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Is having sex with a passed out girl rape?

Is This Rape

  • Yes

    Votes: 61 95.3%

  • No

    Votes: 3 4.7%
  • Total voters
    64
Simon W. Moon said:
Why not? Living wills stand.
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How would you even define prior consent?

That seems a little murky... She's my wife, so I can't rape her? Would this extend beyond death like living wills, necrophilia anybody?

Both people have to be conscious to consent... there are stds and prevention concerns, i phones, the risk of that person inviting other individuals to have sex with you, etc. If you make a video of yourself engaging in sex with somebody how is not conscious, that looks like rape and that is rape. For all the law enforcement knows, you drugged them.
 
SheWolf said:
How would you even define prior consent?
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Other than consent given prior to the act?
IDK.
Idk what form it would take either. Not a thing I have given much thought to. But it certainly seems capable of existing.

I gave prior consent to have some guy take a knife to me when I was rendered unconscious. No one seemed to bat an eye. Why couldn't I give permission for someone to play with my weiner after I drink too much?

SheWolf said:
Would this extend beyond death like living wills, necrophilia anybody?
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I am pretty sure that any contract that involves breaking the law, like necrophilia, is un-enforceable and null.
 
Khayembii Communique said:
I'm planning on breaking it off tonight, but offering her support in the case that she does need help either psychologically or in pursuing charges. I'm going to recommend her a therapist as well.

I wasn't able to sleep at all tonight and I've been feeling like throwing up all day. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone I know and she doesn't even really seem to care. It's messed up.
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Tell her youre planning on moving back home because of finances and that you can barely pay for your cell bill. THEN.... get a new number and cut the old number. If she sees you..... you didnt have the coin for your cell. Then leave the State! Youre welcome :2wave:
 
Gina said:
Whoa! The act is rape. She was unconscious and unable to give consent. How she feels about it after the fact is a different matter.
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If it's no big deal, it's no big deal. There's a big difference between feeling violated but being too ashamed to speak up, and not feeling violated at all. If she says it's just "drunken sex" and doesn't have a problem with it, then she sure as Hell doesn't need everyone telling her that she's a rape victim, dammit, and needs to start acting like one. That is hers to decide; if you don't respect her authority to do so, then you are not respecting her authority to make her own sexual decisions for herself. Maybe she likes it, and that's what she's trying to tell KC. Maybe she just really doesn't care.

That's her right, and I don't think it says anything bad about her as a person.

Temporal said:
Unless she has specifically said in advance that you can have sex with her while she is unconscious, then you don't have consent. Doesn't matter if you've had sex with her dozens of times before.
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Rules to live by, to be certain. But if she says it's okay afterwards, you're not a rapist-- you just took a hell of a risk of becoming one. I definitely wouldn't want to have anything to do with this asshole, because he took advantage when he didn't know, but that's on him. Only a matter of time until he does it to someone who does mind, and doubtless he's done so many times in the past. He's scum.

She just has a drinking problem.

Temporal said:
Also... how boring would it be to have sex with an unconscious person.
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Well, on a scale of one to ten, with one being Saturday night alone time and ten being the most awe-inspiring feats of carnal prowess known to man or god alike, it's still a two.

Khayembii Communique said:
How am I being judgmental and critical? What are you talking about?
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Khayembii Communique said:
I'm not breaking it off because she was raped. I'm breaking it off because she has no self respect, because she thinks that she deserved it and/or doesn't even care that it happened. I'm not criticizing her for that, I'm offering to help her seek treatment and am fully supportive, but I'm not going to be in a relationship with a girl like that.
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That. That is how you are being judgmental and critical. You know her better than we do, so I'm not going to claim that her self-respect is just fine, but it could be. You are basing this entire assessment of her character on your interpretation of how she should have reacted to something that happened to her. You go on ahead and do what you think is best for you, but it looks like you're being more than a little unfair to her here and you really should stop telling yourself that it's for her own good.
 
