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How Do You React To Anger?

How do you react to anger?


  • Total voters
    22

TheLastIndependent

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Im asking this out of curiosity. When I get mad, I generally mutter something under my breath and get over it. But sometimes, I become overwhelmed with anger. At that point I have to punch something, human or not. I currently have a broken bone, or at least that's what it feels like, in my hand from punching a concrete wall. But how do you react?
 
I don't get angry very often at all.. once every few years or so... and if i'm left alone, all is well.. i'll get over it pretty quickly... 5 minutes tops

if a dude makes me angry, and won't leave me be... chances are that there will be blood..
if a woman makes me angry,and won't leave me be, there will be harsh words..
if a kid makes me angry, .... nothing... I don't get angry at kids... never have.
 
I don't get angry very often at all.. once every few years or so... and if i'm left alone, all is well.. i'll get over it pretty quickly... 5 minutes tops

if a dude makes me angry, and won't leave me be... chances are that there will be blood..
if a woman makes me angry,and won't leave me be, there will be harsh words..
if a kid makes me angry, .... nothing... I don't get angry at kids... never have.

That's the way I usually am. I have just had random bouts of anger lately. It actually isn't anger... It is deep frustration. Either way, I let it out and my knuckle does not like me for it
 
I rarely get angry, and when I do I am not the sort of person to act out. I despise yelling, and violence.

A couple times in my life, I have been pushed hard enough to really yell. But I have to be pushed really, really hard.

I voted "take a walk," which I do. After I do that, I might go home and write what I'd like to say, then once I've gotten that out of my system I think about the real conversation I'd have with that person, which is usually several notches more placid than what I wrote.
 
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I rarely get angry, and when I do I am not the sort of person to act out. I despise yelling, and violence.

A couple times in my life, I have been pushed hard enough to really yell. But I have to be pushed really, really hard.

I voted "take a walk." After I do that, I might go home and write what I'd like to say, then once I've gotten that out of my system I think about the real conversation I'd have with that person, which is usually several notches more placid than what I wrote.

commendable..... my and my police record wish I was more like this :lol:
 
To my detriment I raise my voice (as I call it) or as other call it-- yell when I get angry. That is when it is personal, when I have an established relationship with the person I am "raising my voice" at. I have also been known to throw things, not at people but at the floor, the wall, etc...

When it is someone I don't know I pretty much just stew for a while, grind my teeth and bulge my eyes. It is usually obvious that I am irked. I tend to show my emotions-- which can be good and bad.
 
I rarely get angry. Then again I don't have a boss so it is rare someone pisses me off. Do know this as a fact, punching concrete is dumb. So would be trying to stop a bus with your face, and you really shouldn't need a practical exercise to figure that out. Anger vented in a unproductive direction isn't smart. If someone gets in my face to make me mad and thinks it is ok the fight is on. Most of the time I can explain the problem and all is cool, a drunk on the other hand is someone best chin checked quickly.

One thing I have noticed is online folks get super hot over stupid crap and without the chin check option tend to wear good folks out. That basement place is a great example of where the inability to reach out and touch someone just has the train wreck go on and on.

But hey everyone is ten feet tall and bulletproof online... :cool:
 
Im asking this out of curiosity. When I get mad, I generally mutter something under my breath and get over it. But sometimes, I become overwhelmed with anger. At that point I have to punch something, human or not. I currently have a broken bone, or at least that's what it feels like, in my hand from punching a concrete wall. But how do you react?

Depends on what, and who pissed me off, really.

Friends pissing me off: I don't really get mad, just irritated, and I tell them to stop. They usually don't, but jokes are made, and problem regularly diffuses itself

Some random guy pisses me off: I respond with equal douchebaggery.

random woman pisses me off:
Bitch, please.jpg

"come home early from work": I used to get mad, but now it's like "sweet, now I don't have to put up with your bull**** anymore".

Kids piss me off: I walk away, and smoke a cigarette.

Douchebag cuts me off in traffic: Explosive rage which rivals that of the Nordic gods of old.
 
