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Poll for men only please, regarding sex with younger women[W:74]

As a young man (early 20s) would you date a 15 or 16 year old?

  • Sure, why not?

    Votes: 13 15.1%
  • Hell no!

    Votes: 73 84.9%

  • Total voters
    86
Well, most guys aren't interested in girls because they're intriguing, because they're not. They're usually exciting, exasperating, bewildering, infuriating but rarely do guys think "That girl is intriguing." Guys will go after younger girls because the guys are interested in sex and they're similarly motivated with same-age girls. The reverse is also true though. The guys who are looking for relationships are looking for emotional chemistry, not a debating partner and that emotional chemistry, I believe, isn't as age-constrained as you imagine it to be. A relationship is about how two people interact and a sustained relationship is about how two people interact with each other while simultaneously developing their individual interests and personality. If there is emotional chemistry and respect present, then the immaturity of one partner is dealt with in some fashion just as same-age relationships deal with issues like one partner having an STD or having a scarred heart from a brutal break-up. People work with the limitations which present themselves.



Sure, I acknowledged that in my very first post in this thread.

I'm trying to think of just ONE relationship that I'm aware of (nowadays of course) where a 15-year-old is having a very "serious" relationship with anyone, and I think it's pretty rare. They just aren't really that interested in adult relationships at that age and they don't understand commitment. They ARE immature as hell generally speaking. I'm sorry, but I just see a relationship such as you describe as more like babysitting for the 20-year-old, except for the sex part. I certainly don't think it's in a 15-year-old girl's best interest to be involved with a man in his 20s, but I am not unrealistic and I realize that sometimes people in their 20s and teens may get together. I STILL think 15 is much TOO young though. Some girls haven't even gotten their periods yet! :lol:
 
Re: Poll for men only please, regarding sex with younger women

I'm eighteen and I'd date a 15/16 year old, but I won't vote in the poll.

I realized that 12 and 13 year olds often look like 15-16 years olds and will sometimes lie about their age. Then I remembered my senior year of high school and I thought a chick I was dating was 23 but she was 18. Of course one friend of mine in Southern California avoids the problem altogether and he mostly tries to hook up with cougars and he's had some success.
 
I'm trying to think of just ONE relationship that I'm aware of (nowadays of course) where a 15-year-old is having a very "serious" relationship with anyone, and I think it's pretty rare.

It doesn't have to be only a 15 year old. You could think 16 and 17 too. The best vantage place to see such relationships is from the point of view of same-age girls or from 20-something young men. Do you know many people who fit into those groups? Upthread some women have chimed in with their own experiences. They met these guys at church. Church is not usually a fertile hunting ground for one-night stands. Understand that I'm not arguing the position that this is common and that when some guys are on the prowl SPECIFICALLY for young girls that they're not after sex and only sex. My point is simple - these young women are attractive. Neoteny is an appealing trait. Women lose beauty and sex appeal as they age. There is a ramp-up effect in their mid teens, where an older teen is actually more attractive than a younger teen, but the apex isn't too far off. The bloom of youth is a fact. My second point is that when lightning strikes it strikes - guys and girls who aren't searching for age-disparate romance often times find themselves realizing that something has kindled between two friends. Clearly the guys here weren't the ones out cruising for young girls to take advantage of.

They just aren't really that interested in adult relationships at that age and they don't understand commitment.

This though is not a function of biology, it's a function of peer socializing and cultural signals. Because this is a matter of socialization, there will always be young girls who defy the crowd. They are ready to take on an adult relationship and they do understand commitment because that's the choice that they're making. I'm not seeing the mechanism which allows a 21 year old virgin women, never having been kissed before, to understand how relationships and commitment work. This isn't something which we all pick up through osmosis.

They ARE immature as hell generally speaking.

That's the natural birth control to which I was referring to earlier in the thread.

I'm sorry, but I just see a relationship such as you describe as more like babysitting for the 20-year-old, except for the sex part.

As others have already pointed out in this thread, I think you're granting too much credit to the maturity of young men. Look, if you construct a scenario of polar opposites, the most immature 16 year old girl you can imagine and pair her with the most mature 21 year old man you can imagine, then sure, that's likely a babysitting scenario but it's also unlikely that they'd ever pair up.

