Poll on Sexual Assault and Wrongfully Accused

I'd like to get a sense of how common it is for men(or women) to be wrongfully accused of committing sexual assault, compared to how many men (or women) experience sexual assault.

How many of you have known at least one person who has been a victim of sexual assault..

or, how many of you have known someone to have been wrongfully accused of sexual assault,

or both.

Personally, I've known many women who have been raped. As I've aged it's become apparent to me that it is far more common than I thought when I was younger.

But, I've never met a guy(or girl) who was either wrongfully put in jail for sexual assault or, even name dragged through the mud from false accusations.

If "known" includes known for professional reasons, both. On that one I am certain.

Winston said:

I'd like to get a sense of how common it is for men(or women) to be wrongfully accused of committing sexual assault, compared to how many men (or women) experience sexual assault.

How many of you have known at least one person who has been a victim of sexual assault..

or, how many of you have known someone to have been wrongfully accused of sexual assault,

or both.

Personally, I've known many women who have been raped. As I've aged it's become apparent to me that it is far more common than I thought when I was younger.

But, I've never met a guy(or girl) who was either wrongfully put in jail for sexual assault or, even name dragged through the mud from false accusations.

Click to expand...

Red:
If that be the nature of information you seek, a poll here is the wrong place to seek it.

The right place to look is on websites having credible tabulations of the outcomes of various sexual assault cases and how they are resolved. I'd suggest you start with the FBI's National Incident-Based Reporting System.

• Looking there, you'll find, for example that about seventy percent rape cases referred for prosecution result in convictions.

Another place to look is the DoJ's Female Victims of SexualViolence, 1994-2010 report or its Felony Defendants in Large Urban Counties report.

Winston said:

I'd like to get a sense of how common it is for men(or women) to be wrongfully accused of committing sexual assault, compared to how many men (or women) experience sexual assault.

How many of you have known at least one person who has been a victim of sexual assault..

or, how many of you have known someone to have been wrongfully accused of sexual assault,

or both.

Personally, I've known many women who have been raped. As I've aged it's become apparent to me that it is far more common than I thought when I was younger.

But, I've never met a guy(or girl) who was either wrongfully put in jail for sexual assault or, even name dragged through the mud from false accusations.

Click to expand...

Two of my girlfriends were sexually assaulted as children by older men. Neither involved penetrative sex. One was forced to watch with her friend as a man jumped out of the woods and exposed himself and the other was chased around a swimming pool and kissed against her will. Both have come out of it ok, but when they described the incidents to me it made a huge impression on me how horrified they were when reliving the trauma.

I've never known anyone falsely accused.

Several, and recent.

Most recently...a double doctorate chemist with an established family, great career, well known in the community...he woke up recently to learn that a girl from his Jr High days had posted that he (by name) had sexually assaulted her by pinning her to a wall and groping her breasts. She claimed it was horrific, traumatic, life altering. He was in shock. His position...he barely knew the girl but most importantly...he was scared to death of girls and didnt even go on his first date til he was a Sr in high school. I doubt anyone believed her, but nonetheless he immediately shut down all social media and became a hermit for a while.

I had 1...in 3000+ cases...crisis patient threaten to make allegations against me (there were certain medical conditions she wanted and figured if she couldnt get them legit, Id cave with the threat). She shut up quick after she started making her threats when I informed her first that I never responded to a call without a voice recorder going from the moment I hit the scene til the last of the paperwork is signed and second...after I asked the police officer that I had sitting next to me as a witness to the entire encounter that she didnt know was there to slide over a few feet and say hello.

That being said...I think it is a very rare (comparatively) occurrence where victims make false allegations. Historical data shows it is far more likely for an incident to go unreported at all than it is for someone to make a false and punitive allegation. I think there are some different situations where it is more likely...the woman scorned, the manipulative slightly mentally unstable types etc. I also think it is VERY possible for people to take a memory and fabricate circumstance around the memory to the point where it makes more sense, is traumatic...but also not real. We have seen it with first responders that go from vicarious trauma 'victims' to in their mind...eyewitnesses to the actual incident.

Mr Person said:

If "known" includes known for professional reasons, both. On that one I am certain.

Click to expand...

And, not to make light of it, but I suppose I could count myself as a victim of some very minor sexual crimes.



On the Hated "T" (MBTA subway), I've had my ass randomly smacked as I walked out amongst a crowd.

