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Social experiment domestic violence, double standard?

Are you more likely to step in and intervene if it's a man or a woman

  • I'd only step in if its a woman being hit

    Votes: 3 25.0%

  • id step in if either was being hit

    Votes: 4 33.3%

  • I wouldn't get involved period

    Votes: 1 8.3%

  • I would be too afraid to get involved

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • I would call 911

    Votes: 4 33.3%
  • Total voters
    12
H

herenow1

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One video is a social experiment and one video is an actual abusuve relationship. Both videos show both genders being violent but nobody defends the man, only the woman.

Is this a double standard that doesn't bother you, a double standard that makes sense? Would you have reacted the same way? The second video is rather long but it's the reason I couldn't live in the city.I don't see how people transport via subways everyday!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gOyrYThlOag

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81CKcMQKt6k&app=desktop
 
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herenow1 said:
One video is a social experiment and one video is an actual abusuve relationship. Both videos show both genders being violent but nobody defends the man, only the woman.

Is this a double standard that doesn't bother you, a double standard that makes sense? Would you have reacted the same way?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gOyrYThlOag
Click to expand...

Many years ago I was fortunate to meet Dr. Lenore Walker. Lenore Walker

At that time I ask when she would write concerning abuse of men; remarking on the similarities of the situations.

The sincerely charming and vibrant Dr. smiled and replied she probably would not be doing that study ( Paraphrased )

Maybe the comparative situation is coming forefront.

Have a peaceful day H

Thom Paine
 
Gathomas88 said:
I wouldn't.

The guy should be able to take care of himself. :shrug:
Click to expand...

And this belief is why women are becoming more belligerent and violent toward both men and women - no one encourages or enforces that women should get a grip on their anger, their temper, and their attitudes. Instead, when going against a man, women are given lee-way and flexibility. When going against other women people grab a video camera.

Boys are constantly told to keep their anger in check, that they shouldn't fight other people (unless it's a man and it's consensual in the ring) and so forth from early on. Girls, however, are not. They're often encouraged to be emotional and expressive even when that surfaces in very negative ways.

People see a violent situation and make snap judgments based on their social standards of 'the man is stronger' and 'the man should be able to defend himself' - which is exactly the reasons behind the statement that accompanies the video:

While the majority of domestic violence victims are women, abuse of men happens far more often than you'd probably expect. Typically, men are physically stronger than women but that doesn't necessarily make it easier to escape the violence or the relationship. An abused man faces a shortage of resources, skepticism from police, and major legal obstacles, especially when it comes to gaining custody of his children from an abusive mother. No matter your age, occupation, or sexual orientation, though, you can overcome these challenges and escape the abuse.
Click to expand...

there is a growing - and grotesque - unfairness in the legal end of things where women are given priority and preference and men are often snubbed in regard to anything remotely domestic dispute wise. People are more apt to accept that the man is violent - but less caring when the woman is violent.
 
Depends. I am most likely to step in if I see a stronger person beating on a weaker person. I am sure there is the occasional couple where the woman is the stronger of the two. Maybe if the man is doing nothing to defend himself from her hits I would step in. Regardless, if it looked serious I would also call 911.
 
herenow1 said:
One video is a social experiment and one video is an actual abusuve relationship. Both videos show both genders being violent but nobody defends the man, only the woman.

Is this a double standard that doesn't bother you, a double standard that makes sense? Would you have reacted the same way? The second video is rather long but it's the reason I couldn't live in the city.I don't see how people transport via subways everyday!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gOyrYThlOag

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81CKcMQKt6k&app=desktop
Click to expand...

Any man who gets his ass kicked by a woman deserves it. There is no reason on God's green earth why just walking away isn't an option. Besides, that's usually a great way to piss the psycho off even more.
 
Sometimes you see huge women with tiny men. If I saw a pair like this where the woman was abusing him to the point of serious injury I would have to step in I guess but it would be with extreme reluctance and foreboding.
 
My ideals are chivalric in nature. The man must respect the woman.

Thankfully, any woman who throws a punch is no longer a woman and as such will be treated like a man.

If I see a woman fighting someone chances are I will not allow it to happen whether she's fighting another girl or a man.

Depending on the severity of the fight I will call 9/11 or simply step in and separate the two (or both).
 
Aunt Spiker said:
And this belief is why women are becoming more belligerent and violent toward both men and women - no one encourages or enforces that women should get a grip on their anger, their temper, and their attitudes. Instead, when going against a man, women are given lee-way and flexibility. When going against other women people grab a video camera.

Boys are constantly told to keep their anger in check, that they shouldn't fight other people (unless it's a man and it's consensual in the ring) and so forth from early on. Girls, however, are not. They're often encouraged to be emotional and expressive even when that surfaces in very negative ways.