I certainly don't think it's in a 15-year-old girl's best interest to be involved with a man in his 20s,

And therein lies a debate.
 
Re: Poll for men only please, regarding sex with younger women

You're demonstrating why.

You only have one purpose with me - and your opinion isn't it.

You're an ass with little respect for women. We get it.
 
It doesn't have to be only a 15 year old. You could think 16 and 17 too. The best vantage place to see such relationships is from the point of view of same-age girls or from 20-something young men. Do you know many people who fit into those groups? Upthread some women have chimed in with their own experiences. They met these guys at church. Church is not usually a fertile hunting ground for one-night stands. Understand that I'm not arguing the position that this is common and that when some guys are on the prowl SPECIFICALLY for young girls that they're not after sex and only sex. My point is simple - these young women are attractive. Neoteny is an appealing trait. Women lose beauty and sex appeal as they age. There is a ramp-up effect in their mid teens, where an older teen is actually more attractive than a younger teen, but the apex isn't too far off. The bloom of youth is a fact. My second point is that when lightning strikes it strikes - guys and girls who aren't searching for age-disparate romance often times find themselves realizing that something has kindled between two friends. Clearly the guys here weren't the ones out cruising for young girls to take advantage of.



This though is not a function of biology, it's a function of peer socializing and cultural signals. Because this is a matter of socialization, there will always be young girls who defy the crowd. They are ready to take on an adult relationship and they do understand commitment because that's the choice that they're making. I'm not seeing the mechanism which allows a 21 year old virgin women, never having been kissed before, to understand how relationships and commitment work. This isn't something which we all pick up through osmosis.



That's the natural birth control to which I was referring to earlier in the thread.



As others have already pointed out in this thread, I think you're granting too much credit to the maturity of young men. Look, if you construct a scenario of polar opposites, the most immature 16 year old girl you can imagine and pair her with the most mature 21 year old man you can imagine, then sure, that's likely a babysitting scenario but it's also unlikely that they'd ever pair up.



And therein lies a debate.

I'm always hearing men complain that this is a "cultural" thing. It is what it is. Are you going to go backwards in time and take away technological and medical advances, as well as advances in many other scientific fields, in order to make life the way it was when it was "acceptable" for men to be with young girls?

There's really nothing to discuss. Life is the way it is. Young teen girls are NOT going to be more mature or more ready for an adult intimate relationship (which is complicated for even ADULTS to handle in a lot of cases) because you find them attractive or sexy. There is WAY more to a successful relationship, unless one wants to oppress women.
 
And here is a big place where men and women are SO different. I could never have a relationship with a person who I considered too childish and immature. I would feel like really old (and I'm only 35 LOL), and for me I would certainly prefer to stick with persons my own age or older. In some instances, I might consider younger, but it would have to be a very mature person who had some things going for him. Although sex is a VERY important of a relationship to me, there are other things that are important too.

Oh, and I would NEVER date a teenage. :lamo I would feel so foolish!
 
It doesn't have to be only a 15 year old. You could think 16 and 17 too. The best vantage place to see such relationships is from the point of view of same-age girls or from 20-something young men. Do you know many people who fit into those groups? Upthread some women have chimed in with their own experiences. They met these guys at church. Church is not usually a fertile hunting ground for one-night stands. Understand that I'm not arguing the position that this is common and that when some guys are on the prowl SPECIFICALLY for young girls that they're not after sex and only sex. My point is simple - these young women are attractive. Neoteny is an appealing trait. Women lose beauty and sex appeal as they age. There is a ramp-up effect in their mid teens, where an older teen is actually more attractive than a younger teen, but the apex isn't too far off. The bloom of youth is a fact. My second point is that when lightning strikes it strikes - guys and girls who aren't searching for age-disparate romance often times find themselves realizing that something has kindled between two friends. Clearly the guys here weren't the ones out cruising for young girls to take advantage of.



This though is not a function of biology, it's a function of peer socializing and cultural signals. Because this is a matter of socialization, there will always be young girls who defy the crowd. They are ready to take on an adult relationship and they do understand commitment because that's the choice that they're making. I'm not seeing the mechanism which allows a 21 year old virgin women, never having been kissed before, to understand how relationships and commitment work. This isn't something which we all pick up through osmosis.



