Children can sense and they know when their parents don't get along and when their parents are unhappy. When the parents are unhappy, that, in turn, makes the children unhappy. Some marriages split for GOOD reasons, such as abuse, alcoholism, drug addiction, mental illness, etc. Other times, they split up because they are not compatible and have irreconcilable differences.
I think people should live together before they get married and have kids to test the waters. That would be the smart thing to do IMO.
Wait a second..."have kids to test the waters"?
Children can sense and they know when their parents don't get along and when their parents are unhappy. When the parents are unhappy, that, in turn, makes the children unhappy. Some marriages split for GOOD reasons, such as abuse, alcoholism, drug addiction, mental illness, etc. Other times, they split up because they are not compatible and have irreconcilable differences.
Lots of religious people thought they would burn in hell if they got a divorce. Then all of the sudden, the church got a new revelation. :roll: Yes, God himself spoke and said that people CAN get a divorce now I guess.
I agree, but people need to identify this unhappiness ASAP, especially before having kids.
No living together BEFORE having kids to test the waters.
Actual abuse where the offender lacks the ability or even the will to reform - I don't think you'll find many arguing that it's good for anyone to keep that habitat. That's why fairly conservative Christians such as myself volunteer (as I have done) at women's shelters. But the whole "oh we just don't get along - we are unhappy - we fight - we are incompatible - we have irreconcilable differences" schtick gets tossed around way to easily these days to accurately reflect reality. The focus on My Happiness and What Am I Getting Out Of This and How Am I Feeling is a destructive, self-centered approach that is the real death of these marriages, not the arguments.
Ahhh :doh
You have to admit that there is ambiguity in parsing that sentence :lamo
I think people should live together before they get married and have kids to test the waters. That would be the smart thing to do IMO.
Don't you think it would be a lot easier just to pop in to the justice of the peace and get married? Not like it takes a long time or costs much.That's true, and I'm aware of that. That's what I meant by fear. I don't see why we can't have common law marriage. You just prove that you've lived together for the required period of time.
Don't you think it would be a lot easier just to pop in to the justice of the peace and get married? Not like it takes a long time or costs much.
That's a load of bull. Some personality types just don't mix. Some people are destructive to one another BECAUSE they are together and shouldn't be.
You would think so, it makes a kind of intuitive sense. And yet, that's not what we see. Instead, numerous studies find that couples who live together have a higher rate of divorce than couples who don't cohabit before marrying. And prior to the divorce, these couples have lower rates of marital satisfaction.
On the contrary, "Just Don't Mix" is an excuse given for "it is tough". Although I wholly agree that there are lots of people who are destructive to each other. It is simply that the correct choice for that is to work on not being destructive to each other, but rather to choose to serve each other.
On the contrary, "Just Don't Mix" is an excuse given for "it is tough". Although I wholly agree that there are lots of people who are destructive to each other. It is simply that the correct choice for that is to work on not being destructive to each other, but rather to choose to serve each other.
Just interesting discussion. Illegitimate child. Poor lil' critter. Where'd we get THAT name?? Ha!
Interesting story. When I was born the Catholic church refused to baptize me because my parents weren't married when I was conceived, so my mother (who was brought up Catholic ALL the way) took me over to the Protestant church and had me baptized as Protestant. My parents DID get married before I was born though.
I'm fine with premarital casual sex and whatnot, but birth control should be used.
Do you know what the poverty rate in the US is for families that wait until marriage to have children and stay married? 2%.
The poverty rate for the general population is 13%, more than six times as high. Plus, children that grow up in single parent households are much more likely to end up involved in criminal activity.
I look down on people that have children outside of marriage. They are hurting their children, their families, themselves, and their country.
Also I'm an atheist so religion has nothing to do with why I believe this.
A priest will NOT refuse baptism for merely being conceived out of wedlock. A priest will refuse baptism if he has valid reason to believe that the child will not be raised as a Catholic. The fact that your parents then went to a Protestant church for the baptism indicates to me that the priests refusal was well founded.