• This is a political forum that is non-biased/non-partisan and treats every person's position on topics equally. This debate forum is not aligned to any political party. In today's politics, many ideas are split between and even within all the political parties. Often we find ourselves agreeing on one platform but some topics break our mold. We are here to discuss them in a civil political debate. If this is your first visit to our political forums, be sure to check out the RULES. Registering for debate politics is necessary before posting. Register today to participate - it's free!

Would infertility end your marriage?

Would you end your marriage for infertility?

  • Yes, if either me or spouse/fiance infertile.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Yes, but only if spouse/fiance infertile.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Yes, but only if I am infertile.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • No.

    Votes: 32 100.0%
  • Total voters
    32
I know someone who married and wasn't told by her spouse that he couldn't have children. He knew that she wanted children too. As a result they couldn't make the marriage work and ending up divorcing.
 
<alt>doxygen said:
No. I have seen couples who wanted kids but had trouble getting preggers adjust using adoption and/or donor eggs.

I didn't have a particular interest in having kids and neither did my wife. We accepted that if a kid "happened", we would adjust to being parents.
Click to expand...

Read up on "snowflake babies".
 
faithful_servant said:
Read up on "snowflake babies".
Click to expand...

I'm aware of that movement and applaud people who live up to their ideology like that.

My sister in law had to do IV, but it wasn't via a snowflake. I have other friends who've chosen to adopt. Interestingly, following one of the adoptions the couple succeeded in getting pregnant and having their own child. All is well.
 
Spartacus FPV said:
Why get married if you're not going to have kids? This is something you should have checked beforehand.
Click to expand...

You sure that is how you wanted to ask that question? It makes it sound like the only reason for marriage is having kids, and that is clearly not the case.
 
OrphanSlug said:
You sure that is how you wanted to ask that question? It makes it sound like the only reason for marriage is having kids, and that is clearly not the case.
Click to expand...

People can wed for whatever reason they want. I regard the institution of marriage as one for raising children, otherwise, at least "for a man, its a terrible deal that you shouldn't sign." - Dave Chappelle

roguenuke said:
Why? Many people get married because they love each other, regardless of whether they can have children. Most in fact.
Click to expand...

You can spend your life with the person you love without getting the government involved.

roguenuke said:
Are you suggesting that infertile people should never be allowed to marry?
Click to expand...

As in prevent them? No I am not suggesting that at all, just asking "what's the point?"
 
roguenuke said:
So, this comes up sometimes pertaining to why people get married and figured might as well ask it.

Would you end your marriage, file for divorce or not get married (if engaged), if you found out your spouse (fiance) or even you were infertile? And while I understand that sometimes there are cases where someone lied/hid their infertility, please assume that they didn't hide anything from you and told when they found out.

Please explain choice.
Click to expand...
Just for the record, i am coming at this from a point where I can no longer have children of my own (surgery).

As a poly, this is not as much of an issue for me as it would be for many who are monogamous. Even if I cannot have children of my own anymore, any children by one of my mates would be treated as my own, as well as theirs. Even if the situation were reversed, and I was capable and she wasn't, there are my other mates.

That said, even if all involved were incapable of having children, we could always adopt and/or foster.

Sent from my Z982 using Tapatalk
 
trixare4kids said:
I know someone who married and wasn't told by her spouse that he couldn't have children. He knew that she wanted children too. As a result they couldn't make the marriage work and ending up divorcing.
Click to expand...
Did he know going into the marriage that he couldn't have kids and hid that from her?

Sent from my Z982 using Tapatalk
 
maquiscat said:
Did he know going into the marriage that he couldn't have kids and hid that from her?

Sent from my Z982 using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

He sure did!
 
trixare4kids said:
He sure did!
Click to expand...
That can be a whole other issue than the inability to have kids. If he told her from the beginning she might still have married him and they just looked at adoption or other methods. With this situation is he issue his lack of honesty with her or his inability to have kids?

Sent from my Z982 using Tapatalk
 
roguenuke said:
So, this comes up sometimes pertaining to why people get married and figured might as well ask it.

