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Children - Are They Worth It?

Children - Are They Worth It?

  • Yes

    Votes: 41 75.9%
  • No

    Votes: 9 16.7%
  • Other

    Votes: 4 7.4%

  • Total voters
    54
I messed up and meant for the votes to be public. Can a Mod change that? Not sure.

I voted "Yes," but I've never been able to see who voted for what after I cast my vote anyway. I can click "See Results" only before I vote and then see the names of those who voted, but after I vote, it defaults to just the bar graph and the numbers.
 
Man part of me can't wait to be a dad and the other part of me thinks about all the other cool **** I could do in my life if I didn't have to spend the whole middle part of it raising kids. More and more people I know are foregoing having kids (for now, anyway). Many simply can't afford it, others feel like the worlds not a great place to bring a kid into these days, and some just don't like the idea of raising kids (or some combination of the three).

I love being a dad and I love being a granddad. I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
 
You know, just look at "This Is Us" to see how unfun parenting can be.

Not that it's not worth it to most people, nobody says it's supposed to be fun or even all positive, but in general, I'd say it's 50-50 in parenting...good times and bad and just plain drudge....and maybe it all depends on how it turns out when they're adults, how parents end up feeling about it.

Oh, and I voted No. Am 57 and never regretted it. As I look around at other families, other kids, the odds dont look great that I would have ended up happy having them. And I do understand that a good part of that would have been dependent on myself and partner.
 
we're currently planning to expand our family. neither of us have kids yet. i hope that an introverted dude like me can be a good dad.

Huh, I dont know why but I thought you were a woman. Guess I wasnt very observant of your profile.

Good luck with your budding family.
 
Nah. Got fixed some years ago when I finally found a doctor who would do it on a childfree woman, and it's still the best money I've ever spent. Never been something I've found remotely appealing, for whatever reason. People have been telling me I'll change my mind forever (and they're constantly upping the age marker for when that's supposed to happen as I grow older and keep missing them), but here I am, still completely disinterested in the idea.

And the older I get, the more I also think it was the right call for my ethics. Even if I were to wake up one day with a total personality transplant that made child-rearing seem anything more than boring at best, I would feel it pretty questionable to create one of my own with the current world situation. I'd much rather adopt instead, in the event of said personality transplant.

But at this point, I think the people insisting I'm going to have a personality transplant might need a new crystal ball. Clearly whatever one they're using for their current predictions isn't working properly.

It is SO annoying when people presume and tell you you'll regret it someday.

One thing they often say is..."but who will take care of you when you're old?"

Back when we were considering having kids, I asked my mother that. And she's a nurse and was doing a stretch at a nursing home.

She said, "No, because there's no guarantee they will."

And we both agreed that that's a pretty selfish reason to have kids.
 
What are your thoughts?

Children - Are They Worth It?

The time. The money. The Effort. The caring. The mess. The poopy diapers.

I certainly hope so because without them our species will cease to exist in the grand scheme of things.

Due to our distinct human uniqueness in the animal kingdom, we are the only species given the option to choose our future instead of instinctively just choosing the best option for the immediate moment. As such, despite some accidents or unusual or forced circumstances or ulterior motives along the way, many if not most of us women, hopefully as a team with the father, will emotionally choose to bear children. It just seems right to do so.

But rather than just go with the instinct to nurture and protect those children in the immediate, we also emotionally envision and do our best to promote a bright future for those children. And for our children to enjoy success in their own right as adults gives us a strong satisfaction.

Are they are huge responsibility and a lot of work and involve worry, anger, disappointment, resentment, fatigue, and all other negative emotions? Yes they are, not only when they are babies but also when they are grown. Are they worth it? For me that is a resounding yes as they also involve unconditional love, amusement, accomplishment, companionship, love, respect, caring, pride, hope, comfort, and all other positive emotions.
 
I certainly hope so because without them our species will cease to exist in the grand scheme of things.

Nothing personal to you meant by this but I could not care less if humans disappeared from the earth after I was gone.
 
I think there is a certain amount of visceral satisfaction from seeing your children grow into
adults that you respect and can have a conversation with.
Grand children are even better than children!
 
Nothing personal to you meant by this but I could not care less if humans disappeared from the earth after I was gone.

That's kind of sad though. I like to think about all the great things humankind, especially my children, grandchildren and beyond, will be accomplishing after I am gone and can in a very small, unimportant way, will be able to say I participated in that. Also enjoy the satisfaction that I envisioned some of that when I was here. And I hope we get to watch after we are done here on Earth. :)
 
I think there is a certain amount of visceral satisfaction from seeing your children grow into
adults that you respect and can have a conversation with.
Grand children are even better than children!

For sure it is most gratifying and also a relief when the kids turn out to be people we can look up to and respect. And yes, we are not so responsible for those grand kids so we can just enjoy them and then spoil them without having all the other work. :)
 
That's kind of sad though. I like to think about all the great things humankind, especially my children, grandchildren and beyond, will be accomplishing after I am gone and can in a very small, unimportant way, will be able to say I participated in that. Also enjoy the satisfaction that I envisioned some of that when I was here. And I hope we get to watch after we are done here on Earth. :)

I imagine the entire rest of our beautiful planet cheering for joy.
 
I voted "Yes," but I've never been able to see who voted for what after I cast my vote anyway. I can click "See Results" only before I vote and then see the names of those who voted, but after I vote, it defaults to just the bar graph and the numbers.

You can click on the number of votes to the right of the question (if it is set up to show votes) and it will show the page displaying who voted for what.
 
What are your thoughts?

Children - Are They Worth It?