Then there was this ****ing weird time when I'm standing on the train facing the windows. Some woman gets on the train and stands to my left. Now, I'm holding onto the vertical bar near her. There's a kind of swinging loop thing hanging in front of my face that can also be grabbed on to when packed and/or people can use to help stand up. There's plenty of space on the vertical bar for many other people to grab. This woman presses against it so her breast is squashed against my hand while reaching across to grab the loop in front of me, then sort of moves back and forth so she's rubbing her breast on the back of my hand. So I stare at her for a bit, loudly say "what the **** are you doing?", and go to another side of the car. Not worth the hassle of a police report and testifying, but WTF was that?

In Spain, I was walking down a side-street and some old drunk dude on a bike stopped, leaned over, whipped his dick out, and peed in my general direction (from 20 feet away or whatever). So, indecent exposure, I suppose.




Still, about as minor as it gets.

Winston said:

I'd like to get a sense of how common it is for men(or women) to be wrongfully accused of committing sexual assault, compared to how many men (or women) experience sexual assault.

How many of you have known at least one person who has been a victim of sexual assault..

or, how many of you have known someone to have been wrongfully accused of sexual assault,

or both.

Personally, I've known many women who have been raped. As I've aged it's become apparent to me that it is far more common than I thought when I was younger.

But, I've never met a guy(or girl) who was either wrongfully put in jail for sexual assault or, even name dragged through the mud from false accusations.

Click to expand...

While rape is always sexual assault, sexual assault is not always rape. You want to make a point, know what you are talking about and then be clear about what you're getting at.

Truthfully, I doubt if you know "many women who have been raped." I believe your are exaggerating at the least and in doing so you diminish the values of the issues. Political pandering does that.

I've known both, albiet based on my best judgement in all cases of my belief in what they've claimed.

I've known a variety of women, some very close to me, that have been victims of sexual assault and/or rape.

I've also known two instances where a guy was, in my opinion, very likely falsely accused.

The first was a friend in college who I whole heartily believe was falsely accused of rape. The guy was notoriously shy and typically unwilling to make the first move. Was as stereotypical of a mellow stoner as opposed to an angry, aggressive type as you could get. Had been crushing hard on this girl for some time that seemed relatively outside of his league and outside of his normal social circle. Got to hang out with her one night and apparently things happened. The next day he was thrilled and had talked about how he thought they were possibly going to start dating and had made plans for later that evening. Meanwhile, as is apt with college, when word spread quickly that the dorky stoner kid had stayed over at her dorm room the previous night, she got ragged on a bit. The next thing we know, we're hearing that he "raped" her; that he coerced her to get high and took advantage of her without her consent. By the end of the situation he ended up dropping out of school, as it was near the end of a semester and it wasn't worth paying to come back the next semester when it was likely, given the way the university handled such cases, that he'd manage to win his case. Knowing people and having friends on both sides of that situation, knowing the attitudes and reactions before and after it, there's not a shadow of a doubt in my mind that this was an instance of the accusation being made for other reasons.

The second dealt with people that were a few years younger than me, that were around my sister's age and a little younger so she knew the boy decently well. 15 year old white girl, 16 year old black boy. They had been flirting together for quite some time. Got caught messing around at the gym he worked at during the summer. Her dad was the type that would be furious at his daughter messing with a black boy. She claimed he had forced/intimidated her into the act.

I'd say of the two kinds of instances, I know more women that have been victims of it than individuals who I believe were falsely accused.

More than half of my female friends have attested that at some point in their life they were sexually assaulted and I would estimate about a third said it was an older male relative.

One of my best friends in high school falsely accused a guy of raping her. She was at a party without her boyfriend. She very obviously went into a room with a guy and when the boyfriend found out, she said the guy raped her. It was a huge drama with everyone taking sides but she did not go to the police and eventually had to come clean when the witnesses confronted her about it all and after the dude's sister kicked her ass over it. The sad part is her little sister, who is handicapped, was actually raped a couple years after that but nothing happened because one of the police officers messed up the evidence and the report. Now that sucked.

Another time one of my cousins met a 15 year old girl who had a fake ID saying she was 18 and when her dad found them in bed she screamed rape. My cousin's life got completely ****ed up.

Based on my own experiences, I am always cautious when someone says something happened and it's she said/he said and the details are fuzzy.

americanwoman said:

More than half of my female friends have attested that at some point in their life they were sexually assaulted and I would estimate about a third said it was an older male relative.

One of my best friends in high school falsely accused a guy of raping her. She was at a party without her boyfriend. She very obviously went into a room with a guy and when the boyfriend found out, she said the guy raped her. It was a huge drama with everyone taking sides but she did not go to the police and eventually had to come clean when the witnesses confronted her about it all and after the dude's sister kicked her ass over it. The sad part is her little sister, who is handicapped, was actually raped a couple years after that but nothing happened because one of the police officers messed up the evidence and the report. Now that sucked.

Another time one of my cousins met a 15 year old girl who had a fake ID saying she was 18 and when her dad found them in bed she screamed rape. My cousin's life got completely ****ed up.

Based on my own experiences, I am always cautious when someone says something happened and it's she said/he said and the details are fuzzy.

Click to expand...

We recently had a deployed servicemembers wife come in to the ER wanting to file a 'Restricted' sexual assault report (that is an option for the military under the SHARP guidelines). Thing got a little crazy when the hospitals SANE nurse reported the alleged rape (because she didnt know about the Military exemption and at the time all ER visits that were a product of an alleged criminal act were reported). The spouse had gone to a party with some friends while her husband was deployed and at some point ended up hooking up with a guy at the party. They got caught. Rather than admit she did it (which was IMO a forgivable act- Long separations coupled with alcohol can help good people make bad decisions) she claimed she was drunk, didnt know what she was doing, didnt give consent. She didnt want an investigation because she wanted to be able to tell her husband it happened (because word would get out eventually) but that it wasnt her fault. Because of the report by the SANE nurse, the other party got dragged into it and it got very ugly before she admitted it was consensual.

Talking about this brings up all kinds of accounts now. Another married soldier was at the club partying with everyone and was behaving very flirtatiously. inappropriate...but really...no harm, no foul. She lived on post and she and one of the other soldiers she had been grab assing with walked home and on the way SOMETHING happened. We dont really know what. They ended up with him on top of her on someones lawn, a light came on, a door got opened, she screamed GET OFF ME!!! and voila...Sexual assault charges were filed.

During the mandatory annual SHARP training we reinforce to Servicemembers these days...not a drop. Dont have a drop of alcohol and dont go home with someone that has had a drop of alcohol if your plan at some point is to end up in some form of physical contact. Even a drop of alcohol in todays culture removes all responsibility from the complaining party and allows them to claim impairment.

BUT..these ARE the extreme cases. For every case like those I would guess 100 similar experiences with ACTUAL victims go unreported.

VanceMack said:

We recently had a deployed servicemembers wife come in to the ER wanting to file a 'Restricted' sexual assault report (that is an option for the military under the SHARP guidelines). Thing got a little crazy when the hospitals SANE nurse reported the alleged rape (because she didnt know about the Military exemption and at the time all ER visits that were a product of an alleged criminal act were reported). The spouse had gone to a party with some friends while her husband was deployed and at some point ended up hooking up with a guy at the party. They got caught. Rather than admit she did it (which was IMO a forgivable act- Long separations coupled with alcohol can help good people make bad decisions) she claimed she was drunk, didnt know what she was doing, didnt give consent. She didnt want an investigation because she wanted to be able to tell her husband it happened (because word would get out eventually) but that it wasnt her fault. Because of the report by the SANE nurse, the other party got dragged into it and it got very ugly before she admitted it was consensual.

Talking about this brings up all kinds of accounts now. Another married soldier was at the club partying with everyone and was behaving very flirtatiously. inappropriate...but really...no harm, no foul. She lived on post and she and one of the other soldiers she had been grab assing with walked home and on the way SOMETHING happened. We dont really know what. They ended up with him on top of her on someones lawn, a light came on, a door got opened, she screamed GET OFF ME!!! and voila...Sexual assault charges were filed.

During the mandatory annual SHARP training we reinforce to Servicemembers these days...not a drop. Dont have a drop of alcohol and dont go home with someone that has had a drop of alcohol if your plan at some point is to end up in some form of physical contact. Even a drop of alcohol in todays culture removes all responsibility from the complaining party and allows them to claim impairment.

BUT..these ARE the extreme cases. For every case like those I would guess 100 similar experiences with ACTUAL victims go unreported.

Click to expand...

