OP - maybe you should be caring and concerning rather than judgmental and critical?
How am I being judgmental and critical? What are you talking about?
Maybe she was a different person back then
You mean
last week?
If someone faces rape - regardless of how they felt about it or dealt with it - and that acts as a future problem in a relationshp down the road becaues of what *someone else* did to them - then isn't that punishing the victim for something that isn't their fault?
I'm not breaking it off because she was raped. I'm breaking it off because she has no self respect, because she thinks that she deserved it and/or doesn't even care that it happened. I'm not criticizing her for that, I'm offering to help her seek treatment and am fully supportive, but I'm not going to be in a relationship with a girl like that.
BTW. We're not exclusive. We're not "going out" or "dating" or whatever you want to call it. We've had a relationship going, yes, but over the month or two I've known her it had never been defined outside of that.
Society says "yes, report!" but certain members of society make the victim feel like crap sometimes because of what happened to them. . . don't be one of those 'certain members'
I'm not. I'm just not going to be with her anymore.
*edit: you know what - now that I'm thinking about it - maybe this girl needs to haul ass away from you, Khayembii Communique, because you're the one coming onto a forum, spreading her personal life, and debating how you should approach your relationship with her because of something someone else did to her in her past . . . perhaps that makes you untrustworthy and vile? Obviously you can't keep secrets.*
That was pretty uncalled for. What do you think would have been better, me reveal my secret to a friend? Which do you think would have a better chance of it leaking out: me posting on an internet forum completely anonymously where nobody knows who I am, or talking to a friend who knows her and could accidentally blurt it out?
As for the rest of this comment, I think you have failed to understand how recent this was.
And your apology is accepted in advance. Stop reading into my posts what other members are writing.
BDBoop said:
KC, your message box is full. And what the heck, I can say it out here. She may be an adult survivor. I know there was a time where I thought I was good for one thing, and that was it. I was incredibly promiscuous. It went hand-in-hand with not believing I had a right to say no. And when that's where one is at, there's a major tendency to discount 'self'.
Not saying that's the case with her, but I can see it fitting.
I can see that fitting, definitely. She needs therapy, that's for sure, which is why I'm going to recommend my old therapist.
Regardless, nobody that has so little (zero) self-respect can be in a healthy relationship. There's no choice for me here.
Wake said:
This is why I'd love to see alcohol somehow eradicated or very firmly banned.
When drunk people do stupid things, because they're drunk.
I get drunk every weekend. I have
never done
anything close to this.
Take your misguided moral purity to another thread.