The time. The money. The Effort. The caring. The mess. The poopy diapers.
We will spend our time doing one thing or another, what better way is there to spend your time then educating and raising a child of your own?
The money? Ahh, its next to nothing in the long run. Don't get me wrong, there is an expense, but never ever a cost. Every cent I've ever spent on the children in my life I've gotten back with pure joy 10 fold.

The caring, what is more worthy of your caring then a child? I have hobbies, I play guitar, love my stereo and my boat, but I don't care for any of them the way I do for the kids in my life, it's not even close.

The Mess, the Poop? When you have a child and that baby poops on you it is the most beautiful thing in the world, what's the big deal? You get up, step into the shower and wash off, it's your child, you love and embrace that child and experience, it's a memory you'll have forever, it's a story you'll share for years to come.

I never wanted children, my father was abusive, one day my wife changed her mind and wanted "something more", we couldn't conceive so we went through the foster care route. (If you have doubts I highly recommend it)

After losing the first child we cared for (her maternal grand mother took her in) we received another child at the age of 3 days old. Almost 9 months to the day the adoption was final and we had our daughter, she is now 8 years old and I wouldn't trade 1 second of it ever. Sure it's trying, nerve wracking, and you want to pull your hair out at times, but the love you get back in return for just being there is uncountable.

PM me if you'd like any details, being a parent is the bomb! I went into it thinking I was done, it was only last Friday I thanked my wife for showing me what true love really is.
 
My son was born when I just turned 19, it was tough trying to figure out my future and be a dad for him... I had many ups and downs, and got my **** together. Its cool to have a son!
 
What are your thoughts?

Children - Are They Worth It?

The time. The money. The Effort. The caring. The mess. The poopy diapers.

Hell no. There's a reason kids don't arrive until 9 months after having a good time. If people had understood the cause and effect any sooner, we'd be extinct by now.
 
we're currently planning to expand our family. neither of us have kids yet. i hope that an introverted dude like me can be a good dad.

Hoping you can be a good dad is the sign of a good dad, homie. We all **** our kids up in one way or another, just like our parents did to us, it's inevitable, and we need to be honest about it. But a good parent tries their hardest anyway, and is honest about the short comings. Looks like you've got the right stuff. :)



Oh, and for the poll, I voted yes. It's most certainly worth it.
 
I imagine the entire rest of our beautiful planet cheering for joy.

I suppose it is possible that some will be glad that you or I are gone. But I also am quite aware that any of us can be somebody's inspiration or hero, unbeknownst to us. I do not take that responsibility lightly. And it is a rare person who nobody loves at all.
 
I suppose it is possible that some will be glad that you or I are gone. But I also am quite aware that any of us can be somebody's inspiration or hero, unbeknownst to us. I do not take that responsibility lightly. And it is a rare person who nobody loves at all.

My statement had nothing to do with being in love or being loved. :thinking
 
What are your thoughts?

Children - Are They Worth It?

The time. The money. The Effort. The caring. The mess. The poopy diapers.


There is no job so difficult, so all-consuming, and sometimes heartbreaking, as "parent".

There is also nothing more rewarding, fulfilling and wonderous in all the world.
 
we're currently planning to expand our family. neither of us have kids yet. i hope that an introverted dude like me can be a good dad.

My hubby is strongly introverted and is an excellent dad. No worries. You will bring a kind of strength to the relationship that us strongly extraverted types sometimes cannot.
 
Mine, however, did. :)

If you were expressing a hope that we'll all leave together, that is a noble wish. But. . .I think since we can't count on that in this generation, we need to live as though how we live now will benefit those who will live on after us.

You are reading way more into my statement than is there. I was speaking to something after I was gone. ANd who cares when 'we all go?" Nice thought but that wont happen.

I imagine a planet without humans would be just fine and dandy.
 
Huh, I dont know why but I thought you were a woman. Guess I wasnt very observant of your profile.

Good luck with your budding family.

thanks! i appreciate it.
 
You are reading way more into my statement than is there. I was speaking to something after I was gone. ANd who cares when 'we all go?" Nice thought but that wont happen.

I imagine a planet without humans would be just fine and dandy.

Oh I'm sure we are thinking of different things here. But I do love people and care about what happens to them. And since we are the ONLY species given cognizant ability to know and care about what happens to any other species or others of our own species elsewhere, I think there is room on the planet for us too.

And it would give me great comfort to know that after all we went through, the good, the bad, the terrifying, the exhilarating, with our children and the generation(s) to follow them, to know that they will also see purpose and joy in living.
 
It is SO annoying when people presume and tell you you'll regret it someday.

One thing they often say is..."but who will take care of you when you're old?"

Back when we were considering having kids, I asked my mother that. And she's a nurse and was doing a stretch at a nursing home.

She said, "No, because there's no guarantee they will."

And we both agreed that that's a pretty selfish reason to have kids.

Yup. I always wonder if the people who ask that question are just oblivious to the fact that this country is filled with nursing homes, and overwhelmingly, they're full of people who have kids, since most of those people are of an age where you either couldn't get birth control at all, or couldn't get it without your husband signing off.

So... seems to me that there's no guarantee anyone's gonna take care of you whether you reproduce or not. To me, it seems like a much smarter idea to plan for that eventuality than to just assume someone else will take care of it for you and wind up in some kind of dump when it turns out you're wrong.

And since I won't have kids, I'll have a lot more money to plan with. :lol:

But yeah, that selfishness of that question is also utterly disgusting, honestly. Your children are not your slaves. They don't exist to wait on you, and if you think they do, you probably aren't the kind of person who has any business raising kids in the first place.
 
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