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Poll for men only regarding sexual assault

Are you worried you could be a victim of a false sexual assault/harassment allegation?

  • Total voters
    73
Acadia said:
Probably, more than likely, there's someone out there who things the same about you. Perhaps, by the grace of God, you won't find yourself at the business end of a campaign to destroy your life.
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Well since I'm not running for anything and I literally have no life atm, I can pretty much guarantee that's not gonna happen. I'm not in the same headspace as people who freak out about non-existent sexual harassment accusers coming out of the woodwork to get them. Plus I don't really have sex or try to have sex with anyone all that often...The hookup culture is all so immature, i prefer to let things develop naturally and sober.
 
Bucky said:
Based on Mazie Hirono's shocking comments and Emily Lindin's tweet from over a year ago:



https://twitter.com/emilylindin/status/933073784822579200?lang=en

Are you worried you could be a victim of a false sexual assault/harassment allegation? Are you worried or fear potentially giving a kiss or a hug to a girl that you do not know well for fear of being accused of sexual assault?

Once you are accused of sexual assault or harassment, even if you are proven innocent, the damage in many ways has already been done. You can lose your job or reputation and those are things you either cannot get back or hard to restore.

What are your thoughts?
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I have been... luckily for me the person who made it up did it to make it out that we were romantic, not that I was abusive. She retracted the claim once it became more known, thank God. I didn't even know about what she was saying for weeks. The second was my ex-wife but again, thankfully, the evidence including police reports and witness statements, showed that she was the abuser and I was completely innocent.
 
Cardinal said:
I'm substantially aided in the fact that I loathe touching people I don't know.

Everybody hugs each other constantly in my part of the world. It's loathsome and I've finally managed to make my body language say, "This is a hug free zone."

In any case, I don't know anybody who's ever been accused of some form of misconduct, though I've heard of somebody who should be. His reputation has preceded him and women are careful when working with him.
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Same here. I had a co-worker, female, that blocked the door when I was trying to leave. She demanded a hug. I said that I don't hug people. She said that hugging leads to sex. I said get out of my way and walked past her with my arms in the air. Luckily there were two other people present that saw the whole thing. I never brought it up because as the man I figured they would somehow try to make it my fault.
 
Bucky said:
Based on Mazie Hirono's shocking comments and Emily Lindin's tweet from over a year ago:



https://twitter.com/emilylindin/status/933073784822579200?lang=en

Are you worried you could be a victim of a false sexual assault/harassment allegation? Are you worried or fear potentially giving a kiss or a hug to a girl that you do not know well for fear of being accused of sexual assault?

Once you are accused of sexual assault or harassment, even if you are proven innocent, the damage in many ways has already been done. You can lose your job or reputation and those are things you either cannot get back or hard to restore.

What are your thoughts?
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My thoughts? Without positive feedback from the person I'm hitting on, the encounter isn't going anywhere.
It's just the way I'm wired and it's always been that way. I don't have an explanation as to why, I just know that the sure fire way to turn off my fire is to exhibit disinterest. I have to get positive feedback on my amorous intents and if there isn't any, it kills the mood. I like being liked, that's the simplest explanation I can think of.
And that's why I don't worry about any allegations, false or otherwise.
If there was an encounter, it's because it was a mutual thing.
 
Captain Adverse said:
In this current environment?

Hell yes. Not because I've done anything. (Hence why I chose "other.")

Simply because I have seen too many peers over the years being accused.

The manager at my office was suspended pending investigation and it took 3 months to show he was not involved.

I am personally harassed on a daily basis by my supervisor and several of my female co-workers. I make a point of avoiding ALL physical contact, even accidental.

They "laugh" when I step away from hugs, etc. but I don't care.

I do not respond to sexual innuendo or make any sex related comments or jokes.

I make sure I am never in a closed space alone with anyone. Door open or at very least in a windowed office which can be seen by other personnel.

I keep my interaction completely professional.
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Sadly, though, none of what you said matters. It's the accusation that matters. Even if there are zero reasons for the accusation.

The Kavanaugh case makes the point. There are zero grounds. One accusation, and he's guilty.
 
Acadia said:
It must be cognitive dissonance that allows people who think Kavanaugh is guilty and should go down just on the basis of one 36-year old, nebulous claim of sexual assault, and at the same time, believe that if they don't drink, party or harass people that this could never happen to them.
It's remarkable.
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Do you routinely make women mad enough to just fabricate assault claims out of the blue?
 
Deuce said:
Do you routinely make women mad enough to just fabricate assault claims out of the blue?
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Interesting, you think it's about anger?
Let me do you a solid. It's about power.
 
Acadia said:
Interesting, you think it's about anger?
Let me do you a solid. It's about power.
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Ok buddy. I’m sure you’re the expert. How many times has this happened to you?
 
