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Is cyber sex/sexting "cheating"

Is cyber sex/sexting cheating


  • Total voters
    47
I would probably take emotional cheating a lot harder than physical cheating.

A betrayal of the flesh can be overcome. A betrayal of the mind can linger forever.
 
Let me tell you a story. This is all 100 % true. When I played Everquest......

Level 60 Barb Warrior back in the day. ;)

I can accept people have different levels of tolerance for certain things in relationships especially when circumstances are extreme.

That said, this is cheating for me. In my heart I would have no doubt that flirting with via a cam or phone, sending pictures, mutual online masturbation, etc... done by me or my wife would be a serious breach of trust.

Also I find pornography, topless bars etc to be a similar breach.

I recognize that others might have a different opinion, and that's fine. But I believe people who do this are weakening/damaging the most important human relationship they can have.

Having read Weiner's admittance I can assume he agrees with me.
 
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If someone goes to a strip club once for a bachelor party or some type of guys night out... and gets a really hot lap dance, then goes home and makes passionate love to his wife... That's not cheating.

But if someone goes to a strip club weekly, spending the grocery money... I'd say there's a problem.

Wiener had 6 of these online flings? Was it taking away from time at work? Was it taking away from time at home? Was he looking to take if farther?

He didn't break the law, but it's hard to say if he broke is vows.

What a merciful and tolerant position.

However, on top of this he lied to the media, the American public, congress and the world for a week. He should resign.
 
I didn't hear him say she was aware of any of this and not bothered by it. Those would have been the first words out of my mouth in that situation, provided that was the case. And didn't he say he "let her down," or some such?

Hence the part about being between him and his wife.. Why would hear anything about it?? What part of 'None of your Business.' do you not understand?? Neither him or his wife should have to say anything to you for you to hear..

You don't see liberals demanding an explinantion from Ensign or Gov. Sanford about their affairs.. Hell, Sanford used tax payer money to fly to another country and see his.. Why is it that republicans don't seem to worried about such things when it is involves a republican.. Did you hear anything from them?? Or did you even ask??
 
Also I find pornography, topless bars etc to be a similar breach.

I recognize that others might have a different opinion, and that's fine. But I believe people who do this are weakening/damaging the most important human relationship they can have.

Not disagreeing that you can classify it for yourself as you like. But lots of couples like watching porn together, or even going to topless bars if they both happen to enjoy it. It's a complete fantasy - the actors therein are characters in that fantasy.

Most people don't literally want to go have sex with the porn star they see in a movie. There's a reason they tend to all look the same - it's a hyper-sexualized model that is supposed to connect to an internal fantasy. It's not really about the person in the movie.

I don't think this weakens relationships to a couple that's into it. If anything, it may help them be open with each other about what their fantasies are.
 
...As for myself as to whether it's cheating, I'm with most of the others - I think it depends on the rules of your relationship.

There's also a difference between old-school chat cybering, and cam cybering. And a further difference between a cyber "fling" and a sustained cyber "relationship."

It really depends.
 
Would he then be - in my estimation, you don't do anything behind your partner's back that you wouldn't feel perfectly comfortable doing in front of their face. Is that naive?

That's not naive. That's a big part of how I define "cheating"; if you have to hide it, it is. To me, fidelity is about loyalty, not sex. If you have put something else above your spouse and your marriage, whatever it is, you have cheated; you have betrayed the trust your spouse has held in you and broken your vows of marriage. In this case, it doesn't seem like there was much going on beyond exchanging pictures; it's somewhere between pornography and adultery, and much much closer to the former.
 
'

Sorry, its not a black and white issue to me, it comes down to how one defines 'cheating.' Having a physical sexual relationship outside of your marriage is serious and may warrant divorce. I don't believe 'sexting' rises to that level, but that is me.

Remind me not to marry you. :giggle:
 
he tried to lie about it when he got caught....he was cheating.
 
When a married person is engaged in digital intimacy, that's cheating, period.
 
