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Should male victims of family violence get help and protection?

Should male DV victims get help/protection?

  • Yes -- equal protection to women

    Votes: 45 95.7%

  • Some protection

    Votes: 2 4.3%

  • No -- these men are mostly abusers

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    47
Howler63 said:
Any man who takes an ass whipping from his wife or girlfriend, isn't much of a man.
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You gonna just punch her and knock her out then? :lol: What a tool.
 
Bodhisattva said:
It was funny... non-stop comedy gold. :lol:
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The female abusers should of course be put into eternal servitude as sex slaves forced to show up at the door nude with slippers and pipe in hand. Dinner ready by 5pm daily. :mrgreen:
 
American said:
The female abusers should of course be put into eternal servitude as sex slaves forced to show up at the door nude with slippers and pipe in hand. Dinner ready by 5pm daily. :mrgreen:
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In sexy underwear actually... then a strip tease with dinner, a cognac and a pipe.
 
Howler63 said:
You could use a tool. If you have to. But what a man should do is get up and walk away. For ever. Start over, and never look back.

That's what a MAN would do.
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A MAN tries to help his wife get better and do what is best for his children. That is what a MAN does... what a ***** does is walk away and never look back.
 
Women are at least as abusive as men are now, and I think a lot more.
 
Bodhisattva said:
A MAN tries to help his wife get better and do what is best for his children. That is what a MAN does... what a ***** does is walk away and never look back.
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WRONG.

How can you help your wife and provide for your children when you're getting your ***** ass kicked?

Any man who stays with someone who hits him, is not much of a man at all. He's more of a cuckold.
 
Howler63 said:
WRONG.

How can you help your wife and provide for your children when you're getting your ***** ass kicked?

Any man who stays with someone who hits him, is not much of a man at all. He's more of a cuckold.
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Who says he is getting his ass kicked, Tool? That is your stupid assumption. ...and leaving you children to an unstable person who gets 50% custody and has them alone during that custody is not helping your children... my god, just think for a second before you yap another stupid thought.
 
Bodhisattva said:
Who says he is getting his ass kicked, Tool? That is your stupid assumption. ...and leaving you children to an unstable person who gets 50% custody and has them alone during that custody is not helping your children... my god, just think for a second before you yap another stupid thought.
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We are talking about a man being hit by a woman, correct? Let me be clear. IF YOU ARE GETTING HIT BY A WOMAN, AND YOU STAY WITH THAT WOMAN YOU ARE A *****, CUCKOLD, BETA MALE WHO SHOULD GROW SOME BALLS AND LEAVE THAT BITCH.

Now, can I be any more clear than that?

Also, have we thrown civility out the window with this subject or would you like to reign in the name calling?
 
Hawkeye10 said:
Women are at least as abusive as men are now, and I think a lot more.
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How many men in relationships get beat within an inch of their life by their wife or girlfriend? Compare that to the number of women that happens to.
 
Howler63 said:
Now, can I be any more clear than that?

Also, have we thrown civility out the window with this subject or would you like to reign in the name calling?
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:lol:

I am just being a dick for fun, to be honest. I apologize and retract my dickesness...

..see below post 63

We are talking about a man being hit by a woman, correct? Let me be clear. IF YOU ARE GETTING HIT BY A WOMAN, AND YOU STAY WITH THAT WOMAN YOU ARE A *****, CUCKOLD, BETA MALE WHO SHOULD GROW SOME BALLS AND LEAVE THAT BITCH.
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I agree. An abused person should leave.
 
SouthernDemocrat said:
How many men in relationships get beat within an inch of their life by their wife or girlfriend? Compare that to the number of women that happens to.
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Guys get cuts that can lead to an infection though... dude, at least THINK before yapping.
 
Henrin said:
It's been known for a few years know that women are actually more violent and coercive in relationships.

Surprise?
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Really?

And where is your link to unbiased proof of this?

Since it is 'known', then you should have lots of links to back up your claim.

Sounds like an 'old man's tale' to me. It could be true, but I personally doubt it.

I very rarely hear of men getting physically abused by their wives/girlfriends...certainly not remotely as much as the reverse.


Imo, how coercive someone is impossible to measure.

And even if women are more violent then men (which I doubt)...big deal (compared to the reverse). Considering the average women is FAR weaker then the average man, unless the average man just stands there and takes it (or the women uses a weapon), I am not too concerned about an average woman being violent to average men.
If a woman who is 50% weaker then me starts slapping me for some silly reason (not that I have ever been slapped), I can just walk away if I wish and she cannot stop me (unless she is armed somehow).
But if I start slapping her, if I don't want her to walk away, I can easily physically stop her (all other things being equal).

Women being violent is still very wrong. But it is, imo, a tiny fraction of the problem of men being violent.
 
SouthernDemocrat said:
How many men in relationships get beat within an inch of their life by their wife or girlfriend? Compare that to the number of women that happens to.
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Women are much more emotionally abusive, which is very damaging to men. It is the intent to harm that I measure, not physical injuries. However, it is well known that women physically attack men more often than the other way around, that women more often have the more serious injuries because men are bigger. It is not mens fault that they are bigger, the fair thing to do is to count the attacks, not injuries.

