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Has your marriage changed since SCOTUS ruling?

My marriage


  • Total voters
    49
Just observing my own family members and my neighbors, those kids who are brought up in a one parent household who from time to time bring some lover into the home to play house for a little while seem to have one drama-o-rama after another when it comes to their children. Those who commit to marriage raising their children in a more secure/stable environment seem to fair much better. It certainly is better for society when they do.

Good. So you must support SSM, since research has shown that two loving SINGLE sex parents raise children as well as two loving OPPOSITE sex parents, and better than single parents, overall.
 
Good one. :) Stable to me is a mother and a father. There's no way I could have contributed all that he did in raising our children.

Stable to research is two loving parents regardless of their gender or sexual orientation.
 
Good. So you must support SSM, since research has shown that two loving SINGLE sex parents raise children as well as two loving OPPOSITE sex parents, and better than single parents, overall.

Don't forget the research showing children in single parent households are a majority of the children growing up in poverty.
 
No...... by my logic that isn't the case. I personally believe to produce a well rounded child that will function well in society and have a better chance of experiencing success in life, it takes a mother and a father. There are some things women are very good at in nurturing a child. There are other things only a father can contribute. Two of the same gender are missing a key component that is needed for success in a child's healthy growth. Like I have stated before, there is no way I could have done it alone with the success we have seen in our own children which was a full time job for both of us. You could double the number of "me" and there would still be the absence of the attributes only a good father can contribute. It takes a male and a female to create a child. It takes a mother and a father to raise them successfully.

Your "logic" is invalid when actual research is considered.
 
Don't forget the research showing children in single parent households are a majority of the children growing up in poverty.

Read what I wrote again and see if I would agree with you.
 
While you try to paint every thing rosy, there are more and more books and accounts of children raised by same sex couples in such a short period of time even in this country who have now become adults that seem to differ from you. There is a constant complaint among all of them who have spoke out that the LGBT community goes in full bash mode to discredit and silence them.

We now live in a time where youth have little respect for life. Why is that? The number of youth taking psychotic drugs just to cope with their daily life is at an all time high. Why is that? When you equate into the equation that an overwhelming all time high number of kids are being born and never have any physical or psychological history of their birth father, and now the issue of gay parents who either had to resort to an artificial means to conceive reproducing a child or adoption who also has no claim to a biological father or mother has nothing to do with the number of kids who seem to be screwed up? Let's add the number of parents that abandon their responsibilities to the children they reproduce whether it be through divorce, abandonment etc. because the laws in this country allow them to get away with it. Yet those kids who are fortunate to be raised in a traditional family with a mother and father seem to excel in life while the majority of those who are robbed of such an experience don't. Their lives become drama-O-rama.

If you'd like, I could do a search of children who wrote books about all their complaint about being raised by heterosexual parents. There are THOUSANDS of them, my guess would be. So many people in history who's heterosexual parents abused them or parented them terribly.

See what I just did? I demonstrated that your point is pointless. What you need to do is listen to RESEARCH, not anecdotal information. I have posted MANY research studies demonstrating that children raised by two gay parents do just as well as children raised by two straight parents. I've done this about 20 times in the past 9 years. I haven't done it in a while, because nowadays, it has pretty much become common knowledge that there is no difference between these two sets of parents. If you'd like, I'd be happy to post them again. I suspect that you wouldn't listen, but if you want, it won't take me long to find them.
 
Well as of about this time last year, Massachusetts had the fifth LOWEST marriage rate in the country, nowhere near the highest. See here:
What States Have The Highest Marriage Rates?

You're not batting a very good percentage supporting your argument. :)

I do apologize. I was looking at something else. I was wrong.

It was their change in reduction in marriage rate that was the thing being looked at. Almost every state has seen a reduction in marriage rates. Mass. started at a very low marriage rate. But their reduction in marriage has been less than many other states' rate. Look at the decline in the marriage rate for Nevada, who has always had the highest marriage rate in the country. It has been cut in half in just over a decade. Hawaii saw a spike around 2000, but then dropped by several points from there. Tennessee dropped its rate by 5 points since 1990.

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/dvs/state_marriage_rates_90_95_and_99-12.pdf

Massachusetts saw a spike from an already downward trend in 2004 (the year same sex marriage was made legal there), and then dropped only 2.4 points total from that beginning one in 1990. Their change in rate would be better than 34 other states (although DC is better than them), including several of the states with the highest marriage rates.

Same sex marriage being legal did not legitimate decrease their marriage rate. The trend that had already started throughout the country did. This is evident from the fact that they started at a much lower marriage rate than many of those other states when we compare to 1990.
 
I do apologize. I was looking at something else. I was wrong.