That's the natural birth control to which I was referring to earlier in the thread.



As others have already pointed out in this thread, I think you're granting too much credit to the maturity of young men. Look, if you construct a scenario of polar opposites, the most immature 16 year old girl you can imagine and pair her with the most mature 21 year old man you can imagine, then sure, that's likely a babysitting scenario but it's also unlikely that they'd ever pair up.



And therein lies a debate.

I have to say that I find that part in bold above and your link interesting. Are you implying that ALL teenage girls are beautiful and once they are no longer teens, they are no longer beautiful? Are you also suggesting that some women don't get more beautiful as they age?

IMO, beauty is beauty. You either have it or you don't (it's also EXTREMELY subjective). There are all different looking, shaped and sized teenagers, just as within any age group. If you are referring to women who are over 40 and perhaps showing signs of their age, I don't think that men necessarily find that "unattractive" or a "turn off" either. It all depends on how well she has held up I would think.

So just what is that you are suggesting in regards to beauty?

Also, I would think that sometimes the little girl baby faces might be a turn off for SOME men at least. Some men might like a more mature looking female.
 
LOL! Like I said there are "exceptions" to every rule. I still think it's really weird though. :lol:

True enough and IIRC her student was actually quite a bit younger than 15. To look at a 12 or so child and be like "Yeah, I want to tap that", well there's something seriously wrong whether you're male or female.
 
True enough and IIRC her student was actually quite a bit younger than 15. To look at a 12 or so child and be like "Yeah, I want to tap that", well there's something seriously wrong whether you're male or female.

I can't disagree with that. I can't see myself EVER looking at a teenage in a sexual way. I'm not really sad about it either. :lol:
 
Are you implying that ALL teenage girls are beautiful and once they are no longer teens, they are no longer beautiful?

Clearly not. We all know that some boys and girls are butt-ugly and for girls, their youth can't make them attractive. What I'm saying is that our brains are wired in specific fashion and youthful look translates into sexual appeal. There will, of course, be variations in play. The truth of the phenomenon isn't found in single-instance tests, it's found in the patterns which arise from multiple tests. Take a random sampling of 200 women who are 29 and take another sampling of 200 women who are 21 and ask a random sampling, a huge sampling if you want, of men of all ages, to rate the women in attractiveness. You'll find that there is a strong correlation between youthfulness and attractiveness. Repeat the experiment and drop the ages of women, say to 26 and 18. You'll see the same pattern. Keep dropping the ages and eventually the pattern reverses.

Are you also suggesting that some women don't get more beautiful as they age?

Sure they do. As noted above, there is an apex that has to be reached. Climbing upwards from 15 to X age, the girl gets more beautiful and then after hitting X she gets less beautiful. That age, X, is going to vary with individual women, but repeat the tests above and you'll derive a group mean.

IMO, beauty is beauty.

We can all have opinions, but are they self-serving and ego-protecting or are they tested against reality? Women offering opinions on beauty, as seen by men, is as suspect as men offering opinions on what women find attractive in men.

You either have it or you don't (it's also EXTREMELY subjective).

Not really that subjective at all, actually. Sure, there will always be outliers, but follow some of the links on that page and see how these issues are validated with experimental tests. It's hard to train people to find beautiful what they once thought was ugly.

There are all different looking, shaped and sized teenagers, just as within any age group.

Absolutely. That's not the point though. What's in play is the odd developmental stage of adolescence and into young adulthood. The proportion of body size to arm size, to head size, facial symmetry, skin elasticity, etc. The shape of the face as it is maturing. At certain stages of development/aging the features are more attractive than at other stages. This applies to all the different looking, shaped and sized teenagers.

If you are referring to women who are over 40 and perhaps showing signs of their age, I don't think that men necessarily find that "unattractive" or a "turn off" either. It all depends on how well she has held up I would think.

Over-40 is long past apex. This is like men telling themselves that "a potbelly isn't a turnoff." What men find attractive or a turn-off is both objective and subjective. Most men who are 40 couldn't catch the interest of 23 year old women. They'd love to get them in the sack, but very few of them can. They target, or find attractive, the women that they can match up with. This process is, of course, moderated by factors which make relationships more enticing - the woman is more mature, they have more in common, she's not as idealistic anymore, she's not as clingy, etc. Whatever makes for a better match. That though is a different issue than how beauty is judged in isolation. As a general rule you can't go wrong with "younger is more beautiful."