Physical violence

More men than women were victims of intimate partner physical violence within the past year, according to a national study funded by the Centers for Disease Control and U.S. Department of Justice. According to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (hereinafter NISVS) released in December, 2011, within the last 12 months an estimated 5,365,000 men and 4,741,000 women were victims of intimate partner physical violence. (Black, M.C. et al., 2011, Tables 4.1 and 4.2) 1 This finding contrasts to the earlier National Violence Against Women Survey (Tjaden, P. G., & Thoennes, N., 2000)(hereinafter NVAWS), which estimated that 1.2 million women and 835,000 men were victims of intimate partner physical violence in the preceding 12 months. (One-year prevalence “are considered to be more accurate [than lifetime rates] because they do not depend on recall of events long past” (Straus, 2005, p. 60))
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CDC Study: More Men than Women Victims of Partner Abuse » SAVE: Stop Abusive and Violent Environments

The men get the worst of it. Instead of bashing men we should praise them for their restraint, for not slugging bitches who have attacked them.
 
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Bodhisattva said:
A MAN tries to help his wife get better and do what is best for his children. That is what a MAN does... what a ***** does is walk away and never look back.
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Well he should probably pull his children out of that abusive environment.
 
American said:
Well he should probably pull his children out of that abusive environment.
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In America the courts rarely help, because far too many women lied about their exes being abusive. It is very hard now for one parent to deprive the other of their parental rights, so there is not "taking the children out of an abusive environment", there can only be "ending that abusive environment". Then one or both parents likely will get into new abusive environments.

Playing the savior is fun, but it rarely works.
 
American said:
Well he should probably pull his children out of that abusive environment.
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Tough to impossible to do when social welfare won't do anything about it...
 
Hawkeye10 said:
In America the courts rarely help, because far too many women lied about their exes being abusive. It is very hard now for one parent to deprive the other of their parental rights, so there is not "taking the children out of an abusive environment", there can only be "ending that abusive environment". Then one or both parents likely will get into new abusive environments.

Playing the savior is fun, but it rarely works.
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Exactly... my ex sporadically slapped our bruised my girls... once or twice a year kinda thing. I called social services and they didn't do much. We went to court and even though I had reports from social services and a police report from her attacking me all it took was an Email my ex showed the Judge where I told my mom what a moronic clown my ex was (I stupidly forwarded and responded so it attached) to make me the oppressive controlling jerk and her the victim. I couldn't believe it. The ****ing Judge LITERALLY ignored all my evidence (verifiable facts) in favour of her tears and heresay. The Courts are bull****.
 
Bodhisattva said:
Exactly... my ex sporadically slapped our bruised my girls... once or twice a year kinda thing. I called social services and they didn't do much. We went to court and even though I had reports from social services and a police report from her attacking me all it took was an Email my ex showed the Judge where I told my mom what a moronic clown my ex was (I stupidly forwarded and responded so it attached) to make me the oppressive controlling jerk and her the victim. I couldn't believe it. The ****ing Judge LITERALLY ignored all my evidence (verifiable facts) in favour of her tears and heresay. The Courts are bull****.
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Well not quite...the courts are in a poor position to know the truth, and even when the truth is obtainable it is an expensive process, and far too many people lying to the courts in the past have motivated the courts to discount all claims of abuse when parents are feuding. I dont know that we can exactly blame the courts for this, as the options are limited and not great. That said I have long made the argument that our justice system is utterly broken.

So I take it that is why you are in New Zealand? How did you eventually get the girls (as I think I recall you saying that you have them now) if you dont mind me asking?
 
Bodhisattva said:
Guys get cuts that can lead to an infection though... dude, at least THINK before yapping.
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A mean old infection from a fingernail scratch can be a really icky thing. Any man should be careful to use an antibiotic and bandage on even the smallest scratch, and if doesn't get all better really fast, to seek medical attention right away.
 
Bodhisattva said:
That is not what I meant... the other poster was saying something about treating it all equal, that is fine legally... not in the Court of Public Opinion though... brushing the massive sexism under the rug will continue to hurt men. Adds show overwhelmingly battered women. I typed in domestic violence ads and these are the images... almost all women, a few kids and a couple of guys.

https://www.google.co.nz/search?q=d...UIBygB&biw=1600&bih=787#imgrc=SoNcKuUws7BBKM:
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If you want more attention given to the men that are abused in a relationship, I have zero issue with that. But what you responded to was my legal take.
 
Bodhisattva said:
Yeah... it sucked. I dealt with it fine, to be honest, in terms of damage to me... it was just really frustrating. Every day it would be some innane argument but it all boiled down to her not liking herself and not being able to trust anybody... people like her live such dramatic filled energy draining lives.
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Thank you for sharing. I have read many stories of men who were severely abused.

I was never severely abused -- I suffered very minor psychological control -- my parents made my major decisions for me. Franz Kafka's father made many decisions for him.

My story shows that even minor control can have devastating effect.
 
OrphanSlug said:
If you want more attention given to the men that are abused in a relationship, I have zero issue with that. But what you responded to was my legal take.
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Point of fact: the law that funds the domestic violence services industry is called "The Violence Against Women Act".
 
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