Would you end your marriage, file for divorce or not get married (if engaged), if you found out your spouse (fiance) or even you were infertile? And while I understand that sometimes there are cases where someone lied/hid their infertility, please assume that they didn't hide anything from you and told when they found out.

Please explain choice.
Click to expand...

I suppose that sort of thing should be laid out in a prenup. I think you'd have to be kind of a dick to divorce your spouse because they became infertile, but if you spelled out in advance that you wanted to pass your genes on, then yeah, I suppose you could do that. That said, if you're the kind of person who would divorce the person you married over that, it's probably for the best that you free up your spouse to be with a better person than yourself.
 
maquiscat said:
That can be a whole other issue than the inability to have kids. If he told her from the beginning she might still have married him and they just looked at adoption or other methods. With this situation is he issue his lack of honesty with her or his inability to have kids?

Sent from my Z982 using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

Lack of honesty about his not being able to have kids. Had she known this beforehand, she wouldn't have married him. She's remarried now and has children.
 
trixare4kids said:
Lack of honesty about his not being able to have kids. Had she known this beforehand, she wouldn't have married him. She's remarried now and has children.
Click to expand...
Maybe she wouldn't have but there are women who would have married him regardless because he had been up-front but left him due to dishonesty. That is my point, that the infertility in and of itself might not be as much of an issue as the failure to disclose it.

Sent from my Z982 using Tapatalk
 
Risky Thicket said:
Me too. Except for sitting around for three days with bags of frozen peas on my nuts having a vasectomy is a good thing.
Click to expand...

I have a younger brother that is testament to the fact that vasectomies are NOT perfectly reliable. :lamo
 
PirateMk1 said:
I have a younger brother that is testament to the fact that vasectomies are NOT perfectly reliable. :lamo
Click to expand...

How does your father know that the vasectomy didn't work just fine?
 
Cardinal said:
How do your father know that the vasectomy didn't work just fine?
Click to expand...

You think tests weren't done? Little bro is pops child. :lamo That was a WTF blindside moment for both mom and pops. :lamo

They had tests done to make sure that little bro was ok and viable, as "leakers" tend to have much high rates of problems. And yes vasectomies are NOT 100% just 99.99999%.
 
PirateMk1 said:
You think tests weren't done? Little bro is pops child. :lamo That was a WTF blindside moment for both mom and pops. :lamo

They had tests done to make sure that little bro was ok and viable, as "leakers" tend to have much high rates of problems. And yes vasectomies are NOT 100% just 99.99999%.
Click to expand...

I was making a ha-ha. I saw an opening and I took it.
 
americanwoman said:
No, of course not and if my partner wanted a divorce for that reason, I'd be glad to be rid of someone like that.
Click to expand...

Absolutely .... though you can imagine how worthless someone like that would make his partner feel before he called it quits. Hoping all such women out there are strong enough to realize how lucky they are to be rid of someone who doesn't value them beyond their potential as a baby-making machine.

And the children she couldn't bring into the world are luckier too for not having such a man as their father.



Edit: I apologize for my implicit assumption that it would be the man who would kick the mate out for infertility. I identified too closely with that scenario.
 
Spartacus FPV said:
People can wed for whatever reason they want. I regard the institution of marriage as one for raising children, otherwise, at least "for a man, its a terrible deal that you shouldn't sign." - Dave Chappelle

You can spend your life with the person you love without getting the government involved.

As in prevent them? No I am not suggesting that at all, just asking "what's the point?"
Click to expand...

We live in a society where people interact with others, where there is legal documentation required for many things, including important aspects of our lives, health, even deaths. Creating a legal kinship is the most efficient way to establish legal rights (a certain group of them) between people. This is part of our society and we have huge amount of laws based on these rights (Family Leave Act comes to mind here). There are also some responsibilities as well. That is the point of getting the legal marriage, to establish that legal kinship, as proof to the world that you both want that kinship to be legally recognized.

They do not have to get the legal paperwork if they don't want to, but everyone regardless of whether they can or can't, do or don't have or raise children should be legally able to establish that legal kinship.
 
If I was engaged or married and found out then no, however I likely wouldn't date someone any longer if they told me. The only possible way I would divorce/break engagement would be if she knew the entire time and did not tell me up front, but then it is no longer about infertility and then about trust.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom