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How We Raise Our Daughters - 21st Century [W:87,158,368]

We should be raising our daughters

  • Total voters
    86
RiverDad said:
I know quite a few women who are professors in the biological sciences. The road from university, to graduate school, through the thickets of conducting original research for a dissertation, hopping from one post-doc appointment to another until one can snag a faculty position and then having to scour around for funding doesn't leave much room for romance nor for a dual-career couple working in the same city. The upshot is that it's much easier to travel that road as a single woman than as a married woman. Science really is a lifestyle choice.
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It is still possible, even then it is your daughter's choice. I would also like to know would you do the same your son?
 
Why do some people feel the need to dominate themselves over women? Is it just a power thing? Like they realize in the back of their mind that they aren't actually worthy of respect, perhaps they are failures at life, and therefore feel the need to invent some narrative as to why people, namely women, owe them respect for no other reason than the swinging dick between their legs?
 
Phys251 said:
"I know how to raise my child better than everyone else on the planet!" --Believes every child abuser ever.
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You are a sick and nasty weasel for calling American a child abuser.

To Hell with you.
 
LadyMoonlight said:
Love exists, Tigger, I can assure you of that. I love my son, my daughter and my four grand daughters with depth and sincerity. I do not look out for just myself or exist for just myself. Romantic love I have had little of....I loved and lost (my ex-husband walked out one day when the kids were very young) and have not been fortunate enough to have loved, or to have been loved by a man, again. I would (almost) sell my soul to be loved, to have what I see my married colleagues at work have. Tis not to be and I know that leaves me with a hole in my life. Like me, I think that you and your fiance probably wrap a coat of cynicism about love around you...it helps to ward of hurt and disappointment and it means one can avoid all the pain that goes with that. To let one's guard down requires a leap of faith that is difficult to take, but there is a sadness of the soul, an emptiness that comes from spending one's time, in my case decades, protecting ourselves from the hurt that we think love brings.
I wish you and your fiance happiness if not love in the future.
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To truly love someone is to see the face of God, they say.

To have children that I would gladly sacrifice my life for is a level of love that cannot be explained in words.
 
American said:
:lol: Nah, I tell them she's my liberal and I love her anyway. :mrgreen:
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My condolences on your plight but perhaps you can find hope in the following words - political orientation is a heritable trait and youthful deviation often corrects itself as the individual gets older. Many women can testify to this as they look in the mirror in middle age and realize that they've become their mother in terms of behavior when as young women they swore that they would follow a different path.

Even if the above doesn't bear fruit, there is still one last hope - if she marries a conservative man, woman have a strong tendency to shape/shift their own political views to more closely match those of her husband. Just hope and pray that a fate worse that death doesn't befall her - that she marries a liberal man, a PajamaBoy.
 
Dragonfly said:
How should we be raising our daughters these days?

Should we try to instill independence, strength, common sense, confidence, perseverance, self worth, and a strong desire to achieve great things?


Or should we raise them to be dependent, submissive, shy, and always in need of protection? Wallflowers?


Should we push them towards greatness?

Or should we teach them that their place is always in the background?

Should we have a desire for them to be the leader, the captain, the driver?

Or should we teach them to accept always being the passenger, along for the ride but never making the decisions or steering the boat?


Should we raise our daughters as achievers? CEO's? Entrepreneurs? Bosses?

Or should we raise them to be followers?


Should we tell our daughters they can be ANYTHING they wish to be? Whether it be a mother of 5 kids, or the scientist that cures cancer while stationed on Mars after having piloted the first mission to Mars?

Or should we tell our daughters their place is to be a good, quiet, and submissive "second" to their spouse?

Should we raise your daughters to be strong?
Or are they to be weak and defenseless?


How do you think our daughters should be raised today?
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good question and has a father i do everything in the bolded and all the stuff not bolded is mentally retarded and IMO neglect and abuse

I give he the told so she can make her own decisions, if she WANTS to be in the background thats her choice but she will never be a victim and forced in the background its really simple, i raise her just like i would a boy in those regards
 
also i would have voted for both these but there was no multiple choice

no different than how we raise our sons
to be independent and strong individuals
 
Carjosse said:
It is still possible, even then it is your daughter's choice. I would also like to know would you do the same your son?
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Same with a son. Look, I can count on the constant cultural firehosing to swamp my daughters with the "career at all costs" viewpoint, so it's up to her parents to make the best case possible for the "family always first" viewpoint. The best tactic is to live the example, but that doesn't mean that we should shrug off the tactic of driving the point home via argument and external examples.
 