Become pissy all day(s), weeks?

the moment is broken, it's all bad from then on .... until it passes away
 
When i get angry I take some time to myself to see what is going on. I may be hungry, angry, tired or on edge. I look to the facts and what the perceived offense may be. If I feel I have a bone fide grievance I speak directly to the person and try to resolve the situation. If it is a close relationship I look to forgive and move on.


If someone comes to me as an angry person, I listen to the person and evaluate the situation. Depending upon the facts, the person and the relationship I will give it the attention that it deserves. I do not automatically try to "fix" whatever is bothering the individual. Sometimes when someone is angry they simply want to "let off some stem", need someone to listen and do not want solutions. Indeed, to try and "fix" an already tempestuous situation could just upset the person even more. Sometimes the anger is misdirected and I just happen to be the closest person, both emotionally and logistically, and I take a moment to truly listen to what is going on.

Should the anger be directly related to something I have done I apologize and make amends to the person by looking at what the issues and facts were to cause such anger. Nobody is perfect least of all me...:)
 
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I listen to the person and evaluate the situation. Depending upon the facts, the person and the relationship I will give it the attention that it deserves. I do not automatically try to "fix" whatever is bothering the individual. Sometimes when someone is angry they simply want to "let off some stem", need someone to listen and do not want solutions. Indeed, to try and "fix" an already tempestuous situation could just upset the person even more. Sometimes the anger is misdirected and I just happen to be the closest person, both emotionally and logistically, and I take a moment to truly listen to what is going on.

Should the anger be directly related to something I have done I apologize and make amends to the person by looking at what the issues and facts were to cause such anger. Nobody is perfect least of all me...:)

Generally, I will simply walk away, and avoid escalation. This however, is very situational.

With my wife, I know that by walking away from her, I am insulting her opinion and so must simply take it.

With aggressive males there is only a small window to walk away, and if missed there is often violence.

With a friend or stranger, I will simply walk and decide if they are worth my continued time and effort.

With Children it is much the same, though obvious family dynamics come into play.


As a general rule, I prefer avoiding unpleasant drama and violence.
 
Im asking this out of curiosity. When I get mad, I generally mutter something under my breath and get over it. But sometimes, I become overwhelmed with anger. At that point I have to punch something, human or not. I currently have a broken bone, or at least that's what it feels like, in my hand from punching a concrete wall. But how do you react?

As a mathematician, I am always thinking about how to minimize negative effects and maximize positive effects before taking any action. In this case, I look at it as the perfect time to go hit the weight room. Anger and lifting weights are complementary to one another. If you're angry then you will feel like pushing yourself harder. In the other direction, it will often help cool down your temper as you tire yourself out.

My advice reminds me of the movie Dodgeball:

"You've got to get angry! You've got to get mean! That's the only way you can play!"
 
I yell, scream, throw ****, break stuff, and then tend to just go off and fume for a while. It will generally affect me for the rest of the day, or at least several hours before I fully get over it. At that point it's generally best to just leave me alone because while I go out of my way to avoid taking my frustration out on people, once you stick your nose into my problem, you're liable to pull back a stump at the neck.
 
As some one once said, Don't get mad, get even. That is usually what i do if i get angry about something. And always remember, revenge is a dish best served cold.

In most cases, i am not the one that gets angry, I'm usually the carrier. ;)

.
 
I have anger problems and went to anger management about it so it really depends. Since getting older and my daughter being born if I get really angry it involves me going into a room. But I've done everything on that list at least twice.
 
I breathe in, steeple my fingers (if I can), readjust to the new reality, and let it wash over and out of me. Then I'm calm, and I get over it. If it's bad enough I am unable to do this, I talk it out to myself repetitively under my breath like a mantra until I'm a bit emotionally wrung out and over it.


I used to deal with pretty severe anger issues - It wasn't terribly pretty. My wife and children deserve better than a Father and Husband who responds that way. To beat that, I've developed a pretty good tolerance :).
 
