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Parents: Punishing Kids [W:361]

is it ever allowable for a Parent to punish their child with force?

  • Yes

    Votes: 43 68.3%

  • No

    Votes: 12 19.0%

  • Other (explain)

    Votes: 8 12.7%
  • Total voters
    63
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

iacardsfan said:
With the recent news of Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson being charged with child abuse in possibly two separate cases, I thought it would be a good time to pose the question of where to draw the line in punishing a child. It was always acceptable for me to get a spanking or slap when I was out of line as a kid, and that wasn't overly long ago. Now all of a sudden, Mr. Peterson is in hot water as a result. Granted, I was never spanked with a stick, but there were always some interesting objects involved. I just wanted to know if you believe it is allowable for an adult to use force that does not cause permanent damage in order to teach/ discipline their children. Please explain you answer.
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The only strike I believe in is the spank, with the intent to shock their attention and not as a punative punishment, only in serious situatiins.

Small child playing with a knife = 1 swat.

Not moltiple swats, not out of anger, with the open hand only.

That's where I draw the line on phisical punishment.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

iacardsfan said:
It was always acceptable for me to get a spanking or slap when I was out of line as a kid, and that wasn't overly long ago.
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It was not acceptable when I was a child, I'm 43. It's been illegal in Sweden for decades. Using personal anecdote to apologize for child abuse is simply an attempt to legitimize ones own experience; everyone wants to believe what happened to them is okay, that's human nature and void of intellectual consideration.


Teaching a child to use violence to get what they want is wrong.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Jerry said:
The only strike I believe in is the spank, with the intent to shock their attention and not as a punative punishment, only in serious situatiins.

Small child playing with a knife = 1 swat.

Not moltiple swats, not out of anger, with the open hand only.

That's where I draw the line on phisical punishment.
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Pretty much my thoughts. It's nonverbal communication to show displeasure with one's offspring, not to instill fear or pain.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Yes, I think there are instances where physical punishment is a reasonable thing a parent should be able to do. Children are diverse individuals who all learn, adapt, and react to different stimuli and methods of teaching/corrective action. Is it possible to go absolutely overboard? Yes, yes it is. However, it's similarly very easy to go overboard in terms of the reaction towards any level of physical punishment. But we live in a society that more and more has to box everything into little extremes as a means of being able to get on ones high horse and declare oneself superior.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Eh. I was spanked by my mother probably a dozen times or more growing up, and slapped well more than a handful.

I wouldn't say that it has harmed our relationship in any way, or my development. I'm actually rather close with my mother.

Now, on the other hand, while I respect the Hell out of my father, my relationship with him was a bit more stand-offish for a long time, even though he only spanked me a fraction of the times my mother did. I think that has to do with their styles of doing so more than anything else.

My mother was kind of like one of those little Hawaiian volcanoes; constantly fuming, but never really all that dangerous. She was also around a lot more, so there was more loving interaction to balance it out.

My father, however, worked a lot, so he wasn't around all that much. While he was generally pretty calm, when he did go off, it tended to be like Mount St. Helen's. :lol:

It is worth nothing, though, that this did gradually dissipate and even itself out as I aged into my teen years and young adulthood, and he started treating me as more of an equal than a child.
 
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Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

SouthernDemocrat said:
Do you have any kids?
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Yes. I have never spanked my kid. I also don't really endorse or buy into the whole punishment/criticism/consequences and rewards/praise ideas people have. :shrug:
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

iacardsfan said:
With the recent news of Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson being charged with child abuse in possibly two separate cases, I thought it would be a good time to pose the question of where to draw the line in punishing a child. It was always acceptable for me to get a spanking or slap when I was out of line as a kid, and that wasn't overly long ago. Now all of a sudden, Mr. Peterson is in hot water as a result. Granted, I was never spanked with a stick, but there were always some interesting objects involved. I just wanted to know if you believe it is allowable for an adult to use force that does not cause permanent damage in order to teach/ discipline their children. Please explain you answer.
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No, it's not acceptable to punish a kid with force. The only time I consider it acceptable to use force on a child is in self-defense or in order to prevent a kid from getting hurt or hurting someone else (i.e. if a kid runs into the street, pull the kid back). However, using force as punishment is what people do out of laziness, impatience or ignorance.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

