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Would you forgive your significant other if he/she cheated on you?

Would you forgive your significant other if he/she cheated on you?

  • Yes

    Votes: 6 13.3%
  • No

    Votes: 17 37.8%
  • I don't know--it would depend (describe circumstances)

    Votes: 22 48.9%

  • Total voters
    45
No.

In past relationships I've had significant others cheat on me, on a couple of occasions. In both instances, I completely removed myself from the relationship and burned the bridges completely. No contact ever again. Thats the best way to deal with it, IMO. There is no need to forgive anybody, since the situation is ended and you don't need to interact with those people anymore. Over time, the anger subsides and you eventually move on and become apathetic to those incidents.

Now if my wife were to cheat on me, I couldn't burn the bridges like I could in the past, because of our son. I doubt I could forgive her, but I'd have to deal with her in some fashion so I guess I'd just have to go hit the heavy bag before I picked up my kid.
 
I'm also in an open relationship with my wife. I have permission to see other people, and she does as well. The only real condition is that we let each other know about it beforehand and that everything is out in the open. For years I struggled with the idea and was unable to separate love and sex. They certainly can enhance each other and obviously sex with a stranger will never be as good and fulfilling as sex with the one you love. However, sex with a stranger can certainly be exciting every now and then.
 
I'm also in an open relationship with my wife. I have permission to see other people, and she does as well. The only real condition is that we let each other know about it beforehand and that everything is out in the open. For years I struggled with the idea and was unable to separate love and sex. They certainly can enhance each other and obviously sex with a stranger will never be as good and fulfilling as sex with the one you love. However, sex with a stranger can certainly be exciting every now and then.

That really works for you guys? How often do the two of you actually see other people? I think that it would not work with me and my wife, she would probably hit me in the head with a ball bat for even suggesting such a idea.:lol:
 
That really works for you guys? How often do the two of you actually see other people? I think that it would not work with me and my wife, she would probably hit me in the head with a ball bat for even suggesting such a idea.:lol:




And if SHE was the one who suggested it, in police work, we would call that a *CLUE* :mrgreen:
 
That really works for you guys? How often do the two of you actually see other people? I think that it would not work with me and my wife, she would probably hit me in the head with a ball bat for even suggesting such a idea.:lol:

We do it every now and then whenever we have the urge. Once you have such freedom it kind of loses its luster. Not to mention the fact that it is actually rather difficult to find someone who is truly looking for a "no strings attached" type of situation.
 
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For me, it is an honor thing. You give your word, either directly in the case of marriage, or indirectly before marriage, to be faithful to one person. If you cannot honor your word, trust is gone.

I understand and accept the idea of open relationships, but they are not for me.
 
The OP assumes it something requiring forgiveness. So then is assumes a promise not to have sex with someone else if the OP means sex with someone else by cheating. Cheating could be spending more money than in the monthly budget or cheating while playing cards with each other.

I can’t imagine my wife having sex with someone else because of her religious and moral values. But if she did I wouldn’t leave her or put her out. I almost would feel it would somehow be closer to fair between us. I’m not sure what attitude she’d take towards me if I did, which I intend to never do or see it happening for many reasons besides she’s incredibly good in bed. I have great appreciation for her and what she has done for my life. Among those is showing me what decency is.

The 104 in my ID comes from a few years ago when someone asked me how many women I’d had sex with whose name I could even remember to that point in my life. I pondered that for a few days and did a count. That was it. Only whose name I could remember. It continued to grow until meeting the woman I was to marry. Those I couldn’t remember even the name of probably is even larger than that. For my wife the pre-marriage count of sex partners is zero. Beautiful virgin marries slutty beast thing.

Marriage was a positive decision to completely change my life. I deeply wanted the change. Finding someone for that was not easy for what my associations and life style was. I don’t think I even knew what decent behavior was. I had met hundreds of women I wanted sex with but not one woman I would want even just for a girlfriend. My wife coming into my life was like a rescuing angel pulling me out of what had seemed cool and just how life is to increasingly seemingly like hell to me (she says that is who she is too.) I gave up hard drugs, frequently getting drunk, bar fights and whore-mongering to name a few.

The only problem I had was believing that the change was even possible for me as it was of a life I never knew existed or even thought could exist. For the longest time I couldn’t even touch her because I felt like it would be putting greasy mechanic’s hands on a perfect and completely unique work of art.

My entire life from my birth had been in the lowest gutter of sex, violent and drugs. Until marriage my entire adult life’s measure was the ability to screw the best looking barfly of the night, scoring the best dope, and the ability to beat the s…t out of any guy who f…ked with me. Those were my only measure of the success. At first it self impresses. Then it becomes routine. Then it comes to really suck like being stuck in a black hole no longer worth the minimal effort to have those successes.

A reason I doubt I’ll ever cheat is because there is no challenge in having women and easy women become not worth 5 minutes effort to get her and ultimately even repulsive. Another reason is because I deeply respect and appreciate my life and life style with my wife. Nor was any woman as good as she is in bed. Lack of experience would seem to contradict that but the opposite proved true.

You can’t have both ways.

A person can’t be a husband and father while sticking needles in his arm. You have to pick one or the other. Depending on the marriage relationship, the same is true of sleeping around. That would depend upon the relationship and understandings of it. My “cheating” on her (in any way) would be a total contradiction of what I want in marriage.
 
I guess I am the only one who said yes.

I and my wife have been together for so long and been through so much I can't imagine my life without her. At this point I could pretty much forgive her for almost anything.

We have never cheated (never felt the need to) but if she did, I could forgive her.
 