You know - he's a super douche for speaking for his wife on this situation, too. He should not dare assume to put words in her mouth. "I love her and she loves me" - if she wrote a statement that's fine but to just interjet like that....tsk tsk.

If she actually wants to put this aside and move forward with their marriage then that's her personal choice but he should never *ever* dare presume ot say what he thinks she feels - those are her emotions and thoughts, not his . . . that just came across as super douche controlling psycho husband.
 
He doesn't have a speech writer? It's supposed to be "and I hope she still loves me".
 
That's not naive. That's a big part of how I define "cheating"; if you have to hide it, it is. To me, fidelity is about loyalty, not sex. If you have put something else above your spouse and your marriage, whatever it is, you have cheated; you have betrayed the trust your spouse has held in you and broken your vows of marriage. In this case, it doesn't seem like there was much going on beyond exchanging pictures; it's somewhere between pornography and adultery, and much much closer to the former.

The man who 'cheated' on me, had his first wife cheat on him in the same manner which I described to pbrauer. She fell in love with another man. They didn't act on it - but she did it, and Dim saw it happening. We were coworkers at that time, so I saw how it made him feel.

Now, if those were my only two options, I think I'd rather have my husband nail some nameless, faceless bimbo than watch him fall in love with another woman, right in front of my face. But as options go, they both bite the big one and I can't even tell you how far my opinion of my dearly beloved would fall.
 
Hence the part about being between him and his wife.. Why would hear anything about it?? What part of 'None of your Business.' do you not understand?? Neither him or his wife should have to say anything to you for you to hear..

You don't see liberals demanding an explinantion from Ensign or Gov. Sanford about their affairs.. Hell, Sanford used tax payer money to fly to another country and see his.. Why is it that republicans don't seem to worried about such things when it is involves a republican.. Did you hear anything from them?? Or did you even ask??

I'd reply in greater detail but after three readings of your post I still don't know what the hell you are trying to say. You seem to be rebutting an argument I have not made.

I don't demand any explanations from anyone.
 
Weiner said he didn't cheat. Agree, or disagree?

I think it depends on the dynamics of the relationship one finds themselves in. If my wife or I did something like that, the other would no doubt consider it cheating, but each relationship has its own rules.
 
A relationship where emotional and/or physical bonds with other people is encouraged/permitted/etc. doesn't seem like much of a relationship to me.

Well, thankfully not everyone is you and people are individuals and therefore have their own individual views of things. To you it may not be much of a relationship, but you also aren't in that relationship. It takes all kinds.
 
Remind me not to marry you. :giggle:

Not to worry, I have 39 years of marriage under my belt, so I have a different perspective than you.

(Besides, I could never marry a Glenn Beck fan, but I digress.)
 
Not to worry, I have 39 years of marriage under my belt, so I have a different perspective than you.

(Besides, I could never marry a Glenn Beck fan, but I digress.)

Is it an open marriage?
 
If the boyfriend started secretly sexting with another girl we'd have a serious trust issue on our hands. I have no problem with him looking at porn, going to strip clubs, or even receiving a "happy ending" at a massage parlor. He's pretty free to receive extraneous "jollies". Hidden, secretive actions are unacceptable for me.
 
the fact that he felt the need to lie about it indicates he considered it cheating
 
In the general sense of a relationship - following up a moment's sexual interest in another person where there is no agreement or discussion of boundaries is cheating. If boundaries have been agreed and then one of the parties crosses that boundary and doesn't tell / confess then it can't be anything but cheating.

Personally, I don't like to tie cheating to marriage as many people are in close relationships without the word "marriage" - a personal bond of trust and love has been agreed and the couple have committed to each other. If the couple have discussed and agreed beforehand that there are no boundaries or that the boundaries are flexible then there is no issue.
 
The answer is in the word. Cheating. If it is open and discussed and mutually agreed on then it isnt cheating. Its not very smart IMO, but thats just me. If however it is done behind the others back then of course it is cheating.
 
Interesting series of calls from those on the Left for Weiner to resign and/or wait for the investigation to see if he used House resources.

even Ed Schultz says he should step down.
 
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