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Parents: Punishing Kids [W:361]

is it ever allowable for a Parent to punish their child with force?

  • Yes

    Votes: 43 68.3%

  • No

    Votes: 12 19.0%

  • Other (explain)

    Votes: 8 12.7%
  • Total voters
    63
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Henrin said:
I swear some people think children are a different species. Why do they think children would be better off from being abused by their parents? Do they think adults are better off when they get abused by fellow adults? The logic behind some peoples arguments is so ****ing warped.
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Where do you draw the line? Is chasing your kid running away from you and forcibly carrying them and sitting them in a time out spot acceptable or isn't that another form of abuse? Think how terrified your kid is running away and being chased... OMG, the horror.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Henrin said:
If the boy insists on touching it I say go ahead and let him. I once had a kid that insisted on touching the stove, so after a few times explaining to him the situation I just let him touch it. Afterwords he knew I was right about the stove and didn't dare touch it again.
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Again, where do you draw the line... how about your kid wants to run out into traffic? Do you just say go ahead and let him do it?
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Grand Mal said:
My son was never struck by anyone as a child. He grew up just fine.
Anyone who hits a child, for any reason, ought to get one right back in the face from someone much bigger and stronger than they are. Damn cowards. Hitting children is inexcusable.
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But what if they ask for it?
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Bodhisattva said:
But what if they ask for it?
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That happens ! It happened with my boys. :shock: Really they did!

Make sure you really want what you think you want.... you'll likely get it

Thom Paine
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Bodhisattva said:
Again, where do you draw the line... how about your kid wants to run out into traffic? Do you just say go ahead and let him do it?
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Touching a hot stove top isn't going to kill the boy. It will hurt a little, and by touching it he will learn the nature of it. In your situation he could very well be killed, so it's not situation where you should allow him to learn something.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Thom Paine said:
That happens ! It happened with my boys. :shock: Really they did!

Make sure you really want what you think you want.... you'll likely get it

Thom Paine
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I never spanked my kids but a couple of times I was frustrated enough to say that I would and once my kid said go ahead. It actually made me laugh...
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Bodhisattva said:
The "fact" that you think that they are a coward? :lol:
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No. It has nothing to do with what I think. Its a simple reality. You have to be a coward to hit a child as an adult. Simple common sense.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Bodhisattva said:
I never spanked my kids but a couple of times I was frustrated enough to say that I would and once my kid said go ahead. It actually made me laugh...
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Years ago the phone company had adverts to "reach out and touch someone" by long distance calling. One time they were acting up a little and I said if they didn't stop that I might redefine "reach out and touch"; the oldest said "how ya' gonna' do that?" He were wearing shorts. In a backhanded manner I flipped my fingers against his leg. He said "Oh!" For the next couple of months they each would move their chairs close to me during supper; after a few days I asked them why they were sitting so close. The youngest responded "If we mess up it'll be easier for you to "reach out and touch us". I've laughed about that for 25 years and so have they. I have more funny stories about kids and punishment ... one of them includes a bullwhip.



Celebrate something Bodhi

Thom Paine
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

It seems like the best corporal punishment today would be to take away their cell phones and computers. No need to raise a hand to a child now. Control their social media outlets instead of raising the hand to them.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

disneydude said:
No. It has nothing to do with what I think. Its a simple reality. You have to be a coward to hit a child as an adult. Simple common sense.
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That is not reality... some children are bigger than their parents, especially many moms.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Lakeside said:
It seems like the best corporal punishment today would be to take away their cell phones and computers. No need to raise a hand to a child now. Control their social media outlets instead of raising the hand to them.
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I told a mom once who was having trouble controlling her kid (my student)... she was at her wits end and I asked her if she ever took her daughter's phone away as a consequence and the mom said, "I never thought of doing that". DUH!! I couldn't believe it and knew THAT is why she had problems parenting... lack of consequences. She would tell her kid to go to her room and the kid wouldn't care as she would just text and use the Internet the whole time.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Bodhisattva said:
That is not reality... some children are bigger than their parents, especially many moms.
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Then its good to keep yourself in good shape. Right up to the day he died there was no way I would challenge my father.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Peter King said:
but this is not a crime discussion, this is a spanking/physical punishment discussion with regard to children.

Children might break rules, but how can a child ever (especially at a young age) make rhyme or reason for their parents hugging and embracing them and then those same parents who you rely on for love and comfort go ape**** and take out of branch of a tree/belt/end of wood to beat the crap out of you?

Yes, children must be punished if they break rules, but to take your hand to them (or something in your hand) gives off the wrong message. It gives off the message that the ones who love you may hurt you. That violence is the best option to punish rule breakers. That using your voice and reason is second/third/forth to a good old beating.

That kind of message gives a child the wrong message because there is a good chance he will have a negative relationship with that parent, he will repeat the same behaviors in his life (whether it be on the street, in school, in his later relationship or towards his/her own child).