I didn't know anything about any SHARP guidelines, so that was interesting to learn something about them. Yes, the ones we know about are extreme, as I said I only personally know of two when there are hundreds of actual cases but it's when you know about the couple extreme ones and see what it does to someone personally it makes me want to have better investigations and not just take someone's word it happened. I know that sucks because in many of these cases it is he said/she said about what really went down and without much more then that it does get ugly until the truth comes out if it ever does. I can see that here - in the BK case if you don't fully believe her you must support rape or something.

Should add an option for "Know a woman who was sexually assaulted and nothing happened"

Winston said:

I'd like to get a sense of how common it is for men(or women) to be wrongfully accused of committing sexual assault, compared to how many men (or women) experience sexual assault.

How many of you have known at least one person who has been a victim of sexual assault..

or, how many of you have known someone to have been wrongfully accused of sexual assault,

or both.

Personally, I've known many women who have been raped. As I've aged it's become apparent to me that it is far more common than I thought when I was younger.

But, I've never met a guy(or girl) who was either wrongfully put in jail for sexual assault or, even name dragged through the mud from false accusations.

Click to expand...

I know women in my personal life who have been the victims of sexual assault. And like, Mr. Person, being a family law attorney, I have known women in my professional capacity who were the victims of sexual assault as well, and men who were falsely accused of engaging in sexual assault for seemingly cynically-motivated reasons (almost always for purposes of the mother obtaining child custody). That having been said, I have also known some men who actually engaged in severe sexual misconduct.

americanwoman said:

I didn't know anything about any SHARP guidelines, so that was interesting to learn something about them. Yes, the ones we know about are extreme, as I said I only personally know of two when there are hundreds of actual cases but it's when you know about the couple extreme ones and see what it does to someone personally it makes me want to have better investigations and not just take someone's word it happened. I know that sucks because in many of these cases it is he said/she said about what really went down and without much more then that it does get ugly until the truth comes out if it ever does. I can see that here - in the BK case if you don't fully believe her you must support rape or something.

Click to expand...

The discussions have really kind of dusted off 'insight' for me regarding my own past. I just wrote a page of things that just came flowing out...but probably are not OK for public dialogue. Just...helps me realize I still have some thinking to do.

Winston said:

I'd like to get a sense of how common it is for men(or women) to be wrongfully accused of committing sexual assault, compared to how many men (or women) experience sexual assault.

How many of you have known at least one person who has been a victim of sexual assault..

or, how many of you have known someone to have been wrongfully accused of sexual assault,

or both.

Personally, I've known many women who have been raped. As I've aged it's become apparent to me that it is far more common than I thought when I was younger.

But, I've never met a guy(or girl) who was either wrongfully put in jail for sexual assault or, even name dragged through the mud from false accusations.

Click to expand...

I've known both, though more of the former than the latter that I can think of offhand.

STRICTLY anecdotally, increasingly the latter seems to be something that pops up in divorce proceedings, especially when fights over custody get ugly. I've also seen it when a woman wants either revenge for getting fired, or wants to preempt it.

I’ve known more victims of sexual assault than I can count. I can think of two instances in which I knew for a fact a man was false accused. Both were when Imwas stationed overseas.

Winston said:

I'd like to get a sense of how common it is for men(or women) to be wrongfully accused of committing sexual assault, compared to how many men (or women) experience sexual assault.

Click to expand...

My data.
I am 46 years old, and no one I know has ever told me about being falsely accused of sexual assault.
I have been falsely accused once for non-sexual assault, by a girl I unintentionally insulted. Even without the sexual aspect, it was a terrible experience (hitting girls was not cool where I grew up), and even though we were just 16 years old, to this day if I accidentally think of her, I reflexively hope she has an unhappy life filled with misfortune.

Exactly half the women I've been in steady relationships with (1+ years) have told me they were raped at some point in their lives.
Only two were incest, nearly all the rest involved alcohol, and none were attacked by complete strangers. Quite a few were teens who were taken advantage of by older guys they had crushes on, and in some cases didn't consider it "real" rape, even though legally it was. The rest was mostly by partners or ex-partners, usually within short time of a breakup. One was a gang rape by three boys who thought she consented, when in actuality she froze (freezing up also seems to be a common thing).
There were three occasions when I was a little kid where old, male pedophiles tried to take advantage of me (one great-uncle, two strangers), luckily without succeeding, and there were two times when I was a teen where older women did succeed (which I didn't mind).

Why would it matter who we’ve known? Knee jerk reactions are better if personal?

[h=1]Wrongfully Jailed For Rape As A Teen, He Now Helps Others Falsely Convicted [/h]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOxUVBrXtzk

Banks still doesn’t know her reasoning for selling him down the river when she knew they never had sex and there was no DNA trace on her underwear. Maybe it was the $1.5 million she collected from the Long Beach school system, claiming it was an unsafe environment (the city is trying to recoup $2.6 million from her now). Banks thinks maybe Gibson was afraid her older sister, who went to the same high school, would find out she made out with him and tell her mother. Or that he would brag to friends. Maybe she thought he would just be suspended. He doesn’t think she was trying to put him in jail. He also thinks perhaps a school security guard saw her leaving the stairwell with him, asked what she was doing and if she wanted to do it.

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/banks-wrongfully-convicted-rape/

How much Democrat Super Hero and monetary gain will Dr. Ford get out of this?

What was she trying to make an excuse for when she first brought this up on marriage counseling?

Yes to both poll questions. Many times both.

There are PILES of motives for Dr. Ford to lie that do not normally apply in such accusations:

1. There usually is no hero status attached to such an accusation
2. She brought it up in marriage counseling, for which the list of possible motives is almost endless
3. She is openly very anti-Trump, including believing opposing Trump (and his SCOTUS nominee) will protect immigrant children
4. She is a #MeToo-er, and needs a Me Too story
5. She wrote EIGHT promotional pieces for a mega billion dollar drug company that makes the abortion pill - for which a Kavanaugh appointment may cost her huge income
6. She can now forever live a pity party
7. She can make money - lots of money - off a book

There is RARELY economic and personal benefits to a rape victim making accusation against someone. There are piles of personal benefit, partisan and ideological crusader motives for Dr. Ford to make up an assault story.

Winston said:

I'd like to get a sense of how common it is for men(or women) to be wrongfully accused of committing sexual assault, compared to how many men (or women) experience sexual assault.

How many of you have known at least one person who has been a victim of sexual assault..

or, how many of you have known someone to have been wrongfully accused of sexual assault,

or both.

Personally, I've known many women who have been raped. As I've aged it's become apparent to me that it is far more common than I thought when I was younger.

But, I've never met a guy(or girl) who was either wrongfully put in jail for sexual assault or, even name dragged through the mud from false accusations.

Click to expand...

Nice anecdotal poll. In other words, you are trying to prove that anyone and everyone who makes an allegation is telling the truth. Since the advent of the MeToo movement, we have moved well beyond any factual trials finding guilt or innocence. It's all a case of destroying someone's career or life by mere accusations alone. In Ford's case we have these facts:

1. she was a 15 year old drunk at a supposed party that no one else seems to remember 35 years ago. Not only are a sober 15 year old's memories suspect at the time but a drunk 15 year old's memories are suspect at the time, and a drunk 15 year old's memories are surely suspect after 35 years.

2. According to her the only witnesses were herself, Kavanaugh, Mark Judge, and "PJ", all three of whom have no recollection similar to hers or just outright deny it.

3. This lady has grown up to be an anti-Trump liberal activist who attended the million woman pro-abortion rally in March of 2017.

4. There is no downside to her lying because since it is a he said, she said where nothing can be proven, no one can prove that she is lying so there are zero consequences to her for even lying under oath.


This is merely the assassin's mind in thinking they can assassinate someone for the greater good of all mankind (in their mind) and, in this case, she doesn't even have to worry about paying any price because no one can prove she is committing perjury because no one can prove anything.

I have been both.

As a child, I was molested by some older teen boys down the street (I was under 10). It happened many times, but I was always too scared to tell anyone. As a child, as wrong as this thought process is, I was convinced I would be in trouble if anyone found out. I didn't tell a soul until nearly two decades later.

A few years back, I was also accused of sexually assaulting my ex-boyfriend (who claimed it happened while we dated). It never involved the police or a criminal charge, but it did ruin my reputation with a few friends. It was nearly a year before he finally fessed up to lying. The entire time he and I had been dating, he had (unbeknownst to me) been involved in a long-term relationship with someone else. I was the "other man," so to speak, and didn't know it. When he boyfriend found out that he and I had been having sex, my ex accused me of raping him. He was trying to save his own reputation and relationship at the expense of my reputation. He only admitted the truth after his boyfriend dumped him for cheating on him with yet another guy.