This of course sets up life's great practical joke on women. Men, as they age, will continue to date from a pool of women which encompasses younger and younger women, so their pool of women keeps increasing. A 30 year old man has a larger pool of potential mates than a 23 year old man. Women, as they age, begin competing for men with younger women, and so the competition increases and they generally prefer not to date as age-disparate as men (think trophy wives).

Also, I would think that sometimes the little girl baby faces might be a turn off for SOME men at least. Some men might like a more mature looking female.

I'm not sure what you mean by little girl baby faces. Yeah, actual little girl faces don't turn on the sex attraction in men's minds. They're little girls, after all. That's not what you mean though, is it? Why not find some examples and post them and get men in this thread to respond. Or start a new thread. It would be an interesting experiment, especially with an anonymous poll.

Men WON'T find mature women more sexually attractive than young women. Not in a test of sexual attractiveness alone. For relationships, they'll bargain and convince themselves, but if they could get a Genie and 3 wishes, they'd likely construct for themselves a younger woman (we're no longer on subject here (15-17) and now we're talking actual women, not girls) in appearance with the personality of an age-appropriate woman.
 
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True enough and IIRC her student was actually quite a bit younger than 15. To look at a 12 or so child and be like "Yeah, I want to tap that", well there's something seriously wrong whether you're male or female.

With these female teachers, I suspect that there is some misfiring going on with the sexual attraction and maternal instinct circuits. 12 year old boys just don't fire up the sexual attraction circuits in women.
 
Clearly not. We all know that some boys and girls are butt-ugly and for girls, their youth can't make them attractive. What I'm saying is that our brains are wired in specific fashion and youthful look translates into sexual appeal. There will, of course, be variations in play. The truth of the phenomenon isn't found in single-instance tests, it's found in the patterns which arise from multiple tests. Take a random sampling of 200 women who are 29 and take another sampling of 200 women who are 21 and ask a random sampling, a huge sampling if you want, of men of all ages, to rate the women in attractiveness. You'll find that there is a strong correlation between youthfulness and attractiveness. Repeat the experiment and drop the ages of women, say to 26 and 18. You'll see the same pattern. Keep dropping the ages and eventually the pattern reverses.



Sure they do. As noted above, there is an apex that has to be reached. Climbing upwards from 15 to X age, the girl gets more beautiful and then after hitting X she gets less beautiful. That age, X, is going to vary with individual women, but repeat the tests above and you'll derive a group mean.



We can all have opinions, but are they self-serving and ego-protecting or are they tested against reality? Women offering opinions on beauty, as seen by men, is as suspect as men offering opinions on what women find attractive in men.



Not really that subjective at all, actually. Sure, there will always be outliers, but follow some of the links on that page and see how these issues are validated with experimental tests. It's hard to train people to find beautiful what they once thought was ugly.



Absolutely. That's not the point though. What's in play is the odd developmental stage of adolescence and into young adulthood. The proportion of body size to arm size, to head size, facial symmetry, skin elasticity, etc. The shape of the face as it is maturing. At certain stages of development/aging the features are more attractive than at other stages. This applies to all the different looking, shaped and sized teenagers.



Over-40 is long past apex. This is like men telling themselves that "a potbelly isn't a turnoff." What men find attractive or a turn-off is both objective and subjective. Most men who are 40 couldn't catch the interest of 23 year old women. They'd love to get them in the sack, but very few of them can. They target, or find attractive, the women that they can match up with. This process is, of course, moderated by factors which make relationships more enticing - the woman is more mature, they have more in common, she's not as idealistic anymore, she's not as clingy, etc. Whatever makes for a better match. That though is a different issue than how beauty is judged in isolation. As a general rule you can't go wrong with "younger is more beautiful."

This of course sets up life's great practical joke on women. Men, as they age, will continue to date from a pool of women which encompasses younger and younger women, so their pool of women keeps increasing. A 30 year old man has a larger pool of potential mates than a 23 year old man. Women, as they age, begin competing for men with younger women, and so the competition increases and they generally prefer not to date as age-disparate as men (think trophy wives).



