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at what age should teenagers be considered adult ?

the age of consent

  • the ones under 18 should be considered child

    Votes: 20 37.7%

  • the ones under 14 should be considered child

    Votes: 4 7.5%

  • the ones under 21 should be coınsidered child

    Votes: 6 11.3%

  • the ones over 14 should be allowed to marry too

    Votes: 1 1.9%

  • the ones under 14 or 15 shouldnt be allowed to have sex if they are child

    Votes: 2 3.8%

  • they are not child if they have physical maturity

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • they need both emotional and physical maturity to have sex

    Votes: 7 13.2%

  • it depends on individual differences

    Votes: 8 15.1%

  • l dont care

    Votes: 1 1.9%

  • others

    Votes: 12 22.6%
  • Total voters
    53
ChrisL said:
What makes people upset is when she attributes things to them which they never said and uses dishonesty in her arguments. That is NOT a "cultural difference."
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People need to remember that Medusa's first language is not English. I don't think anything ever happens that isn't just simple miscommunication. She does try - very hard . . . and people should do the same for her.

We are a multi-cultural board with international members and - lets face it - SOME members are rude as all hell to our international members which has pushed several away from the forum. Which is the opposite of this forum's interests. Thankfully Medusa is rugged and can handle issues that come up.

(granted - this thread isn't going too bad - some other ones have, though)
 
Aunt Spiker said:
People need to remember that Medusa's first language is not English. I don't think anything ever happens that isn't just simple miscommunication. She does try - very hard . . . and people should do the same for her.
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Have you read the polygamy thread yet? If not, I suggest that you do. It is definitely more than a simple language barrier. It is someone who cannot win an argument on the merits, so they resort to smarmy comments, accusations and deliberate misinterpretations.
 
Aunt Spiker said:
People need to remember that Medusa's first language is not English. I don't think anything ever happens that isn't just simple miscommunication. She does try - very hard . . . and people should do the same for her.

We are a multi-cultural board with international members and - lets face it - SOME members are rude as all hell to our international members which has pushed several away from the forum. Which is the opposite of this forum's interests. Thankfully Medusa is rugged and can handle issues that come up.

(granted - this thread isn't going too bad - some other ones have, though)
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it seems it is not her first language either if we consider she accused me of supporting pedophilic marriages although l have been repeating that l hate such perversions



she is sensitive about this issue..tahts all.
 
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Aunt Spiker said:
People need to remember that Medusa's first language is not English. I don't think anything ever happens that isn't just simple miscommunication. She does try - very hard . . . and people should do the same for her.

We are a multi-cultural board with international members and - lets face it - SOME members are rude as all hell to our international members which has pushed several away from the forum. Which is the opposite of this forum's interests. Thankfully Medusa is rugged and can handle issues that come up.

(granted - this thread isn't going too bad - some other ones have, though)
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Hmm. That's funny how she can use that both ways. She says that people who say she can't understand English well enough have lost the argument because that's all they are left with. OTH, NOW she can say that she doesn't understand English well enough to make a coherent argument?

Nope, she doesn't get any "special" allowances, unless of course she is willing to admit that she DOES NOT understand English well.
 
For me the age of consent is a very amorphous thing that depends on more than a few factors:..... the maturity level of both individuals involved, the ages of both participants, the length of the relationship prior to the begining of sexual contact, the ability for the individuals to deal with the potential consequences of the act, etc.... In my mind it's much more about the ability for both parties to understand what they're doing, to adequately provide knowledgeable consent, undersand and deal with the potential consequences of the act, and to take responsibility for those consequenes if they come to pass.

By that reasoning I know sixteen year olds who I feel are adequately mature to be engaged in sexual relations while I know at least one guy in his mid-to-late thirties who I don't believe should be engaging in any sexual act; even if/when his wife wants to.
 
I think 18 is too young, I think it should be increased to 21.
 
ChrisL said:
Hmm. That's funny how she can use that both ways. She says that people who say she can't understand English well enough have lost the argument because that's all they are left with. OTH, NOW she can say that she doesn't understand English well enough to make a coherent argument?

Nope, she doesn't get any "special" allowances, unless of course she is willing to admit that she DOES NOT understand English well.
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can you show where i said l dont understand english well enough ?

in this thread ?
 
digsbe said:
I think 18 is too young, I think it should be increased to 21.
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The thing is, if we increase it to 21, why not 25? The whole concept that EVERY person of any particular age is Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally prepared to engage in sexual relations is ridiculous on its face. It's a very difficult thing to decide even at what age the Majority of individuals wold be mature enough to make those decisions.
 
