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Are some words inherently offensive or is context important?

Are some words inherently offensive?

  • Yes

    Votes: 8 30.8%

  • No

    Votes: 18 69.2%
  • Total voters
    26
Tucker Case said:
Good. That's the first step to avoidance. If I could avoid my own, I would. ;)



Sorry about the derail, but this thread needed a humor pick-me-up. :2wave:
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Yeah id did get a little serious there. Well back to the grind.

Time get on topic again. I now find words only in the context to have any power over me. It is not even a power it is an effect on me. It leaves me more judgmental of the person saying then then having anything to do with me. I stay distant from the word assaults.
 
Inferno said:
Yeah id did get a little serious there. Well back to the grind.

Time get on topic again. I now find words only in the context to have any power over me. It is not even a power it is an effect on me. It leaves me more judgmental of the person saying then then having anything to do with me. I stay distant from the word assaults.
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Personally, I can't think of a time when something that was said to me actually bothered me. I don't really have an issue with someone having a negative opinion of me for any reasons, valid or not.

But bad things said to people I care about is another matter entirely. I've gotten quite bothered by that before.
 
Tucker Case said:
Personally, I can't think of a time when something that was said to me actually bothered me. I don't really have an issue with someone having a negative opinion of me for any reasons, valid or not.

But bad things said to people I care about is another matter entirely. I've gotten quite bothered by that before.
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It is more a minority problem. Though words or slurs can be directed at anyone. An example though it may sound silly is the phrase four eyes. A simple pair of words use by kids to berate someone that wears glasses. This can be damaging to a child.

If we have to curb all such phrases which would be good we would always be aware of our language.
 
Inferno said:
Yeah id did get a little serious there. Well back to the grind.

Time get on topic again. I now find words only in the context to have any power over me. It is not even a power it is an effect on me. It leaves me more judgmental of the person saying then then having anything to do with me. I stay distant from the word assaults.
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It's the same way for me. I am much more inclined to take offense over someone's demeanor and stance than I am over the language they actually use.
 
jallman said:
It's the same way for me. I am much more inclined to take offense over someone's demeanor and stance than I am over the language they actually use.
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I so agree with that. A person can say something seemingly harmless but if there is an attitude behind it this could be a great threat. Language is important. It is important to know the meaning of words and the damage they can do.
 
Inferno said:
I get frustrated with those events. I don't find them kid and family friendly. About 6 years ago the parade planners in NY invited many of us back who had helped plan the first parade. They set us at the front as many of us don't get around so well anymore. I was glad of that. I was upset as were many of my old friends that I had not seen. The gay/lesbian community can be a joy and so much fun. Yet when left to try and present a family image they want to out flaunt the next person in the parade.

I never found that the displays of some people in the parades is the correct thing to do. We are trying to show the world that we are like everyone else. Yes it is a festive parade but I do not need to see someones genitals to be festive.
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Some of the best parties I have been to were hosted by gay friends, often with a mixed crowd. It wasn't that there was any debauchery(unlike the stereotypical view), just that these were some really fun and friendly people, good conversations, etc. In the vein of what you were saying, just like any other party, but quality people.
 
jallman said:
It's the same way for me. I am much more inclined to take offense over someone's demeanor and stance than I am over the language they actually use.
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I got a taste of the minority life one night when I went to hang out with a gay friend at a gay club, the door guy was one of the flamboyant, militant types and was offended that most of us in the group are straight, we got things like "Oh, you're a breeder too", etc., it wasn't his words, just the attitude that was annoying, but screw it, we had a blast.
 
LaMidRighter said:
I got a taste of the minority life one night when I went to hang out with a gay friend at a gay club, the door guy was one of the flamboyant, militant types and was offended that most of us in the group are straight, we got things like "Oh, you're a breeder too", etc., it wasn't his words, just the attitude that was annoying, but screw it, we had a blast.
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Well that's what mattered...that you guys still had a blast. Let me assure you those militant types aren't very well received among most circles in general. They want to sequester themselves into a gay little life filled only with gay little people doing gay little things all the gay day long. There's a reason that the only gainful employment that they are suited for is working the door at a gay bar. A lot of times you'll find them doing that well into their 40's.
 