Viktyr said:
That. That is how you are being judgmental and critical. You know her better than we do, so I'm not going to claim that her self-respect is just fine, but it could be. You are basing this entire assessment of her character on your interpretation of how she should have reacted to something that happened to her. You go on ahead and do what you think is best for you, but it looks like you're being more than a little unfair to her here and you really should stop telling yourself that it's for her own good.
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My assessment of her self-worth is based on my entire time knowing her, not just this incident. I knew she had low self-respect before, but this event just proves it's way worse than I thought it was. I'm not criticizing her for that; I'd like to see her learn to respect herself. She's a great person and deserves it. But at the same time I have to respect myself by not entering into an unhealthy relationship with a girl that isn't ready for one.

So how am I being unfair?
 
If you're basing your assessment off of actually knowing her, then you're not being unfair. I conceded to the possibility that such was the case, but based on the information you had provided up to that point, it did appear that you were hinging the whole thing on that one incident. I still think your interpretation of her emotional state is terribly insulting, but if you think she needs help that badly then you do what you have to do. All I'm saying is that what you're suggesting might not be what she needs, and that you should at least consider that possibility before you do anything.
 
Simon W. Moon said:
Why not? Living wills stand.
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To prove rape, as with most other crimes, the prosecution needs to establish that the defendant possessed a certain mental state. For instance, if I deliberately fire a gun at a person for the purpose of killing that person, I've committed murder. If, on the other hand, I'm holding a gun, slip on a banana peel, and the gun goes off, accidentally killing a person standing nearby, I haven't committed murder, and depending on the circumstances, may not even be charged with manslaughter.

Similarly, proof of rape requires that the defendant intend to have sex with the victim, and not believe that the victim has consented. Prior consent gets tricky. It would have to be a prior statement by the victim that she intends to consent to sex at a specific time, not just that she seemed like she may potentially have consented to sex at some vague unknown future time. So yeah, prior consent might work, but it'd have to be awfully precise. Additionally, unless the woman said something like, "please have sex with me once I've passed out," any reasonably competent prosecutor would probably argue (successfully) that whatever consent had been given ended when the woman ceased to be conscious.
 
Viktyr Korimir said:
Rules to live by, to be certain. But if she says it's okay afterwards, you're not a rapist-- you just took a hell of a risk of becoming one.
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Actually, no. If you don't reasonably believe she's consented at the time you have sex with the girl, you are, legally speaking, a rapist. This would almost certainly be true in any state in the US. It is immaterial whether the victim later says the sex was okay (although obviously that would impact whether or not charges are brought).
 
Khayembii Communique said:
Girl meets guy for the first time. Girl gets drunk and passes out. Guy has sex with her. Girl plays it off and doesn't care.

Is this rape?
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I haven't read the rest of the thread, but it's definitely rape.

Rape is having sex with someone who cannot give consent. Because the woman is pased out, she is incapable of giving consent. Therefore sex with her is rape.
 
Khayembii Communique said:
Question 2: You've been seeing this girl (not exclusively) for about a month. She nonchalantly tells you about it but doesn't think it's a big deal and likens it to drunk sex. What do you do?
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A: Ask her if she want's a drink ?
 
Viktyr Korimir said:
If it's no big deal, it's no big deal. There's a big difference between feeling violated but being too ashamed to speak up, and not feeling violated at all. If she says it's just "drunken sex" and doesn't have a problem with it, then she sure as Hell doesn't need everyone telling her that she's a rape victim, dammit, and needs to start acting like one. That is hers to decide; if you don't respect her authority to do so, then you are not respecting her authority to make her own sexual decisions for herself. Maybe she likes it, and that's what she's trying to tell KC. Maybe she just really doesn't care.

That's her right, and I don't think it says anything bad about her as a person.



Rules to live by, to be certain. But if she says it's okay afterwards, you're not a rapist-- you just took a hell of a risk of becoming one. I definitely wouldn't want to have anything to do with this asshole, because he took advantage when he didn't know, but that's on him. Only a matter of time until he does it to someone who does mind, and doubtless he's done so many times in the past. He's scum.

