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We need to get biblical on them and stone adulterers to death.
We need to get biblical on them and stone adulterers to death.
Yep. And those without sin can cast the first stone.
So...who again will cast the first stone, since everyone is a sinner?
I don't know TGND, apparently some people are PERFECT specimens of human beings and would NEVER make a mistake or have a lapse in judgment. LOL!
No it's not, Bod.
Do you think I'm a bad person? I'm immoral and unethical and a bad parent?
I'm not, am I? Even though I cheated on my ex boyfriend with my husband when we met - and my ex boyfriend was even stationed via military duty. (all sorts of evils- put me on ignore I might taint your mind with my wicked ways) Yet somehow I'm a good mother, a good student, and successful at anything I put my mind to. He's a good soldier-considerably so, and he's an incredible father - not only to his two biological children but my children from my previous marriage.
Our children are fabulous - doing well in school and even handling their father's health issues with a considerable amount of strength.
Your attempt to vilify anyone who's ever been unfaithful before is narrow minded, to say the least -- and anchored in your own personal issues, no one elses.
/ end discussion
There are exceptions, of course. Your boyfriend could have been beating you. If he was just stationed away and you got horny and slept with another man before ending your relationship with him?... well, I hate to say it but that makes you an untrustworthy person. Not all cheaters are scum but they are all untrustworthy. I never understood a person who would sleep with a cheater and then trust them not to turn around and cheat on them too. Very strange thinking...
It really has nothing to do with my personal issues either, to be honest... just looking at this objectively. My argument is not that a cheater can't be a good student or parent... but one that you can never entirely trust. Subconciously or not this also affects the children. If they know that their mom or dad cheated on their other parent and that that parent raising them thinks that it was OK, then that is a lesson that they cannot unlearn.
I think that's a good point 'if they know'
I tried to find stats on 'how many know' or 'find out' and couldn't come across anything substantial. . . and I don't support it becoming some sort of experiment or study, either. . . so I'm without anything solid to refer to.
Which just comes back around to how everyone responds and exactly what happened and how they deal with it.
I think it would be accurate to say: for some people divorce for any reasons is bad - very bad . . . and for others it can be a good situation (as is the case of a rocky marriage in which the parent are always fighting, etc)
Makes you a bad human being? And usually bad human beings are bad parents? Or it could be that you are weak to commitment... I can come up with MANY reasons.
No...you really can't. If you want to provide some evidence that cheating on your spouse is correlated with parenting practices that harm a child more than losing a parent does to them, then go right ahead. I'll listen. Until then, I'll just assume you are either incredibly naive about how common cheating is, or ridiculously judgmental.
Who said anything about losing a parent? Primary custody doesn't mean you never see the other parent again. I'm not naive on how common cheating is, i'm very well aware on how many crappy people there are out there. It shows lack of morals, lack of commitment, insecurity, you hurt others, you hurt yourself, you hurt your reputation, increases your chances of a heart attack, you cause extra un-needed stress in the kids, it's illegal, you put your kids in jeopardy for staying in a marriage you shouldn't be, etc, etc
Does cheating negatively impact on the kids? Yes
Does cheating mean the parent has no love for those kids? No
but, it does show you are irresponsible and don't realize how your actions impact your kids and your life.
You seem to have no idea how divorce works. One parent can have primary custody, but both parents still share responsibility in trading off the kids. It's up to the court to decide and weigh in ALL the factors. Cheating on the spouse IS a factor... much like everything else.Giving sole custody to one parent means they get to decide when and if the other parent sees the kids. Ex spouses aren't always interested in making that happen even though it's best for the kids. Even if they get visitation rights, they only get to see their kids, what? Several hours a month? This hurts the kids more than a parent cheating, and more than a divorce. After all, we're interested in doing what's best for the kids and not punishing one parent, right?
Did you just say that cheating is illegal?? You'll have to elaborate on that.
FYI, you are not using the word "impact" correctly.
You seem to have no idea how divorce works. One parent can have primary custody, but both parents still share responsibility in trading off the kids. It's up to the court to decide and weigh in ALL the factors. Cheating on the spouse IS a factor... much like everything else.
There is no one size fits all answer to this.
The best answer is "what is best for the kid's welfare?"
Should women be allowed custody of their children after they cheat on their husband, resulting in a divorce, where the husband demands full custody?
Should women be allowed custody of their children after they cheat on their husband, resulting in a divorce, where the husband demands full custody?
My first ex cheated on me and is still with the man she left me for. She got custody of the kids. I was paying almost $1300/month in child support for 2 kids. I finally got it reduced to $772/month (after 3 years of paying the higher amount). Why I am the one being punished for a decision she decided to make? Another stab in the back is seeing my 12 year old daughter posting videos of herself on the internet on a site where several grown men (perverts) have added her as a friend and probably masturbate to her videos.
Unfortunately nothing can be done about this. So I pay, but I get no say. I hope she doesn't end up like the girl who committed suicide, but it looks like she is heading down that road. And I can't do a thing about it.
By internalizing cheating I meant that the child is smart enough to see that one of the parents cheated, and when staying with the cheating parent, the child learns that cheating is okay or even a good thing. When something hurts you for a long time, it becomes a part of you and you become it, and then you will do the same thing as what hurt you initially. This is how people learn to do every bad thing, especially when a custody court orders them into that situation.
They can when you take things like this in to account;
Another Cause of Early Puberty in Girls: Absent Dads | TIME.com
Makes you a bad human being? And usually bad human beings are bad parents? Or it could be that you are weak to commitment... I can come up with MANY reasons.
How does your daughters address change your ability to be a strong father figure in her life?
It's illegal in a marriage contract...doing things illegal to the point where it hurts people, only a bad human being would do that.How is doing what nature tewlls you to do make you a bad human being. If you would have said a bad religious person, that would be more accurate but not a bad human being.