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For women: would you bear a child who was conceived from a rape?

For women: would you bear a child who was conceived from a rape?

  • Yes, I'd bear the child and raise it

    Votes: 4 23.5%

  • Yes, I'd bear the child and give it up for adoption

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • No, I would have an abortion

    Votes: 11 64.7%

  • No, I would seek out plan B, but if it didn't work I raise it

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • No, I would seek out plan B, but if it didn't work, I would give it up for adoption

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Undecided/don't know

    Votes: 2 11.8%
  • Total voters
    17
Green Balls

Green Balls

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This is a poll for women only. The comments regarding Richard Mourdock have me curious. Please men, try not to comment so we can have a pure women's perspective on this issue.
 
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Do you mean raise her own child if that child conceived by sexual assault of her?

The male version of that question is would you raise a child as your own if concieved by sexual assault of your wife/GF?
 
I voted I don't know because I don't see how anyone could know what they would do unless in that situation themselves. That is a really TOUGH question.
 
joko104 said:
The male version of that question is would you raise a child as your own if concieved by sexual assault of your wife/GF?
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I don't think that's even remotely comparable. And in my case, it's an absolute no-brainer-- if my woman gives me a child of course I'm going to raise it as my own, no matter how she got it. I'm certainly not going to add insult to injury by rejecting her offering at such a time.
 
I've droned on and on about this in this forum - so I don't need to rehash much. But unfortunately I have been molested and raped. Really - the only difference is age when it comes to applying the terms. It's all the same **** in the end. But when I think of this I think of two incidences that happened after my period started - because that carried the risk of actual pregnancy. The idea of carrying the child of my cousin - or old ****face hetch - is so disgusting it makes me sick to think of the possibilities - it could have happened so easily, too . . .just a few days earlier or later. *vomit* it just makes my skin crawl. Of course I'd abort - holy **** - without a doubt. Sorry - but there's no way anyone could convince me otherwise . . . If it's a matter of being moral vs immoral then I guess I'm just one hell of an immoral succubus from hell for not wanting to parent a child with my either of them.

My cousin and some old twisted pervert from my dad's church.

**** that - **** you if you think I should WANT to. You can . . . the nutty pro lifers can carry their Damned Daddy's babies all they want in some twisted family-triangle psycho **** circus all they damned well please.

Not me.

Oh no - no ****ing way.

All of my children were conceived and carried out of love. Sure - it didn't all go well (ok - it was hell) - but it was a hell I opted for and decided I wanted and love was only thing that go me through it it all.

Maybe if I was raped by more decent people who don't make me sick to my stomach to just remember I'd have a different view. But that's not the case - so I don't.
 
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Viktyr Gehrig said:
I don't think that's even remotely comparable. And in my case, it's an absolute no-brainer-- if my woman gives me a child of course I'm going to raise it as my own, no matter how she got it. I'm certainly not going to add insult to injury by rejecting her offering at such a time.
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You're a good man, Mr. Gehrig.
 
Aunt Spiker said:
I've droned on and on about this in this forum - so I don't need to rehash much. But unfortunately I have been molested and raped. Really - the only difference is age when it comes to applying the terms. It's all the same **** in the end. But when I think of this I think of two incidences that happened after my period started - because that carried the risk of actual pregnancy. The idea of carrying the child of my cousin - or old ****face hetch - is so disgusting it makes me sick to think of the possibilities - it could have happened so easily, too . . .just a few days earlier or later. *vomit* it just makes my skin crawl. Of course I'd abort - holy **** - without a doubt. Sorry - but there's no way anyone could convince me otherwise . . . If it's a matter of being moral vs immoral then I guess I'm just one hell of an immoral succubus from hell for not wanting to parent a child with my either of them.

My cousin and some old twisted pervert from my dad's church.

**** that - **** you if you think I should WANT to. You can . . . the nutty pro lifers can carry their Damned Daddy's babies all they want in some twisted family-triangle psycho **** circus all they damned well please.

Not me.

Oh no - no ****ing way.
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****ty situation to be in, really...and i'm sorry you had to endure such a thing once, let alone twice.

I think whatever decision the woman makes is ok with me... I can understand wanting to abort, and I can understand wanting to keep it.

i'm not sure why you feel the need to so badly insult folks who may handle the situation the opposite of how you may have..... that simply doesn't compute for me.
 