She just has a drinking problem.



Well, on a scale of one to ten, with one being Saturday night alone time and ten being the most awe-inspiring feats of carnal prowess known to man or god alike, it's still a two.





That. That is how you are being judgmental and critical. You know her better than we do, so I'm not going to claim that her self-respect is just fine, but it could be. You are basing this entire assessment of her character on your interpretation of how she should have reacted to something that happened to her. You go on ahead and do what you think is best for you, but it looks like you're being more than a little unfair to her here and you really should stop telling yourself that it's for her own good.
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I don't know how one acts like a rape victim... All people act and respond differently. I am not telling her how she should act, but if she keeps putting herself in this situation, then she is putting a lot a risk and something really bad can happen to her. For some reason, she doesn't see anything wrong with being treated that way and she is about to lose her boyfriend because she doesn't care about herself.

She probably doesn't see anything wrong hanging out with people who have no respect for her, and can't tell when people have respect for her. I find that sad. If she surrounds herself by people like that, something is bound to happen. She might be ok with this, but the next thing could be worse. I'd say she has some serious issues with herself, and I don't have the solution... She might be the type that has to hit a serious low and go through something really traumatizing before she'll finally wake up...
 
Khayembii Communique said:
My assessment of her self-worth is based on my entire time knowing her, not just this incident. I knew she had low self-respect before, but this event just proves it's way worse than I thought it was. I'm not criticizing her for that; I'd like to see her learn to respect herself. She's a great person and deserves it. But at the same time I have to respect myself by not entering into an unhealthy relationship with a girl that isn't ready for one.

So how am I being unfair?
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I can respect your decision... I wish I had a solution or knew how to help people like her, but I really don't.
 
Viktyr Korimir said:
"How dare you not act like a rape victim? You're so broken you don't even realize how broken you're supposed to be!"
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I guess I missed the comment where he said something like that...
 
SheWolf said:
I don't know how one acts like a rape victim... All people act and respond differently. I am not telling her how she should act, but if she keeps putting herself in this situation, then she is putting a lot a risk and something really bad can happen to her. For some reason, she doesn't see anything wrong with being treated that way and she is about to lose her boyfriend because she doesn't care about herself.
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Yeah. Her drinking's a problem and she probably needs to pay closer attention to her associates. That hardly makes her the emotional cripple everyone's making her out to be.
 
It's still rape because someone is not in the right state of mind or even conscious. Also there is no consent. Consent is always key. After consent, you look to drugs or alcohol. In the eyes of the law, if she/he is under the influence of a substance and still consents, it is still rape. Not always is that the intent, but that is how it is perceived. I would not take advantage of the situation nor would I continue in this.
 
Viktyr said:
Yeah. Her drinking's a problem and she probably needs to pay closer attention to her associates. That hardly makes her the emotional cripple everyone's making her out to be.
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She thinks she deserved it. Ergo, she's got issues.
 
And all females who live through this need to murder them. It thrilled me to see the look on his face when the gun was going up his ass after I took a glass rod and shoved it up his dick. It was also fun to knock him out twice. When he came too, the FUN began. He became the lord of the flies. Kinda like caylee anthony.
 
Loose Feather said:
And all females who live through this need to murder them. It thrilled me to see the look on his face when the gun was going up his ass after I took a glass rod and shoved it up his dick. It was also fun to knock him out twice. When he came too, the FUN began. He became the lord of the flies. Kinda like caylee anthony.
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Hey mods, since this asshole is banned, am I within the rules to call him an asshole? :lol:
 
Thorgasm said:
Hey mods, since this asshole is banned, am I within the rules to call him an asshole? :lol:
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as long as you don't have sex with him when he is passed out :thumbs:
 
OscarB63 said:
as long as you don't have sex with him when he is passed out :thumbs:
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I don't think that is against DP rules per se. At least I don't think there's a specific rule about it.
 
Absolutely Rape....she did not consent
 
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