• This is a political forum that is non-biased/non-partisan and treats every person's position on topics equally. This debate forum is not aligned to any political party. In today's politics, many ideas are split between and even within all the political parties. Often we find ourselves agreeing on one platform but some topics break our mold. We are here to discuss them in a civil political debate. If this is your first visit to our political forums, be sure to check out the RULES. Registering for debate politics is necessary before posting. Register today to participate - it's free!

What is the ideal age gap between husband and wife?

What is the ideal age gap between husband and wife?

  • <5

    Votes: 17 30.9%

  • 5-10

    Votes: 9 16.4%

  • 10-20

    Votes: 2 3.6%

  • 20+

    Votes: 2 3.6%

  • It should be proportional

    Votes: 4 7.3%

  • Other

    Votes: 21 38.2%
  • Total voters
    55
Using the most generalized definition of mentor meaning "trusted advisor" both should be able to act as advisors to each other. I couldn't imagine being married to someone and not being able to ask their advice on work problems, for example. or not being trusted enough to be asked the same.

As to the age gap it's irrelevant.
 
noonereal said:
Oh, and what does this even mean? "It should be proportional"
Click to expand...

I think its IQ based, within 10% of a given IQ, so for example the OP should look for a woman in the 50-70 range
 
Puigb said:
Depends on the people, in all honesty. I know a couple where the husband is 18 years older, and they seem to be very happy. But right now he is 45 I believe, and her I think 27, so that COULD change when she's in her 40's (and still relatively young), and he's in his 60's, but who knows.
Click to expand...

That's the exact age difference between my husband and myself, and it has caused no issues for us. Up until very recently, he was very healthy and in great shape. But cancer will hit you even if you are young and without a care in the world, so I can't say that it has anything to do with age.
 
Logician Man said:
My younger daughter ( 37 ) is 21 years younger than her hubby. ( He's 6 1/2 ) years younger than me. They have a great marriage, but I do razz them both about what they're gonna do, or not do, when she's 55 and he is 76. They both just laugh. I'm 19 days older than my wife,and that's worked out well also for almost 50 years. Each to his/her own.
Click to expand...

Exactly. Whatever works, right? I hate when people put limitations on who should and shouldn't get married. Just like gay couples - I mean, hey. Why shouldn't they have the opportunity to suffer as much as we do? :lol:
 
Superfly said:
Exactly. Whatever works, right? I hate when people put limitations on who should and shouldn't get married. Just like gay couples - I mean, hey. Why shouldn't they have the opportunity to suffer as much as we do? :lol:
Click to expand...

Gotta admit, I really haven't suffered at all during all of these years. Truth is, we've really never had an overly contentious argument. We kinda did that 'never go to bed mad thing' when we did have an argument. She's just very easy to get along with, so why rock the boat ? :)
 
Since women generally live longer than men, the woman should be 5-8 years older...since men mature mentally/emotionally slower than women, the man should be 20-30 years older...:2razz:
 
Logician Man said:
Gotta admit, I really haven't suffered at all during all of these years. Truth is, we've really never had an overly contentious argument. We kinda did that 'never go to bed mad thing' when we did have an argument. She's just very easy to get along with, so why rock the boat ? :)
Click to expand...

You could look up contentious in the dictionary and see a picture of my husband and myself arguing. :lol: But that's OK, too. I won't have a man who won't argue with me.

All marriages have arguments and disagreements. It's how you recover from them that matters.
 
Superfly said:
You could look up contentious in the dictionary and see a picture of my husband and myself arguing. :lol: But that's OK, too. I won't have a man who won't argue with me.

All marriages have arguments and disagreements. It's how you recover from them that matters.
Click to expand...

Part of the reason we rarely argued is she would rather just let things go to avoid confrontation. She's always been that way since I met her when we were 12 years old. Lord knows I certainly gave her plenty to argue about, especially in the early years. She gave me a LOT of latitude with the 'boys will be boys' thing. A very patient and forgiving woman to say the least. I finally 'saw the light' in my late 20's and could no longer in good conscience take advantage of that good nature.
 
Logician Man said:
Part of the reason we rarely argued is she would rather just let things go to avoid confrontation. She's always been that way since I met her when we were 12 years old. Lord knows I certainly gave her plenty to argue about, especially in the early years. She gave me a LOT of latitude with the 'boys will be boys' thing. A very patient and forgiving woman to say the least. I finally 'saw the light' in my late 20's and could no longer in good conscience take advantage of that good nature.
Click to expand...

You are a lucky man.

"Let things go to avoid confrontation" is not me. I have said it before and will say it again - I am the same way IRL as I am here. Grouchy, bitchy and argumentative. Maybe my husband is the one who goes out of the way to avoid confrontation with me. :lol:
 
Logician Man said:
Part of the reason we rarely argued is she would rather just let things go to avoid confrontation. She's always been that way since I met her when we were 12 years old. Lord knows I certainly gave her plenty to argue about, especially in the early years. She gave me a LOT of latitude with the 'boys will be boys' thing. A very patient and forgiving woman to say the least. I finally 'saw the light' in my late 20's and could no longer in good conscience take advantage of that good nature.
Click to expand...