And there are countless of options parents can take instead of a physical assault on their own flesh and blood to discipline them. The only thing (according to most if not all experts) is that you have to be consequent and that is where most parents fail, especially the beating ones because often that parent is very very angry when they decide to punish that child and act accordingly. Learning out of fear is not a desirable way to teach anything to any living thing.
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Kids who aren't punished w/sufficient severity for their transgressions grow up to be GOP pols, and no parent wants that.

As for the fear that punishment instills in kids due to violence done to them or the threat of it, as long as the pain inflicted matches the pain the child him/herself inflicted on others as a result of his/her misdeeds, the punishment will only help, not harm, because that kind of punishment (though painful) effectively teaches the child about why he/she shouldn't do it again by forcing him/her to develop empathy for others.

Punishment is only malevolent when it's out of proportion to the violation committed, and/or when a child is punished for an act that he/she didn't do, or for an act that caused pain but was done for a reason (i. e. possibly in retaliation for another malicious act done to the child). But that rule applies to everyone, not just kids.

The only key difference between how to punish kids vs. adults is that the intensity of the punishment can be reduced for kids, since children are more psychologically malleable than adults.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

solletica said:
Kids who aren't punished w/sufficient severity for their transgressions grow up to be GOP pols, and no parent wants that.

As for the fear that punishment instills in kids due to violence done to them or the threat of it, as long as the pain inflicted matches the pain the child him/herself inflicted on others as a result of his/her misdeeds, the punishment will only help, not harm, because that kind of punishment (though painful) effectively teaches the child about why he/she shouldn't do it again by forcing him/her to develop empathy for others.

Punishment is only malevolent when it's out of proportion to the violation committed, and/or when a child is punished for an act that he/she didn't do, or for an act that caused pain but was done for a reason (i. e. possibly in retaliation for another malicious act done to the child). But that rule applies to everyone, not just kids.

The only key difference between how to punish kids vs. adults is that the intensity of the punishment can be reduced for kids, since children are more psychologically malleable than adults.
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punished with severity does not mean it has to be physical punishment (as in laying your hands on your children).

Fear of punishment is BS, it does not make for well behaved children but for fearful children who will do their crimes in secret. It also does not teach them to be well behaved and behaving in accordance with the rules when they leave the house and you are no longer able to physically punish them.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

CRUE CAB said:
Then its good to keep yourself in good shape. Right up to the day he died there was no way I would challenge my father.
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Did he die before 70? I find it hard to believe that a man in his 40's couldn't beat the crap out of anybody over 65 or 70...
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

disneydude said:
At least you demonstrate that you can be good at rationalizing.
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Same old Disney... talk to you again in 4 or 5 years.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

disneydude said:
It doesn't change the facts. Sorry.
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Which you fail to extrapolate. Explain how you have come to the conclusion that I believe that violence is the answer to my problems due to my parents spanking me.


Otherwise?



Shut up.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Grand Mal said:
My son was never struck by anyone as a child. He grew up just fine.
Anyone who hits a child, for any reason, ought to get one right back in the face from someone much bigger and stronger than they are. Damn cowards. Hitting children is inexcusable.
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He's lucky. I had gotten into 3 fights, not started by me, before I ever even made it to middle school.


Define hit? Because if you're telling me I can't spank my child, you're bat **** crazy.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Goshin said:
Again, you appear to be conflating spanking as equivalent to being violently beaten about the head and ears with fists and boots, when the two are not remotely the same. This is a common reaction among those who have no clue what they are talking about in this debate. You're confusing (either unreasoningly or deliberately) the image of angry out-of-control violence with the use of controlled spanking as a disciplinary tool in some cases.

And slinging the word "coward" around from the safe anonymity of the Internet is a pretty contemptible habit...
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While passively aggressively threatening violence onto those who do spank...
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

KevinKohler said:
He's lucky. I had gotten into 3 fights, not started by me, before I ever even made it to middle school.


Define hit? Because if you're telling me I can't spank my child, you're bat **** crazy.
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I never spanked my kid but gave a glancing soft swat to the butt when my child tried to run away thinking it was fun... and into traffic. Scared the **** out of me...

Now my ex-wife? She has slapped my eldest daughter in the face 5 or 6 times that I know of... that is not OK and rightfully is illegal.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Bodhisattva said:
I never spanked my kid but gave a glancing soft swat to the butt when my child tried to run away thinking it was fun... and into traffic. Scared the **** out of me...

Now my ex-wife? She has slapped my eldest daughter in the face 5 or 6 times that I know of... that is not OK and rightfully is illegal.
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No, not at all.



That sounds like a punishment innacted in a moment of passion. She was angry, she slapped her.


Wrong.


Punishment needs ot be conducted by someone who has calmed. You don't see angry judges (outside of TV). There's a reason for that. It needs ot be seen by the child that it's not about anger. It's about punishment for a crime committed.
 
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