Aunt Spiker said:
I've droned on and on about this in this forum - so I don't need to rehash much. But unfortunately I have been molested and raped. Really - the only difference is age when it comes to applying the terms. It's all the same **** in the end. But when I think of this I think of two incidences that happened after my period started - because that carried the risk of actual pregnancy. The idea of carrying the child of my cousin - or old ****face hetch - is so disgusting it makes me sick to think of the possibilities - it could have happened so easily, too . . .just a few days earlier or later. *vomit* it just makes my skin crawl. Of course I'd abort - holy **** - without a doubt. Sorry - but there's no way anyone could convince me otherwise . . . If it's a matter of being moral vs immoral then I guess I'm just one hell of an immoral succubus from hell for not wanting to parent a child with my either of them.

My cousin and some old twisted pervert from my dad's church.

**** that - **** you if you think I should WANT to. You can . . . the nutty pro lifers can carry their Damned Daddy's babies all they want in some twisted family-triangle psycho **** circus all they damned well please.

Not me.

Oh no - no ****ing way.
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Thank you for opening up like that. As men and pro-lifers debate the morality in the abstract, all those platitudes reduce to nothing in the face of the actual reality.

I wrote extensively on this topic too prior and don't think I care to post it all over again really. Her emotions also were an extreme emotional firestorm to extremes and dramatically altered her life in many ways.
 
Thrilla said:
****ty situation to be in, really...and i'm sorry you had to endure such a thing once, let alone twice.

I think whatever decision the woman makes is ok with me... I can understand wanting to abort, and I can understand wanting to keep it.

i'm not sure why you feel the need to so badly insult folks who may handle the situation the opposite of how you may have..... that simply doesn't compute for me.
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joko104 said:
Thank you for opening up like that. As men and pro-lifers debate the morality in the abstract, all those platitudes reduce to nothing in the face of the actual reality.

I wrote extensively on this topic too prior and don't think I care to post it all over again really. Her emotions also were an extreme emotional firestorm to extremes and dramatically altered her life in many ways.
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I shouldn't - but I get overly emotional when I consider my experiences and that does come out in what I type - it's an ongoing problem, the only topic that gets me unhinged.

In all due fairness - I've met a mother who kept and raised her child from a rape and I thought she was awesome for it.

I do have a serious problem when it comes to choosing to keep a child if it's from *family* - that just crosses some lines that I cannot comprehend at all. Since that's my experience - that taints all of my views heavily, even now. I end up thinking through it this way every time it's discussed: "if I was pregnant with my cousin's child - *then* in order for me to keep it I would have had to literally be insane." . . . that's as close as I can get to being 'reasonable' on it when people ask for objectivity. I just don't have it.

And so I should probably just lay that out and just walk away from the thread because we all know how it'll go - some certain individuals will say the same things - I'll get my heckles up - infractions like party favors and banning.

In the past I was told I was 'favoring to punish the child for the wrongs of my cousin' (ok -stressing we're talking about a fictitious child in light of a real situation that occurred) and yep - I agree. . . those are my feelings. I loath his being so much much I think I'd probably try to kill him if I ever met him - and I wouldn't give two flying ****s about his stupid 'kid' if I was pregnant with it. I don't think it's a hatred I'll ever get over - not that I'm trying to, apparently.

Of course - as also discussed endlessly in this forum - pregnancy is hell for me so I imagine going through that - for my cousin . . . no, just doesn't compute as something I could ever tolerate. It would just rot me from the inside out. I honestly think the disgust and stress would just do me in in some bizarro psychosematic self damning or something.
 
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if I were a women, I would give the child up for adoption. As a Husband to the women who got raped I would want the baby up for adoption as well.
 
Yes, I would keep it and raise it. It was not the child's fault that a rape caused his existence, and a rape does not devalue a child which was a product of it.
 
My opinion will probably elicit emotional responses or piss people off, but I believe that a woman who aborts a child conceived through rape commits a worse atrocity than the rapist that violated her. The fetus is innocent throughout the process and as a human life it should not be killed unless the physical health of the mother is at stake. Two wrongs don't make a right and killing another human being that was conceived through an already terrible act only means that 2 human lives have been violated with one of them having been violated to the ultimate degree (death). Do I understand why a woman that disagrees with my views on human rights would want an abortion? Yes. However, that doesn't mean that I believe their decision is right or that the abortion is ethical.
 
There's a reason pro-choice people are pro-choice. It's the woman's right to choose to carry an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy to term, even in the event of rape or incest or to choose to terminate the pregnancy.

No woman should be forced to carry a pregnancy that she does not want any more than she should be forced to terminate a pregnancy that she wishes to carry to term, even if she plans to give the child up for adoption later. The key word with me is always choice.
 
I'm not going to vote in the poll because I don't know what my mental state would be after such a horrible event, but.... I would hope I would have the child and either keep him/her or give him up for adoption.
 
The reason I would give the child up for adoption instead... is because I don't think I would be able to be a strong parent in those circumstances, too much pain I do not want to risk passing on to the child.

Anyone saw The Watchmen ?

I find it as a good story showing that any child is a gift and children are always innocent. Sure it was just a graphic novel but it was very true. It gave the mother the one thing she truly loves above all things and that was her daughter.

I actually know a story that was perfectly similar to the Watchman story. My sister was raped at 18 and kept the child. And now she has a very similar view on her... who is now 18 herself!
 
Aunt Spiker said:
I shouldn't - but I get overly emotional when I consider my experiences and that does come out in what I type - it's an ongoing problem, the only topic that gets me unhinged.

In all due fairness - I've met a mother who kept and raised her child from a rape and I thought she was awesome for it.

I do have a serious problem when it comes to choosing to keep a child if it's from *family* - that just crosses some lines that I cannot comprehend at all. Since that's my experience - that taints all of my views heavily, even now. I end up thinking through it this way every time it's discussed: "if I was pregnant with my cousin's child - *then* in order for me to keep it I would have had to literally be insane." . . . that's as close as I can get to being 'reasonable' on it when people ask for objectivity. I just don't have it.

And so I should probably just lay that out and just walk away from the thread because we all know how it'll go - some certain individuals will say the same things - I'll get my heckles up - infractions like party favors and banning.

In the past I was told I was 'favoring to punish the child for the wrongs of my cousin' (ok -stressing we're talking about a fictitious child in light of a real situation that occurred) and yep - I agree. . . those are my feelings. I loath his being so much much I think I'd probably try to kill him if I ever met him - and I wouldn't give two flying ****s about his stupid 'kid' if I was pregnant with it. I don't think it's a hatred I'll ever get over - not that I'm trying to, apparently.

Of course - as also discussed endlessly in this forum - pregnancy is hell for me so I imagine going through that - for my cousin . . . no, just doesn't compute as something I could ever tolerate. It would just rot me from the inside out. I honestly think the disgust and stress would just do me in in some bizarro psychosematic self damning or something.
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everybody has those things that we get unhinged on...it's all good... i'm not trying to pull your chain or anything and you don't need to leave ( less'n you're uncomfortable about talking about it, which is understandable)
you being insulting to them struck me as odd, because..well.. i dunno.. i guess i assumed there would be a lot more empathy for them in the light of them having similar predicaments ( being sexually assaulted)... it is awesome you don't take that track with your the lady who kept the child ( which kinda tells me you were just venting here, which is also understandable)

I'm not shooting to piss you off here... just saying that it struck me as odd is all.

like I said, I can understand the positions of either keeping the kid, or aborting it...and i wouldn't be chiming into say my piece on the decision if faced with a woman who had to make it.
 
Josie said:
I'm not going to vote in the poll because I don't know what my mental state would be after such a horrible event, but.... I would hope I would have the child and either keep him/her or give him up for adoption.
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well, i know what kind of mental state i would be in if i was raped and got pregnant

I'd be insane... totally loopy.

i'd also be trying to figure out how a big old dude like me got pregnant..lol
 
Having a child under any circumstance is a life-altering, life-long commitment. Even a child given up for adoption will haunt the mother's memory for the rest of her life, and there is the very real possibility of that child tracking her down 20+ years later, having potentially devastating affects on the rest of her family at the time.

The decision to terminate a pregnancy or bring it to term is is not a decision any woman makes lightly.
 
Aunt Spiker said:
I shouldn't - but I get overly emotional when I consider my experiences and that does come out in what I type - it's an ongoing problem, the only topic that gets me unhinged.

In all due fairness - I've met a mother who kept and raised her child from a rape and I thought she was awesome for it.

