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Introverts vs Extroverts

Fathis Crowe

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What is your take on the two personality traits? Why are some people loud and others are so quiet?

I feel as though everyone has insecurities, but what are the differences between an extrovert's insecurities versus an introvert's insecurities?
 
some of us are drained by other people, and some are recharged by them. for most, it's probably a mixture. it's definitely an extrovert's world, though, so if you are an introvert, you have probably gotten pretty good at pretending and then scheduling time slots to recharge.
 
I'm not so sure I would call them insecurities...just differences in preferences of what we all need in order to function well in society...

I am most definitely an introvert...I need my alone time to unwind and recharge...being around people all the time exhausts me, though I do enjoy socializing...just in small doses is what I can handle best...I never get bored from being alone, which is something I understand extroverts have trouble with...their batteries are charged from being with others...I feed off of my alone time, to meditate and reflect...
 
What is your take on the two personality traits? Why are some people loud and others are so quiet?

I feel as though everyone has insecurities, but what are the differences between an extrovert's insecurities versus an introvert's insecurities?

It is human nature, there are pluses and minuses to both, though in America introverts have long been discriminated against.
 
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What is your take on the two personality traits? Why are some people loud and others are so quiet?

I feel as though everyone has insecurities, but what are the differences between an extrovert's insecurities versus an introvert's insecurities?

I hate labels.
 
some of us are drained by other people, and some are recharged by them. for most, it's probably a mixture. it's definitely an extrovert's world, though, so if you are an introvert, you have probably gotten pretty good at pretending and then scheduling time slots to recharge.


I never thought about it in the light of being recharged vs Drained. That's a very good and interesting point. In my mind it was always being shy/insecure vs overconfident/attention-seeking.
I only know by my own experiences though. My brother has always been an extrovert. But he is the type who needs "all eyes on me," hence attention seeking. Due to 26 years of being overpowered by him it caused me to become very shy and has given me a sense of worthlessness at times. Even to this day I get the feeling of having nothing worth saying when in social situations, yet I know that's all in my head.
As for my brother he is known to say everything and anything to get attention. (Even if it means to lie) People know him as a compulsive liar actually. It's quite sad. His own friends don't believe him anymore.
Anytime he tells a story his friends question how much of it is actually true. I hate that he's like this.
 
I never thought about it in the light of being recharged vs Drained. That's a very good and interesting point. In my mind it was always being shy/insecure vs overconfident/attention-seeking.
I only know by my own experiences though. My brother has always been an extrovert. But he is the type who needs "all eyes on me," hence attention seeking. Due to 26 years of being overpowered by him it caused me to become very shy and has given me a sense of worthlessness at times. Even to this day I get the feeling of having nothing worth saying when in social situations, yet I know that's all in my head.
As for my brother he is known to say everything and anything to get attention. (Even if it means to lie) People know him as a compulsive liar actually. It's quite sad. His own friends don't believe him anymore.
Anytime he tells a story his friends question how much of it is actually true. I hate that he's like this.

I'll take honest and quiet over the other any day...
 
I never thought about it in the light of being recharged vs Drained. That's a very good and interesting point. In my mind it was always being shy/insecure vs overconfident/attention-seeking.
I only know by my own experiences though. My brother has always been an extrovert. But he is the type who needs "all eyes on me," hence attention seeking. Due to 26 years of being overpowered by him it caused me to become very shy and has given me a sense of worthlessness at times. Even to this day I get the feeling of having nothing worth saying when in social situations, yet I know that's all in my head.
As for my brother he is known to say everything and anything to get attention. (Even if it means to lie) People know him as a compulsive liar actually. It's quite sad. His own friends don't believe him anymore.
Anytime he tells a story his friends question how much of it is actually true. I hate that he's like this.

i'm a bit of a mixture. i like other people, but they drain the **** out of me sometimes. i fronted a rock band for years, but i generally had a few drinks to keep the anxiety at bay. my reaction to finding out about some new social event that i wasn't planning for is usually "oh ****." i used to avoid as many of them as i could, but now i have a wife, so the decision isn't entirely mine. probably better that way; you have to push your zone of comfort or it will contract, IMO.

as for your sense of worthlessness or that you don't have anything to say, allow me to remove that one. the worthlessness part is bunk, and you obviously have something to say. if you can start an interesting thread, you'll probably be fine during social situations. what i often do is to find one person to have a conversation with; basically, whoever floats in. i'm usually better one on one. then a conversation starts, and you get pulled into a bigger group, and it goes from there. i also try to pretend that i'm relaxed until i actually am.
 
