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If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody[W:56]

If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody rights?

  • Total voters
    74
Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

Surtr said:
Rape is a life-changing traumatic event in a society such as ours. It's not healthy to want a child conceived through sexual assault, and those feelings will be projected onto the child by the mother, so two people end up being permanently damaged. One of them being a person who shouldn't exist in the first place.

EDIT: But I will say that if she wants it, nobody should have the power to take that away from her. However, for her own sake, and the child's, the fetus should be aborted.
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I don't know about projection being an absolute, but it is a probability and that I can agree to. I would say that any woman in that situation would have to come to the carry/not carry decision with not only a heavy heart but a lot of introspection.
 
Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

Dittohead not! said:
It's hard to believe even one state has such an absurd law, let along 31.
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radcen said:
No parental rights. That means no child support, either. Sorry, can't have it both ways. The exchange of money legitimizes the relationship. Pick one.
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It's a product of our society's obsessive preoccupation with biological parentage. The only man that should ever have custody and visitation rights to a child is the man that the mother offers the child to, and the only man that should ever be forced to pay child support is the man that has accepted the child. Anything else is an unconscionable violation of the moral prerogatives of free men and women to choose what is best for their families.

Surtr said:
So she can relive a sexual assault every time she looks into her childs eyes? That sounds more like a depraved act of self-torture. If she wants to keep it, fine with me, but I'd have to consider the woman to be both mentally and emotionally unstable.
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I was going to come down on you a little harder, but your later comment has tempered my wrath-- I will say that this is an incredibly judgmental and just plain nasty thing to say, and I think quite frankly that you should be at least a little ashamed of yourself for having said it.

Children are a blessing, and some people believe-- not without merit-- that salvaging a blessing from a tragedy is the highest expression of grace. I support the right of women to abort rape-babies, and mistake-babies, and even whoops-changed-my-mind babies... but being pro-choice also means respecting and affirming the decision to bear and keep those children.

Surtr said:
I don't see how any loving relationship can result from such a conception. The only justification I can see coming from it would be religious and ideological reasons concerning abortion, which I can not respect in such an instance.
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Sometimes, it's just a matter of taking the lemons life has handed you and making sweet lemonade. It's not like most rape victims knew their attackers well enough-- and intimately enough-- that everything their child does is going to remind them of that thing that happened that one time. And I obviously don't know this from experience, but seems to me that most women have a hard time hating someone they spent nine months carrying inside them.
 
Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

LaMidRighter said:
I had a work friend years ago that it happened to, she missed work for a week or so and was embarrassed. She only told me about it because she trusted me and it hurt me to hear what she was going through. It's a nasty thing.
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Some women are totally destroyed by it....I had a guy working for me...that came to me for advice..he had been lead investigator in a rape...no particulars but it was a vicious attack...the woman grabbed this cop...not sexually or anything like that she was over 20 yrs his junior..she was living in the city and had no one...no family here etc she was alone and scared to death...and he was asking me for permission to check on her night/day on duty or not....I told him...this conversation never happened and what I dont know doesnt hurt me...and I smiled at him...he knew what i was telling him..I couldnt give him an official ok...I was giving him a turned back...but that had its limits and he knew that...he had to stay in bounds....thats how deeply emotions can run even in cops for the victims of rape...the results are just pitiful and hurtful to see some times...even hardened prostitutes that are victims of violent rape more often than other groupings of women are totally broken down....its a vicious disgusting crime that ruins lives...
 
Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

lpast said:
Some women are totally destroyed by it....I had a guy working for me...that came to me for advice..he had been lead investigator in a rape...no particulars but it was a vicious attack...the woman grabbed this cop...not sexually or anything like that she was over 20 yrs his junior..she was living in the city and had no one...no family here etc she was alone and scared to death...and he was asking me for permission to check on her night/day on duty or not....I told him...this conversation never happened and what I dont know doesnt hurt me...and I smiled at him...he knew what i was telling him..I couldnt give him an official ok...I was giving him a turned back...but that had its limits and he knew that...he had to stay in bounds....thats how deeply emotions can run even in cops for the victims of rape...the results are just pitiful and hurtful to see some times...even hardened prostitutes that are victims of violent rape more often than other groupings of women are totally broken down....its a vicious disgusting crime that ruins lives...
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I truly feel for police who have to deal with that, I only know of one rape and that was BAD. I can't imagine having to hear that more than once.
 
Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

Viktyr Korimir said:
Sometimes, it's just a matter of taking the lemons life has handed you and making sweet lemonade. It's not like most rape victims knew their attackers well enough-- and intimately enough-- that everything their child does is going to remind them of that thing that happened that one time. And I obviously don't know this from experience, but seems to me that most women have a hard time hating someone they spent nine months carrying inside them.
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I would hardly call the result of a very cruel assault a "lemon".
 
Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

Sometimes, it's just a matter of taking the lemons life has handed you and making sweet lemonade. It's not like most rape victims knew their attackers well enough-- and intimately enough-- that everything their child does is going to remind them of that thing that happened that one time. And I obviously don't know this from experience, but seems to me that most women have a hard time hating someone they spent nine months carrying inside them.

I agree vik that the mothers wont hate thier babies...but they will always remember how the baby was concieved and lets not forget that one day they may have to sit down and tell their child who their father was...they will certainly be asked eventually..
 
Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

lpast said:
I agree vik that the mothers wont hate thier babies...but they will always remember how the baby was concieved and lets not forget that one day they may have to sit down and tell their child who their father was...they will certainly be asked eventually..
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And you reckon the pain of having to learn that fact is so intense that it's better not to have lived at all?

That's one painful, awkward conversation weighed against a whole lifetime.

I'm not saying it's wrong for rape victims to abort. I'm only saying that there's nothing wrong with them choosing not to and that it is ridiculous and hurtful to say that there is.
 
Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

Viktyr Korimir said:
And you reckon the pain of having to learn that fact is so intense that it's better not to have lived at all?

That's one painful, awkward conversation weighed against a whole lifetime.

I'm not saying it's wrong for rape victims to abort. I'm only saying that there's nothing wrong with them choosing not to and that it is ridiculous and hurtful to say that there is.
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Wait we have some confusion here...I wasnt saying a woman should abort just because she is raped...thats her decision to make..I was speaking in general that once a woman decides to have the child she cant forget how it was concieved, how could she ? and that eventually she may have to confront it and explain that to the child....I wasnt thinking abortion in my post viktyr
 
Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

So many of our laws need to be updated. I'm sure this must be like a loophole, only because the "rapist" is considered the child's legal father, but somebody needs to fix that mistake. Could you imagine having to let your child go with the person who raped you? OMG, I would probably end up being arrested.
 
Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

I would like to point out that just because someone gets convicted of a crime that does not necessarily mean that they really committed a crime.

After all, there are cases in which people accuse someone of rape who didn't actually do it, such as the Duke University lacrosse team case.

Duke lacrosse case - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Or the case of Brian Banks, a high school football player who was an NFL hopeful who spent 5 years in jail because a young woman filed false charges of sexual assault against him.

Ex-football player, wrongly jailed for rape, wants money from state - latimes.com

So whenever we talk about crimes and the penalties for being convicted of one, we always have to keep in mind that maybe someone charged with the crime didn't actually do it.
 
ThePlayDrive said:
I just found out the following:


Now, I am thoroughly disgusted. I am disgusted because I don't think a woman should not be forced to interact with her rapist for the rest of her life. Moreover, I don't think a child should be, even partially, raised by someone so disgusting and who has an inherently toxic relationship with them and their mother.

Do you agree or disagree?
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Death penalty for rape ftw :2wave:
 
I don't think someone should get the DP for rape. I DO think their sentences should be much longer than they are though. Did you know that people serve more time for drug convictions than for rape and pedophilia? Our justice system is screwy.

Edit: Sometimes, that is, unless you're a rich and famous celebrity. :roll:
 
ThePlayDrive said:
I just found out the following:


Now, I am thoroughly disgusted. I am disgusted because I don't think a woman should not be forced to interact with her rapist for the rest of her life. Moreover, I don't think a child should be, even partially, raised by someone so disgusting and who has an inherently toxic relationship with them and their mother.

Do you agree or disagree?
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Surely, the mother can argue that the father is unfit for visitation rights. But the idea of allowing the rapist to use the parental rights as a bargain for the women to drop legal charges for the rape is just astounding.
 
Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

samsmart said:
I would like to point out that just because someone gets convicted of a crime that does not necessarily mean that they really committed a crime.

After all, there are cases in which people accuse someone of rape who didn't actually do it, such as the Duke University lacrosse team case.

Duke lacrosse case - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Or the case of Brian Banks, a high school football player who was an NFL hopeful who spent 5 years in jail because a young woman filed false charges of sexual assault against him.

Ex-football player, wrongly jailed for rape, wants money from state - latimes.com

So whenever we talk about crimes and the penalties for being convicted of one, we always have to keep in mind that maybe someone charged with the crime didn't actually do it.
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Which is besides the point. If that someone didn't commit the crime, then the punishment should not be lower but none, therefore in considering the punishment, we ought to consider what is fitting for the crime, not for the those who are wrongly convicted.
 
Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

Who chose yes?
 
Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

Connery said:
I would file against the rapist asking for a permanent restrained order citing a "Best Interests of the Child" augment showing that the rapist father would cause sever and irreparable harm against the child. If that did not work I would take the child and move.
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And be charged with kidnapping? So now she's the criminal, that's a good place to argue "best interest of the child".
 
Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

nonpareil said:
And be charged with kidnapping? So now she's the criminal, that's a good place to argue "best interest of the child".
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What other choice would she (the victim) have? The government already mandated that she has to share her time with the depraved monster that brutally sodomized and raped her due to some twisted political ideology. Some parts of this country won't even allow her to destroy the product of the brutal and vicious attack, because it's against the personal misogynistic ideologies of some twisted assholes who live in fantasy land.
 
Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

nonpareil said:
And be charged with kidnapping? So now she's the criminal, that's a good place to argue "best interest of the child".
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Kindly define kidnapping for me.
 
Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

Connery said:
Kindly define kidnapping for me.
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Here they are:

What Constitutes Parental Kidnapping? - Attorneys.com

Parental kidnapping or parental abduction is defined as the concealment, taking, or retention of a child by his parent in violation of the rights of the child's other parent or another family member. Violated rights may include, for example, custody and visitation rights. Sadly, thousands of children are abducted by a parent and removed from the United States annually. Even more children are kidnapped by a parent within the confines of U.S. borders. Parental kidnapping also happens when a child is abducted from a custodial parent abroad and transported into the United States by the non-custodial parent illegally.
More Than Just a Custody Dispute

Make no mistake – parental kidnapping is illegal. Parental kidnapping is far more than a dispute regarding custody matters between divorcing parents. Such matters are relegated to the civil courts; however, parental kidnapping is a criminal act. In fact, parental kidnapping violates the laws of all U.S. states, the District of Columbia, and the Virgin Islands, plus U.S. federal laws and international laws. It is dangerous and can be deadly.

Parentally-abducted children live a life on the run as if fugitives. It is not uncommon to see a child receive a new name, nickname, haircut, dyed hair, glasses, or otherwise altered appearance. Children may be coached not to reveal their true names, birth dates, home states and addresses, and other identifying information. They may move often to avoid detection and recovery. School performance and social relationships suffer materially (that is, if the child is permitted to attend school). Even medical treatment may suffer because of requirements for identifying information involved in the registration for care and insurance claims processing.


Parental Kidnapping Law & Legal Definition

In the absence of a court order determining rights of custody or visitation to a child, a person having a right of custody of the child commits the crime of parental kidnapping if he removes, takes, detains, conceals, or entices away that child within or without the state, without good cause, and with the intent to deprive the custody right of another person or a public agency also having a custody right to that child. The following a a federal law governing parental kidnapping:
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Seriously, Google people.
 
Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

Surtr said:
What other choice would she (the victim) have? The government already mandated that she has to share her time with the depraved monster that brutally sodomized and raped her due to some twisted political ideology. Some parts of this country won't even allow her to destroy the product of the brutal and vicious attack, because it's against the personal misogynistic ideologies of some twisted assholes who live in fantasy land.
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Stay and fight. Deal if she has too. Fight to change the law later so others will have a better chance. Running and living in fear is not a good environment for children to grow up either.
 
Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

nonpareil said:
Here they are:
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Since I am ready lay my life down for my son, I would have no problem with "kidnapping" the child in order to keep him safe from a the predatory, sick bastard who committed the rape which carries a level of physical and emotional violence that is rarely comparable to other types crimes in my view.






Seriously, Google people
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That is what we have you for.....:lol:
 
Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

Do the rights of a criminal supercede those of the innocent ?
Is a man , after having committed the crime, a permanent criminal ?
These are toughies, a panel of victims should decide ??
What would Jesus do or say ?
 
Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

earthworm said:
Do the rights of a criminal supercede those of the innocent ?
Is a man , after having committed the crime, a permanent criminal ?
These are toughies, a panel of victims should decide ??
What would Jesus do or say ?
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Who the heck knows? I hate it when people say that. "What would Jesus do?" I don't know and neither do you. Although I think it's safe to say that he wouldn't want children being in the company of the rapists of their mothers. And YES, the rights of the victim in this situation DEFINITELY supercede those of the attacker.
 
Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

nonpareil said:
Here they are:

Seriously, Google people.
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Hey I know that crime, it's what I'll be charging my X with after the divorce :peace
 
If Jesus has something to say then he can come here and say it himself.
 
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