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commiting suicide ?

thougts about suicide

  • l never attempted to commit suicide

    Votes: 33 36.7%

  • l tried to commit suicide once

    Votes: 5 5.6%

  • l tried to commit suicide more than once

    Votes: 5 5.6%

  • l thought about commiting suicide but never attempted

    Votes: 28 31.1%

  • l never thought about commiting suicide

    Votes: 26 28.9%

  • l usually tend to commit suicide but always prevent myself

    Votes: 3 3.3%

  • other

    Votes: 9 10.0%
  • Total voters
    90
I've considered it. Never too seriously. Always just an extreme thought my brain throws up when things aren't going well.
Now, I have serious trouble in social situations and very few friends, plus I'm gay (although not out yet). That takes its toll. I hate not being able to be honest, but I always remind myself I'll never get a chance to be honest about who I am if I end my life.
So I've considered it, but I promise you I'm not ending up in the obituaries anytime soon.
 
Smeagol said:
I know this might sound crazy to some but the closest I've ever felt to suicidal thoughts was one I had a parttime job and while sitting among co-workers I felt a strong thoughts of suicide out of nowhere and for no apparent reason. Later that day I shared this with one friend who informed me that there was another co-worker who was actually contemplating taking their lives. Maybe a sign for God to pray for them?
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Could have been.
 
themoderate said:
I've considered it. Never too seriously. Always just an extreme thought my brain throws up when things aren't going well.
Now, I have serious trouble in social situations and very few friends, plus I'm gay (although not out yet). That takes its toll. I hate not being able to be honest, but I always remind myself I'll never get a chance to be honest about who I am if I end my life.
So I've considered it, but I promise you I'm not ending up in the obituaries anytime soon.
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Welcome to the board! :2wave:

About your post - why don't you find someone to talk to? A therapist, or someone from school, or a friend? I just feel like anyone that would even allow the possibility in their head, could go further with it. Don't let it get so bad that you feel like it's the only way out. Try talking to someone first. :)
 
No need for a therapist or anything---I'm not going to take my own life. Ever. Plus I'm feeling better than I have in a while. From age ten onward I was in a painful period of denial when I started to realize I'm gay, but in March I started being honest with myself and it was the best feeling ever :) So I'm fine. And I don't see things going anywhere but up from here. Taking my life has always been the crazy thought that I ignored, the "no, I can't do that" thought, if you will.
 
CanadaJohn said:
As I've gotten older, I've thought about end of life issues - I think most people these days do. I am a very independent person and if/when the time comes when that independence is no longer assured, I believe I will find a way to cease living rather than have a life dependent totally on others.
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This is how I feel. I'm single, with no kids and live alone. I wouldn't expect my close friends, brother or sisters, nor my niece and nephews to take care of me.

I have also suffered from depression and anxiety attacks in the past, so I know how the mind can lead one to contemplate suicide. Meditating on death is a normal part of life, isn't it?
 
Andalublue said:
This is how I feel. I'm single, with no kids and live alone. I wouldn't expect my close friends, brother or sisters, nor my niece and nephews to take care of me.

I have also suffered from depression and anxiety attacks in the past, so I know how the mind can lead one to contemplate suicide. Meditating on death is a normal part of life, isn't it?
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I have sat talking to many suicidal people...they take your energy..they have left me feeling great whilst I have felt depleted..midnight calls till the early hours of the morning..ringing me over and over again..and in the end topping themselves..

They seem to have pressed a self-destruct button..and there was nothing I could do..(Samaritans!)
 
