Are today's kids spoiled?

Parents, more and more, don't say 'no' or discipline their kids at a very young age, so they become spoiled little monsters as teenagers.

I watched my sister raise her child with absolutely no discipline, manners and never said no. They were terrified of her outbursts. At 23 now, she's been arrested twice for road rage, agg battery, and a few other felonies. Her parents paid a fortune for her bond and when I asked my sister, "I bet you wished you had raised her different, she said no. I don't think all of today's children are raised to be brats but there's far more of it than the preceding decades. What's the cause(s)?

Parents say their 14-year-old son is addicted to video games, plays up to 17 hours a day, and runs their household by bullying and terrorizing them. See some of his outbursts.

Parents Say 14-Year-Old Son Is ‘Addicted’ To Video Games, Terrorizes House To Get What He Wants

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https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/parents-14-old-son-addicted-101502513.html

Parents want to be friends with their kids..........imo.

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

I'm spoiling mine as we speak. However, I will do my best to make sure that he doesn't end up too presidential.

Helix said:

I'm spoiling mine as we speak. However, I will do my best to make sure that he doesn't end up too presidential.

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It's not like kids have a good example today in the nation's top representative. Most parents usher children out of the room if he's on TV. If they behaved like him, they'd be suspended all the time.

Perhaps the larger concern here is "wtf happened to Trump's generation?"

IMOHO, I think kids actually want boundaries, but also want to push them.
They need to understand from a very early age, that there are consequences to their actions and choices.
Parents need to agree ahead of time what is acceptable behavior and stick to it.

grip said:

Parents, more and more, don't say 'no' or discipline their kids at a very young age, so they become spoiled little monsters as teenagers.

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I've raised mine not to be a spoiled, petulant, temper tantrum throwing, lying child like the current President Trump. Perhaps Trump's parents spoiled him too much.

Some kids are spoiled.

The grandparents spoil ours.

There are a lot of different cultural pressures on all of us- parents & kids - too.

Might be a factor in ways also.

swing_voter said:

Some kids are spoiled.

The grandparents spoil ours.

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I resemble that remark!
At some level it is OK for grandparents to spoil the grand kids,
but the boundaries of what is acceptable behavior needs to remain.
A example might be the 5 year old grand son, is not allowed to strike ether of his two year old sisters, for any reason.
Even if they hit him, he cannot hit them back!

ecofarm said:

It's not like kids have a good example today in the nation's top representative. Most parents usher children out of the room if he's on TV. If they behaved like him, they'd be suspended all the time.

Perhaps the larger concern here is "wtf happened to Trump's generation?"

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I doubt that Tweety would last two months on a message board with rules like this one. However, I'm not ready to indict the generation.

Yes, kids are spoiled.
Everyday, I monitor the children walking to and from school.
Just waiting for them to step out of line or, worse yet, step on my lawn.
I'm always ready with a water hose....ha-ha...just kidding....maybe.
Kids are spoiled, entitled little punks....except for my wonderful grandchildren.

WCH said:

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

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Good point !!!
Beating defenseless children is what wise parents do.

ecofarm said:

Perhaps the larger concern here is "wtf happened to Trump's generation?"

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What generation is Trump a member of anyway?
I think he might be a baby-boomer.
Oh, the shame.
On the other hand, the DJT supporters I'm familiar with aren't "boomers"....more like "deplorables".

swing_voter said:

Some kids are spoiled.

The grandparents spoil ours.

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That’s revenge!

radioman said:

Good point !!!
Beating defenseless children is what wise parents do.

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The kids need to believe that there will be a consequence and parents need to follow through. There WILL BE consequences on the street when they act up.....

Rexedgar said:

The kids need to believe that there will be a consequence and parents need to follow through.

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Well, of course.
However, defaulting to the old "spare the rod, spoil the child" saying indicates a lack of intellect on the part of parents.
Plenty of options are available short of beating a defenseless child.

Utterly pathetic that the father would be intimidated by that warped little brat.

Take his games. Get him a therapist on top of whatever else.

radioman said:

Well, of course.
However, defaulting to the old "spare the rod, spoil the child" saying indicates a lack of intellect on the part of parents.
Plenty of options are available short of beating a defenseless child.

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The “defenseless child” needs to understand that after he/she leaves the protection of the nest, there will be consequences to pay for stupid behavior.
Because in the world no one sees your child’s specialness......

How you impress that fact upon them is up to you.....

Rexedgar said:

The kids need to believe that there will be a consequence and parents need to follow through. There WILL BE consequences on the street when they act up.....

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The problem with "spare the rod, spoil the child" is that it's generally used as a euphemism for outright child abuse, not the teaching of consequences.

The biggest problem today is that parents are not as good at providing structure and routine for small children. For example, it's common to see parents that let their toddler stay up late. Young children almost universally thrive on structure and routine. For example, going to bed at the exact same time every night no matter what. Eating their meals at about the same time. If they take a nap, taking a nape at the same time, every day. These things should be non negotiable.

