• This is a political forum that is non-biased/non-partisan and treats every person's position on topics equally. This debate forum is not aligned to any political party. In today's politics, many ideas are split between and even within all the political parties. Often we find ourselves agreeing on one platform but some topics break our mold. We are here to discuss them in a civil political debate. If this is your first visit to our political forums, be sure to check out the RULES. Registering for debate politics is necessary before posting. Register today to participate - it's free!

How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

We should be raising our daughters


  • Total voters
    86
That's true, and what jumps out at me is that no two children are exactly alike...even twins. In my case, our two boys have had their moments, but I know people who have had much more serious issues to deal with: ADHD kids and children with serious developmental disabilities, kids who started out normal and average, but started turning antisocial and getting in serious trouble in their teens, even if they tried their best to raise perfect children. On the other hand, those of us who have had a relatively easy time raising their children, can be all full of great advice, and have no idea how lucky they have been, and how unlucky some other parents have it!

Pretty much.

Which is why I would never presume to give parenting advice to anybody unless I know them and their children quite well. And even then, never unsolicited.
 
Are you suggesting that men/boys and women/girls are no different than each other? If so, then I think maybe you need to go back and take biology class again. I won't even get into the emotional/psychological/mental differences if you can't deal with the physical ones.

That isn't what "raising them the same way" means...
 
Good. I never liked the idea of talking to children like they are little idiots. I think it is counter productive.

Yeah... but lots of kids are idiots. If you talk to them in an educated manner you will need a dictionary, a white board and some time explaining what words mean and even then they will not understand or they will quickly forget.
 
Yeah... but lots of kids are idiots. If you talk to them in an educated manner you will need a dictionary, a white board and some time explaining what words mean and even then they will not understand or they will quickly forget.

Being a member of that generation I can attest that even that would be insufficient for the majority...
 
Being a member of that generation I can attest that even that would be insufficient for the majority...

I teach high school. There are some great minds out there. Then you get into the middle range students and you shake your head. Don't even bother with the lower end kids because they have zero chance of learning anything other than how to stock shelves or repave the road.
 
I teach high school. There are some great minds out there. Then you get into the middle range students and you shake your head. Don't even bother with the lower end kids because they have zero chance of learning anything other than how to stock shelves or repave the road.

I am attending a private day school, one that is reputed to be one of the top schools in the US. 200 year tradition, blah blah blah.
Then the reality: Most students have to be spoon-fed the answers to the test and they still can't get an A, all they have to do for homework is copy the textbook for 30 minutes and they can't do that, 9th graders are now learning basic elementary geometry (I was learning pre-calculus in South Korea before I got here) and content aside, the problems in the textbooks are incredibly easy. Just knowing how the type in the calculator and some incredibly basic word problems. Reading a 200-page novel is worth a month's assignment.

Then people wonder why US education is so failing.
 
I am attending a private day school, one that is reputed to be one of the top schools in the US. 200 year tradition, blah blah blah.
Then the reality: Most students have to be spoon-fed the answers to the test and they still can't get an A, all they have to do for homework is copy the textbook for 30 minutes and they can't do that, 9th graders are now learning basic elementary geometry (I was learning pre-calculus in South Korea before I got here) and content aside, the problems in the textbooks are incredibly easy. Just knowing how the type in the calculator and some incredibly basic word problems. Reading a 200-page novel is worth a month's assignment.

Then people wonder why US education is so failing.

It is happening in other countries too... I teach in New Zealand now and the average student thinks that writing a few pages of notes is a ton of work. They moan and act like they did so much. I have kids sitting in some classes that when I go over to see how they are doing since I see them only talking (after 10 minutes of work where I was helping other students) they will hold up a sentence and complain that they have done a lot. It is pathetic.
 
I have two kids. A son and a daughter. It's funny how opposite of gender stereotypes they are in lots of ways. My son is a creative, sensitive young man. He is athletic ( played football up through high school ) and now plays in a band and writes music. He is a mix of what many would consider classically male and female qualities. My daughter is very independent and tough, very academic, driven, not particularly creative and about the least athletic human being I have ever seen.

Point is, I ignored gender roles when raising them. Let their strengths rise to the surface and encouraged them to attempt everything that caught their interest. Gender roles are straight jackets. I suggest we help them discover whatever unique combination of qualities they have, take pride in what they uncover and help them learn not to be afraid of failure. (so long is she isn't an ax murderer under all those pink bows)

This. This is the approach I got, and I think it's a big part of the reason that I am fairing so much better than most women my age when it comes to self-esteem and direction. No one told me what to be. It was obvious very early what I was, and that got encouraged. It was also very obvious where I was weak, and I was encouraged to use my strengths to counterbalance that.

There was no aspect of it, except the mundanely obvious and physically necessary, that was centered around my sex or gender. Stuff like my attractiveness, whether I was into a sufficient amount of things girls "should" be into, was deemed so completely unimportant that it never even got raised. I didn't realize this stuff is apparently an obsession to most people until I was several years into school and started seeing the effect it was already having on my peers.

Girls shouldn't be raised "like boys," because first of all, the way we raise most boys ain't that great either. Men silence themselves into early graves because of the way we raise them. But second of all, which boy would we raise them like?

We should raise anyone to have all the tools they need to function as an adult and pursue whatever calls them, but beyond that, what's wrong with just raising them based on who they are?
 
Last edited:
Pack her in the car, drive to a local hospice, walk her into a room with two dying people. She can see the rich single woman, dying all alone and then look at the grandmother surrounded by her children and grandchildren who love her dearly and who will live on as a testament to her presence on this earth and will keep their love for this woman alive until their own dying dies.

Then ask my daughter which fate she prefers - to be alone with her money or her memories of being stuck in a lab working with cultures or with the people who enriched her life?

Dude, I got news for you. Most old people didn't really have much choice about having kids, and the overwhelming majority of those old people who never get a single visitor? They have kids.

Self-replicating does not guarantee you a nurse in old age. I have known people who decided not to be such (for reasons that, to me, are valid). There's bazillions of people for whom your "breed for the hospice care" approach has failed. Furthermore, not breeding does not exclude it. There is much more to living and loving, and many more people worth loving, and many ways to love them, and many reasons to stand by them.

And furthermore, that's an extremely selfish reason to bring someone into the world. That is the most selfish mindset I can possibly imagine.

And I find it really sad that you think a career dedicated to furthering human welfare and knowledge is so meaningless. You wouldn't have the life you do if it weren't for those people. Sad, truly, that you have so little appreciation for them, and diminish the potential of people so greatly. You owe them your quality of life.

And finally, family is much more than DNA. I have always known this, but I'm being reminded of it in a very real way at the moment, in fact. My genetic family is very small. My non-genetic family is bigger, and they are just as -- and in some cases, much more -- committed as my genetic family. They are astounding.
 
Last edited:
How should we be raising our daughters these days?
Could you explain to the forum why you make this poll mutually exclusive?


Is it really impossible to raise your daughter as a princess who is a strong and independent person? Do you really see females from that jaded POV?
 
It appears that there are trolls and potential family annihilators on this thread.
 
Yes, but, they are always willing try to blame you and try to have you thinking it is your fault.

i try not to get hung up on somebody i only know, and still know, online.
 
How should we be raising our daughters these days? Should we try to instill independence, strength, common sense, confidence, perseverance, self worth, and a strong desire to achieve great things?

(rest of original post deleted for brevity)

How do you think our daughters should be raised today?

My vote; the same I was raised; to be a strong, independent woman, confident in my ability to do anything I set my mind to, and to avoid being pressured into doing things I DON'T want to do.

Being a weak, submissive wallflower, dependent on a man for every little thing in life, NEVER sat well with me. It still doesn't.
 
We need to go back to teaching our daughters that they have a wonderful and extremely important place in the world. A role that no man can ever take over and do as well as she can. She is the foundation of a family. Her husband may be the beautiful house that everyone sees as they drive down the road, but she is the foundation, the support structure that her husband and children are built upon. She is the undisputed ruler of the home. It is her greatest achievement to create a home where her husband and family feel comfortable, loved, and supported.

