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Are you a good person?

Thank you. I hope you're right - that's what my husband told me, too. My heart doesn't feel too good about it, though.

I think your husband has it properly in this case.
 
"work in progress" is my motto. At night I try reflecting on what I said and did t/o the day, asking for forgiveness for being impatient and unkind.
 
What an interesting question, and, for me, very timely. Had you asked me yesterday morning, I probably would have said that I think I'm a good person. Something happened yesterday afternoon, however, that's left me questioning that very thing.

I was driving west on I-70 in Missouri when two semi tractor-trailers collided. I was one out of about 8-11 cars that were not too far behind. I think some call that a "wolf pack." Anyway, it happened so quickly. One instant everything was normal, the next, cars were going right and left -- I went left instinctively, and into the grass median. Debris and loud noises were everywhere - then nowhere. It took awhile to comprehend what happened. I knew it was bad but I didn't know what. Other cars were stopped, too. Some people were out and running. My niece was with me and my first concern that was that she was all right. She was fine. I was fine, just shaken. I pulled back up onto the highway, and then I could see the semis. One right in front of the other, but the one in back appeared to have rear-ended the one in front. My first thought was that I should stop and offer to help, but a man was in the left lane directing traffic and waving me to go past. There were other people out and heading toward the semis as I passed and, while I tried not to look, I could see a guy kind of hanging out of the one in back. I'm not a medical person so I don't think I'd have been of much help but I've been kicking myself for not stopping since yesterday. My niece was yelling "Get out of here."

And I did. I left. I called the State Patrol later and explained that I'd been there but that I didn't know what had happened and that I didn't stop. I thought I was going to be in trouble, but the woman I talked to didn't seem to mind. She said they had lots of statements.

I'd been telling myself that the guy was dead and that no one could help him but the woman told me he died at the hospital. So, yeah, I feel like crap, and I'm not sure I'm a good person.

To top it off, my niece snapped photos with her phone and last night, she texted one to me. Good Lord -- I didn't need to see that. But, I keep looking at it and wondering if the guy would have survived if I'd stopped to help.

Not a good feeling at all.

I don't think that makes you a bad person. I mean, there's probably not much you could've done in that situation to begin with.
 
I was re-reading this and it occurred to me that I should add the following:

Obviously you all understand clearly now where my hostility towards Victim Culture and as well its main driver the feminists is rooted.

Some victims are destroyed. I see where you have interpreted things to fit your own personal experience. I guess that is a weakness we all share. Try to put yourself in the shoes of a victim who has no one and nothing to turn to. They do exist. Victim Culture is a figment of your imagination. Move on and be better.
 
I am a bad person to most, good to a few. That's the best I can do.
 
Depends on your values. I'm a good neighbor, a considerate driver, a very exceptional and professional employee. I keep my family as a top priority and treat my friends famously. In my every personal interaction I am calm, peaceful, respectful, honest and generous. I'm not violent or underhanded.

That said, in my online interactions I can be a bit of a ****, especially if I'm buzzed and especially towards anyone arguing against my individual rights or arguing for what I think might contribute to the polarization and suffering in the world. I talk to people in a way I couldn't face to face, perhaps because of the anonymity, especially on my throwaway reddit account. But mostly because I don't see a face whose feelings i'm walking on eggshells around as I more patiently try to find common ground before openly disagreeing with their worldview.

For example I have a co-worker who, after a great conversation on film, excitedly asked me what I thought of "Ancient Aliens and the Annunaki?"

Online to a stranger my response would be, "Its utter bull****, even George Tsoukalos doesn't buy it; its just his bread and butter."

But to his face, I had to be much more tactful.

TLDR: I think of myself as a good person but I can be rather callous and tactless online.
 
Some victims are destroyed. I see where you have interpreted things to fit your own personal experience. I guess that is a weakness we all share. Try to put yourself in the shoes of a victim who has no one and nothing to turn to. They do exist. Victim Culture is a figment of your imagination. Move on and be better.

I am Zen, everything boils down to personal experience with us.
 
I am Zen, everything boils down to personal experience with us.

Then Zen is in error. Because your personal experience cannot lead to understanding another's personal experience.
 