I do have a serious problem when it comes to choosing to keep a child if it's from *family* - that just crosses some lines that I cannot comprehend at all. Since that's my experience - that taints all of my views heavily, even now. I end up thinking through it this way every time it's discussed: "if I was pregnant with my cousin's child - *then* in order for me to keep it I would have had to literally be insane." . . . that's as close as I can get to being 'reasonable' on it when people ask for objectivity. I just don't have it.

And so I should probably just lay that out and just walk away from the thread because we all know how it'll go - some certain individuals will say the same things - I'll get my heckles up - infractions like party favors and banning.

In the past I was told I was 'favoring to punish the child for the wrongs of my cousin' (ok -stressing we're talking about a fictitious child in light of a real situation that occurred) and yep - I agree. . . those are my feelings. I loath his being so much much I think I'd probably try to kill him if I ever met him - and I wouldn't give two flying ****s about his stupid 'kid' if I was pregnant with it. I don't think it's a hatred I'll ever get over - not that I'm trying to, apparently.

Of course - as also discussed endlessly in this forum - pregnancy is hell for me so I imagine going through that - for my cousin . . . no, just doesn't compute as something I could ever tolerate. It would just rot me from the inside out. I honestly think the disgust and stress would just do me in in some bizarro psychosematic self damning or something.
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I can feel the emotions in your messages and although a man I can have empathy. There some things about myself I don't post on the forum. The reality of such situations and the emotions of it vanish all the moral-religious-philosophical discussions, particularly by men.

What maybe more men can not grasp is the EXTREME lost of personal power a woman can feel after a sexual assault and multiply that by 1000X if she becomes pregnant and by 100,000X if people then start telling her what she MUST do. The woman can furiously and desperately want and need to retake as much control of her life as possible, can come to truly HATE anyone telling her what to do to extremes.

A woman in such a situation MAY sense the ZEF growing inside her is NOT her baby at all, but some violently invasion creature like the movie ALIEN that is just an ongoing and even more dispicable, intolerable ongoing sexual assault against her since this invasion is still within her genetia. In that context, the woman not only fully refuse to continue to pregnancy and would terminate it anyway possible - even suicide if the only way - but WANT to destroy the ZEF as her own way she can have any power to fight back against the ongoing sexual and violent assault against all trying to strip her self-power with the power of the rapist monster.

If a woman can not get past such emotions it is truly a totally unreal proposition to even pretend anyone can prevent that abortion. Even if she has the child, she likely would totally hate anyone who tried to pressure or demand she do so. A rape victim desperately wants to regain any power of over life as possible.

Does any of this sound familiar?
 
I cannot fathom a woman deciding to bring a child into the world who's genetic makeup is 50% hereditary from a rapist.
 
I have no idea. I don't know that I would be able to ascertain w/o DNA testing whether the baby was the product of the rapist's actions or normal relations with my boyfriend, so I'd have to assume I'd be no less likely to abort than I would be without the rape.

If I weren't in a relationship at the the time of the rape I'd probably be more likely to abort. Not necessarily because the baby's father is a rapist (and quite possibly dead as hell by the time the baby's born), though. The decision to abort isn't about one factor, and the rape itself wouldn't even weigh all that heavily. It would be more about whether or not I'm capable of parenting. I already know I'm not capable of giving a child of my own creation away; I'm not strong enough to handle it. I still grieve 15 years after my brother was given up for adoption, and I didn't even birth the kid.
 
A poll on the Internet isn't going to give you an honest answer. I'd say a woman would be stupid to go through it adoption or not. It's not a good thing no matter the decision. How you gonna tell the kid anything? "Yeah your dad and I met when he attacked me in the Kmart parking lot. The end. Now quit looking at me you have his horrible eyes that haunt my nightmares."
 
Yes, I would keep the baby and raise it. Having an abortion is never going to cure the fact i was raped. I would eventually learn to live with it as awful as it would be, but there's many hurdles people overcome to survive and live a productive life. I would suffer more mental anguish knowing that i had taken the life of my unborn child I just couldn't do it.
 
I'm uncertain. I've never been through that experience and I feel horribly for those who have.

Generally, I am against abortion and would encourage unwanted pregnant mothers to consider adoption (my son is adopted) and even though I am against abortion, I have never felt it was my place to dictate to others how to live their lives and do with their bodies.

Having said that, my heart tells me I would raise the child... but who knows, really? Having your personal security violated and the emotions and mental anguish that come from being violated in such a violent and personal way....I don't feel comfortable saying definitively what I'd do or what I would think anyone else would do.

What a horribly hard question.
 
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