Bucky said:
Yes, correct. And I have been in offices where I was the only male and yes, women do have "locker room" talks that are highly inappropriate.
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Lol, When I first got my job I used to work with this older woman who used to always joke about sex and what she would do to me if she were younger. One time she even said she was tempted to drag me into the bathroom and rape me which was pretty funny coming from a 5ft1 woman to a man that was a foot taller and likely 75-100lbs heavier.
 
Acadia said:
Is anyone still laughing at Pence and his policy of not being alone with any other women besides his wife??
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If I were rich, famous, or otherwise in a position of power then I would likely have the same policy. I don't meet any of those criteria so while possible, I think it would be unlikely I would need to worry about it.
 
Nap said:
If I were rich, famous, or otherwise in a position of power then I would likely have the same policy. I don't meet any of those criteria so while possible, I think it would be unlikely I would need to worry about it.
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I understand that. I was alluding to the copious jokes made at Pence's expense over his policy, which is looking pretty common sense right now, having nothing to do with his Christianity.
It's politically savvy.
Doesn't bode well for women moving up the ladder.
 
Acadia said:
I understand that. I was alluding to the copious jokes made at Pence's expense over his policy, which is looking pretty common sense right now, having nothing to do with his Christianity.
It's politically savvy.
Doesn't bode well for women moving up the ladder.
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I understood the point, I was simply agreeing that it is a wise policy to have.

Edit: Unless they are trying to sleep their way to the top, I don't really see how it would hurt women moving up the lasdder.
 
I don’t think there is anything wrong with saying it is an acceptable trade offs. Lots of things we do for the greater good also make things worse for some people.

As for me, I can’t say it is anything I have ever been concerned about? I’m not touch feely EXCEPT in romantic situations. And as for making an unwanted advance, I was always the guy who missed the “green light” signal when women sent it.
 
Bucky said:
Based on Mazie Hirono's shocking comments and Emily Lindin's tweet from over a year ago:



https://twitter.com/emilylindin/status/933073784822579200?lang=en

Are you worried you could be a victim of a false sexual assault/harassment allegation? Are you worried or fear potentially giving a kiss or a hug to a girl that you do not know well for fear of being accused of sexual assault?

Once you are accused of sexual assault or harassment, even if you are proven innocent, the damage in many ways has already been done. You can lose your job or reputation and those are things you either cannot get back or hard to restore.

What are your thoughts?
Click to expand...
I'm a southerner and probably a touchier person than most (shoulder pats, etc. Nothing creepy). If I can work and socialize with women (and supervise women 5-20 years my junior) for over a decade without being accused of harassing or molesting them, it can't be that difficult.
 
Bucky said:
Based on Mazie Hirono's shocking comments and Emily Lindin's tweet from over a year ago:

https://twitter.com/emilylindin/status/933073784822579200?lang=en

Are you worried you could be a victim of a false sexual assault/harassment allegation? Are you worried or fear potentially giving a kiss or a hug to a girl that you do not know well for fear of being accused of sexual assault?

Once you are accused of sexual assault or harassment, even if you are proven innocent, the damage in many ways has already been done. You can lose your job or reputation and those are things you either cannot get back or hard to restore.

What are your thoughts?
Click to expand...

Now days? No. I keep to myself for the most part. Now back when I was teaching? Yes. As the only male teacher at my school it was indeed a constant concern. Just the suspicion (true or not) could finish your career, period.
 
Cardinal said:
The full context both supports and refutes my "more plausible" interpretation.

It certainly sounds bad, since I don't think anybody here truly believes that it's ever okay for an innocent person to be false accused of sexual misconduct, even in the service of the "greater good," i.e. victims feeling more comfortable about coming forward to accuse their attackers. (Although I would note that this argument is quite specifically used in the defense of the death penalty, and I'll bet you anything that the venn diagram between "people who support the death penalty" and "people who live in dread at the idea they may be false accused of sexual misconduct" shows a lot of overlap).

There is no argument that we as a nation need to rethink the crime of theft because people have been wrongly accused of theft, but when a woman accuses a man of great repute of sexual misconduct we are expected to seriously consider whether sexual misconduct should be allowed to be an accusation in the first place. There is a glaring double standard here that should be obvious to all.
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.... I am entirely unaware of this debate. Who is saying we shouldn't allow accusations of sexual misconduct?
 
Deuce said:
Do you routinely make women mad enough to just fabricate assault claims out of the blue?
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For anyone in a managerial position, this is exceedingly plausible. I saw a church ripped up once because a lady chose to launch this sort of accusation in response to being fired. It took him years (and cost the church many, many thousands of dollars) before he was cleared.
 
Of course not. I have never, and will never, engage(d) in any conduct that would provide even the most remote ground for such accusation. I profoundly respect and cherish women, I act towards them at work with the utmost professionalism, and in my personal, romantic, and sexual life, it is utterly clear that anything I do with a woman, is fully consensual and welcome. It would be repugnant for me to act otherwise. I've interacted with thousands of women at school and professionally, and dozens romantically and sexually, and not once anything remotely to do with assault or harassment has ever surfaced, with good reason (because it never happened).