Tigger said:
The thing is, if we increase it to 21, why not 25? The whole concept that EVERY person of any particular age is Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally prepared to engage in sexual relations is ridiculous on its face. It's a very difficult thing to decide even at what age the Majority of individuals wold be mature enough to make those decisions.
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I don't think most people will wait until 25, although I don't have a major problem with it I think 25 may be unreasonable from a time perspective. I do think that having it at 18 is a mistake. I don't think the average 18 year old who is still in high school, hasn't worked a full time job, has lived off of their parents with no major responsibilities and isn't emotionally or mentally mature should be considered an adult regarding the age of consent.
 
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digsbe said:
I don't think most people will wait until 25, although I don't have a major problem with it I think 25 may be unreasonable from a time perspective. I do think that having it at 18 is a mistake. I don't think the average 18 year old who is still in high school, hasn't worked a full time job, as lived off of their parents and ins't emotionally or mentally mature should be considered an adult regarding the age of consent.
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I would suggest that most 25 year olds I know are not emotionally or mentally mature enough to be considered adults either. However, I think both of us know that unless we make some massive changes to society as a whole, even 18 is likely to be nothing more than a pipe-dream in terms of most young people waiting to engage in sexual acts. If I honestly thought our system could handle it, I would suggest that it be dealt with on a case-by-case basis, but I know that's asking way too much of our legal system and our society.
 
Maenad said:
Where I went to law school, teens having sex with one another was not considered illegal. Even if one turned 18, if they were close in age, charges were not pursued, although some parents waited with bated breath for that day. In the nether regions of that state the standards didn't seem to ever hold up. I recall reporting a 36 year old who had impregnated a 15 year old to Children's Services. The response from the work on the phone, 'yeah, so?'


If you are looking for distinctions, then understand that 'pedophilia' is a psychiatric diagnosis. The legal issue is 'rape of a child' or 'statutory rape' depending on the age of the child.
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l really know it is......

but if a 20 years old man has sex with a 17 years old girl

sorry but it doesnt seem pedophilia....

they are both consent........
 
Medusa said:
l really know it is...... but if a 20 years old man has sex with a 17 years old girl. sorry but it doesnt seem pedophilia.... they are both consent........
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Are they? You're certain about that? I could provide with with several situations where it was not consentual on one or both parts which would not be pedophilic or rape....

That's why I believe it needs to be looked at on an individual basis. Are each of the parties mature enough to consent to the act, and have not been coerced into agreeing to the act? If so, then the age means very little so far as I'm concened.
 
Tigger said:
Are they? You're certain about that? I could provide with with several situations where it was not consentual on one or both parts which would not be pedophilic or rape....

That's why I believe it needs to be looked at on an individual basis. Are each of the parties mature enough to consent to the act, and have not been coerced into agreeing to the act? If so, then the age means very little so far as I'm concened.
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l cant know but l am trying to say it is not easy to accuse one of being pedophilie as you claim too
 
Medusa said:
l cant know but l am trying to say it is not easy to accuse one of being pedophilie as you claim too
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Part of the point I was trying to make is that it may not always be the "child" who cannot consent. For example:

I had a classmate named Tom who had an older brother (David) that was developmentally challenged. Tom was dating a young lady named Anne during our junior year in high school (age 17). Anne through that Tom had cheated on her with another girl. As a very close and long-term friend of Tom and David's family, Anne would sometimes stay with David when nobody else was home. One day, Anne "seduced" David, and took pictures of the act, in order to "avenge" Tom's supposed cheating. In this case it was the 21 year old MALE who was not capable of consent, not the 16 year old girl.

Pedophilia is a mental health issue. What you seem to be concerned about is more a matter of consent than age, as I believe it should be as well. Continuing to use the word pedophilia is going to at best confuse the issue, and at worst make people think you don't know what you're talking about.
 
ChrisL said:
Yes there is a difference, but how much? Most 16-year-olds are not mature enough to make such life-altering decisions. That is what it is based on. It would be EXTREMELY expensive and time consuming to figure out who is mature enough to consent and understand all that entails, so we look at the age group and how they generally represent themselves and make educated decisions.

Obviously YOU have ignored many of my posts. Again, I LIVED IT.
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Dear, you ain't the only one. They don't all end in disaster either.

It is insane to have the same penalty for consensual sex with a 16yo as for sexual molestation of a 10yo. Two wildly different circumstances.
 
Goshin said:
Dear, you ain't the only one. They don't all end in disaster either.

It is insane to have the same penalty for consensual sex with a 16yo as for sexual molestation of a 10yo. Two wildly different circumstances.
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I agree that the circumstances MAY be different in some situations. In other situations, not so much. It all depends. We take what is generally expected as a maturity level of teens, and we then apply that to what we think they are capable of understanding. Understanding doesn't just mean that someone understands that a penis is going into their vagina either. There are a whole HOST of issues, emotional, mental, etc., etc., etc.