It was their change in reduction in marriage rate that was the thing being looked at. Almost every state has seen a reduction in marriage rates. Mass. started at a very low marriage rate. But their reduction in marriage has been less than many other states' rate. Look at the decline in the marriage rate for Nevada, who has always had the highest marriage rate in the country. It has been cut in half in just over a decade. Hawaii saw a spike around 2000, but then dropped by several points from there. Tennessee dropped its rate by 5 points since 1990.

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/dvs/state_marriage_rates_90_95_and_99-12.pdf

Massachusetts saw a spike from an already downward trend in 2004 (the year same sex marriage was made legal there), and then dropped only 2.4 points total from that beginning one in 1990. Their change in rate would be better than 34 other states (although DC is better than them), including several of the states with the highest marriage rates.

Same sex marriage being legal did not legitimate decrease their marriage rate. The trend that had already started throughout the country did. This is evident from the fact that they started at a much lower marriage rate than many of those other states when we compare to 1990.

It all supports my argument that you cannot change the definition of something without changing that something to be something it never was before. To change the definition of marriage, either socially/culturally or via the law, changes marriage into something different. What it was before no longer exists and therefore it becomes less desirable and important than it was before. And that, IMO, is detrimental to society as a whole and most especially to the children whether they are gay or straight.
 
It all supports my argument that you cannot change the definition of something without changing that something to be something it never was before. To change the definition of marriage, either socially/culturally or via the law, changes marriage into something different. What it was before no longer exists and therefore it becomes less desirable and important than it was before. And that, IMO, is detrimental to society as a whole and most especially to the children whether they are gay or straight.

That is a ridiculous, semantical argument. Marriage has never been just a single thing. Ever.

Your opinion is based on pretty much nothing. You have no facts to back it up. It is basically just "this is how I feel". Well good for you. But those feelings don't mean crap when it comes to the laws. You don't get to tell others they can't get legally or even personally married or even raise children just because you feel they are "detrimental to society". You have no actual evidence of this fact. Some people feel that people of certain races and religions are "detrimental to society". Like you, they have no actual evidence to back this position up.
 
I voted 'changed', but I needed an entry for 'remains to be seen'.

Why?

Because I'm now motivated to push for POLYGAMY to be the next big thing.

I've been looking hard at my finances, and have been noting the spare bedroom vacated by my twenty-something daughter who recently moved on her own.

- I think I can fit and afford another women in here! :cool:

Yep.

So, if we can get this polygamy thing going, and I can find a decent women that maybe my wife likes, I could be sitting pretty.

Guys, if you can't see the advantages of this, you need to hand-in your man card.

Everyone else is changing the definition of marriage - we can do this! :2wave:
You're too limited in your thinking. A man statistically has a better income, or so it is claimed, so what you want is another husband. Or better yet, do what I did and get one of each.
 
IMO opinion the divorce rate is symptomatic of a culture that no longer values marriage as the cultural norm just as is the fact that so many people are no longer bothering to get married at all.

There are a lot of us out there that are just not bothering with the legal paperwork. My wife and I were married for about 6 to 8 years before we went to get it legally documented. And we only did that for better mortgage rates.
 
If you'd like, I could do a search of children who wrote books about all their complaint about being raised by heterosexual parents. There are THOUSANDS of them, my guess would be. So many people in history who's heterosexual parents abused them or parented them terribly.

See what I just did? I demonstrated that your point is pointless. What you need to do is listen to RESEARCH, not anecdotal information. I have posted MANY research studies demonstrating that children raised by two gay parents do just as well as children raised by two straight parents. I've done this about 20 times in the past 9 years. I haven't done it in a while, because nowadays, it has pretty much become common knowledge that there is no difference between these two sets of parents. If you'd like, I'd be happy to post them again. I suspect that you wouldn't listen, but if you want, it won't take me long to find them.

Good morning Captain.
My "point" is only pointless to the one who disagrees. Even in your profession, not everyone is in agreement. That is why you find articles written by psychiatrists for and against same sex couples raising children. For and against different treatments for gender confusion. etc.

Men and women are not only different physically, their minds work differently. But just as their physical bodies are designed to compliment one another in a relationship, so do their minds when working as a team. I call it the head and the heart. Too much of one or the other can result in bad consequences. It takes a balance of both. In all honesty, there are things my spouse contributed to the raising of our children that I lack simply because of my physical limits but most of all because the way I am wired. Even with two of me, there would still be that void and visa versa.
 
Good morning Captain.
My "point" is only pointless to the one who disagrees. Even in your profession, not everyone is in agreement. That is why you find articles written by psychiatrists for and against same sex couples raising children. For and against different treatments for gender confusion. etc.

