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Are you a good person?

Skeptic Bob

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Do you consider yourself a good person? A bad person? A complicated mix of both?

What constitutes a “good person” in your mind? Is it if the good they do outweighs the bad? What if the reasons for doing the bad things they did were motivated by the best of intentions?

Things used to seem so black and white to me. The longer I live and the more things I experience, the grayer everything seems.
 
Do you consider yourself a good person? A bad person? A complicated mix of both?

What constitutes a “good person” in your mind? Is it if the good they do outweighs the bad? What if the reasons for doing the bad things they did were motivated by the best of intentions?

Things used to seem so black and white to me. The longer I live and the more things I experience, the grayer everything seems.

That is what people say..... the more you know the more you know that you dont know...I have not found this to be true. For me living and learning is little different than being a batter who over time after seeing a lot of pitches and after a lot of effort to get better at handling the pitches I do in fact get better at handling the pitches. I will not get them all, but I keep getting better, there is no downside to getting better, there is no feeling of draining powers of discernment as I get better. It is the opposite.

A good person used to be the one who bends toward God but we are rapidly becoming a post Christian nation so that does not work anymore. Now I would say a good person is one who bends towards truth, and one who makes an effort to walk the path of life with little toxicity to include not being a burden to others. Lots of folks I think would say that a good person must attempt good works but I find that to be anti introvert bias.
 
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I think the tricky part about what's good or bad is that it does tend to be gray. If it wasn't we wouldn't get into a lot of arguments on this forum. I believe that being a good person means that you strive to be a positive influence on humanity. Whether that is as simple as listening to someone who needs to say something, or as in depth as doing a bunch of volunteer work for your community. Striving to be positive is the key in my opinion.
 
That is what people say..... the more you know the more you know that you dont know...I have not found this to be true. For me living and learning is little different than being a batter who over time after seeing a lot of pitches and after a lot of effort to get better at handling the pitches I do in fact get better at handling the pitches. I will not get them all, but I keep getting better, there is no downside to getting better, there is no feeling of draining powers of discernment as I get better. It is the opposite.

A good person used to be the one who bends toward God but we are rapidly becoming a post Christian nation so that does not work anymore. Now I would say a good person is one who bends towards truth, and one who makes an effort to walk the path of life with little toxicity to include not being a burden to others. Lots of folks I think would say that a good person must attempt good works but I find that to be anti introvert bias.

Beautifully worded.
 
I try to be a good person but I will leave that judgement for other's to make.
I will say I do have my times were I fail that task but the goal is to try and meet that each day.
 
Thank You.

You see immediately of course the roots of my hostility towards Victim Culture....

I do. And while I have no doubt we disagree with what falls under that umbrella, we both agree that victim culture hurts society.
 
Do you consider yourself a good person? A bad person? A complicated mix of both?

What constitutes a “good person” in your mind? Is it if the good they do outweighs the bad? What if the reasons for doing the bad things they did were motivated by the best of intentions?

Things used to seem so black and white to me. The longer I live and the more things I experience, the grayer everything seems.

Trick question.
No, I don't think YOU are trying to trick me, I just think it's impossible to answer.
I like to think I am a good person, I want others to think I'm a good person, but I also hope I am humble enough to not have so much pride that I strut about telling others that I'm a good person.
I hope that my thoughts, words and deeds will convey that impression instead.

"Lord, please help me be the kind of person my DOG THINKS I am."
 
Trick question.
No, I don't think YOU are trying to trick me, I just think it's impossible to answer.
I like to think I am a good person, I want others to think I'm a good person, but I also hope I am humble enough to not have so much pride that I strut about telling others that I'm a good person.
I hope that my thoughts, words and deeds will convey that impression instead.

"Lord, please help me be the kind of person my DOG THINKS I am."

Me, I am not a good person. I am a fantastic person, a wonderful person. I do have one flaw though. I am just too humble.
 
Me, I am not a good person. I am a fantastic person, a wonderful person. I do have one flaw though. I am just too humble.

giphy-113.gif
 
A good person is someone who improves the lives of those around him. As in, those around him are better for having known him.

I like to think I'm a good person, but I definitely have flaws...things that hurt me, and those around me.
 
Do you consider yourself a good person? A bad person? A complicated mix of both?

What constitutes a “good person” in your mind? Is it if the good they do outweighs the bad? What if the reasons for doing the bad things they did were motivated by the best of intentions?

Things used to seem so black and white to me. The longer I live and the more things I experience, the grayer everything seems.



I think I'm a good person. I don't think about it though. I mean, I don't wake up and think "I'm going to be a good person today" or think of things to do to make me a good person.

I'm sure I screw up now and then, but I do my best to live my life and do no harm to others.
 
