeup - a part of their constant dialogue - where a person expresses strong hatred towards others in the shape / form of attacking / scapegoating / one particular group or another, be they women or homosexuals or Jews, and on.

Is hate a choice? If yes, why choose it? It's incredibly destructive as a behaviour / and it cuts us off from genuine human engagement with others. Hate doesn't seem to have much going for it. What do you think?

Please choose whichever answer/s resonate with you.

I'm not gettin cozy with a child molester anytime soon, so....
 
:confused:

I am unfamiliar with this "personaility" test, or measurement you refer to. I'd like to know where I fall :crosses fingers for LMNOP:

I had you pegged for a qwert, myself.


I only say that because I am an intj, though.
 
First, It seems that generalized hatred towards a group is always being viewed as a bad thing. I don't think that is the case.

For example, I HATE pedophiles. I despise them. If I could, I would personally beat the crap out of each and every one of them if I could.

I don't think there is anything wrong with my hatred of these people.

I also don't think my hatred is because of an arbitrary distinction.

And that's the issue.

Hating an entire group of people for arbitrary reasons, such as race religion, gender, non-victimizing lifestyle choices, etc. is wrong, IMO.

Hating a group of people for specific reasons, such as for behaviors they engage in that harm others, is not necessarily wrong.

I hate lots of groups of people. I don't hate for arbitrary reasons though.

In fact, I would say that EVERYBODY hates some group of people. I think it's totally natural.

I think that bigotry stems form this natural inclination to hate abhorrent behaviors because bigots ignorantly apply abhorrent behaviors to a group based on arbitrary distinctions. They overgeneralize behaviors present in a subgroup to the main group because of arbitrary similarities between the subgroup and the main group.

Hatred itself is not bad, but bigotry is. Bigotry is a product of a combination of natural emotions and ignorance. It is not necessarily a "choice" because the ignorance is the primary cause. If it is willful ignorance, then it is clearly a choice. If it is ignorance bred from inexperience or teaching, it isn't necessarily a choice.

I don't agree that generalised hatred towards a group is ALWAYS being veiwed as a bad thing. I can understand you hating pedophiles, that's fair enough.

I am probably more interested here in the stronger level / degrees of hate more than in any garden-variety level of hate.

Hatred itself, if left unchecked, and left to run amok, IS bad. People can / do violent things out of intense and unchecked levels of hatred.

I think hate is a choice - while at the same time I acknowledge that some people are unconscious to their own behaviour - and therefore see no reason / need to change...
 
When people look inward and all that is staring back at them is a sense of worthlesness, unhapiness, and frustration, one way of dealing with it is through some honest soul searching and positive steps taken to elevate their self esteem. Few people take this route. More commonly, they joust at windmlls rather than turning inward, and their creation of groups to despise is their way of feeling better about themselves. Of course, ths is just an illusion since tearing down others doesn't really satisfy, but it offers the person a less than honest way of elevating themself.

And there are perhaps even some who NEVER go inside - to look inward. From fear of what is there... ah, their own selves! What is disowned in a person is often projected onto others.

A great way of knowing a person's character is in how they treat others. It's so often very telling.
 
Hatred is anger accepted. That is once you find an act, idea, or condition that angers you, it becomes internalized to the point of hatred. This may be just or unjust. Anger towards a group due to ethnicity or religion, is generally unjust. Where as the hatred of people who commit certain acts, may very well be justified.
 
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