Men and women are not only different physically, their minds work differently. But just as their physical bodies are designed to compliment one another in a relationship, so do their minds when working as a team. I call it the head and the heart. Too much of one or the other can result in bad consequences. It takes a balance of both. In all honesty, there are things my spouse contributed to the raising of our children that I lack simply because of my physical limits but most of all because the way I am wired. Even with two of me, there would still be that void and visa versa.

There are no absolutes to men and women having their minds work differently. None. They are generalities. In general, women like certain things and men like certain things. Women might be in general more likely to be caring, but that doesn't mean all women are. Men in general may be better at math. But that doesn't mean all men are, or that women can't be better than most men at math. Men in general may be more involved in disciplining children, but that doesn't mean all men prefer this role, or that some women don't prefer such a role, nor that they can't do it. Your entire premise is based on absolutes that are unsupportable, assumptions that differences that are reported as generalities between men and women are absolutes.
 
There are a lot of us out there that are just not bothering with the legal paperwork. My wife and I were married for about 6 to 8 years before we went to get it legally documented. And we only did that for better mortgage rates.

But that's sort of the point I'm making. When a society makes traditional marriage unnecessary or unimportant and rejects what it is intended to be and/or the positive attributes it produces or redefines what it is, then more and more people just don't bother to engage in it.
 
But that's sort of the point I'm making. When a society makes marriage unnecessary or unimportant and rejects what it is intended to be and/or the positive attributes it produces, then more and more people just don't bother to engage in it.

Society hasn't made marriage unnecessary or unimportant for most people though. The vast majority of people in this country either a) are married, b) have been married, or c) plan to eventually get married. There is a small group of people who don't want to get married ever. They don't represent the majority in any way shape or form.
 
Society hasn't made marriage unnecessary or unimportant for most people though. The vast majority of people in this country either a) are married, b) have been married, or c) plan to eventually get married. There is a small group of people who don't want to get married ever. They don't represent the majority in any way shape or form.

Our history strongly suggests that marriage is increasingly becoming a non necessity or unattractive for more and more people all the time. And given how much the traditional two parent family has been dismissed as important over recent decades, the correlation between that and the decline in traditional marriage looks really strong.
 
Our history strongly suggests that marriage is increasingly becoming a non necessity or unattractive for more and more people all the time. And given how much the traditional two parent family has been dismissed as important over recent decades, the correlation between that and the decline in traditional marriage looks really strong.

Single parent families can work. A good friend of mine is a single mom, her oldest daughter just graduated Early College, got her high school diploma and 2 associate degrees, plans to finish her 4 year degree in biochemical engineering. Her youngest daughter will be a sophomore in high school this fall, and they moved last year to get her into the best high school in the county, well the attendance zone for it, but you get idea. Also I don't think people aren't getting married just because everyone can have their piece of the pie. A good friend of mine is getting married in about 4 1/2 weeks to a guy who obviously is as loyal as a puppy dog, having stood by her through everything she's been through the last several years. Yeah my cousin and her now husband of almost 15 months lived together before they were eventually married but so what?
 
Single parent families can work. A good friend of mine is a single mom, her oldest daughter just graduated Early College, got her high school diploma and 2 associate degrees, plans to finish her 4 year degree in biochemical engineering. Her youngest daughter will be a sophomore in high school this fall, and they moved last year to get her into the best high school in the county, well the attendance zone for it, but you get idea. Also I don't think people aren't getting married just because everyone can have their piece of the pie. A good friend of mine is getting married in about 4 1/2 weeks to a guy who obviously is as loyal as a puppy dog, having stood by her through everything she's been through the last several years. Yeah my cousin and her now husband of almost 15 months lived together before they were eventually married but so what?

Single parents can indeed do an exemplary job of rearing children as can gay parents. I know a number of people in both groups. But that does not change the fact that whether they are straight or gay, children generally benefit more from having a traditional loving mother and father in the home.
 
Our history strongly suggests that marriage is increasingly becoming a non necessity or unattractive for more and more people all the time. And given how much the traditional two parent family has been dismissed as important over recent decades, the correlation between that and the decline in traditional marriage looks really strong.

The issue you fail to recognize is that although some people don't think marriage is necessary, this isn't a prevailing opinion. Many are simply putting off marriage or view the legal benefits of marriage unnecessary for them.
 
Single parents can indeed do an exemplary job of rearing children as can gay parents. I know a number of people in both groups. But that does not change the fact that whether they are straight or gay, children generally benefit more from having a traditional loving mother and father in the home.

And you have no proof for this assertion.
 
The issue you fail to recognize is that although some people don't think marriage is necessary, this isn't a prevailing opinion. Many are simply putting off marriage or view the legal benefits of marriage unnecessary for them.

The statistics say otherwise.
 
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