I think I'm a good person. I don't think about it though. I mean, I don't wake up and think "I'm going to be a good person today" or think of things to do to make me a good person.

I'm sure I screw up now and then, but I do my best to live my life and do no harm to others.

Does your blue-eyed Siamese think you're a good person?
Most Siamese are pretty vocal, so they'll let you know.
 
Do you consider yourself a good person? A bad person? A complicated mix of both?

What constitutes a “good person” in your mind? Is it if the good they do outweighs the bad? What if the reasons for doing the bad things they did were motivated by the best of intentions?

Things used to seem so black and white to me. The longer I live and the more things I experience, the grayer everything seems.

I agree about the gray . . .

i like to think i am but really that doesnt matter much. I am told im a good person by a lot but friends, family, co workers, acquaintances and even basic strangers. And ive been told that i have always been a good person. :shrug:

that is VERY flattering and humbling . . .

and also my FAVORITE compliment is i have been told many times that "your the same person no matter when i see you".. that always makes me feel good . . . i believe it comes from my parents upbringing and some what a natural disposition i have with regards to happiness/not dwelling/ respect for logic/ foresight

but i still dont know for sure lol but im glad people say and think so
 
Do you consider yourself a good person? A bad person? A complicated mix of both?

What constitutes a “good person” in your mind? Is it if the good they do outweighs the bad? What if the reasons for doing the bad things they did were motivated by the best of intentions?

Things used to seem so black and white to me. The longer I live and the more things I experience, the grayer everything seems.

In the eyes of God there are no good people today, or back in Jesus' day (Jesus excepted).

Jesus replied, "No one is good except God alone." - Mark 10:18
 
That is what people say..... the more you know the more you know that you dont know...I have not found this to be true. For me living and learning is little different than being a batter who over time after seeing a lot of pitches and after a lot of effort to get better at handling the pitches I do in fact get better at handling the pitches. I will not get them all, but I keep getting better, there is no downside to getting better, there is no feeling of draining powers of discernment as I get better. It is the opposite.

A good person used to be the one who bends toward God but we are rapidly becoming a post Christian nation so that does not work anymore. Now I would say a good person is one who bends towards truth, and one who makes an effort to walk the path of life with little toxicity to include not being a burden to others. Lots of folks I think would say that a good person must attempt good works but I find that to be anti introvert bias.

Dang, Hawk...nice post. :)

I have to agree, but would add one thing. I think a good person, while striving not to be a burden to others, finds meaning in being there for others, in as many capacities as possible. If a victim culture is unacceptable, actively seek to change it by tolerating less victims. I look at my grandparents' generation, while in some ways problematic AF (hehe), as being exemplary in this balance, back in the day most often referred to as when America was great. While today's definition of what constitutes a "helping hand" may be different, and more complicated, it's as needed as ever, and, in my mind, as integral to the notion of goodness as anything else. There have always been people who have been beyond help, but that didn't used to stop people from trying. I think it would be cool if our notion of "goodness" included that. :)
 
I agree about the gray . . .

i like to think i am but really that doesnt matter much. I am told im a good person by a lot but friends, family, co workers, acquaintances and even basic strangers. And ive been told that i have always been a good person. :shrug:

that is VERY flattering and humbling . . .

and also my FAVORITE compliment is i have been told many times that "your the same person no matter when i see you".. that always makes me feel good . . . i believe it comes from my parents upbringing and some what a natural disposition i have with regards to happiness/not dwelling/ respect for logic/ foresight

but i still dont know for sure lol but im glad people say and think so

I think that is usually a good indicator; when other people think you are a good person. Of course it depends on what information they have to go on. I have little doubt that my friends and family all think I am a good person. I have been told as much over the years. And I think I am a good husband, father and friend.

I guess I have just been dwelling on a conversation I had recently with a former colleague of mine, another person whose friends and family all adore. The kind of person who always has your back when you are in trouble. He said, “there is a reason decent people don’t last in the line of work we were in.”

Can a good person advance in a career that requires them to lie to people’s faces, to be duplicitous, to turn the lives of other “good” people upside down? Take politicians, for example. I think most people who initially go into politics do so with good intentions and noble motives. Maybe they even succeed in doing a lot of good during their political career. But I don’t think very many people advance in that career with any kind of longevity without having to compromise on many of their moral principles. But then they go home and to their friends and family they are still the same wonderful person. Maybe even when they leave office they speak out about all the shady stuff that went on behind the scenes. But they still did those same things when they were in.
 
I think that is usually a good indicator; when other people think you are a good person. Of course it depends on what information they have to go on. I have little doubt that my friends and family all think I am a good person. I have been told as much over the years. And I think I am a good husband, father and friend.