I'm not sure what you mean by little girl baby faces. Yeah, actual little girl faces don't turn on the sex attraction in men's minds. They're little girls, after all. That's not what you mean though, is it? Why not find some examples and post them and get men in this thread to respond. Or start a new thread. It would be an interesting experiment, especially with an anonymous poll.

Men WON'T find mature women more sexually attractive than young women. Not in a test of sexual attractiveness alone. For relationships, they'll bargain and convince themselves, but if they could get a Genie and 3 wishes, they'd likely construct for themselves a younger woman in appearance with the personality of an age-appropriate woman.

Well, this is a long post, so I'm not responding to all of this now, but I think you are wrong. I've seen women who were over 30 and even some over 40 who were more beautiful and attractive than some teenagers, so your poll idea would be completely dependent on the pictures chosen. I could choose a picture of Angelina Jolie versus some average looking teenage girl. :lol: Beauty is dependent upon the person IMO, and of course a beautiful person is going to be MORE beautiful at age 20 than at age 40, but they still have beauty. Whereas another woman of another age may not have the same level of beauty.

Oh, and about the little girl faces. There are PLENTY of 15 and 16 year old girls who still have a "baby" look to their faces, so I don't know what you're arguing about there. That's just a fact. The face really doesn't change too much between the ages of say 12 and 15.
 
Clearly not. We all know that some boys and girls are butt-ugly and for girls, their youth can't make them attractive. What I'm saying is that our brains are wired in specific fashion and youthful look translates into sexual appeal. There will, of course, be variations in play. The truth of the phenomenon isn't found in single-instance tests, it's found in the patterns which arise from multiple tests. Take a random sampling of 200 women who are 29 and take another sampling of 200 women who are 21 and ask a random sampling, a huge sampling if you want, of men of all ages, to rate the women in attractiveness. You'll find that there is a strong correlation between youthfulness and attractiveness. Repeat the experiment and drop the ages of women, say to 26 and 18. You'll see the same pattern. Keep dropping the ages and eventually the pattern reverses.



Sure they do. As noted above, there is an apex that has to be reached. Climbing upwards from 15 to X age, the girl gets more beautiful and then after hitting X she gets less beautiful. That age, X, is going to vary with individual women, but repeat the tests above and you'll derive a group mean.



We can all have opinions, but are they self-serving and ego-protecting or are they tested against reality? Women offering opinions on beauty, as seen by men, is as suspect as men offering opinions on what women find attractive in men.



Not really that subjective at all, actually. Sure, there will always be outliers, but follow some of the links on that page and see how these issues are validated with experimental tests. It's hard to train people to find beautiful what they once thought was ugly.



Absolutely. That's not the point though. What's in play is the odd developmental stage of adolescence and into young adulthood. The proportion of body size to arm size, to head size, facial symmetry, skin elasticity, etc. The shape of the face as it is maturing. At certain stages of development/aging the features are more attractive than at other stages. This applies to all the different looking, shaped and sized teenagers.



Over-40 is long past apex. This is like men telling themselves that "a potbelly isn't a turnoff." What men find attractive or a turn-off is both objective and subjective. Most men who are 40 couldn't catch the interest of 23 year old women. They'd love to get them in the sack, but very few of them can. They target, or find attractive, the women that they can match up with. This process is, of course, moderated by factors which make relationships more enticing - the woman is more mature, they have more in common, she's not as idealistic anymore, she's not as clingy, etc. Whatever makes for a better match. That though is a different issue than how beauty is judged in isolation. As a general rule you can't go wrong with "younger is more beautiful."

This of course sets up life's great practical joke on women. Men, as they age, will continue to date from a pool of women which encompasses younger and younger women, so their pool of women keeps increasing. A 30 year old man has a larger pool of potential mates than a 23 year old man. Women, as they age, begin competing for men with younger women, and so the competition increases and they generally prefer not to date as age-disparate as men (think trophy wives).



I'm not sure what you mean by little girl baby faces. Yeah, actual little girl faces don't turn on the sex attraction in men's minds. They're little girls, after all. That's not what you mean though, is it? Why not find some examples and post them and get men in this thread to respond. Or start a new thread. It would be an interesting experiment, especially with an anonymous poll.