GAG :roll:
 
How did you know that's what I do every time I walk into the office and see women there?

I didn't know that. But now I do and am curious: Are there any female bosses? If so, do you just gag or go on and vomit when you have to deal with them?
 
If I had a daughter, I would teach her:

To treat everyone fairly regaurdless of race, gender, or thought:

There are still children heavily influenced by their parents beliefs which are dated and out of touch with current day morality.

To allow herself to rely on others (to trust) but not to her detriment:

To many people today are actually TO INDEPENDENT! This has gotten in the way of healthy relationships both with friends and significant others. Trust has gone out the window. That being said, I would also teach her the pitfalls of trusting the wrong person. It is not always bad to give someone a chance with your trust and let them fail, but if you decide to gamble, make sure it's a gable you can afford to loose.

To not take advantage of her own gender, but also understand that their is beauty in being a female. As well as utility in being male.

I would teach my daughter that she should not conform to the current culture of taking advantage of her gender. She should be willing to do anything she asks someone else to do for her, or at least try it. But at the same time understanding there is a difference between men and women and those differences are beautiful and not indicative of submissiveness or discrimination. To many women today do not appreciate what men do for them and even worse, feel that what men can do for them enslaves them instead of helps them. Blaming men for their inherent biological differences that they can do nothing about. That taking a submissive role and trusting a man to make a decision and standing behind him, right or wrong, is not a bad thing. But at the same time, not being submissive to her detriment. That both men and women should be submissive to each other. That is the only way a healthy relationship can go on.

To abandon the idea that a man should approach her to initiate a relationship and that the jocks in life are the ones she should be interested in:

It is time for women to step up to the plate and believe in what they preach. They want to be equal in the office at work, but still want to play the submissive role when it comes to dating. Then they want to complain about all the assholes they attract when they don't do anything to go out and initiate a relationship. When I say initiate a relationship, I don't mean to choose from the group of guys that approach her, but to go out and approach a guy herself without initiation from the guy. I would teach her that the best way to find a good guy is to make an effort to approach one. To throw the traditional notions out the window that an attractive guy has to be an alpha male ("jock"), has to be make a lot of money (post high school jock type), or have a high status. Because none of this matters. What matters is if she is in love with the person, not the superficialness of him, but the heart of the person.

Those are just a few things I would teach my daughter, if I had one.
 
If I had a daughter, I'd raise her to be the best female of all time.
 
I didn't know that. But now I do and am curious: Are there any female bosses? If so, do you just gag or go on and vomit when you have to deal with them?

No female bosses in my area. If I had to deal with a female boss it would be by quitting. In fact I turned down a potential promotion back in 2006 because it would have meant working for a woman.
 
The assumption here it is that we create personality of our offspring. That is half of the truth.

The agreement between genetic and environmental determinst's today is that offspring are genetically pre-desposed to be something, environment defines how much of that thing they will be. So if the daughter is strong in becoming something of her own choosing then she has to go out and look for the appropriate environment that supports it. If not she should stay here and go along with the expectations of the environment here.
 
How did you know that's what I do every time I walk into the office and see women there?

Yeah, I'm sure you do. It must be so hard for you, knowing women can and DO work in offices, even be the BOSSES in some of those offices. Too bad.

Even though you prefer that women be nothing more than slaves in the home, catering to a man's every stupid whim, you'll just have to deal with the fact that women AREN'T stuck in such a miserable existence for the rest of their lives. At least not in the United States, unless a woman has the worst luck in the world to end up married to a guy who is stuck in the 12th century or earlier where women are concerned. Thank goodness that will NEVER be me.
 
No female bosses in my area. If I had to deal with a female boss it would be by quitting. In fact I turned down a potential promotion back in 2006 because it would have meant working for a woman.

At least you're honest, Tigger.

There are other men who secretly chafe at being chaired/directed/led by a woman--not many, but some, and I think a few of them are secretly very angry.
 
Back
Top Bottom