iacardsfan said:
With the recent news of Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson being charged with child abuse in possibly two separate cases, I thought it would be a good time to pose the question of where to draw the line in punishing a child. It was always acceptable for me to get a spanking or slap when I was out of line as a kid, and that wasn't overly long ago. Now all of a sudden, Mr. Peterson is in hot water as a result. Granted, I was never spanked with a stick, but there were always some interesting objects involved. I just wanted to know if you believe it is allowable for an adult to use force that does not cause permanent damage in order to teach/ discipline their children. Please explain you answer.
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That wasn't a spanking Peterson is in hot water for. It was a beating.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Gathomas88 said:
Bears
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Bears also live in caves and eat out of trash cans.

Do you live in a cave and eat out of trash cans? I for one am glad we overcame those instincts.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Gathomas88 said:
Have you seen the way bears treat their offspring, by any chance?

What A Mama Bear Can Teach Humans About Disciplining Children | Spare The Kids

View attachment 67173205

bear2-300x193.jpg


View attachment 67173206

Again, I would be inclined to say that human parents possess many of the same instincts for a reason.

It is harmless if done properly.
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No, it's really not harmless. First off, physical assault is never never harmless. Second, it's not at all uncommon for adults to joke around about how they would straighten up when their parent got mad and joke quite openly about their need to avoid being abused. That is not an indication of a healthy loving relationship, but a indication of a relationship built on fear. Lastly, we are not bears and I don't care what bears do.
 
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Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Henrin said:
Yes. I have never spanked my kid. I also don't really endorse or buy into the whole punishment/criticism/consequences and rewards/praise ideas people have. :shrug:
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Well great, that is your choice as a parent. You don't get to impose your parental choices on other parents unless the actions of those other parents result in the injury or neglect of their children.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

CRUE CAB said:
Don't be coy, you know what I mean. You use a belt, switch, branch or whatever beyond the open hand. You should go to jail.
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No. No jail no punishment of any kind. I for one would on a jury would acquit a parent for disciplining child regardless the method. You and the rest of society do not get tell me how to raise my children, that is my families responsibility and ours alone.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Gathomas88 said:
It is corrective behavioral training.

Besides which, it is actually quite common in nature. Mammalian species commonly "cuff" their offspring when they act up.

It is what it is. :shrug:
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Its also common to kill them and eat them.:mrgreen:
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

PirateMk1 said:
No. No jail no punishment of any kind. I for one would on a jury would acquit a parent for disciplining child regardless the method. You and the rest of society do not get tell me how to raise my children, that is my families responsibility and ours alone.
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Even to the point of drawing blood and leaving scars. Even once they kid put their hands up and received defensive wounds? At FOUR YEARS OLD?
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

PirateMk1 said:
No. No jail no punishment of any kind. I for one would on a jury would acquit a parent for disciplining child regardless the method. You and the rest of society do not get tell me how to raise my children, that is my families responsibility and ours alone.
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You realize that you don't own your children.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

SouthernDemocrat said:
Well great, that is your choice as a parent. You don't get to impose your parental choices on other parents unless the actions of those other parents result in the injury or neglect of their children.
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If a woman assaulted me she would have trouble causing me any real injury unless she picked up a weapon of some sort. If I decided to file charges against her the law would still prosecute her for assault. :shrug: Just because your assault didn't physically injure the individual you assaulted doesn't mean it's not assault. It just means that either you didn't apply enough force to cause injury or you were stopped before injury occurred.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

CRUE CAB said:
Even to the point of drawing blood and leaving scars. Even once they kid put their hands up and received defensive wounds? At FOUR YEARS OLD?
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Yes. Acquittal all counts. You don't get a say in the rearing of others children. Its none of your business.