I am trying to raise my girls to be strong and independent. My oldest daughter has stumbled a lot, but is doing very well now. She has a new job, making decent money, and just passed her 1 year mark with her new company, and is 2 months into a fantastic new promotion. After the struggles she's had, I'm very, very proud of her.

My younger daughters - I don't see the issues with them that I had with my oldest. My middle has already planned that she wants to teach special needs children, and is working toward that goal, alongside her guidance counselor to get her where she needs. My youngest - my baby - my right-brained partner in crime? She wants to go to SCAD (Savannah College of Art and Design). She is turning into quite the artist, and is musically inclined, much like her mother. She probably won't get rich majoring in art, nor will my middle daughter get rich being a teacher -- but it will make them happy. It's what they want to do, and as long as they enjoy what they do, they will never have to work a day in their life.
 
I guess both strong and independent and a princess. I'm a strong supporter that you should raise your children to empower their natural traits, but at the same time expand their mind and try to make them independent thinkers strongly motivated to reach their goals. I don't believe there is anything wrong with girls being raised as girls and boys being raised and boys, and I don't believe it conflicts in any sort of way with raising your children to be strong and independent. I do however think there is something wrong with raising the two sexes the same.
 
Dragonfly said:
How should we be raising our daughters these days?

Should we try to instill independence, strength, common sense, confidence, perseverance, self worth, and a strong desire to achieve great things?


Or should we raise them to be dependent, submissive, shy, and always in need of protection? Wallflowers?


Should we push them towards greatness?

Or should we teach them that their place is always in the background?

Should we have a desire for them to be the leader, the captain, the driver?

Or should we teach them to accept always being the passenger, along for the ride but never making the decisions or steering the boat?


Should we raise our daughters as achievers? CEO's? Entrepreneurs? Bosses?

Or should we raise them to be followers?


Should we tell our daughters they can be ANYTHING they wish to be? Whether it be a mother of 5 kids, or the scientist that cures cancer while stationed on Mars after having piloted the first mission to Mars?

Or should we tell our daughters their place is to be a good, quiet, and submissive "second" to their spouse?

Should we raise your daughters to be strong?
Or are they to be weak and defenseless?


How do you think our daughters should be raised today?
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I don't have daughters, but this question reminded me that one of reasons cited for the increase in eating disorders in teenage and even preteen girls is because they are being saddled with higher expectations than boys today in our culture.

Girls are expected to excel in school by their parents, to be beautiful - by the constant barrage of messaging they receive from advertising and pop media, to achieve in sports now, to be kind, well mannered by everyone.....is it any wonder why there are so many girls with bulimia and anorexia today?
 
Tigger said:
We need to go back to teaching our daughters that they have a wonderful and extremely important place in the world. A role that no man can ever take over and do as well as she can. She is the foundation of a family. Her husband may be the beautiful house that everyone sees as they drive down the road, but she is the foundation, the support structure that her husband and children are built upon. She is the undisputed ruler of the home. It is her greatest achievement to create a home where her husband and family feel comfortable, loved, and supported.
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In other words, girls are only of value for their breeding potential....sounds like traditional conservative family values...I can't wait to see what the rest of this thread has to offer!
 
The other thing, raise your daughters to not be chubby. Eating peanut butter right out of the jar is not cool. Nutella is not healthy just because it's nuts.

Too many American women could stand to drop a couple pounds.
 
Tigger said:
That would suggest modern society is something to be emulated instead of the immoral, disgusting, and indecent cesspool which is destroying humanity that it actually IS.

I look at it this way.... Are we Better or Worse off TODAY than we were prior to the Women's Sufferage Movement gaining traction in the early part of the 20th Century? Technologically we are immensely superior, but socially and societally I would suggest that we are incalculably inferior to the society that existed prior to the Women's Sufferage and then Femistm movements of hte 20th Century.
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Sure, blame women and the movements started by women to end their oppression, for the social degradation caused by conservative men. You brought us laissez-faire capitalism, where the only value is money and the accumulation of more money, and then you complain about moral decay!
 
Tigger said:
She doesn't believe in Love either, LM. For different reasons we both learned that Love does not really exist before we were 15 years old. We got to see the darkness in the human heart very early in life and understand that the only person anyone looks out for is themselves. She'll be 33 this year and I'll be 40. Neither one of us has found anything to change our view on Love over that period of time.

The idea that parenthood changes people is one of the reasons I've never had a significant interest in it.
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You have my pity, as does she.

You two sound great for each other...please do not have children, especially females.
 
Dragonfly said:
Just have her read your posts regarding love, child rearing, and such.

Have these exact same conversations with her, and answer to her like you answer to us.

If that doesn't change her mind, you should be very afraid that you might be mixed up with a ...............
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Is he for real, or is he just another trolling idiot who just makes up ****?
 