The OP assumes it something requiring forgiveness.
It's a safe assumption. There's very few things people do that do not require forgiveness now and again.

You can’t have both ways.

A person can’t be a husband and father while sticking needles in his arm. You have to pick one or the other. Depending on the marriage relationship, the same is true of sleeping around. That would depend upon the relationship and understandings of it. My “cheating” on her (in any way) would be a total contradiction of what I want in marriage.
A person can most assuredly be husband and father while sticking needles in his arm. He likely won't be very good at it, but he can still do it (and many do).

The same is true of "sleeping around". Doesn't mean you're not husband and father (or wife and mother). Just calls into question how good you are at those responsibilities.
 
I guess I am the only one who said yes.

I and my wife have been together for so long and been through so much I can't imagine my life without her. At this point I could pretty much forgive her for almost anything.

We have never cheated (never felt the need to) but if she did, I could forgive her.

I was wondering who said yes. Thanks for letting us know.
 
I guess I am the only one who said yes.

I and my wife have been together for so long and been through so much I can't imagine my life without her. At this point I could pretty much forgive her for almost anything.

We have never cheated (never felt the need to) but if she did, I could forgive her.

I think that is awesome. Good for you my friend.:)
 
My answer also is yes. I'm not sure why it didn't show if you also said yes.
 
Hell no.
I already told him if he dared, i'd rip off his penis and shove it down his throat.

If he isn't getting enough sex from me, tell me. No need to go get a whore.
Once again proving that wives also engage in physical and mental abuse of their spouse. With you making threats of physical violence as your method of keeping him he should leave you (quickly). It sure as hell ain't love.
 
Yes, depending on the circumstances.

A heat of passion type of thing I could more easily forgive. Once.

An ongoing relationship wherein I was lied to constantly, there were feelings involved between them, etc, would be extremely difficult - if not impossible - for me to forgive. Unless I had seriously been neglecting them or something. Even then, it would be difficult.

So really, for me, it's an emotional thing. I guess it boils down to the fact that I value the emotions, feelings, and actual relationship more than just a physical encounter. If I felt cheated on emotionally, that would be much harder or even impossible to forgive.
 
My gf could forgive me.

But I could never forgive her, and would terminate the relationship immediately.

ie: her out on her ass immediately.
 
My gf could forgive me.

But I could never forgive her, and would terminate the relationship immediately.

ie: her out on her ass immediately.

Just out of curiosity, why the double standard? If she could forgive you why couldn't you forgive her?
 
No forgiving possible. If she cheats then it is obvious that I just think she is my significant other. I have a tendency to brake relationships off very abruptly as soon as it goes sour anyways.
 
Once again proving that wives also engage in physical and mental abuse of their spouse. With you making threats of physical violence as your method of keeping him he should leave you (quickly). It sure as hell ain't love.

Hey, he knew what he was getting into when he was pursuing me years ago. He knows there are some lines i have.
And i have no need to keep him with me using violence, there are 6 billion people in this world. I'm pretty sure that there are other Men in this world.

I don't know about you but my partner is not a coward, he knows i would never hurt him .... unless he thoroughly deserved it and i also know he would never cheat on me and vice versa.
If he did ever cheat on me, i sure as heck hope she was good in bed because he won't be getting any from me ever again. I'm not the forgiving type and he has been well aware of that for years.

Oh and i'm not a 'wife'
 
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No, I couldn't and wouldn't. It's a whopper of a lie, a deceipt. THAT's what I couldn't forgive, not the actual deed. Especially when there's no need to sneak around or lie to himself, to the other woman/man or to me.

I'm pretty open, talk to me, tell me..... negotiate. If you tell me that you want no one else then me. I'm going to believe you and hold you to that standard. If you tell me you want me only for you, then that's how it is. Period.

If you come to me and tell me there's a woman you want and must have, go for it. Don't do the deed and then come to me all hang dog pitiful, asking permission after the fact..... it's disprespectful to yourself, the other woman and me.

I have very few hard boundaries, this is one of them. Honesty. From honesty comes trust, and trust is the biggy that any relationship with me is built on.

The "cheat" is the lie, not the sex.
 
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I took "forgive" to mean "remain with them" not literal forgiveness.

Literally forgive, I would do that regardless of the circumstances. No matter how I've been wronged, I have never been one to not forgive. It's just my nature.


As far as remain with my wife, it would depend on a few things.

If it was purely physical and there was no emotional involvement, it would be a lot easier to remain with her after infidelity, but if it was an actual prolonged relationship with emotional investment, I don't think I could.

Did it happen and then she told me about it right away, or did she hide it and I discovered it? If she fessed up to a purely physical encounter right away, again, it would be easier to remain with her. If she hid it from me and I discovered it by chance, it would be more difficult.

All of the above means nothing if she cheated on me with another woman. I'd definitely stay with her in that case. :mrgreen:



But I'd definitely "forgive" her in any scenario. I would still love her regardless. I wouldn't hold a grudge over it.
 
And i have no need to keep him with me using violence, there are 6 billion people in this world. I'm pretty sure that there are other Men in this world.

I am pretty sure if you where ever available, men would be lining up around the block for you.
 
I am pretty sure if you where ever available, men would be lining up around the block for you.

Until they find out about my violent tendencies and then run for their lives ;P
 
I'd like to add that I would not get angry over it, regardless of the scenario.

I do have a very bad temper, but it really doesn't come out when people do things to me such as this. If I were physically hit, my temper would rise, but emotional hits don't get me angry.

I've got a weird temper though. I've got a long fuse in many ways, and a nearly invisible fuse in others.
 
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