My sib's best friend, and someone my whole family loved, committed suicide at 22. Every night for weeks somebody would stay on the phone with him all night to "talk him through it," but the night finally came when nobody was home. And he did it. Carbon monoxide, of course; he would never have left an icky corpse. His brother had done that. Had told his little brother to step out of his bedroom and then put a shotgun in his mouth. Their mother used pills.
 
nota bene said:
My sib's best friend, and someone my whole family loved, committed suicide at 22. Every night for weeks somebody would stay on the phone with him all night to "talk him through it," but the night finally came when nobody was home. And he did it. Carbon monoxide, of course; he would never have left an icky corpse. His brother had done that. Had told his little brother to step out of his bedroom and then put a shotgun in his mouth. Their mother used pills.
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Maybe there is a ''suicide'' gene...
Many people I have spoken to.. who have suicidal tendencies have had other suicides in their close family environment..
 
nota bene said:
My sib's best friend, and someone my whole family loved, committed suicide at 22. Every night for weeks somebody would stay on the phone with him all night to "talk him through it," but the night finally came when nobody was home. And he did it. Carbon monoxide, of course; he would never have left an icky corpse. His brother had done that. Had told his little brother to step out of his bedroom and then put a shotgun in his mouth. Their mother used pills.
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wolfie said:
Maybe there is a ''suicide'' gene...
Many people I have spoken to.. who have suicidal tendencies have had other suicides in their close family environment..
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Could be that sometimes, kids emulate their parents. "Well, it worked for Mom so it'll work for me."

What in that family could have been so bad that three people took their lives?
 
Superfly said:
Could be that sometimes, kids emulate their parents. "Well, it worked for Mom so it'll work for me."

What in that family could have been so bad that three people took their lives?
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I worked for the ''Samaritans'' for 3 years..I don't know if America has the same thing..

I worked nightly from 10 pm to 4am..it was called the ''suicide watch''.

Most of the people were drunk..split from boyfriend/girlfriend..it takes a lot of energy from you..you imagine all sorts of scenarios..

Stupid thing was..my husbands best friend had a split up from his wife and was suicidal because she had gone to live with a close buddy of his..he called me night and day, came round our house where I would talk about whatever he wanted to..(my husband wasn't good at this!)

I never refused to talk to him..night or day

It was exhausting..I had twin boys at the time...

One day, both my babies had the flu..and when he phoned me I said''I can't speak to you at the moment, I will call you back in an hour''

In that time..he got a rope and hung himself in the garage..

I still feel guilty!!
 
wolfie said:
I worked for the ''Samaritans'' for 3 years..I don't know if America has the same thing..

I worked nightly from 10 pm to 4am..it was called the ''suicide watch''.

Most of the people were drunk..split from boyfriend/girlfriend..it takes a lot of energy from you..you imagine all sorts of scenarios..

Stupid thing was..my husbands best friend had a split up from his wife and was suicidal because she had gone to live with a close buddy of his..he called me night and day, came round our house where I would talk about whatever he wanted to..(my husband wasn't good at this!)

I never refused to talk to him..night or day

It was exhausting..I had twin boys at the time...

One day, both my babies had the flu..and when he phoned me I said''I can't speak to you at the moment, I will call you back in an hour''

In that time..he got a rope and hung himself in the garage..

I still feel guilty!!
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wolfie

not everybody can help everyone everytime

he would do it another time if he didnt do when you didnt help him

but l would feel guilty too
 
Risky Thicket said:
What Luther said and some of what liz said. Suicide is a most selfish act. I don't believe people in their right mind can do it.

I've never thought about it. Having known or responded to people who did or who tried, I can't imagine people knowingly causing others so much grief.
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... Lets look at it from the depressed person's point of view.

So, when the depressed person is weighing the misery they feel, which is enough to make them dearly wish to end their life, they are supposed to consider how it will make others sad, and continue their existence in what they perceive to be an inescapable state of abject misery? I am sorry if I think it is the survivors who would be the selfish ones thinking a depressed person should be thinking about them. The depressed person is living a black hole of an emotional wasteland, and are supposed to countenance living it indefinitely for the sake of others feelings? I think not.
 
wolfie said:
I worked for the ''Samaritans'' for 3 years..I don't know if America has the same thing..

I worked nightly from 10 pm to 4am..it was called the ''suicide watch''.

Most of the people were drunk..split from boyfriend/girlfriend..it takes a lot of energy from you..you imagine all sorts of scenarios..

Stupid thing was..my husbands best friend had a split up from his wife and was suicidal because she had gone to live with a close buddy of his..he called me night and day, came round our house where I would talk about whatever he wanted to..(my husband wasn't good at this!)

