German guy
DP Veteran
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2010
- Messages
- 5,187
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- Location
- Berlin, Germany
- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Moderate
Re: Men: Would You Marry an American Woman?
Now of course you can correct me, and I will gladly admit error in a couple of decades should my wife and I be divorced, but as far as I can tell now, we're really committed and take our marriage very seriously, yet we're not living traditional gender roles. She's very ambitious and is soon going to make her PhD, and I have agreed to stay at home and work half-time at best, taking care of our little daughter, to allow her to go on with her carreer.
Now that's never been a matter of dispute between the two of us. She's much more ambitious than I am, plus I totally love children and have certain health problems that probably make me more efficient at home than as major bread winner. I've never seen my goal of life in status or power anyway, but I'd be really proud if I manage to bring up our kids well.
Neither my wife nor I consider our marriage a limited companionship, but are very traditional about the "til death do us part" thing. So yeah, maybe we're not statistically the norm, and I certainly don't judge other people for their choices, but I don't think roles diverting from traditional roles necessarily mean limited, not-so-serious relationships.
To an extent, if I understand what you are saying here, I probably agree. As I previously posted, I have probably been married, to the same guy, for more years than most of you are old. And we've had just about every scenario you can think of thrown at us in all that time, but we got through it, and we are still best friends, companions, and very much in love. But. . . .even though I have worked most of those years that we were married, we had a traditional marriage because we both wanted it that way. He was the chief bread winner and head of household; I was the heart of the home and supplemented our income while arranging my life that I could also be there for the kids when they needed a parent. People have been engaging in marriage for a very long time now, and many have figured out how to make it work to everybody's satisfaction.
I could add that there was a year or so in there that he tried to retire and stay home and be a house husband. I had a great paying job with long, demanding hours, and that sounded great to me. I always figured I would have it made if I just had a good wife. But we found out we were both uncomfortable switching roles like that. It just didn't feel right. We just aren't wired the same.
Now of course you can correct me, and I will gladly admit error in a couple of decades should my wife and I be divorced, but as far as I can tell now, we're really committed and take our marriage very seriously, yet we're not living traditional gender roles. She's very ambitious and is soon going to make her PhD, and I have agreed to stay at home and work half-time at best, taking care of our little daughter, to allow her to go on with her carreer.
Now that's never been a matter of dispute between the two of us. She's much more ambitious than I am, plus I totally love children and have certain health problems that probably make me more efficient at home than as major bread winner. I've never seen my goal of life in status or power anyway, but I'd be really proud if I manage to bring up our kids well.
Neither my wife nor I consider our marriage a limited companionship, but are very traditional about the "til death do us part" thing. So yeah, maybe we're not statistically the norm, and I certainly don't judge other people for their choices, but I don't think roles diverting from traditional roles necessarily mean limited, not-so-serious relationships.