I am an introvert. I like being around people, but I also need my time to recharge and can easily handle several days by myself during backcountry wilderness trips.

That all said, your full myers briggs will tell you more about yourself than just the first letter of it (I or E).
 
Introverts > extroverts.
 
What is your take on the two personality traits? Why are some people loud and others are so quiet?

I feel as though everyone has insecurities, but what are the differences between an extrovert's insecurities versus an introvert's insecurities?
This is a topic near and dear to my heart, and I have done a lot of reading and research on it. I am a serious introvert. I get drained by social activity. I need quiet and solitude to recharge. When I go to a social function like a party I look for a reason to leave as soon as I can... if necessary. Doesn't mean I don't occasionally get into it and stay longer, but that's rare. I'd rather have a few good friends than many just ok friends.

According to most research, the world is roughly 75% extrovert and 25% introvert, and my guess is that this is pretty accurate. It is an extrovert's world, and to succeed introverts are the ones who need to adapt, who need to sometimes simply pretend and go along, especially in the business world.

For the last twenty-ish years I have been actively trying to make myself more adaptable. I have been a member of Toastmasters which has greatly helped me learn to function and thrive in an extrovert's world. But I still need my alone time, too, when it's all done.
 
i'm a bit of a mixture. i like other people, but they drain the **** out of me sometimes. i fronted a rock band for years, but i generally had a few drinks to keep the anxiety at bay. my reaction to finding out about some new social event that i wasn't planning for is usually "oh ****." i used to avoid as many of them as i could, but now i have a wife, so the decision isn't entirely mine. probably better that way; you have to push your zone of comfort or it will contract, IMO.

as for your sense of worthlessness or that you don't have anything to say, allow me to remove that one. the worthlessness part is bunk, and you obviously have something to say. if you can start an interesting thread, you'll probably be fine during social situations. what i often do is to find one person to have a conversation with; basically, whoever floats in. i'm usually better one on one. then a conversation starts, and you get pulled into a bigger group, and it goes from there. i also try to pretend that i'm relaxed until i actually am.
That doesn't surprise me one bit. A great many performers, especially comedians and singers, are known to be introverts.
 
This is a topic near and dear to my heart, and I have done a lot of reading and research on it. I am a serious introvert. I get drained by social activity. I need quiet and solitude to recharge. When I go to a social function like a party I look for a reason to leave as soon as I can... if necessary. Doesn't mean I don't occasionally get into it and stay longer, but that's rare. I'd rather have a few good friends than many just ok friends.

According to most research, the world is roughly 75% extrovert and 25% introvert, and my guess is that this is pretty accurate. It is an extrovert's world, and to succeed introverts are the ones who need to adapt, who need to sometimes simply pretend and go along, especially in the business world.

For the last twenty-ish years I have been actively trying to make myself more adaptable. I have been a member of Toastmasters which has greatly helped me learn to function and thrive in an extrovert's world. But I still need my alone time, too, when it's all done.

My dad talks to me about Toastmasters all the time. I'm too nervous to start. Being an introvert, what is your humble opinion about it?
 
That doesn't surprise me one bit. A great many performers, especially comedians and singers, are known to be introverts.

yeah, i guess that makes sense. on stage with a mic, i'm generally more comfortable.
 
This thread is evidence that introverts clearly have better discussions. :)
 
What is your take on the two personality traits? Why are some people loud and others are so quiet?

I feel as though everyone has insecurities, but what are the differences between an extrovert's insecurities versus an introvert's insecurities?

Neither necessarily implies a person has insecurities. Extroverts are externally focused, and introverts are internally focused, that's all. Both like socializing. Extroverts just tend to prefer busier venues and more networking, to the introvert's one-on-one close bond model. They have different ideas of what qualifies as a meaningful interaction.

Either one can be socially anxious. It just looks different. Extroverts might seem "strange," sometimes say something inappropriate out of nervousness, over-apologize for everything, etc. Introverts are more likely to actually avoid the interaction all together.

The conflation of introversion with quietness or shyness is common, but not necessarily true. I'm an introvert with a big, expressive voice. I've never had social anxiety. I just feel distracted by too much cross-conversation going on at once, and I prefer to be able to focus on a single, contiguous conversation.

I'm also very comfortable on stage, or giving speeches. And actually, that's not unusual. There are lots of famous performers who are introverted. Think about it for a second: when you're performing, are you really interacting? Or are you focusing on your own task, trying to do it the best you can? It's much more the latter.