People see a violent situation and make snap judgments based on their social standards of 'the man is stronger' and 'the man should be able to defend himself' - which is exactly the reasons behind the statement that accompanies the video:

there is a growing - and grotesque - unfairness in the legal end of things where women are given priority and preference and men are often snubbed in regard to anything remotely domestic dispute wise. People are more apt to accept that the man is violent - but less caring when the woman is violent.
Click to expand...

The legal side of it is one thing, and I agree that the way our current system approaches the issue is wrong. However, that's really neither here nor there where my public reaction to such a situation would be concerned.

Generally speaking, a woman is only able to "beat" a man if the man allows himself to be beaten. The average woman simply isn't going to be able to hold most men against their will, or put their lives in serious danger.

For that reason, no. I wouldn't get involved.

The impetus is on the man to put his foot down and set his own affairs in order.
 
Oh yeah, forgot to post, and if I see a man hitting a woman chances are I will crucify the bastard and go to jail myself ;)
 
Aunt Spiker said:
And this belief is why women are becoming more belligerent and violent toward both men and women - no one encourages or enforces that women should get a grip on their anger, their temper, and their attitudes. Instead, when going against a man, women are given lee-way and flexibility. When going against other women people grab a video camera.

Boys are constantly told to keep their anger in check, that they shouldn't fight other people (unless it's a man and it's consensual in the ring) and so forth from early on. Girls, however, are not. They're often encouraged to be emotional and expressive even when that surfaces in very negative ways.

People see a violent situation and make snap judgments based on their social standards of 'the man is stronger' and 'the man should be able to defend himself' - which is exactly the reasons behind the statement that accompanies the video:



there is a growing - and grotesque - unfairness in the legal end of things where women are given priority and preference and men are often snubbed in regard to anything remotely domestic dispute wise. People are more apt to accept that the man is violent - but less caring when the woman is violent.
Click to expand...

Hey! This is 21st century America, damn it! It's fine and dandy even to **** in the streets as long as your cause is endorsed by the right folks. There are no "standards" any more. People just do whatever the hell they want, post it to social media, and whoever gets the most likes on facebook gets to define the "standard".

Face it, Spiker. You're getting old and the world you thought you knew just doesn't exist any more.
 
Gathomas88 said:
The legal side of it is one thing, and I agree that the way our current system approaches the issue is wrong. However, that's really neither here nor there where my public reaction to such a situation would be concerned.

Generally speaking, a woman is only able to "beat" a man if the man allows himself to be beaten. The average woman simply isn't going to be able to hold most men against their will, or put their lives in serious danger.

For that reason, no. I wouldn't get involved.

The impetus is on the man to put his foot down and set his own affairs in order.
Click to expand...

Well on one hand you're agreeing there's an imbalance in the legal system.

And on the other hand you're saying 'the man should be able to overpower her'.

Now look at both of those things together and see how one affects the other: A) Physical. B) A decision.

And there is where a lot of men fall - They are PHYSICALLY able of course - but to defend their self is risking more serious issues in which police might get involved. With our skewed system in place men are put into a position where they are encouraged not to even defend their selves from a legitimate attack.

Police and others are more likely to side with the woman and not the man.

Thus - men are assumed to be stronger but are advised to simply take it.

An abused man faces a shortage of resources, skepticism from police, and major legal obstacles, especially when it comes to gaining custody of his children from an abusive mother.
Click to expand...

Our legal system needs to stop concluding that the woman is always telling the truth, and the man is always the aggressor in domestic assault situations.

Clearly - there's more to this than 'him being stronger than her'.
 
I voted call 911.

*If* there was a need to step in to prevent actual serious harm to either...I mean, is one party just standing there not fighting back at all?....I would help break it up and then let the courts sort out 'fault.'
 
Aunt Spiker said:
And this belief is why women are becoming more belligerent and violent toward both men and women - no one encourages or enforces that women should get a grip on their anger, their temper, and their attitudes. Instead, when going against a man, women are given lee-way and flexibility. When going against other women people grab a video camera.

Boys are constantly told to keep their anger in check, that they shouldn't fight other people (unless it's a man and it's consensual in the ring) and so forth from early on. Girls, however, are not. They're often encouraged to be emotional and expressive even when that surfaces in very negative ways.

People see a violent situation and make snap judgments based on their social standards of 'the man is stronger' and 'the man should be able to defend himself' - which is exactly the reasons behind the statement that accompanies the video:



there is a growing - and grotesque - unfairness in the legal end of things where women are given priority and preference and men are often snubbed in regard to anything remotely domestic dispute wise. People are more apt to accept that the man is violent - but less caring when the woman is violent.
Click to expand...