LaMidRighter said:
Some of the best parties I have been to were hosted by gay friends, often with a mixed crowd. It wasn't that there was any debauchery(unlike the stereotypical view), just that these were some really fun and friendly people, good conversations, etc. In the vein of what you were saying, just like any other party, but quality people.
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I think for the most part these very outrageous people at the pride parades are quality people. The problem is that they believe that the over the top act is going to get attention for the community. The problem with that thinking is that it the wrong attention. It is negative instead of positive.
 
Inferno said:
I think for the most part these very outrageous people at the pride parades are quality people. The problem is that they believe that the over the top act is going to get attention for the community. The problem with that thinking is that it the wrong attention. It is negative instead of positive.
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I agree, I'm all for rights being rights, not gay, minority, majority, etc. It's hard to justify to the straight community though when people see the attention mongering that you and Jallman are speaking of, but yeah, they probably are very good at heart and just looking for a little punch to their message.
 
LaMidRighter said:
I agree, I'm all for rights being rights, not gay, minority, majority, etc. It's hard to justify to the straight community though when people see the attention mongering that you and Jallman are speaking of, but yeah, they probably are very good at heart and just looking for a little punch to their message.
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I think you do see a lot more of the outrageousness in larger cities than you do in smaller towns.
 
jallman said:
I think you do see a lot more of the outrageousness in larger cities than you do in smaller towns.
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That seems to be the case, unfortunately for the cause though, the big town stuff is gonna be seen all over, including the small towns where people may be a little more entrenched in their beliefs on the subject.
 
LaMidRighter said:
I agree, I'm all for rights being rights, not gay, minority, majority, etc. It's hard to justify to the straight community though when people see the attention mongering that you and Jallman are speaking of, but yeah, they probably are very good at heart and just looking for a little punch to their message.
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jallman said:
I think you do see a lot more of the outrageousness in larger cities than you do in smaller towns.
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I think that some people just see this as the one celebratory that they have during the year. They just don't happen to realize that this hurts the cause. Everyone that is gay or lesbian is not an activist. That is the difference.

You are so correct about the smaller towns. The pride parades or the gay/lesbian community is far more subtle.
 
LaMidRighter said:
That seems to be the case, unfortunately for the cause though, the big town stuff is gonna be seen all over, including the small towns where people may be a little more entrenched in their beliefs on the subject.
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True. Sensationalism does sell. But living in Anchorage and going to their pride showed a real difference. It was more centered on community outreach and celebrating diversity rather than sexuality. I will never go back to Atlanta's gay pride again because it was just shameful.
 
Inferno said:
I think that some people just see this as the one celebratory that they have during the year. They just don't happen to realize that this hurts the cause. Everyone that is gay or lesbian is not an activist. That is the difference.

You are so correct about the smaller towns. The pride parades or the gay/lesbian community is far more subtle.
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jallman said:
True. Sensationalism does sell. But living in Anchorage and going to their pride showed a real difference. It was more centered on community outreach and celebrating diversity rather than sexuality. I will never go back to Atlanta's gay pride again because it was just shameful.
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And that really is the thing, you have to have support for a movement, that only comes with acceptance and understanding, if the celebrations were all civil and family friendly, I think middle America would come around, the funny thing is that many people who don't think they could be friends with a gay person probably don't even realize that they are already and just don't know it, like a coworker, teammate, even a golfing buddy, etc.

Edit- added a "all" in there.
and p.s.- I wouldn't be seen around anything similar in a mixed celebration(i.e. Mardi Gras) if I had kids.
 