'We' should not be teaching our daughters to do/be anything.

Just offer the basic necessities of life, unconditional love, answer as many of their questions of theirs as you can and allow them the freedom to find their own place in the world.

Most parents are average at best and often pretty messed up themselves...the last thing they should be doing is trying to 'mold' another human being.

The arrogance of most parents never ceases to amaze me.
Most of them barely can handle their own lives...but now they think they are suddenly SO wise that they can guide another sentient human being.

:rolleyes:
 
Commie said:
Is he for real, or is he just another trolling idiot who just makes up ****?
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Good question. All I can say is he's consistent. I'm guessing he's more bark than bite....and hoping that as well.
 
Look, nowhere have I, or anyone else suggested that parents should never buy their daughters dresses, or allow them to take dance lessons, or play with dolls, or paint their nails.....or just be girls.

This isn't about forcing your daughter to play football, wear camo, and sport a crew cut.

Obviously girls are different than boys in many ways.

However, that's not to say some serious gender role stereotypes still exist.

Saying "you can't do that - you're a girl" is what I'm talking about.

There's still plenty of people in this country who think a woman can't and shouldn't ever be the POTUS. For no other reason than being a woman. (And NO - this isn't about Hillary or anyone else in current political headlines....)

Hell, women still don't make the same money men do for doing the same jobs.

The Geography Of The Gender Pay Gap: Women's Earnings By State - Forbes

Knowledge Center | Catalyst.org


All I'm saying is - if your child, regardless of what genitalia they possess, wants to become an engineer, biologist, orthodontist, veterinarian, plumber, carpenter, electrician, teacher, nurse, EMT, police officer, home maker, pilot, or even POTUS, the parents should support and encourage that child to be the greatest they can be in that chosen field.

Some roads might be tougher to travel, but that doesn't or shouldn't mean those roads are automatically off-limits.
 
Commie said:
In other words, girls are only of value for their breeding potential....sounds like traditional conservative family values...I can't wait to see what the rest of this thread has to offer!
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Not just breeding.... cooking, cleaning, keeping the house, raising the children, etc... What they are not of value for is their abilities in the workforce at large.


Commie said:
Sure, blame women and the movements started by women to end their oppression, for the social degradation caused by conservative men. You brought us laissez-faire capitalism, where the only value is money and the accumulation of more money, and then you complain about moral decay!
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You're more than welcome to move to some Socialist/Communist country like Cuba. I'm sure the swim to get there would get you in shape if you aren't already. The problem with our economic system is that people are not actually punished for their unwillingness to participate in it because those of your political ilk (like FDR) have provided them with a safety net to keep them from starving or freezing to death. Money isn't the value.... POWER is. It has been since the beginning of time and that hasn't been any different in any Socialist/Communist system that has ever existed either.


tecoyah said:
You have my pity, as does she. You two sound great for each other...please do not have children, especially females.
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Hold onto your pity for someone who gives a **** about it. We are very compatible. You'll have to talk to her about the children issue.


Commie said:
Is he for real, or is he just another trolling idiot who just makes up ****?
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I don't have the time, creativity or energy for making stuff up.
 
Tigger said:
Remember that I don't believe in Love. I never have and probably never will. I believe in two things: Right and Wrong. Beyond that there is nothing.
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Actually no; beyond that you believe there is nothing...big difference.


Btw, so you don't love your 'life partner'...assuming you have one?
 
DA60 said:
Actually no; beyond that you believe there is nothing...big difference.
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My experience show me there's nothing beyond that.

DA60 said:
Btw, so you don't love your 'life partner'...assuming you have one?
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Nope, nor does she "love" me. We're planning our wedding for this July. We udnerstand that our relationship is built on mutual compatibility of physical and social needs, philosophy, and ideology.
 
Tigger said:
My experience show me there's nothing beyond that.



Nope, nor does she "love" me. We're planning our wedding for this July. We udnerstand that our relationship is built on mutual compatibility of physical and social needs, philosophy, and ideology.
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Fair enough.

Though I think 'leads me to believe' would be more accurate to 'show me'.

Since you only know a tiny fraction of the world's population, you cannot know there is no love, you can only believe it.

I am not saying you are wrong about love, I am just sayin'...
 
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Well my experience tells me "love" not only exists, but is real.

I love my wife. She loves me. I love my daughters, and they love me.

Life is not always "fair", and sometimes it can be quiet harsh, but that doesn't mean "love does not exist".

That's just stupid.
 
Guys, don't let Tigger get you down. He thrives on threads like this. Loves to stir up sand with his outrageous look on life. I don't feel sorry for his fiancé, because she allows him to treat her this way. :shrug:
 
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