I've threatened a guy with a sharp object pressed to his face while holding his neck with my hand. That landed me in jail for a day until I finally got bailed out. In this case, as bad as this sounds thank God thats the first time I ever got in trouble and he was a guy that got in trouble numerous times.
 
As I was growing up, I quickly learned that expressed anger would leave me with physical and emotional scars. Old habits die hard, so although I rarely get truly, truly angry, when I do I automatically stop talking and go someplace where I can be by myself until I stop shaking with rage. When I'm angry or extremely sad, I get very quiet.

Only once was I ever provoked to the point that, when I was prevented from leaving I actually threw a coffee mug at someone. He promptly beat the crap out of me, which reinforced that suppressing rage, no matter how much effort it took, was the better course of action.
 
It really depends on what you're talking about. If someone cuts me off at a light, I blow it off quickly, it wasn't personal, who cares? If someone does something intentionally to make me angry, that's a different story. I don't deal in revenge, usually I just ignore it unless they're a real douche, at which point, depending on relative positions, I can make their lives suck, but usually I won't.

I used to get really upset. Now, what difference does it make?
 
i don't often get angry these days. when i do, i generally internalize it and try to work it off later. it biodegrades eventually given enough time.
 
Im asking this out of curiosity. When I get mad, I generally mutter something under my breath and get over it. But sometimes, I become overwhelmed with anger. At that point I have to punch something, human or not. I currently have a broken bone, or at least that's what it feels like, in my hand from punching a concrete wall. But how do you react?


I spent many years... decades actually... struggling with a hot temper and a tendency to violence.

My earliest success in controlling my temper and desire to hurt those who offended me was in martial arts training. I had an outlet for my aggressions, as well as training that focused on self-control. I learned breathing and meditation techniques to keep my emotions in check.

Then there was the years I spent as a cop, when I spent a lot of time interacting with scummy people and having to maintain my professionalism regardless of what verbal abuse I was given or how stressful the situation was.

The problem with both was that the anger was still there, and the desire to do violence to those who caused it was still strong, just kept on a leash.

It is only in relatively recent years that I've really made a fundamental change in how I handle anger, and the secret is that I don't get angry very often anymore and when I do I am able to actually let it go and truly calm down much more rapidly. This came about through a lifetime's experiences in what might be called "the human condition", and a newfound compassion and sympathy for my fellow man.

After all, we all do things that anger others sometimes. Often we do so in ignorance or by accident; sometimes we do so out of thoughtlessness or distraction. Sometimes we have no choice, such as if you're a manager and you are obligated to have words with a subordinate over something they did. Sometimes we're angry or upset and we "share the heat" with whoever annoys us, whether they did so on purpose or not. We're all human, and I'm just as fallible as anyone. The guy who pisses you off so bad you want to smash his face may not be an a-hole all the time.... maybe he's just having a bad day, maybe there was some misunderstanding, maybe he's stressed out and he'll regret his behavior later.


Even if this is not so, there's nothing to be gained really by breaking his nose just for simple asshattery, and much to lose. Nor is there anything to gain by letting him ruin your day with long-term anger... in fact some a-holes love nothing more than to think they've ruined your day, that you will be upset all day over their behavior.... so why let them win?

Life is so much better when you just let things go and don't hold a grudge. When you let anger rule you, you miss out many opportunities to take joy in the moment, to fully appreciate some good thing that you have right in front of you, because you're still mentally obsessing over some slight that happened hours ago, or yesterday, or last week.

I've been a lot happier and more content (not to mention better company) when I adopted this point of view.

Now when it is something big, some real and serious harm, that is a much more difficult matter... but if you recognize that getting angry does not benefit you in any way, that it does not help you in your quest to seek suitable redress for the harm done to you, that indeed it serves little benefit even in self-defense, it is easier to let it go and decide what to do (if anything) about the matter using logic and reason.

I remain human of course and from time to time I still have trouble setting my anger aside.... but I'm much better at it than I ever was before.
 
Generally I do a lot of yelling and swearing when I'm pissed off. It passes quickly though.
 
Either forgive, or don't forget ~ Tupac.
 
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