The line is not an arbitrary one but one based on what is expected of one at a certain age. A responsible intimate sexual relationship is generally not expected from a 16-year-old. Also, a 16-year-old can be JUST as easily manipulated as a 10-year-old in MANY instances because they really haven't had the time or experience to know too much yet.

Now, I'm not going to disagree that the punishment may be harsh and seem unfair, but it is what it is. Adults who break the law can expect to pay some consequences. They are adults, and there is absolutely no reason whatsoever why they cannot say no and bypass that 16-year-old and move onto an 18-year-old who is of legal age.
 
ChrisL said:
Now, I'm not going to disagree that the punishment may be harsh and seem unfair, but it is what it is. Adults who break the law can expect to pay some consequences. They are adults, and there is absolutely no reason whatsoever why they cannot say no and bypass that 16-year-old and move onto an 18-year-old who is of legal age.
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Chris, why is it about age? Why is it about an arbitrary number and not some other criteria, like maturity? Is it just because it's easier to concretely determine the age and not the maturity level of people? If so, then what's the point of arguing about it, since the number is arbitrary to begin with?
 
Tigger said:
Chris, why is it about age? Why is it about an arbitrary number and not some other criteria, like maturity? Is it just because it's easier to concretely determine the age and not the maturity level of people? If so, then what's the point of arguing about it, since the number is arbitrary to begin with?
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Read my post above. It completely explains why the age determination factor is NOT arbitrary. It is what is generally expected from people in certain age groups and protection of children and teens from predatory adults. Nothing arbitrary about it.

What is arbitrary is when we have different ages, such as 21 for drinking, 16 for driving, 18 for fighting in a war. It should be the same age when you get your adult privileges. (not that fighting in a war is a "privilege" in all cases, but you get the gist).
 
ChrisL said:
I agree that the circumstances MAY be different in some situations. In other situations, not so much. It all depends. We take what is generally expected as a maturity level of teens, and we then apply that to what we think they are capable of understanding. Understanding doesn't just mean that someone understands that a penis is going into their vagina either. There are a whole HOST of issues, emotional, mental, etc., etc., etc.

The line is not an arbitrary one but one based on what is expected of one at a certain age. A responsible intimate sexual relationship is generally not expected from a 16-year-old. Also, a 16-year-old can be JUST as easily manipulated as a 10-year-old in MANY instances because they really haven't had the time or experience to know too much yet.

Now, I'm not going to disagree that the punishment may be harsh and seem unfair, but it is what it is. Adults who break the law can expect to pay some consequences. They are adults, and there is absolutely no reason whatsoever why they cannot say no and bypass that 16-year-old and move onto an 18-year-old who is of legal age.
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16 is the age of consent in my state.


And I'm sorry, but you just cannot equate the sexual molestation of a 10yo with someone having a consensual sexual relationship with a 16yo, it is comparing apples and nukes.
 
Tigger said:
Part of the point I was trying to make is that it may not always be the "child" who cannot consent. For example:

I had a classmate named Tom who had an older brother (David) that was developmentally challenged. Tom was dating a young lady named Anne during our junior year in high school (age 17). Anne through that Tom had cheated on her with another girl. As a very close and long-term friend of Tom and David's family, Anne would sometimes stay with David when nobody else was home. One day, Anne "seduced" David, and took pictures of the act, in order to "avenge" Tom's supposed cheating. In this case it was the 21 year old MALE who was not capable of consent, not the 16 year old girl.

Pedophilia is a mental health issue. What you seem to be concerned about is more a matter of consent than age, as I believe it should be as well. Continuing to use the word pedophilia is going to at best confuse the issue, and at worst make people think you don't know what you're talking about.
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l was not a child when l was 15

l think l am clear enough..
 
digsbe said:
I think 18 is too young, I think it should be increased to 21.
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You'll turn hundreds of thousands of people into convicted sex offenders that way.
 
ChrisL said:
I agree that the circumstances MAY be different in some situations. In other situations, not so much. It all depends. We take what is generally expected as a maturity level of teens, and we then apply that to what we think they are capable of understanding. Understanding doesn't just mean that someone understands that a penis is going into their vagina either. There are a whole HOST of issues, emotional, mental, etc., etc., etc.

The line is not an arbitrary one but one based on what is expected of one at a certain age. A responsible intimate sexual relationship is generally not expected from a 16-year-old. Also, a 16-year-old can be JUST as easily manipulated as a 10-year-old in MANY instances because they really haven't had the time or experience to know too much yet.

Now, I'm not going to disagree that the punishment may be harsh and seem unfair, but it is what it is. Adults who break the law can expect to pay some consequences. They are adults, and there is absolutely no reason whatsoever why they cannot say no and bypass that 16-year-old and move onto an 18-year-old who is of legal age.
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in my opinion you seem much more emotional about this issue............
 
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