I never refused to talk to him..night or day

It was exhausting..I had twin boys at the time...

One day, both my babies had the flu..and when he phoned me I said''I can't speak to you at the moment, I will call you back in an hour''

In that time..he got a rope and hung himself in the garage..

I still feel guilty!!
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What Medusa said. You can't save everybody. If somebody really, truly wants to die, they are going to die no matter what. If they are that (pardon the pun) dead-set on taking their own life, it's just a matter of time.
 
Superfly said:
What Medusa said. You can't save everybody. If somebody really, truly wants to die, they are going to die no matter what. If they are that (pardon the pun) dead-set on taking their own life, it's just a matter of time.
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I had the feeling..no matter what I said..I was speaking to a (soon to be dead).. man..He didn't want to be left alone and yet he didn't want anyone to be near him...

He wasn't above using the ''if you don't speak to me now I will top myself'' blackmail bizzo..

I was just surprised he did it so quickly though..
 
wolfie said:
I had the feeling..no matter what I said..I was speaking to a (soon to be dead).. man..He didn't want to be left alone and yet he didn't want anyone to be near him...

He wasn't above using the ''if you don't speak to me now I will top myself'' blackmail bizzo..

I was just surprised he did it so quickly though..
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And to make it worse, he's left you with this albatross around your neck. I'm sorry.
 
wolfie said:
I worked for the ''Samaritans'' for 3 years..I don't know if America has the same thing..

I worked nightly from 10 pm to 4am..it was called the ''suicide watch''.

Most of the people were drunk..split from boyfriend/girlfriend..it takes a lot of energy from you..you imagine all sorts of scenarios..

Stupid thing was..my husbands best friend had a split up from his wife and was suicidal because she had gone to live with a close buddy of his..he called me night and day, came round our house where I would talk about whatever he wanted to..(my husband wasn't good at this!)

I never refused to talk to him..night or day

It was exhausting..I had twin boys at the time...

One day, both my babies had the flu..and when he phoned me I said''I can't speak to you at the moment, I will call you back in an hour''

In that time..he got a rope and hung himself in the garage..

I still feel guilty!!
Click to expand...

I am sure others have said this to you in your life: it seriously isn't what you did or didn't do. You were awesome to this person. Their depression was just bigger than they could handle.

There really is no reasonable expectation that would say you have to be available to someone else on demand and without fail. Seriously. You were compassionate and kind, and the depressed person ought to have been nothing but grateful (and possibly very much was).
 
Superfly said:
And to make it worse, he's left you with this albatross around your neck. I'm sorry.
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Looking back..I don't think he cared..I was trying..he was not..

Now look what you've made me do...:2wave:
 
wolfie said:
I had the feeling..no matter what I said..I was speaking to a (soon to be dead).. man..He didn't want to be left alone and yet he didn't want anyone to be near him...

He wasn't above using the ''if you don't speak to me now I will top myself'' blackmail bizzo..

I was just surprised he did it so quickly though..
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The blackmail was probably just desperation caused by fear of what they knew they were considering. That doesn't help you though. It really goes back to that there is much that is not rational in their thinking. The bottom line is that healthy people cannot let their own lives be overwhelmed by another person's mental state.
 
wolfie said:
Looking back..I don't think he cared..I was trying..he was not..

Now look what you've made me do...:2wave:
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That's why you can't let it get to you. You have to realize that you did everything you could, and he was going to do this no matter what you said or did.
 
Superfly said:
Could be that sometimes, kids emulate their parents. "Well, it worked for Mom so it'll work for me."

What in that family could have been so bad that three people took their lives?
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Inherited mental illness? My family has a history of bi-polar and depression. Fortunately we're all quite close and check on each other constantly.
 
Andalublue said:
Inherited mental illness? My family has a history of bi-polar and depression. Fortunately we're all quite close and check on each other constantly.
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Sure. My grandmother had issues with anxiety, my mother has issues with anxiety, I have issues with anxiety. My grandmother and my mother were both on anti-anxiety medication, but I can't take it because it has adverse side effects with me, and I'd rather have the anxiety than the side effects.
 
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