I guess I have just been dwelling on a conversation I had recently with a former colleague of mine, another person whose friends and family all adore. The kind of person who always has your back when you are in trouble. He said, “there is a reason decent people don’t last in the line of work we were in.”

Can a good person advance in a career that requires them to lie to people’s faces, to be duplicitous, to turn the lives of other “good” people upside down? Take politicians, for example. I think most people who initially go into politics do so with good intentions and noble motives. Maybe they even succeed in doing a lot of good during their political career. But I don’t think very many people advance in that career with any kind of longevity without having to compromise on many of their moral principles. But then they go home and to their friends and family they are still the same wonderful person. Maybe even when they leave office they speak out about all the shady stuff that went on behind the scenes. But they still did those same things when they were in.

Cant disagree at all . .

remember how i said i think i get it from my parents and upbringing. . . well many many many times people wanted my dad to run for office . . . he always said it just wasnt in him. he couldnt do the things he felt was probably needed to survive.
 
Dang, Hawk...nice post. :)

I have to agree, but would add one thing. I think a good person, while striving not to be a burden to others, finds meaning in being there for others, in as many capacities as possible. If a victim culture is unacceptable, actively seek to change it by tolerating less victims. I look at my grandparents' generation, while in some ways problematic AF (hehe), as being exemplary in this balance, back in the day most often referred to as when America was great. While today's definition of what constitutes a "helping hand" may be different, and more complicated, it's as needed as ever, and, in my mind, as integral to the notion of goodness as anything else. There have always been people who have been beyond help, but that didn't used to stop people from trying. I think it would be cool if our notion of "goodness" included that. :)

Thank You.

The problem with what you say here is that I know that what you are talking about is doing our best to hand out carrots to others thinking that surely more carrots will help, when I know that for vast numbers of people the last thing they can use these days are more carrots, what they need to be on the receiving end of a stick....that might help. You will recall that I am the guy who also says that strategically placed cliffs for people to fall off of are essential because without them people get stupid and lazy and become burdens to everyone else....and once we get a certain critical mass of stupid and/or lazy people who cant do anything on their own and who furthermore demand to be carried then we all die.

Another problem for you is that currently very few people are capable of helping others, most people cant even take care of themselves, they are not ready to try to help others and their crap attempts tend to do more harm than good. They can and usually do feel good about themselves for trying, but they are not helping, and their feeling good about themselves when they are not helping also does not help.

My wife is a survivor of horrific childhood sexual abuse and for a lot of years I was involved with helping other partners of CSA survivors navigate the ramifications of that......partners that are often fixated on the history and the state of the CSA survivor, on what they can do to help. I have seen how these people who are trying to be selfless and giving and helpful almost always get ground up and spit out by this life of trying to save someone they have decided needs saving and they are the one to do it. My first advice to these partners is always "Take care of you first, you are going to end up bitter dog meat if you dont, not only will you not save the victim that you are trying to save but you will if you keep doing what you are doing wreck your life, with almost no chance you will ever recover, because once your spirit is busted and once you are bitter you are done for".

What most people desperately need to stop running around trying to save everyone else, to instead become better themselves. If they do that well THEN they will be in a position to help others.

Put the oxygen mask on yourself first, THEN help others.

It is the only thing that works.
 
Do you consider yourself a good person? A bad person? A complicated mix of both?

What constitutes a “good person” in your mind? Is it if the good they do outweighs the bad? What if the reasons for doing the bad things they did were motivated by the best of intentions?

Things used to seem so black and white to me. The longer I live and the more things I experience, the grayer everything seems.

What an interesting question, and, for me, very timely. Had you asked me yesterday morning, I probably would have said that I think I'm a good person. Something happened yesterday afternoon, however, that's left me questioning that very thing.

I was driving west on I-70 in Missouri when two semi tractor-trailers collided. I was one out of about 8-11 cars that were not too far behind. I think some call that a "wolf pack." Anyway, it happened so quickly. One instant everything was normal, the next, cars were going right and left -- I went left instinctively, and into the grass median. Debris and loud noises were everywhere - then nowhere. It took awhile to comprehend what happened. I knew it was bad but I didn't know what. Other cars were stopped, too. Some people were out and running. My niece was with me and my first concern that was that she was all right. She was fine. I was fine, just shaken. I pulled back up onto the highway, and then I could see the semis. One right in front of the other, but the one in back appeared to have rear-ended the one in front. My first thought was that I should stop and offer to help, but a man was in the left lane directing traffic and waving me to go past. There were other people out and heading toward the semis as I passed and, while I tried not to look, I could see a guy kind of hanging out of the one in back. I'm not a medical person so I don't think I'd have been of much help but I've been kicking myself for not stopping since yesterday. My niece was yelling "Get out of here."