Some people do drain me, because I am only interested in certain types of conversations that some other people aren't. I get drained by small talk or other surface-level conversation. It's not natural to me, so doing it requires a conscious effort that just doesn't feel enjoyable, and that's why it's draining. I want to get into a deeper level conversation, and stay there. It's part of why I like forums. No small talk, just straight to the focus of whatever the forum is about, which is the thing I'm interested in.

This is also, basically, why I need alone time. That's the time I use to learn, think, or create, which then fuels my ability to converse about the things I like to converse about. I need that quiet time to focus on my mental process.

I prefer knowing people to meeting people for that reason. People I already know are going to be easier to slide into that mode of conversation with. I'm perfectly happy to have a handful of close people in my life, and pretty much just stick to that.
 
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It may not really be about being alone vs. being with people because we all need exposure to other people, even introverts. As an introvert I value 1 on 1 interactions a lot more than groups because it tends to evoke more meaningful conversations. In groups everyone ends up sacrificing some of their individual authenticity to join the hive mind and I find that challenging to reckon with. Group interactions also lower the bar of conversation IMO. I can socialize with one really good friend all day and not feel drained by it even though I'm introverted. Groups are hard because usually the conversation is more surface level and nothing is more off putting than having to pretend I care about topics that I don't in order to save face.

There's also the now-popularized empath/narcissist spectrum. People who talk about themselves incessantly with little pause or without a real dialogue with me, I find incredibly draining. People who are more empathetic and tend to divide the energy equally in conversation, I could talk all day with.
 
I never thought about it in the light of being recharged vs Drained. That's a very good and interesting point. In my mind it was always being shy/insecure vs overconfident/attention-seeking.
I only know by my own experiences though. My brother has always been an extrovert. But he is the type who needs "all eyes on me," hence attention seeking. Due to 26 years of being overpowered by him it caused me to become very shy and has given me a sense of worthlessness at times. Even to this day I get the feeling of having nothing worth saying when in social situations, yet I know that's all in my head.

What you describe is probably typical for a lot of people. I'll give you a cheat sheet.

1. Accept yourself and your family. Admit you love yourself and your family. You are good enough, and that's enough. If you forget:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ldAQ6Rh5ZI

Never say that **** to anyone in public though.

2. Examine what you want, what makes you happy, what you enjoy, what you want to achieve with your life. This should be what you dwell on, and not all that negative stuff. Things that are not going well are not something to dwell on or beat yourself up about, they are things that maybe you lower in priority and raise something else that is working out better. Big deal right?

3. Then based on those goals/ideas from #2, start organizing your life around those things.

Enjoy.

Seriously, all this insecure/shy is just negative labels. So is the stuff you remark about extroverts. Let all that go. Your brother didn't make you, let that go. Focus on you and what makes your life good. Don't focus on the bad, you simply avoid that where it makes sense (not if it's dangerous to ignore it but you get the idea). Forgive you parents too if you need to, they tried and parenting is nuts (life is nuts is the bigger picture).
If you don't enjoy people around strangers talking about random, unimportant stuff, so what? Don't do it so much. Big deal. It has little to do with things in your control, people are just different. Our society is large enough that even the most extreme ends of our social spectrum have a niche. But I can assure you, introverted is not a niche, it's a giant swath of the population. You aren't running into lots of them because they have better sense and are likely doing something they enjoy instead :p

Edit: The "draining" thing seems to me to be a big part of it. In all seriousness, my wife and I have a rough timeline how of long we need to recover based on the duration and intensity of the engagement, and it's fairly accurate.
What Norther Light remarks on above also seems to be a big part of it. The types of people you do enjoy interacting with may just not be as common, may not be in the places you are, etc. You can change that in many cases (see above).
 
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It is human nature, there are pluses and minuses to both, though in America introverts have long been discriminated against.

INTROVERTS unite!!!!
 
This thread is evidence that introverts clearly have better discussions. :)

I have read that introverts are closer to 50/50, if not a majority, of most internet forums. It's a way to express themselves without the uncomfortable person-to-person contact.
 
My dad talks to me about Toastmasters all the time. I'm too nervous to start. Being an introvert, what is your humble opinion about it?

I credit Toastmasters with helping me immensely in being able to communicate in large groups when I need to. I still don't crave it, and probably never will, and don't even really want to, but I now have the confidence to do it when I need to. I have since led meetings at work, and other functions, and did just fine.
 
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