Men WON'T find mature women more sexually attractive than young women. Not in a test of sexual attractiveness alone. For relationships, they'll bargain and convince themselves, but if they could get a Genie and 3 wishes, they'd likely construct for themselves a younger woman in appearance with the personality of an age-appropriate woman.

Could you possibly make us sound more shallow? All that may be true for initial attraction or just physical attraction that goes no further. As corny as I know this is going to sound, I find more than just appearance to be attractive. Things like a sense if humor counts for a lot. I'd much rather be with someone whose fun (and thinks I'm fun) than someone who won't go on the roller coaster because it'll mess up her hair.
 
Men WON'T find mature women more sexually attractive than young women. Not in a test of sexual attractiveness alone. For relationships, they'll bargain and convince themselves, but if they could get a Genie and 3 wishes, they'd likely construct for themselves a younger woman (we're no longer on subject here (15-17) and now we're talking actual women, not girls) in appearance with the personality of an age-appropriate woman.

I don't think that's necessarily true in all cases. Sure, I'm sure plenty of men might feel that way. Maybe that's true for yourself and your situation, but I think that depends on just how beautiful current wife in question is.
 
Could you possibly make us sound more shallow? All that may be true for initial attraction or just physical attraction that goes no further. As corny as I know this is going to sound, I find more than just appearance to be attractive. Things like a sense if humor counts for a lot. I'd much rather be with someone whose fun (and thinks I'm fun) than someone who won't go on the roller coaster because it'll mess up her hair.

Geez, it's nice to hear from a guy who doesn't find us over-30 women to be repulsive. :lol:
 
To be fair though, I think the poster means that if you don't know the personality, and you just stand, say a 17-year-old next to a 30-year-old, which one would you choose? That is REALLY shallow though. LOL! Also, it would depend on how good-looking each was I think, but that's just me. I'm not a dude, so I don't really know.
 
Could you possibly make us sound more shallow? All that may be true for initial attraction or just physical attraction that goes no further.

Hey, I tried to walk a fine line by acknowledging the difference between sexual attraction and relationship attraction, so I'm not seeing where I'm portraying men as shallow and you even admit that it is true with respect to sex appeal alone. For Pete's Sake, we have an actual laboratory that we can reference - the porn market. Men don't view porn with an eye to judging women as relationship material. Are there a lot of fun 40 year old porn stars? The feedback information in the industry is pretty sophisticated. Producers will soon know how men are responding to each "star" that is featured. Young talent is more valued than old talent and this young-old bracket is evident even in a woman's 20s.

For your amusement:



As corny as I know this is going to sound, I find more than just appearance to be attractive. Things like a sense if humor counts for a lot. I'd much rather be with someone whose fun (and thinks I'm fun) than someone who won't go on the roller coaster because it'll mess up her hair.

Yeah, but now we're in different territory, this is more than a romp.
 
Oh, and Mr. RiverDad. Don't think that your wife might not see some hot guy with a much hotter bod than yours and perhaps do a little fantasizing of her OWN. LOL! ;)
 
Hey, I tried to walk a fine line by acknowledging the difference between sexual attraction and relationship attraction, so I'm not seeing where I'm portraying men as shallow and you even admit that it is true with respect to sex appeal alone. For Pete's Sake, we have an actual laboratory that we can reference - the porn market. Men don't view porn with an eye to judging women as relationship material. Are there a lot of fun 40 year old porn stars? The feedback information in the industry is pretty sophisticated. Producers will soon know how men are responding to each "star" that is featured. Young talent is more valued than old talent and this young-old bracket is evident even in a woman's 20s.

For your amusement:





Yeah, but now we're in different territory, this is more than a romp.


I've heard that MILF porn is pretty popular. :lol:
 
It's an interesting question but I guess it all depends on the situation and the people involved.

My question is to anyone who is married to, or with a partner with a large age difference, who they feel strongly is their "soulmate". Would knowing how strong that connection is between you now have mattered then if you had met when one was 16 and the other 23? Would you just have walked away from that knowingly just because of it is a cultural taboo?

I think it does depend on the people.
 
A social worker and her aged client...

Clare-in-the-community-Ag-002.jpg
 
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