Well said Aunty Spiker! :)
 
Aunt Spiker said:
And this belief is why women are becoming more belligerent and violent toward both men and women - no one encourages or enforces that women should get a grip on their anger, their temper, and their attitudes. Instead, when going against a man, women are given lee-way and flexibility. When going against other women people grab a video camera.

Boys are constantly told to keep their anger in check, that they shouldn't fight other people (unless it's a man and it's consensual in the ring) and so forth from early on. Girls, however, are not. They're often encouraged to be emotional and expressive even when that surfaces in very negative ways.

People see a violent situation and make snap judgments based on their social standards of 'the man is stronger' and 'the man should be able to defend himself' - which is exactly the reasons behind the statement that accompanies the video:

there is a growing - and grotesque - unfairness in the legal end of things where women are given priority and preference and men are often snubbed in regard to anything remotely domestic dispute wise. People are more apt to accept that the man is violent - but less caring when the woman is violent.
Click to expand...


I agree that 'boys' are told this and taught it, but I think the proof is clear that it fails for many. Most violent crime, all spree shootings, and most other crimes where violence occurs, it's men. It's somewhat testosterone, altho that's a reason, not an excuse.

Women are not 'better,' they just act differently on their anger. Manipulate, poison, damage property, make false accusations, etc. To survive, because they were smaller, women evolved to be less violent (have less testosterone for one thing). To have challenged males physically in prehistoric times would have meant many fewer women surviving to breed.

So women are capable of violence....you don't want to cross a mama by threatening her kid...but most of the 'violence' I've seen from women (and it's been popularized on YouTube so there's some confirmation) is when they have friends there to back them up and egg them on. Or they are emboldened by male they know cannot (by law) or will not hit them back....so they get positive reinforcement for poor anger control.
 
There is just as much domestic violence toward men as there is toward women and anyone who will recognize one and not the other is a hypocrite.
 
Cephus said:
There is just as much domestic violence toward men as there is toward women and anyone who will recognize one and not the other is a hypocrite.
Click to expand...

Source?
 
Gathomas88 said:
I wouldn't.

The guy should be able to take care of himself. :shrug:
Click to expand...

Extremely shortsighted given the fact that he could go to jail for "taking care of himself".
 
Lursa said:
I voted call 911.

*If* there was a need to step in to prevent actual serious harm to either...I mean, is one party just standing there not fighting back at all?....I would help break it up and then let the courts sort out 'fault.'
Click to expand...

It's extremely easy for a woman to **** up a man's life permanently in violent situations, even if she's the violent one. The courts are conditioned to assume the man is always the asshole.
 
American said:
It's extremely easy for a woman to **** up a man's life permanently in violent situations, even if she's the violent one. The courts are conditioned to assume the man is always the asshole.
Click to expand...

Take Jodi arias. The guy KNEW she was a freak but couldn't lay off the booty. Sure, she killed him but to a large extent that was just Darwin at work.
 
Lutherf said:
Take Jodi arias. The guy KNEW she was a freak but couldn't lay off the booty. Sure, she killed him but to a large extent that was just Darwin at work.
Click to expand...

I'm not going to say anything was certain about that.
 
herenow1 said:
One video is a social experiment and one video is an actual abusuve relationship. Both videos show both genders being violent but nobody defends the man, only the woman.

Is this a double standard that doesn't bother you, a double standard that makes sense?
Click to expand...
It is definitely a double standard. Part of this is because of the typical heteronormative gender expectations (e.g. men should be "tough" and be able to handle an assault, while women are weak and need protection). Part is because 95% of the perpetrators are men.

Unlike some folks here, it does bother me. Domestic abuse is domestic abuse, period. It doesn't matter if the perpetrator is male or female.

Bystanders generally shouldn't intervene directly, they should call the police. You can be putting both yourself and the victim at greater risk. E.g. you can easily escalate the incident; you can be assaulted; the perpetrator may escalate the violence as soon as the couple are in private again. Cops aren't perfect, and they won't show up instantaneously, but they generally are trained to handle those types of situations.
 
My ex-GF tried to beat me up on the street when I broke up with her. In front of her mom, her daughter, and 8-year-old nephew. She slapped me and raked my sunglasses off my face before I realized what she was doing. After that I was dodging and blocking with one hand, while getting out my phone to call 911 with the other. When the cops arrived, I had some scratch marks on me but she did not, so she went to jail and I did not. It was a Saturday morning, so she had to rot in jail until Monday. Psycho bitch has a felony assault conviction on her record now, and I'm happily involved with a non-abusive woman who loves me like crazy. :lamo

So based on my experience, I think whoever goes to jail depends on who has marks on them. I also was not aware, before that day, that since I called 911 for domestic violence (as opposed to just the local police), I could not drop the charges. The district (D.C.) pressed charges. That might just be a state/district policy though, not federal, but I'm not sure.
 
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