I'm pretty sure that ALL statistics would disagree with your personal assessment. :lol: This is just Captain Obvious stuff. Men will use their "higher paying income" and their "brute physical strength" to their advantage, but if a woman uses her "feminine wiles" then she is bad, very bad.
Not to mention the obvious here as well, but have you been reading some of the posts? I really don't understand your "us against them" attitude, especially seeing as how YOU are a woman, allegedly. It's mind-boggling to say the least.
I think the idea is more that men and women "control" relationships in different ways.
Men are more direct, straight forward, and prone to overt displays of power. Women, on the other hand, are subtle, passive-aggressive, and sometimes even manipulative in the power they exert.
As long as it's not taken to extremes, there really isn't any problem with this per se. I don't have any problem with a woman "holding her own" in a relationship so long as she's not a harpy about it and is in some sense feminine.
I just tend to not get on very well with women who favor a more masculine approach.
Personally, I might have gone for a relationship like that when I was in my teens and 20s perhaps, but now not so much. I wouldn't want to be dependent upon another person for my money. I want to have my own money and my freedom,
To be fair here, Chris, don't you work from home already, and weren't you working that job for at least a portion of the period of time when you were living with your ex, who worked outside of the house?
That's basically a modified version of the "traditional model" which allows a woman to earn her own money while still being able to "play mother" for her children right there.
In this regard, I think a lot of people tend to misunderstand what the "traditional model" actually is. (For persons other than Tigger, anyway) It's more of a general strategy than a set way of doing things.
My mother, for instance, chose to stay home. However, it's hardly like she was locked in the house beholden to my father, or spent all of her time eating bonbons, cooking, and cleaning.
Most of the time, she was teaching my siblings and I, planning field trips, or putting together curriculum for us to use. That basically was her "career" while we were growing up, and it was pretty much completely hers. Other than to provide an occasional lesson on some subject in which he was particularly knowledgeable at my mother's request, my father played little to no role in this whatsoever.
I'm really not all that keen on having any more babies at 35 years old.
I can certainly understand that.
Ironically though, having children into one's thirties and forties seems to rapidly be becoming the "new normal" in our society, at least for middle and upper class demographics. Many "career women" aren't even having their first children until
at least 35 these days.
I don't know if that's a good idea, per se, but it is something we're seeing more and more.
I said that's how you make it sound, but anyway I think this is more related to personality types. I think the types of guys who would go for more traditional types of relationships would naturally tend to be more on the "controlling" side.
How "controlling" a person happens to be really kind of depends upon their personality.
My father and I are a lot alike in this regard, actually. We're both
very opinionated in terms of how things
should be done under ideal or theoretical circumstances, and both rather "dominant" in terms of personality. However, we're far more easy going and laissez-faire when it comes to practical application than our initial attitudes might suggest.
My father simply didn't care enough to try and "dictate" what anyone in the house did in absolute terms, much less enforce it day in and day out.
He's was
muuuuch too lazy for that. :lol:
Omg, :lol:
Yes, Chris, I've been lying all this time, and am actually a man. Jesus H Christ.
It is not mind-boggling (or at least it shouldn't be) to imagine that men and women both use whatever is at their disposal to get what they want in a relationship, which in people who have emotional or mental issues, seems to be rather common. I honestly haven't met men who are bossy and controlling of women- perhaps it's a difference between southern and northern women which explains it- southern women tend to be pretty straightforward and go for what they want-I'm really not sure. I grew up in a very traditional environment, in which men were usually the breadwinners, and women were wives and mothers. That being said, the women I grew up around are among the strongest women I've ever known. I don't know any of them who are subservient to their male counterparts. In fact, they tend to be a bit on the sassy and adventurous side.
Oh, and I'm not "against" anyone. I am contributing my own thoughts and observations to the thread, as I assume most of us do.
This is growing to be less true over time, but I do think that Southern culture tends to be generally more "traditional" than most of the rest of the country. This reality does manifest itself in our approach to relationships in a lot of cases as well.
While our women are a lot more classically "feminine" than those from other regions, it would be a mistake to view them as being push overs because of this.
As many a broken hearted country song can attest, they can be downright evil when they want to be. :lol: