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PTSD: do we forget about the wives/families?

PTSD: do we forget about family members involved

  • Total voters
    7
Aunt Spiker said:
Thank you.



Everyone just gets worn out after a while. You always know there's something wrong but damnit - it's just exhausting to focus on all the time.

For one: you're never truly 'healed' - you're always in a state of 'coping'.
For another: it's constant - or random and sporadic. After time everyone involved just gets exhausted with the whole thing, especially the one who's sick.

I can't blame my husband for getting tired of appointments, questions, unease, therapy, pills - repeat. When he relapses it starts with him not going to an appointment or two because he has other things he wants to do with his time.

I have a hard time holding him to it, I really do - because I always feel like he and we have gone through enough of the 'treatment' and need a break . . . but there is no break. It's not like a broken leg that gets better - it's a disease that has no cure.

And repeat - and repeat . . . it's just endless. Time doesn't seem to diminish it, either. In fact, I think time makes it worse because then other health problems develop and worsen. My husband at first ONLY had mental health issues and some physical injuries to recover from.

Now his mental issues have worsened. He has breathing, neurological and psychological, physical, intestinal and cardiac issues. It's like his body is breaking down piece by piece and that's making all of his mental issues MUCH worse.
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I have a real problem with the VA treatment models. They teach processes that help people cope with a lifetime of symptoms without ever really getting to the problem and dealing with the problem. Mindfulness strategies are OK in helping deal with immediate symptoms but dont help resolve the incident trauma. Often the incident trauma is just a cap on other preexisting issues or issues since. The latest theory offered by the VA is that the traumatic incident causes actual brain damage and keeps the trauma incident in a closed 'loop' in the brain and memory.
 
herenow1 said:
I think American Sniper was the first movie( other than Brothers) that showed what the family goes through, but it only touched on it. I think our returning service members who suffer from PTSD should be offered any and all services that benefit them. I feel for those who come back injured or psychologically tormented, but often times, the residual trickles into family life and the family silently suffers as well. A wife who rides it out is considered strong and supportive. Do you think that we as a society only think about the Soldier/Airmen/Marine etc? Do we forget about the people they live with, and how it's affecting them?
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Citizens should get the help they need in general.
 
VanceMack said:
I have a real problem with the VA treatment models. They teach processes that help people cope with a lifetime of symptoms without ever really getting to the problem and dealing with the problem. Mindfulness strategies are OK in helping deal with immediate symptoms but dont help resolve the incident trauma. Often the incident trauma is just a cap on other preexisting issues or issues since. The latest theory offered by the VA is that the traumatic incident causes actual brain damage and keeps the trauma incident in a closed 'loop' in the brain and memory.
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The VA?

Somehow the military did this: They processed my husband out - to medical retirement . . . and then they reprocessed him BACK IN. According to military files he's still ACTIVE DUTY.

So - of course - the VA has pulled benefits (not fully- but enough to where it hurts). We're living off of savings and between being a full time caregiver I'm unable to actually get a full time job outside of the house (not like anyone's going to hire me anyway).

Thankfully I'm making my author / copy-editing efforts come around to some sort of income. Ugh. I'm planning on writing some stories that sell well and then I'll take a solo vacay to Hawaii and jump into a volcano. LOL

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Beyond the trouble that comes when not a damned thing goes right - I can't make heads or tails over what the VA actually OFFERS around here. Everyone I have ever discussed things with reports me to someone else - can't answer questions - and simply doesn't know much about anything. They are probably the dumbest people I've ever had to deal with.
 
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Aunt Spiker said:
The VA?

Somehow the military did this: They processed my husband out - to medical retirement . . . and then they reprocessed him BACK IN. According to military files he's still ACTIVE DUTY.

So - of course - the VA has pulled benefits (not fully- but enough to where it hurts). We're living off of savings and between being a full time caregiver I'm unable to actually get a full time job outside of the house (not like anyone's going to hire me anyway).

Thankfully I'm making my author / copy-editing efforts come around to some sort of income. Ugh. I'm planning on writing some stories that sell well and then I'll take a solo vacay to Hawaii and jump into a volcano. LOL

--

Beyond the trouble that comes when not a damned thing goes right - I can't make heads or tails over what the VA actually OFFERS around here. Everyone I have ever discussed things with reports me to someone else - can't answer questions - and simply doesn't know much about anything. They are probably the dumbest people I've ever had to deal with.
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Wow...so...he's back on Active Duty? Is he drawing a paycheck? That doesnt make a ton of sense. But then...Ive seen more **** than a little bit with the military personnel folks that doesnt make a ton of sense.

Have you checked with your states veterans affairs officer?
 
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VanceMack said:
Wow...so...he's back on Active Duty? Is he drawing a paycheck? That doesnt make a ton of sense. But then...Ive seen more **** than a little bit with the military personnel folks that doesnt make a ton of sense.
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It's just a paperwork error. This often happens because the military is in the stone age etching things on stacks of slate tablets. He's not pulling active duty services. In fact, he's in college. But until the Military reclassifies him properly and fixes this error (it's been 4 months since we caught it) we're in this strange floating zone where he can't do certain things through the VA because of it.
 
Aunt Spiker said:
It's just a paperwork error. This often happens because the military is in the stone age etching things on stacks of slate tablets. He's not pulling active duty services. In fact, he's in college. But until the Military reclassifies him properly and fixes this error (it's been 4 months since we caught it) we're in this strange floating zone where he can't do certain things through the VA because of it.
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Gotcha. I dont understand it...but I gotcha.

We have a really strong veterans affairs division in our state government and we all meet pretty regularly during the OEF/OIF committee meetings and the behavioral health services planning meetings. I hope they get things figured out on your end.
 
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