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Formal education has nothing to do with insight. Some of the most perceptive people that I have known, my wife for one, have had no formal education beyond "specialized (Herbal, Midwifery, Ayurvedic, etc.) and your commentary is no exception. You point out some great insights, but I feel that this is just part of how it is. I feel that you are not addressing the "Choice" that people are making in not spending as much time together, or with their kids. You might be more correct than I give you credit for, but thus far, I don't see an compelling reason as to why people can't revert back to a simpler time and be more involved with their kids.
parents who are gainfully employed make more positive role models for children than parents who are unemployed
A role model for working is all well and good, but if the child's core is not whole because the parents were not with the child enough to guide them through the minor lessons of every day, then the child will grow up and be as lost as everybody else. See, I kow lots of people that think that they have it together because they have a good job and all that, but they are so messed up and they don't have a clue about it, or as to why if they have a minor clue. I would rather see a parent doing the best they can though, all things being equal.
It requires a complete denial of the (mostly quite positive) changes the world has undergone in the past century.
I disagree. These changes have no bearing on how parents COULD be rasing their kids. Antio-biotics and successful childbirth and such do not mean that there should be more break-ups, less committment, two-income familes...all that last one does is drive up prices since people can afford more, but the yare then setting themselves and society up for higher costs and no choice in having two-income families. Surely this must be obvious.
I understand that some people like gender roles, and I would never stand in the way of their playing a particular role... but I think it's important to recognize that this is merely fun and games today. It's a role-playing game. It's a choice you can make at will, to adopt a particular role, and to shed it when you get tired of playing.
That is an extremely negative way to look at it IMO, and it is insulting to those that feel that roles are, in fact, important.
But to claim that this choice is necessary- or desirable for everyone, or even most- is just laughable.
...or necessary, desirable, or even an option at all (due to low-income or divorce, etc.). I agree.
This is by no means criticizing those who choose to have large families or to invent work for themselves which keeps them in the home, isolated from the outside world.
But this is the deal, you describe it as an "invention" of work. As if people could just do or want to do "whatever"... For us, we don't have much money, so we do without a LOT of things that most people take for granted. We "Choose" to play with our kids instead of even having a TV. We "Choose" to have one of us work odd hours that affects our sleep so that we can spend quality, and I mean
quality, time with our kids.
We don't
invent anything. We do without a lot that most people would not so that we can actively
raise our kids, so that
WE can educate them...
Though I don't like to give terms to too many things, what we do is essentially called "Attachment Parenting".
Those that can't do this, simply can't. That is just how it is. But many people could do this and choose to NOT. They "choose" to do things that they want to do and many times that means prioritizing things in front of spending time with their kids. That is just a fact and we see many many many parents that do this. In fact I would say that MOST parents do this and they think that this is just how it is done and how it has always been done. It is NOT how it has always been done.
People used to have more connectedness with family, the tribe, the village, their circles. They don't anymore. People move apart from family, families break up now more than ever, their are no more tribes or village concepts, and circles are a far cry from what they were.
People created a society that has everything spread apart and that disconnects people. That is just a fact. Are we better than those that look at us as if we are crazy when we tell them how much time we spend with our kids and that my wife Tandem Nursed and that we carry them everywhere instead of tossing them in baskets even though it makes it harder in a sense...Nope. But we do make an effort to minimalize so that it is easier for us to spend more time at the store than those that have to rush about.
Anyway, thank you for sharing how you see things. I am just trying to impart how I wish things could be and I don't expect that it will ever go back. Things change and I am trying to plant a seed in peoples mind, that is all. I am hoping that if people can make one teeny weeny little change that will help kids connect better, they will choose to do so.
I taught for a while and I have been involved in Early Childhood Education for a long time....I see how disconnected the average kid is. It sucks.