Our kids are all in their late teens now. We have a biological son that is 19, and two adopted daughters from China. Our first we adopted at age 4, the second when she was 9. They were both special needs adoptions, neither of them spoke a word of English when we went to China to get them. Despite this, we established routine and basic expectations of behavior from day 1. For example, we have always sat down and ate dinner together, using good manners at the table, and that was the way it was from day 1. You keep your room relatively neat and tidy and that was expected from day 1. Everyone treats each other with kindness, and that was expected from day 1.


Things you never did:

1. Raise your voice to your parents.

2. Yell at your siblings.

3. Be disrespectful or show poor manners in public. For example, I would be damned if any of my kids ever acted up in a restaurant.


We had basic ground rules and expectations like that but otherwise we gave them a fair amount of freedom as kids. People often argue that you should not be "a friend to your kids". I actually disagree. I think you have clear expectations and rules as to their behavior, but I also think that developing a friendship with your kids is important. One of biggest problems a lot of parents have these days is they don't know how to interact with their kids on a human level.

For example, our son has a lifelong love of baseball that he shares with my wife. He has a lifelong love of fishing that he shares with me. Our oldest daughter loves to go on backpacking and fishing trips with me. Our youngest loves travel and photography. These are passions that we share with our kids. They are things we will enjoy doing with them long after they have moved out and started their own families.

If you are not a friend to your kids as well as a parent, then once they grow up, seeing you will be this awkward burden for them, rather than something that they look forward to because they look forward to spending time with you doing the things you both enjoy doing together.

grip said:

Parents, more and more, don't say 'no' or discipline their kids at a very young age, so they become spoiled little monsters as teenagers.

I watched my sister raise her child with absolutely no discipline, manners and never said no. They were terrified of her outbursts. At 23 now, she's been arrested twice for road rage, agg battery, and a few other felonies. Her parents paid a fortune for her bond and when I asked my sister, "I bet you wished you had raised her different, she said no. I don't think all of today's children are raised to be brats but there's far more of it than the preceding decades. What's the cause(s)?

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If kids today are spoiled, they're only as spoiled as their parents raised them!

grip said:

Parents, more and more, don't say 'no' or discipline their kids at a very young age, so they become spoiled little monsters as teenagers.

I watched my sister raise her child with absolutely no discipline, manners and never said no. They were terrified of her outbursts. At 23 now, she's been arrested twice for road rage, agg battery, and a few other felonies. Her parents paid a fortune for her bond and when I asked my sister, "I bet you wished you had raised her different, she said no. I don't think all of today's children are raised to be brats but there's far more of it than the preceding decades. What's the cause(s)?

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First, it's not just the kids that are spoiled.

Second, it's the result of being able to easily and effectively "personalize" your life. Through social media and simple internet searches you can find support for any hairball personal philosophy you come up with or, if you don't feel like coming up with a life philosophy of your own, you can pick one off the shelf ready made.

You can personalize damned near anything and everything around you to get about 75% of the feedback you want while excluding almost all of the feedback you don't want. You can purchase almost anything and have it delivered to your door in a matter of days...or even hours. If you don't have cash on hand you can get credit easily. You can get into college even if your grades suck. You can get a degree in pretty much any course of study without anyone telling you that there's no money in that line of work. I mean, what the heck is a BA in "Applied Humanities: Fashion Studies Emphasis" going to set you up for that 30 hours a week working at The GAP won't?

grip said:

Parents, more and more, don't say 'no' or discipline their kids at a very young age, so they become spoiled little monsters as teenagers.

I watched my sister raise her child with absolutely no discipline, manners and never said no. They were terrified of her outbursts. At 23 now, she's been arrested twice for road rage, agg battery, and a few other felonies. Her parents paid a fortune for her bond and when I asked my sister, "I bet you wished you had raised her different, she said no. I don't think all of today's children are raised to be brats but there's far more of it than the preceding decades. What's the cause(s)?

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It's probably a variety of reasons, because family situations tend to be somewhat unique.

I've had my stints with my parents in the past (more so my mom), but I never treated my momma or father with that amount of disrespect, and I still wouldn't. That video is beyond the pale, and I can't believe some parents get it to be that bad. But honestly, those cases on Dr. Phil need actual therapy, not being thrust onto a TV Show for ratings. But that's another thing altogether.

Rexedgar said:

Parents want to be friends with their kids..........imo.

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No! Absolutely not! No, "friends"!

Why would you want your child's sacred & unique parent-child bond be reduced to "friends"? WTF? This "friends" stuff is nonsense and completely demeaning to the relationship you enjoy with your children, and theirs with you.

Mr Person said:

The problem with "spare the rod, spoil the child" is that it's generally used as a euphemism for outright child abuse, not the teaching of consequences.

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My experience growing up was that there were serious consequences to mouthing off to older/bigger kids. I also felt that the younger kids coming up, in school or on the playground, had a much easier time of it than we had. The younger kids didn’t seem to be constrained by the same fear/respect that we had to adhere to.

Older generations always seem to think that things are easier on the following group/s. I subscribe to the theory.