You also don't know the whole story on the AP matter.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Nilly said:
Bears also live in caves and eat out of trash cans.

Do you live in a cave and eat out of trash cans? I for one am glad we overcame those instincts.
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Whoopidy-doo! We're not bears. :roll:

That's why we don't pick our offspring up with our teeth and shake them like rag-dolls. That kind of thing can have a tendency to make our children... well... dead. lol

However, it doesn't change the fact that we share a great many instinctual behaviors in common, and those behaviors exist for a reason.

Modern squeamishness aside, there isn't a damn thing wrong with them as such.

Henrin said:
No, it's really not harmless. First off, physical assault is never never harmless. Second, it's not at all uncommon for adults to joke around about how they would straighten up when their parent got mad and joke quite openly about their need to avoid being abused. That is not an indication of a healthy loving relationship, but a indication of a relationship built on fear. Lastly, we not bears and I don't care what bears do.
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This is all rather subjective.

There is no evidence of lasting, or serious, harm caused by spanking.

PirateMk1 said:
Its also common to kill them and eat them.:mrgreen:
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What? It's a good source of protein! :mrgreen:
 
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Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Henrin said:
So assaulting someone is ok if they are dependent on you? I'm sensing a logic blackhole. :/
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Frankly, there are a lot of adults out there that would be better off if someone smacked them in the kisser just to get their attention every once in a while.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

I wonder how many of the anti -spanking crowd supports abortion. Which is more harmful to a child a spanking or just killing them outright?
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

CRUE CAB said:
I feared and respected my father. Yet, he never laid a hand on me. Ever.
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I don't want my children to fear me. It's just not how I want my relationship with them to be built. If it was your father and I found out you were scared of me I would do whatever I could to correct it.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Gathomas88 said:
Eh. I was spanked by my mother probably a dozen times or more growing up, and slapped well more than a handful.

I wouldn't say that it has harmed our relationship in any way, or my development. I'm actually rather close with my mother.

Now, on the other hand, while I respect the Hell out of my father, my relationship with him was a bit more stand-offish for a long time, even though he only spanked me a fraction of the times my mother did. I think that has to do with their styles of doing so more than anything else.

My mother was kind of like one of those little Hawaiian volcanoes; constantly fuming, but never really all that dangerous. She was also around a lot more, so there was more loving interaction to balance it out.

My father, however, worked a lot, so he wasn't around all that much. While he was generally pretty calm, when he did go off, it tended to be like Mount St. Helen's. :lol:

It is worth nothing, though, that this did gradually dissipate and even itself out as I aged into my teen years and young adulthood, and he started treating me as more of an equal than a child.
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Same here. Spankings from mom happened. Not often but they happened. Did not lasting harm and got across her displeasure with my behavior in ways that words couldn't have.

Dad. Well I never wanted to piss him off that badly. Funny thing is when I became an adult I realized what a ***** cat my dad was.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Henrin said:
I don't want my children to fear me. It's just not how I want my relationship with them to be built. If it was your father and I found out you were scared of me I would do whatever I could to correct it.
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Fear is a natural reaction. Its no like he threatened me or anything. I mostly feared letting him down once I got alittle older.
 
Re: Parents: Punishing Kids

Gaius46 said:
Same here. Spankings from mom happened. Not often but they happened. Did not lasting harm and got across her displeasure with my behavior in ways that words couldn't have.

Dad. Well I never wanted to piss him off that badly. Funny thing is when I became an adult I realized what a ***** cat my dad was.
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Exactly. My dad's a pretty relaxed and rational guy. He simply happens to have a temper. Most guys do.

That's why it's generally not considered to be a good idea to leave them all alone with small children. :lol:

They're simply not as well equipped to deal with that kind of stress as most women tend to be.

Don't get me wrong. I know he feels kind of bad about some of it, and he has made a deliberate effort to be more restrained with my younger siblings (I was the first of five).

However, I don't have any hard feelings over it. Stuff happens, and its not like he was ever "abusive" anyway. :shrug:
 
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