And I did. I left. I called the State Patrol later and explained that I'd been there but that I didn't know what had happened and that I didn't stop. I thought I was going to be in trouble, but the woman I talked to didn't seem to mind. She said they had lots of statements.

I'd been telling myself that the guy was dead and that no one could help him but the woman told me he died at the hospital. So, yeah, I feel like crap, and I'm not sure I'm a good person.

To top it off, my niece snapped photos with her phone and last night, she texted one to me. Good Lord -- I didn't need to see that. But, I keep looking at it and wondering if the guy would have survived if I'd stopped to help.

Not a good feeling at all.
 
What an interesting question, and, for me, very timely. Had you asked me yesterday morning, I probably would have said that I think I'm a good person. Something happened yesterday afternoon, however, that's left me questioning that very thing.

I was driving west on I-70 in Missouri when two semi tractor-trailers collided. I was one out of about 8-11 cars that were not too far behind. I think some call that a "wolf pack." Anyway, it happened so quickly. One instant everything was normal, the next, cars were going right and left -- I went left instinctively, and into the grass median. Debris and loud noises were everywhere - then nowhere. It took awhile to comprehend what happened. I knew it was bad but I didn't know what. Other cars were stopped, too. Some people were out and running. My niece was with me and my first concern that was that she was all right. She was fine. I was fine, just shaken. I pulled back up onto the highway, and then I could see the semis. One right in front of the other, but the one in back appeared to have rear-ended the one in front. My first thought was that I should stop and offer to help, but a man was in the left lane directing traffic and waving me to go past. There were other people out and heading toward the semis as I passed and, while I tried not to look, I could see a guy kind of hanging out of the one in back. I'm not a medical person so I don't think I'd have been of much help but I've been kicking myself for not stopping since yesterday. My niece was yelling "Get out of here."

And I did. I left. I called the State Patrol later and explained that I'd been there but that I didn't know what had happened and that I didn't stop. I thought I was going to be in trouble, but the woman I talked to didn't seem to mind. She said they had lots of statements.

I'd been telling myself that the guy was dead and that no one could help him but the woman told me he died at the hospital. So, yeah, I feel like crap, and I'm not sure I'm a good person.

To top it off, my niece snapped photos with her phone and last night, she texted one to me. Good Lord -- I didn't need to see that. But, I keep looking at it and wondering if the guy would have survived if I'd stopped to help.

Not a good feeling at all.

The fact you are not a medical person means that you would not have been able to help. If you stopped, you probably would have got in the way, and interfered with people DID know what they were doing to give people a chance.
 
Thank You.

The problem with what you say here is that I know that what you are talking about is doing our best to hand out carrots to others thinking that surely more carrots will help, when I know that for vast numbers of people the last thing they can use these days are more carrots, what they need to be on the receiving end of a stick....that might help. You will recall that I am the guy who also says that strategically placed cliffs for people to fall off of are essential because without them people get stupid and lazy and become burdens to everyone else....and once we get a certain critical mass of stupid and/or lazy people who cant do anything on their own and who furthermore demand to be carried then we all die.

Another problem for you is that currently very few people are capable of helping others, most people cant even take care of themselves, they are not ready to try to help others and their crap attempts tend to do more harm than good. They can and usually do feel good about themselves for trying, but they are not helping, and their feeling good about themselves when they are not helping also does not help.

My wife is a survivor of horrific childhood sexual abuse and for a lot of years I was involved with helping other partners of CSA survivors navigate the ramifications of that......partners that are often fixated on the history and the state of the CSA survivor, on what they can do to help. I have seen how these people who are trying to be selfless and giving and helpful almost always get ground up and spit out by this life of trying to save someone they have decided needs saving and they are the one to do it. My first advice to these partners is always "Take care of you first, you are going to end up bitter dog meat if you dont, not only will you not save the victim that you are trying to save but you will if you keep doing what you are doing wreck your life, with almost no chance you will ever recover, because once your spirit is busted and once you are bitter you are done for".

What most people desperately need to stop running around trying to save everyone else, to instead become better themselves. If they do that well THEN they will be in a position to help others.

Put the oxygen mask on yourself first, THEN help others.

It is the only thing that works.

I was re-reading this and it occurred to me that I should add the following:

Obviously you all understand clearly now where my hostility towards Victim Culture and as well its main driver the feminists is rooted.
 
The fact you are not a medical person means that you would not have been able to help. If you stopped, you probably would have got in the way, and interfered with people DID know what they were doing to give people a chance.

Thank you. I hope you're right - that's what my husband told me, too. My heart doesn't feel too good about it, though.
 
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