Are you a good person?
Personhood precludes goodness. Ask instead whether I am a good friend, a good neighbor, a good brother, a good son, and so on. A person may be good in such relational terms, but a person cannot be good at being a person.
 
Question...

" Do you consider yourself a good person? "

Most definitely.
I will admit not being perfect but but trying everyday.
 
I believe that being a good person means that you strive to be a positive influence on humanity. Whether that is as simple as listening to someone who needs to say something, or as in depth as doing a bunch of volunteer work for your community. Striving to be positive is the key in my opinion.

What do you mean by "positive influence"? What precisely is this "positive influence" moral standard?

Assuming that I have the proper capabilities to do such things at the given time period,
Why ought I listen to someone who needs to say something?
Why ought I do a bunch of volunteer work for my community?
What is this "positive" moral standard of which you speak? Who gets to determine what moral actions this "positive" standard consists of?
 
A good person is someone who improves the lives of those around him. As in, those around him are better for having known him.

As in, someone who follows the 10 Commandments and the golden rule?
 
In the eyes of God there are no good people today, or back in Jesus' day (Jesus excepted).

Jesus replied, "No one is good except God alone." - Mark 10:18

This is the correct/truthful answer.
 
If God does not exist, and there will not be an eternal afterlife (or any accountability for actions performed during your lifetime), does it even matter whether or not you are a good person? What would one ultimately be achieving that held any meaning?
 
As in, someone who follows the 10 Commandments and the golden rule?

They're not bad, but honestly, there are better ways of improving the lives of others.

The 10 commandments is a list of things not to do. Not doing things won't get you very far in life.
 
What specifically is this moral "truth" standard of which you speak?

Not moral truth, truth, what is real, what is true. We have the capacity for both good and evil and we have the capacity for both reality and fantasy.....it is very important that we know which one is better for us, and that our will pursues it.

Far too many people these days dont pursue reality, they live in their fantasy....I claim these are bad people.
 
Will you help another person truly in need?

Will you help someone with personal advice even if they vote for the "other team"?

Have you ever been helped by others?

If you answered yes to these 3 questions then you certainly are at least half good, I'd be willing to bet more good then bad.
 
What do you mean by "positive influence"? What precisely is this "positive influence" moral standard?

Assuming that I have the proper capabilities to do such things at the given time period,
Why ought I listen to someone who needs to say something?
Why ought I do a bunch of volunteer work for my community?
What is this "positive" moral standard of which you speak? Who gets to determine what moral actions this "positive" standard consists of?

For me it has to do with my own moral base that was heavily influenced by growing up in the Methodist church. I don't believe anymore, but I still see the value in the lessons I learned as a child.
 
Do you consider yourself a good person? A bad person? A complicated mix of both?

What constitutes a “good person” in your mind? Is it if the good they do outweighs the bad? What if the reasons for doing the bad things they did were motivated by the best of intentions?

Things used to seem so black and white to me. The longer I live and the more things I experience, the grayer everything seems.

Pretty soon it'll all make sense.
 
"work in progress" is my motto. At night I try reflecting on what I said and did t/o the day, asking for forgiveness for being impatient and unkind.

I think that habit of self reflection is a really good habit to pick up.
 
Do you consider yourself a good person? A bad person? A complicated mix of both?

What constitutes a “good person” in your mind? Is it if the good they do outweighs the bad? What if the reasons for doing the bad things they did were motivated by the best of intentions?

Things used to seem so black and white to me. The longer I live and the more things I experience, the grayer everything seems.

I don't think I am.

Because I hold a standard of what a good person is, that I don't feel that I meet. I have done good things, but my motives behind them are usually for selfish reasons. And I consider a good person someone that doesn't do it for selfish reasons.

I also have to curb a lot of my darker thoughts. I have to curb some of my more violent tendencies. I was raised in an honor culture that celebrated violence and the exclusion of others that were different. And it's hard to beat programming. I have to question my own thoughts, are these valid, or just ignorance I was taught.

The rare occasion I let my self control lax, I become extreme in my measures, singularly focused on damage to the exclusion of even self preservation. I am told I'm bipolar, and that I have ptsd. But, it's more than that. There is bliss in pure rage, and it scares me that I enjoy it.

And so no, I am not a good person. Just someone who tries to avoid good people lest I damage their optimistic world view.
 
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