Correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem to think that Civil War was entirely about slavery, or that the average Southern soldier was fighting FOR slavery.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Slavery was ONE issue, and yes ONE causal factor, but it was far from being the only one. It is highly arguable if it was even a primary cause, except in the sense that it affected the economy of the South and drove some of the resistance to Federal taxes/tariffs/trade restrictions that were actually key causes of the war.
The average Southern soldier was far too poor to own any slaves. Slaves were expensive. If anything, poor Southerners should have resented the institution as it gave the rich a labor pool they didn't have to pay (just feed and house), which probably undercut wages for free labor. Historically, the average Southern soldier was fighting for his State, and for State's Rights vs the central government. To Billy Bob Infantryman, slavery was a side issue, if an issue at all.
The Southern army was outnumbered 4 to 1, had not one single cannon factory compared to the North which had many, possessed no Navy to speak of, and was generally very much the underdog. Yet they won most early campaigns thanks to the strategic and tactical skills of their Generals, and to the shooting skills and ability to endure hardship that Southern soldiers possessed in abundance. These are things that Southerners take pride in... while at the same time acknowleging that our ancestors were wrong to practice slavery, and that the societal and economic weakness that a slave-economy creates was one of the primary reasons the South lost the war.
I think you'll find that looking at the big picture, instead of just one single issue, changes the perspective considerably.