I actually find that it is pretty easy to avoid such accusations. Just don't do the crime, and you won't do the time.

I think that someone who doesn't have enough social skills and people skills to know if his flirtatious behavior is welcome or not, and if not, is not willing to withdraw immediately, is a complete moron. I'm not a moron, so, no, I'm at no risk of suffering such accusations. No way.

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Reading this thread a bit, after I responded, let me edit and add this:

Someone mentioned entirely made-up claims, when someone angers a woman. Well, again, I have a lot of people skills. I don't go around making enemies. People usually like me a lot. No, I've never caused this kind of animosity at work, that I would have to worry about some woman making up stories about me for revenge. So, again, no.
 
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cpwill said:
.... I am entirely unaware of this debate. Who is saying we shouldn't allow accusations of sexual misconduct?
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No one. No one is actually saying that.
 
Yes, definitely, and I have changed many practices accordingly. I avoid any private contact with women. For example, if I saw a woman with a flat tire I'd stop to help. Sometimes it was a beggar ploy and I'd just say no. But there is the danger that if I don't give her money? She'll claim I assaulted her or tried to. I had an instant some years ago where a woman made a demand upon me, saying she's call the police claiming I hit her and pushed her down if I didn't. Without her knowing, I myself called 911 so the police could come and see I had not hit her - then exited while they were present. Overall, I will avoid ANY setting where I am alone with any female anywhere near my age range.

It used to be police would not arrest unless there was some collaborating evidence (such as injury) or witness. Now many departments practice is to automatically make the arrest and take the guy to jail. Sure, he may not be prosecuted. May be found not guilty. But his mug shot will with the accusation will be online forever.

Anyway, my answer is "yes," that is a concern of mine and anyone who isn't a really old man should be concerned too. However, I also am not a poor man, and that factors in as well.
 
Bucky said:
Based on Mazie Hirono's shocking comments and Emily Lindin's tweet from over a year ago:



https://twitter.com/emilylindin/status/933073784822579200?lang=en

Are you worried you could be a victim of a false sexual assault/harassment allegation? Are you worried or fear potentially giving a kiss or a hug to a girl that you do not know well for fear of being accused of sexual assault?

Once you are accused of sexual assault or harassment, even if you are proven innocent, the damage in many ways has already been done. You can lose your job or reputation and those are things you either cannot get back or hard to restore.

What are your thoughts?
Click to expand...
I am absolutely concerned about it which is why I just keep my mouth completely shut at work while in earshot of female coworkers unless I need to communicate something 100% business related. I don't talk about my weekend, not family goings-on, not my shower beer...nothing. Last year we lost 3 guys to sexual complaints, 1 guy was a total creep and I saw him actually do the thing he was accused of. The other 2...one was accidental contact in a confined workspace and the other was an innocent comment about a movie taken out of context. Those 2 guys lost their jobs and they did nothing wrong.

Nope, unless I know for sure that a woman isn't near me I shut up and keep to myself. And I still have a job.
 
Enoch said:
I can't take seriously anyone who says they don't care about innocent people's lives being ruined, however uncommon. As the old saying goes, it is better than a thousand guilty people go free than one innocent one be punished.
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Men have served years and decades with DNA evidence than proving the accusation of rape a lie. Prior to DNA testing? Where there was no DNA evidence? All such innocent men remained in prison and a convicted rapist for life. The number of men accused of rape for which it proven false or the female recants? THOUSANDS. That is not counting the massive growing number of accusations of "sexual harassment" that involved no physical or sexual contact whatsoever.
 
GreatNews2night said:
Of course not. I have never, and will never, engage(d) in any conduct that would provide even the most remote ground for such accusation. I profoundly respect and cherish women, I act towards them at work with the utmost professionalism, and in my personal, romantic, and sexual life, it is utterly clear that anything I do with a woman, is fully consensual and welcome. It would be repugnant for me to act otherwise. I've interacted with thousands of women at school and professionally, and dozens romantically and sexually, and not once anything remotely to do with assault or harassment has ever surfaced, with good reason (because it never happened).

I actually find that it is pretty easy to avoid such accusations. Just don't do the crime, and you won't do the time.

I think that someone who doesn't have enough social skills and people skills to know if his flirtatious behavior is welcome or not, and if not, is not willing to withdraw immediately, is a complete moron. I'm not a moron, so, no, I'm at no risk of suffering such accusations. No way.

-------

Reading this thread a bit, after I responded, let me edit and add this:

Someone mentioned entirely made-up claims, when someone angers a woman. Well, again, I have a lot of people skills. I don't go around making enemies. People usually like me a lot. No, I've never caused this kind of animosity at work, that I would have to worry about some woman making up stories about me for revenge. So, again, no.
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Prosecutors would LOVE you! No one ever falsely accused in your opinion and all that DNA evidence proving otherwise is just voodoo science to you, right?
 
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