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LaMidRighter said:
And that really is the thing, you have to have support for a movement, that only comes with acceptance and understanding, if the celebrations were all civil and family friendly, I think middle America would come around, the funny thing is that many people who don't think they could be friends with a gay person probably don't even realize that they are already and just don't know it, like a coworker, teammate, even a golfing buddy, etc.

Edit- added a "all" in there.
and p.s.- I wouldn't be seen around anything similar in a mixed celebration(i.e. Mardi Gras) if I had kids.
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The Mardi Gras is not seen as a paradae as the pride parade it. The Mardi Gras is more of an adult venue. The pride parades are as well, but should not be. They are a rough spot in the gay/lesbian movement.
 
LaMidRighter said:
And that really is the thing, you have to have support for a movement, that only comes with acceptance and understanding, if the celebrations were all civil and family friendly, I think middle America would come around, the funny thing is that many people who don't think they could be friends with a gay person probably don't even realize that they are already and just don't know it, like a coworker, teammate, even a golfing buddy, etc.

Edit- added a "all" in there.
and p.s.- I wouldn't be seen around anything similar in a mixed celebration(i.e. Mardi Gras) if I had kids.
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Oh yeah...Mardi Gras is about the height of debauchery. But most of the daytime stuff is pretty family friendly. I think like talloulou suggested...if they just kept the risque stuff to the night time and bars and still had family oriented events during the day, a whole lot would be done to bridge some divides there. But then I have to wonder if the media would only focus on the night time events just for ratings.

And do you really think people are still so guarded with their sexuality that you would be friends with a gay person and not know it? I would find it very hard to be friends with someone and they not know because I am very unapologetic about my relationship with Josh. I'm not rudely overt about it but I don't hide it in any way. It concerns me that I would be so out of touch as to not realize some people do the whole pronoun switching thing or hide their partners around their friends.
 
Inferno said:
The Mardi Gras is not seen as a paradae as the pride parade it. The Mardi Gras is more of an adult venue. The pride parades are as well, but should not be. They are a rough spot in the gay/lesbian movement.
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Mardi Gras in Louisiana is a free-for-all to be honest, this also depends on which city you are celebrating in, I'm not really offended by either, but do understand people who see it from the outside for either religious, family, etc. values taking things the wrong way. In fact, I think my demographic gets slandered as well by Mardi Gras, that being drunken single party guy.
 
jallman said:
Oh yeah...Mardi Gras is about the height of debauchery. But most of the daytime stuff is pretty family friendly. I think like talloulou suggested...if they just kept the risque stuff to the night time and bars and still had family oriented events during the day, a whole lot would be done to bridge some divides there. But then I have to wonder if the media would only focus on the night time events just for ratings.
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I agree with bringing out the bad stuff when the kids are in bed. Mardi Gras in New Orleans is a straight up boob fest for about two weeks, regardless of the time, the reason it gets that wild is there are just too many people to fit in jails. My city, Lafayette, is a little tamer, but you can still see just about any behavior you want if you know where to go.

And do you really think people are still so guarded with their sexuality that you would be friends with a gay person and not know it? I would find it very hard to be friends with someone and they not know because I am very unapologetic about my relationship with Josh. I'm not rudely overt about it but I don't hide it in any way. It concerns me that I would be so out of touch as to not realize some people do the whole pronoun switching thing or hide their partners around their friends.
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I see where you are going with it, I was referring to the people who aren't out. I was discussing politics with a coworker and the Louisiana gay marriage vote came up, I mentioned I was in the 20% that voted yea on it and he was surprised because I am a conservative and the perception is we are all against it, then he mentioned the life before he came out, surprised the hell out of me because we would always talk about dating life and he was with women. In fact, I mentioned it to the boss about the discussion and was afraid I outed him because of her reaction, but she assured me he had told her prior, she was more proud that he was being honest with himself and everyone else, not hiding in shame, his issue, he was worried about harrassment and losing his job, go figure, these days people are still afraid of that.
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LaMidRighter said:
I agree with bringing out the bad stuff when the kids are in bed. Mardi Gras in New Orleans is a straight up boob fest for about two weeks, regardless of the time, the reason it gets that wild is there are just too many people to fit in jails. My city, Lafayette, is a little tamer, but you can still see just about any behavior you want if you know where to go.

I see where you are going with it, I was referring to the people who aren't out. I was discussing politics with a coworker and the Louisiana gay marriage vote came up, I mentioned I was in the 20% that voted yea on it and he was surprised because I am a conservative and the perception is we are all against it, then he mentioned the life before he came out, surprised the hell out of me because we would always talk about dating life and he was with women. In fact, I mentioned it to the boss about the discussion and was afraid I outed him because of her reaction, but she assured me he had told her prior, she was more proud that he was being honest with himself and everyone else, not hiding in shame, his issue, he was worried about harrassment and losing his job, go figure, these days people are still afraid of that.
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I guess I'm just so far removed from that idea that it's hard for me to imagine it anymore. But then, I guess I have had the luxury of being the guy in charge in the work place for so long that I don't fear losing a job and I will not tolerate anyone being harassed when they work under me. I make that clear immediately when I take over a site. Nothing kills productivity faster than one of the team feeling justified discomfort or being ostracized.

Granted though, I have some instances here in California where I think the openness went a little too far. That, I won't tolerate either.
 
jallman said:
I guess I'm just so far removed from that idea that it's hard for me to imagine it anymore. But then, I guess I have had the luxury of being the guy in charge in the work place for so long that I don't fear losing a job and I will not tolerate anyone being harassed when they work under me. I make that clear immediately when I take over a site. Nothing kills productivity faster than one of the team feeling justified discomfort or being ostracized.

Granted though, I have some instances here in California where I think the openness went a little too far. That, I won't tolerate either.
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I think that's one of those things where someone who hasn't taken that step sees the bad instances of intolerance and gets gun shy about their sexuality, to me that is the hangover of the times that weren't so good. I'm open minded about that kind of thing because of my live and let live nature so I take for granted possibly that not every straight person sees things in that light. I get a huge kick out of people like the Phelps clan though, people who hide behind something like religion or family values to reinforce or otherwise justify their bigotry.
 
It seems to me that opposition to the usage of a word would necessitate knowledge of its existence, which itself would constitute a "context."
 
Use a wider context for the term "word," to include context (as should always be the case,) and the answer becomes obvious.

Context is part of a word. For example, if we say "Bob was fired," the word "fired" means entirely different things if we were just discussing his work at a bank, or his job as a human cannonball in the circus, or his status as an heretic.
 
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Redress said:
To give an example of what I mean, from what I quoted above: "She is such a bitch" has a strongly different meaning from "he is such a bastard". I don't think one is "worse" than the other, just that one is stronger than the other, and find it interesting that our culture has stronger negative terms for women than men.
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A good example of a "stronger negative term" for women is the word, "slut". There isn't an equivelent in negative terms for men for the same behaviour - in fact, the word/s attributed to men in this scenario, come out as positive terms. "Stud" being one word that comes to mind.

So how is it that "language" came around to finding / conjuring up derogatory words for a woman engaging in the same kind of sexual behaviour as a man - the same sexual behaviour that awarded men positive values / terms?

methinks sexism
 
Gwendoline said:
A good example of a "stronger negative term" for women is the word, "slut". There isn't an equivelent in negative terms for men for the same behaviour - in fact, the word/s attributed to men in this scenario, come out as positive terms. "Stud" being one word that comes to mind.

So how is it that "language" came around to finding / conjuring up derogatory words for a woman engaging in the same kind of sexual behaviour as a man - the same sexual behaviour that awarded men positive values / terms?

methinks sexism
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Good example. I would add that the problem is, I believe, a historical more than current problem. We have a language that has evolved over thousands of years. You and I both agree that the language treats women differently than men(best way I can think of to phrase it), I think it is more a legacy problem than a problem with modern culture.
 
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