It always helps when opposites attract...kinda like me and DH...I don't like confrontations, either...I just tell him how it's gonna be and he accepts it...:2razz:
 
Superfly said:
You are a lucky man.

"Let things go to avoid confrontation" is not me. I have said it before and will say it again - I am the same way IRL as I am here. Grouchy, bitchy and argumentative. Maybe my husband is the one who goes out of the way to avoid confrontation with me. :lol:
Click to expand...

Yeah, had you and I been married,especially at such an early age, and some of the shenanigans I pulled here and there ( no hanky panky ), I'm pretty sure when I came a stumblin' in a wee bit drunk, you would have read me the riot act! lol!
 
If one is planning on procreating then a wide age difference does matter. In an ideal world having both parents growing up is a positive. My own father died in a motor vehicle accident at age 38 and I surely missed out on a lot.

I think the worst example was the actor Tony Randall who at 75 yrs old married a 25 yr old. Nine years later he passed away but was able to father two children in that marriage. Of course those two children spent most of their growing up without a father.
 
Elvira said:
It always helps when opposites attract...kinda like me and DH...I don't like confrontations, either...I just tell him how it's gonna be and he accepts it...:2razz:
Click to expand...

Opposites attract is certainly applicable to us....more so in the early years than now. I had to keep moving towards the middle ( reluctantly at times ) even though I knew it was the right thing to do. Chalk it up to that 'males maturing later' thingy...some later than others ....:)
 
Elvira said:
It always helps when opposites attract...kinda like me and DH...I don't like confrontations, either...I just tell him how it's gonna be and he accepts it...:2razz:
Click to expand...

Exactly. I mentioned this the other day. I wanted green walls, my husband wanted cream, so we compromised and got green walls. :lol:
 
Crosscheck said:
If one is planning on procreating then a wide age difference does matter. In an ideal world having both parents growing up is a positive. My own father died in a motor vehicle accident at age 38 and I surely missed out on a lot.

I think the worst example was the actor Tony Randall who at 75 yrs old married a 25 yr old. Nine years later he passed away but was able to father two children in that marriage. Of course those two children spent most of their growing up without a father.
Click to expand...

Yeah Cary Grant had a kid and he was like 60 something. At least she grew up with him, but still - losing a father at 20 has to be hard. You expect your father to be with you until you are least in your 40s or 50s, or even longer.
 
Elvira said:
It always helps when opposites attract...kinda like me and DH...I don't like confrontations, either...I just tell him how it's gonna be and he accepts it...:2razz:
Click to expand...

The potential for divorce, losing half of his wealth, child support and alimony can be powerful tools to keep a man in line. A smart man will carefully architect his circumstances a little at a time to take those tools away.
 
SDET said:
The potential for divorce, losing half of his wealth, child support and alimony can be powerful tools to keep a man in line. A smart man will carefully architect his circumstances a little at a time to take those tools away.
Click to expand...

No, a smart man will realize when he's got it good...like mine did...
 
Elvira said:
No, a smart man will realize when he's got it good...like mine did...
Click to expand...

So, in detail, what do you bring to the table? Do you have a high paying job that provides lots of money to enjoy? What exactly is he getting for his effort and sacrifice?
 
SDET said:
So, in detail, what do you bring to the table? Do you have a high paying job that provides lots of money to enjoy? What exactly is he getting for his effort and sacrifice?
Click to expand...

What money cannot buy...someone who loves him and has his best interest at heart, someone who not only cares for him, but also takes care of him...
 
I've been married to the same woman for 49 years, and she is two years older. She does run things; but's that's mostly because I could care less, I rather go sailing, shooting or playing golf or softball. And I doubt if I would have much of a social life if it weren't for her; I'm just not that interested in "people". Mostly they bore me.

However, if I were a young man in today's marriage environment, no way would I get married. The whole deal is against men today.
 
SDET said:
I was just watching a video asserting that the difference needs to be 6-8 years because it creates a mentoring relationship that puts the man as the leader. Do you agree? This all excludes the notion of marrying a minor.
Click to expand...

No ideal, whatever works for the peeps involved. Personally I couldn't stand being married someone I didn't view as my peer which in my case means close to the same age.

That being said my grandfather's uncle married a woman 20 years his senior, he was 20 she was 40, which I imagine was quite rare during the 1930's. They were married for over 50 years.
 
Fletch said:
You and I are the exact same age and I was thinking the exact same thing. I am going back to bed, because any more agreement between you and I could cause the Earth to leave its orbit and go hurtling through space
Click to expand...

When my wife was 52 I asked her if I could trade her in for 2 26 year olds.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom